Title:           Evil Feminist Twilight (one-shot)
Author:          DickBiscuit
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/MZv6b7YL
First Edit:      Sunday 21st of February 2016 02:58:08 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Monday 2nd of January 2017 03:05:48 AM CDT

>"…and that's where you'll be staying Anon!"
>you look over to where Twilight's pointing
>it looks like a fucking concentration camp
>fifteen foot high barbed wire fences
>guard towers on every corner, complete with snipers
>on the other side ponies walk between gray concrete buildings with their heads hung low
>most of them are crying
"What the fuck is this Twilight?"
>she looks at you like you're a retarded kid who got his crayons stuck up his nose again
>"It's the male camp anon, where all the males go when they're not needed"
>you look over and confirm that all the ponies on the other side of the fence are dudes
"Why do the guys have to stay here?"
>she gives you another 'are you retarded' look
>this one feels more like 'you fucking got your head stuck in a running washing machine again, didn't you?'
>"Because if we don’t they could go around raping mares and oppressing the less privileged."
>you look at her baffled
"But if you treat them like this haven't they become the less privileged?"
>she laughs straight to your face
>"You're so funny Anon! Everypony knows the most oppressive, hateful, and rape crazed creatures in the world are men!"
>she stops to wipe away a tear
>"but seriously though don't make jokes like that or the privilege police will have you on a third degree offense"
>you're left absolutely speechless
>"Have fun Anon! I'll schedule a date for the two of us and pick you up around say, 3 o'clock tomorrow?"
>you barely break out of your stupor to respond
"Huh? Oh yeah sure, whatever you say Twilight."
>"Great! By the way I expect you to put out on the first date, in the mean time arts and crafts is going on in Cell Block 3. Have fun!"
>wait, put out?
>you turn to tell her that won't happen but she's already teleported away
>alright then
>Time for some arts and crafts
?
>Be Twilight
>be on your way to the Male Camp
>you're so excited for your date!
>it's been a good long while since you've gotten laid
>mostly because oppressive men look for the wrong thing in women
>things like "cleanliness" "health" and "an acceptable weight"
>they just don't realize that everypony's beautiful
>except for them
>lucky you Anon decided to show up and you saw him first!
>there's no way he won't want to make tender consensual love to you and ask for your consent every 11.34 seconds on the dot
>mostly because he's legally obliged to have sex with you
>just one of the few perks of being the underprivileged gender
>you finally arrive at the front gate and walk in
>you quickly find a guard and she redirects you to where your giant green monkey is
>looks like he's surrounded by other stallions, intently listening to what he has to say
>"after you've put the mixture in seal it shut and tape the cloth to the neck of the bottle..."
"Anon! Looks like you're still doing arts and crafts?"
>he turns to you, smiling broadly
>"Yeah! I've been teaching these guys tons of things from my world!"
>teaching?
>you hope he wasn't teaching them problematic things
>like how to read or think for themselves
>you better make sure
"What kinds of things were you teaching them exactly?"
>you see his grin widen
>"Some stuff from my most favorite cookbook, like this!"
>you look over to where he's pointing
>looks like a small box and wires
>what kind of cookbook teaches electronics?
>"Wanna see what it does?"
>sure, why not?
"Go ahead Anon I'd love to see"
?
>be anon
>be grinning as wide as your mouth allows
"Ok Twilight, but remember, you asked for this"
>"what do you mean by-"
>you grab two wires from the box and touche them together
>instantly a large explosion takes place outside
>Twilight springs into action and runs to see what happened
>meanwhile every stallion in the building rushes outside to their positions
>you follow after Twilight to find her staring stock still at the guard barracks with her mouth agape
>it's on fire
>you look around to see the armory being bum-rushed with makeshift spears
>the guard towers are being hit with dozens of molotovs
>Twilight breaks out of her stupor and begins to charge up a spell
>no you don't
>you smack her in the back of the head with a sock filled with nuts
>no, the irony's not lost on you
>you turn back to the blazing fire
>most of the stallions are chanting things you taught them
>"You can't defeat the dick!"
>"down with the ovary oppressors!"
>"some vagina pun!"
>you really should've explained what you meant with the last one
>aw well
>you pull out your pocket edition of The Anarchists Cookbook
>you give it a quick kiss before raising it high in the air in one hand
"Viva la Revolucion!"
>you're met with a roar of approval
>you'll have to teach them what that means later