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Anons

By: Domino_anon on Apr 1st, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 6.48 KB  |  hits: 59  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Day Anons in Equestria
  2. >You are Domino, one of the many humans in this world
  3. >When all of you were mysteriously teleported here, you were elected as the ambassador for the humans
  4. >The title came with little authority, but the other humans respected you enough to listen when you spoke
  5. >You wake up and shield your eyes from the sun's rays peaking through your window
  6. >You check the calendar next to your bed and you sigh
  7. >Today was going to be a long day
  8. >You go through your morning routine and prepare to leave, but you stop when you see your reflection in a window
  9. >The bags under your eyes and the slight wrinkles hint at the stress of your job
  10. >You exit your house, no time for breakfast, and walk slowly towards the town to savor the morning
  11. >You approach the house of another human, Smudgey, and walk up to the front door
  12. >You knock and the sound of machinery starts up in response
  13. >The door is opened by Twibot, one of Smudgey's creations, and she greets you
  14. >"Greeting: Good morning Ambassador! How may I be of assistance?" the metallic voice asks
  15. >You look behind the robot to Smudgey as he comes to the door
  16. >He notices your solemn expression and remains silent
  17. "Smudgey, I need you to use Twibot to send a message." you tell him
  18. >He nods and grabs a control that looks like an iPad
  19. >At the press of a button, a microphone extends from Twibot's horn and you clear your throat
  20. "All humans please report to the Embassy at noon for an important assembly. Attendance is required." you declare
  21. >The mic retracts and Smudgey presses a few buttons on his control
  22. >Twibot rises into the air and takes off to the nearest human-occupied house
  23. >You thank him and take your leave, continuing into town
  24. >You reach the market and you slow your pace
  25. >The smell of various fruits and vegetables reaches your nose and you inhale deeply
  26. >"Mr. Ambassador! How nice to see you!" a mare calls out
  27. >You stop and search for the source of the voice
  28. >Rarity trots up to you smiling and flutters her eyelids seductively
  29. >She'd been flirting with you since you met her, seeing as you're the only human who dressed nice due to your job
  30. >Who would've known that Raritan was the jealous type?
  31. "Good morning Rarity, I have important business to attend to so I must be on my-"
  32. >She cuts you off with magic, pursing your lips shut
  33. >"Oh nonsense, I'm sure that boring business could wait. Besides..."
  34. >She pulls your tie with magic, making you bend down to her level, and whispers into your ear
  35. >"...I could use a big, strong stallion such as yourself to help me."
  36. >A bead of sweat rolls down the side of your face
  37. >Rarity releases you and you stand, straightening your tie and looking around for a way out
  38. >You see Raritan talking with Pinkie and you let out a sigh of relief
  39. "One moment please" you tell Rarity
  40. >You jog over, grab him by the arm, and pull him back to the waiting mare
  41. "I'm sure Raritan here would gladly help you with whatever you need." you say, patting him on the shoulder
  42. >You quickly depart, walking with long strides toward the Human Embassy
  43. >The building comes into view and you relax, confident that no other distractions would present themselves
  44. >The Embassy was a gift to the humans from the princess, built to look like the US Capitol building
  45. >You approach the front doors and check your watch
  46. >11:50, everybody would be arriving soon
  47. >You enter the building and head to the assembly hall, a massive room adorned by a semicircular table with a podium in the middle of it
  48. >You take your place at the podium just as the doors open
  49. >The other humans enter and take their places at the table
  50. >After everybody is seated and chatting amongst themselves, you clear your throat to get their attention
  51. >They all stop talking and you speak
  52. "Good afternoon gentleman. Before we begin, is everybody here?" you ask
  53. >Nobody says a word
  54. >You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh
  55. "Do I really have to take a roll call? What is this, second grade?"
  56. >"Your mom's in second grade!" someone calls out
  57. "GODDAMMIT PICKLE, I'LL GIVE FLUTTERSHY YOUR HOUSE KEY!" you yell at him
  58. >He goes pale as memories of Fluttershy's antics flood back to him
  59. "Now, we have an important matter to attend to. As you all know, it has been one year since we arrived here."
  60. >Everybody nods and murmurs in agreement
  61. "And I have been informed that extensive research shows that a new portal is about to open."
  62. >Everybody gasps in surprise
  63. "Now if what Twilight-"
  64. >"OH GOD NO!" Slasher screams and cowers under the table
  65. >You grind your teeth and look to Alex
  66. >The dragon who used to be human picks Slasher up and drops him back in his chair
  67. "Thank you Alex, now as I was saying-"
  68. >Jchallo raises his hand
  69. >You stare daggers at him and he squirms in his seat
  70. "What." you barely keep from snapping at him
  71. >"Uhh... You know what, nevermind." he sinks down in his seat
  72. >You take a deep breath and continue
  73. "Now, if there are no more interrup-"
  74. >"When's lunch?" calls out Allyourwat
  75. >You stop trying to speak, stand up straight, and step down from the podium
  76. >You walk towards the door but you're stopped by Nebulus
  77. >"What about the news?" he asks
  78. "Fuck it." and you continue walking
  79. >Scrabhunter stops you
  80. >"Come on man, just-"
  81. "Nope. I'm done." you keep on walking
  82. >You walk out and slam the door, causing Raod to burst into flames
  83. >"Oh dear." is all he says
  84. >You walk out the Embassy doors and around the side of the building
  85. >Raritan stumbles out from behind the building fumbling with his belt, his shirt unbuttoned
  86. >Rarity trots out behind him, fixing her mane
  87. >Despite your anger, you high-five him as you walk past and into the forest behind the Embassy
  88. >You enter a clearing, the one you all arrived in, and you check your watch
  89. "4...3...2...1..."
  90. >Electricity crackles in the air and the wind picks up
  91. >You stand silently as reality tears open and a group of humans is dumped out onto the grass
  92. >A young man stands and brushes himself off, then looks to you
  93. >"Hey, where are we?" he asks
  94. >You walk walk calmly up to the groaning pile
  95. "Gentlemen, welcome to Equestria."
  96. >A word flashes into your vision
  97. [ERROR]
  98. >It blinks a few times, then a new message takes it's place
  99. [MAXIMUM HUMAN OCCUPANCY REACHED]
  100. >You smile, knowing what was coming
  101. [REPLACING PAST SUBJECTS]
  102. "What's your name?" you ask the young man
  103. >"I'm Noel." he tells you, "Who are you?"
  104. >You look down as your feet start to fade away
  105. "Enjoy your year, newfag." is the last thing you say before your head fades into nothingness
  106.  
  107. Writers may come and go...
  108. But Flutterrape?
  109. Flutterrape is forever.
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