Title:           The Guide of a God (SFW)(SADISH)
Author:          DeviledText
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/sJJhHJys
First Edit:      Sunday 1st of June 2014 05:54:38 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 1st of June 2014 05:54:38 PM CDT

Oneshot.
 
>You don't know where you are.
>That's the first thing you're aware of
>It doesn't bother you much
>After all, you've woken up in an unfamiliar place more times than you can count
>Opened your eyes inside of Changeling cocoons, strange caves
>A castle that seemed suffocatingly empty without your sister
>You go through your usual checklist, looking for distinctive features to let you know where you are
>You start to worry when you find none
>There wasn't just a lack of distinctive features
>There was a lack of any features
>At all
>All you could see was whiteness
>A seemingly infinite expanse, laid out in front of you
>Your eyes scan the scene
>Surely, there has to be something!
>...Or maybe you are mistaken.
>"Oh. Hello."
>You jump, slightly, at the voice
>Male
>Unfamiliar
>You can hear the clip of your hooves as you turn around
>Like you're stepping on pavement
>Although it certainly doesn't feel like pavement
>It doesn't feel like anything, really
>You catch sight of the source of the voice, and tilt your head in confusion
>He was sort of like a minotaur, but... different
>A much smoother face
>So smooth, in fact, that it lacked eyes, or eyebrows, or, well, any hair at all
>Any distinctive features were totally absent from his face, in fact
>"Well. Hm. This is pretty odd, isn't it, Celestia?"
"How do you know my name?"
>"Well, I'm not... Totally sure yet."
>He seems to examine his body
>Looking up and down the sleeves of the jacket he has on
>Running... whatever the hell he has at the end of his arms over his bald head
>"Hm. I think that you're asking the wrong questions."
"What do you mean?"
>"The real question, Princess, is how you got here."
"Well, I know that, but I can't seem to rem-"
>And then it all comes flooding back
>The escape
>A villain so terrible and powerful that he made Tirek look like a small filly
>And then...
>Then you were talking to Twilight
>And your sister was there
>And Cadence
>And you heard noises, and--
>There wasn't much time, and then-
>The wall broke
>And you saw a bright flash of magic
>And it was heading towards Twilight
>And you...
>You...
>Your heart sinks in your chest as you realize what happened
>You still don't know where you are
>But you can guess why you're here.
>"Oh. Guessing the light bulb went off."
>And you especially don't know why this thing is grinning in front of you
"Why are you here?"
>"Hey, give me a moment, okay? I've been through a lot."
>You find yourself glaring at him
>You rarely glared
>But, honestly, what gave him the right?
"You are not alone in that."
>"Yeah, but I have it a hell of a lot worse."
>You can feel anger rising within yourself
"Worse? I have just died!"
>"Yeah, and I was just fuckin' born! Or-- Created, or whatever. Dying's easy compared to that. Lay off!"
>You tilt your head again, raising an eyebrow
"Just born?"
>"Created. Much better word. Well, maybe not, it's more like... came into being."
"Was my death the cause?"
>"Oh, yeah, definitely."
"Hm."
>You sit down, trying to relax
>The ground beneath you is smooth, and cool
>You can barely feel it under you
>Then again, you are dead
>You really shouldn't feel anything at all.
"So. What are you, exactly?"
>"Human."
"I haven't heard of your people before."
>"I wouldn't expect you to."
"Do you have a name?"
>"Anonymous."
"You do realize that literally means 'nameless,' right?"
>The human in front of you smirks
>You catch a glimpse of brilliant white teeth between his lips
>"That's sort of the point, Princess. I'm not your average Joe, so to speak. Or... maybe it's more proper to say that I am *the* average Joe."
"...I don't follow."
>"You'll have to forgive me."
>He, too, sits now, facing you
>His legs are crossed beneath him
>"You see, I have several hundred people in my head right now. It's taking a bit of getting used to."
>You remain silent, studying the creature
>He still had that grin on his face
>Eventually, he realizes that you have no words to say, and continues
>"You have brought me here, of course. Or, well, maybe they sent me here because of you. I can't really get a clear picture as of yet."
>He scratches himself on his shoulder
>"Sorry about your death, by the way. They're all really upset about that."
"The people in your head?"
>He nods
>You take a moment to consider this, then nod in return
"I... Appreciate the sentiment."
>"I would put flowers on your grave, but, well, your body is currently laying in a corner of the castle with Twilight crying over it. There's no grave to put flowers on."
>The sound of your students name drives a spike through your heart
>You have to know what's happened to her
"Twilight? Is she okay? Is she-"
>The man puts up a hand, indicating that you should stop
>You follow his direction
>"She's fine. The burst of magic that exploded from your body when you died knocked him pretty far back."
"And... What is the final outcome?"
>"Of the entire mess?"
>He shrugs
>"Oh, I don't know that yet. As I said, Twilight's crying over your body. And thinking back on your memories together."
"But... How can you know her inner thoughts, but not the outcome?"
>"It hasn't happened yet."
>Hm.
>So time did exist after you died
>You had always wondered about that
>Not for yourself, of course
>You hadn't expected to die
>It's kind of funny how suddenly it happened, really...
>"As I said, she's thinking back on your memories. And the people in my head are wondering why they're spending so long on this. Some of them, I think, know the truth."
"Know what?"
>"That you're not getting back up."
>He smiles at you again, but sadness is splayed across his face
"I... I don't understand what's going on."
>"Maybe I can make it a bit easier."
>He clears his throat
>"The people who make up me, as an entity, are watching a TV show. Think of a moving storybook. It focuses on Twilight, and it's aimed at people... much younger than they are. So they really didn't expect a death. Especially your death."
"I'm... A story?"
>Your mouth feels dry
>"Well, apparently not, because this is happening. Right now. I'm here with you. So there's another dimension to it."
>You nod
>You can kind of understand that
>"Now, of course, I'm not here for no reason. I believe... Oh, that's interesting."
>He smiles and leans back in the grass
>"There's a bus coming."
"What?"
>You stand up and walk over to him, peering down at his face
>"Yeah. To take you onwards. Us onwards, really."
"Did-- did the people in your head tell you that?"
>"Oh no. I figured that out for myself."
"How?"
>"Just came to me."
>He continues to smile upwards at you
>You can't tell if his eyes are open or closed, since he doesn't really have eyes
>But, even with his lack of features, you can tell that he's absolutely content
"Where do you mean by onwards?"
>"Oh. Well, I have a feeling that everybody's fucking wrong. So if you believe in an afterlife, it's not going to happen."
>You shrug
"I didn't even believe in my own death, until it happened."
>He chuckles
>"Neither did I, Princess."
>You suddenly hear a noise
>A noise like... a motor
>You look off to where it's coming from
>Sure enough, there's a bus
>A large bus
>It quickly reaches where you are, and stops
>The door opens, revealing the driver-less interior.
>"Huh."
>Anonymous stands up, peering inside
>"No driver. Must be an AMD bus."
>He snorts at his own joke, then takes a step inside
>You hesitate, and he turns back to you
>"Well? You coming?"
"I-- I still don't know why you're here."
>"I don't either. For sure, at least. But, if I had to guess, I'd say that I'm supposed to make you happy."
"Happy?"
>"Celestia, you didn't get a day off in your life. You never found love. You rarely had a chance to vacation. You never really were able to do anything for yourself."
>You stare at him, unblinking
>He... Sort of had a point
>"You were still happy, I suppose, but not... Not as happy as you deserved to be. Because you are the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on."
"I'm the only thing you've ever laid eyes on. You came into being when I died, remember?"
>He smirks
>"Kind of. I'm many people, remember? Now, come on."
>He gestures for you to get on the bus
>You take a tentative step forward
"I'm... Not sure about this."
>"Hell, neither am I. But I can guarantee, that, whatever is about to happen to us, it's going to be the best thing that has ever happened to us. And... Maybe the worst."
>He shrugs
>"I don't know what's going to happen. But, hey, as long as you have me you're alright. Now come on."
>He steps fully onto the bus
>You think for a moment
>Think of those you had lost
>Think of the things you wanted to say to your sister
>That you wanted to say to Twilight
>Things you wished you had done
>And...
>You step on the bus
>He's waiting for you, on a comfortable-looking seat
>It's sized for two
>He pats next to him, and you sit down
"What happens now?"
>"Oh, fuck if I know."
>You feel motion
>The bus is starting to move
>"But I promise you, Celestia."
>You turn to look at him
>His face is earnest
>Maybe a bit mischievous, but earnest
>"I am going to make you happy."