Title: In a Flash (WIP) Author: DeviledText Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/JK9Eet1y First Edit: Sunday 28th of September 2014 10:18:55 PM CDT Last Edit: Sunday 28th of September 2014 10:18:55 PM CDT W A R N I N G:   Don't fucking read this. Just-- Don't read it. There's a monster inside me which compels me to write this shit, and I don't want to subject you to it.   YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED   >Regiment Switching day >Not your favorite 24-hour period, to be certain >The opposite, in fact >Watching row after row of guards walk by was the epitome of boring >Of course, this is mandatory as part of your princely duties >So you slouch on your throne and observe the parade from the box >Just as you're about to fall asleep, your wife nudges you >"See that one?" >You shake awake, gazing over the crowd >Who-- >Oh, that one >Blue hair >Orange-ish coat >Sorta gay looking "Yeah?" >"I dated him for a month." >A moment passes in silence "You're kidding." >"Nope." "You?" >"Yep!" >You shake your head "Never mentioned him." >"Well, that's because it's sort of an embarrassing story." "Worse than that time you dated that DJ chick?" >"Yes." >Shit, really? >You sit up, interest rising "How bad?" >"Well. Let's see." >She pretends to think about it >"He mumbled every word on every date and barely kept eye contact. He jumped every time I tried to hold his hoof. Oh, and he never got any hints. I invited him for coffee after a date three times and he didn't realize what I meant. I had to practically drag him into the bedroom." >You arch an eyebrow "Seriously? Testosterone-filled guard like him?" >"Yep. Timid as a fly. Turns out there was a good reason for that." "Yeah?" >"Well, after he came, he started crying." >You burst into laughter >Which you probably shouldn't be doing at this event, considering the formality, but whatever "You're fucking with me." >"Nope. Sobbing like a baby." "Oh my god. Did he have a reason?" >"Yep. Wanna guess?" "He lasted less then twenty seconds?" >"No. He got about forty in. It was much worse." "What, then?" >"He's gay." >You blink "And-- Wait. Why did he-" >"I was the Princess. Felt like he couldn't refuse." "Oh my god." >You're literally going to die >You haven't laughed this hard before >Ever >Seriously, this fucking hurts >You wish you could stop but-- >The fucking image of him just bursting into tears and admitting-- >Oh my god you have to stop thinking about it >"Yeah. Imagine how I felt." "And-- And you- He-- He waited until AFTER you guys fucked to tell you?" >"Yeah. Explained how uncomfortable he looked." "Oh... Oh Christ..." >Well >You can breathe again >So that's good >"But yeah. Totally gay. I reprimanded him for not being honest with me, and he got all- Well, you know the type." >Your wife adopts a fake submissive, shaky voice >"Yes Princess Twilight, I'm sorry Princess Twilight, it won't happen again Princess Twilight" >Fuck >You're laughing again >Seriously, this isn't healthy >Like >This hurts so much >Christ >"And he's literally on the floor, on his knees, wet dick flopping about, as I'm rolling my eyes and just regretting my entire life." >Fuck fuck fuck >You really have to stop >But-- >Oh, shit >You hit the floor with a thudding noise, literally falling out of your chair laughing "Oh... Oh Christ, Twi." >"Yeah. Probably should have noticed it sooner." "Ya think?" >"Oh, shut up." >She lightly kicks you on the shoulder as you continue to destroy your diaphragm "Oh... Oh my good..." >You sigh "Wow." >"Yeah." >You scramble back up onto the chair "Well. Uh- Shit." >No more guards >You missed the rest of the parade >Oh well >Not like you actually cared >Now that that's over, though... >You have to admit >That faggy haircut was sort of- >Eh, fuck it "Uh, Twi?" >"Yeah?" "So, he's like..." >You let your voice trail off >She screws up her face and punches you in the arm >"Oh my Celestia, Anonymous." "Yeah Yeah I know. But-- I mean, you thought it too! You guys dated, right?" >"Yes, but-" >She sighs >"I have no idea how he's going to feel about that." "Oh come on. Remember that grovelling? He's totally a subby little bitch." >Twilight shrugs >"In all likelihood." "So, uh... Is it alright if I--" >Twilight thinks about it for a moment >"Fine. He's in..." >She levitates a clipboard up to eye level >"Barrack 3C, Bunk 19L". "Awesome." >You lick your lips >"Try to be gentle with him." >You give her a look >She smiles >"Only kidding, of course. Fuck him hard for me." "Oh, will do. Think I can go now?" >"You'd better. We having a 'meeting' with Luna tonight." >You kiss your wife on the cheek "Thanks. Love you." >"You too." >She slaps you on the ass with magic >"Now. Go get some!" >Fucking Twilight ____ >Finally >Your bunk in the barracks >That parade was a nightmare. You got out of step twice, and you could swear you heard laughing after you passed Twilight >Probably about the horrible nightmare that was your "relationship" with her >To this day, she was the only woman you've ever had sex with >You still can't believe you let it get that far >Still. Being assigned to her palace again can't be too bad >Lots of good guards in the newly-formed regiment. A few that were the type to be into you in the first place, and others who were "straight" but would probably take a turn when you serviced the troops >Best of all, you're assigned to barrier duty >Keeping track of the borders of the palace grounds, and all >Not only is it an easy job, it's as far away from your ex as possible >This is the good life >You put your pack below the bed, rolling on top of it >Ah >Nice and springy >Perfect for-- well, your favorite activity >You lay there for a solid minute before you realize something's wrong >There's-- Where the hell are the other guards? >The entire section is totally empty >Except you >You begin to sweat >Did you miss an alarm? >Are you supposed to be elsewhere? >Oh, god, this is terrible >You feel panic start to set in as you jump off the bed >"Flash." >You freeze >That-- >You've never heard that voice before >Slowly, you turn around, tail and ears dropping in fear >Oh, gods >This is it >You're dead >Twilight's husband is standing in the door, a wicked grin on his gaunt face >"Let's talk, buddy." >Yeah. >So dead. >You-- >Oh, gods >You fucked his wife >Now this monster is going to murder you >FUCK >You feel your breathing get ragged, and adrenaline floods your body >There's no way you can fight this guy >But, maybe, if you run... >"I reassigned your other bunk-mates temporarily. Hope you don't mind." "N-No sir." >Shit Shit shit >"So my wife was talking about you." >SHIT SHIT SHIT >"And, as I understand it, you're a little faggot bitch." >His grin widens as you feel yourself blush >Oh my god >Fuck you, submission fetish >Not now >"I also understand that you dated her for a while. Seriously, you let her have sex with you? Do you not have a spine?" >You feel more heat rise to your face >"Seriously, what kind of guard are you?" >F-Fuck >Why isn't he hurting you yet >And why is your armor suddenly so t-tight- >"I'll tell you what." >He crosses the distance between you in one stride, placing a firm, strong hand on your back >"Look here. We both know what we want, right?" >You feel yourself nodding >Oh god >You're- >But he's married! How in the hell can he- >"And Twilight's okay with it." >Oh Celestia >Are-- >Is this-- >"So how about you take off that armor and present your fucking sissy ass." >He slaps you on the butt >Hard >It hurts, but only makes your erection stronger >Fuck >With practiced efficiency, you remove your armor >Trembling, you dip your torso and turn around, presenting yourself >"Oh. Fuck yes."