Title:           Bach is love, Bach is life
Author:          Dickwaffle
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/nu04eYZH
First Edit:      Wednesday 12th of February 2014 05:25:24 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 12th of February 2014 05:25:24 PM CDT

>I was 8 years old
>I loved Bach so much
>I'd play Contrapunctus 11 every day
>one day I go to a party
>they have a piano
>they're playing smash mouth
>turn that shit off and begin to play the well tempered clavier
>suddenly this ugly fat brogre neckbeard starts yelling at me
>he looks pissed off, red face
>"why the fuck did you turn all star off to play your Farquaad shit fuck you Shrek is love Shrek is life"
>he rambles on for an hour, making no sense
>he finally stops
>I look him straight in the eye
>"Shrek is dreck"
>he gasps
>the pungent smell of onions begins to fill the room
>smash mouth turns back on
>suddenly Shrek bursts in through the wall
>"What did ya say about me, laddeh?"
> I call him dreck again
>his face is seething with rage
>he pulls down his trousers and prepares to rape me with his massive eshrekt shrock
>I laugh at his puny shrock, and begin to improvise a six voice ricercar on "all star"
>Shrek turns all pale and starts to speak French like the green faggot he is
>suddenly the master himself, JS Bach, appears from thin air
>he looks Shrek straight in the eye, and says
>"fugue you"
>suddenly JS Bach pulls out his mighty pipe organ and impale shrek's face
>I can see his bloody eyeballs being forced out of their sockets
>Bach roars a mighty five voice roar
>I can hear Bach's fugue climaxing as the theme is heard simultaneously in normal and inverted motion
>Bach's JS cock explodes with semen, and I can see rivers of cum flowing out of shrek's mouth, ears, and eye sockets
>bits of brain are floating about
>JS Bach laughs, and says
>"now it's time for rectus"
>he puts down shrek's limp, mutilated corpse and walks up behind me
>I bend over, prepared for the fuguing at hand
>Bach drives his cocktrapunctus into my asshole
>he modulates to major, minor, and even modal keys
>my screams of pleasure can barely be heard
>at the final cadence, I black out
>I wake up alone to the smell of coffee
>Bach is love, Bach is life