Title:           Cum or Die (Epilogue)
Author:          DeviledText
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/T7aUZKHf
First Edit:      Friday 27th of June 2014 05:19:55 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 27th of June 2014 05:19:55 PM CDT

>"I hate to give an IOU, darling, but I don't actually know what species the children are going to be. So it's quite hard for me to make them clothing."
>"Same here, Twi. And Dash."
>Applejack pours some more punch into her cup, turning around
>"I was gonna make a crib, but I couldn't figure out the measurements. I mean, I've never seen pony-human offspring before in mah life."
>Twilight smiled
>"Nobody has. We're not actually sure what it's going to look like."
>You decide to speak
"Yeah. I'm actually kinda nervous about that."
>Twilight rolls her eyes at you
>"Well, it's obviously a magical process. I'm sure they'll turn out fine."
>And she was sure
>She worried about literally everything else, including whether or not certain foods she was eating were effecting the baby's later taste preferences, but she never worried about physical defect
>You sure did, though
>Maybe they didn't have birth defects in Equestria but humans had millions of them
>You didn't want your kids to be harmed
>Either of them
>Dash nudges you with a wing
>"Big, strong Anonymous, worried 'bout his kids, huh?"
"That's kinda what parents are supposed to do."
>"Look, girls! And Anonymous!"
>Pinkie stands up, trying to diffuse what she perceives as tension
>In reality, it's more like playful banter
>"I know that we were supposed to pass out gifts, but I don't think any of us have any."
>Pinkie looks around the room
>All the ponies in attendance shake their heads
>Including all three of the other Princesses
>And Shining Armor
>You were really scared that he would be pissed at you for knocking up his sister out of wedlock, but he was surprisingly chill with it
>Marriage didn't seem to be as big of a deal here
>"So I think we should move onto the next event..."
>Pinkie jumps forward, coming within a few feet of both Twilight and Rainbow
>"Whatcha gonna name them? Huh?"
>You take the opportunity to answer
"We decided on some combination of a pony name and a human name. We have some ideas, but nothing solid yet."
>Dash nods next to you
>"We wanna wait to see them."
>Pinkie looks disappointed, but quickly bounces back
>"Oh! Now it's time for party games!"
>You spend the next hour sitting through all sorts of weird baby-related games
>This stuff really wasn't your style
>But you couldn't say no when you got invited
>The games end quickly
>"Oh... One last thing!"
>Pinkie's face lights up
>Streamers seem to materialize behind her as she shouts the word "Cake!"
>You had no idea how she did that shit
>Slowly, all the patrons shuffle into Sugar Cube Corner's kitchen, including both mothers
>You're the last to get up
>You're halfway to the door when Celestia stops you with a hoof
>"A word?"
"Uh... Sure."
>You follow her to the opposite corner of the room
>"Anonymous. I just wanted to personally congratulate you."
"Uh... Thanks?"
>"You are, after all, the first father of a royal child in many years. Making you, yourself, a royal."
"Wait, what?"
>You blink a few times as she continues
>"It's tradition. After the prince is born, you yourself shall become a Prince."
"Don't I have to marry somebody to do that?"
>"Fathering a child is enough."
>Luna, who you barely noticed beside her sister, takes a step forward
>"Although, if you do want to get married, I'd be more than happy to preside over the ceremony."
>Celestia rolls her eyes
>"Although that is your choice. You obviously love both of them without a ring."
"Yeah, and I can't officially marry both, so-"
>"Why not?"
>Celestia gives you a puzzled look
>You raise an eyebrow
"What, polygamy is legal here?"
>"Of course! Why wouldn't it be?"
>You smile widely
"Earth's just weird, I guess. Now, let's go get some cake, huh?"
>"That would be... Ideal. Yes."
>The Sun-Princess is salivating openly as she rushes towards the door
>Her and cake, man
>You follow slowly
>You grab a slice and stand at one end of the room
>In front of you, Dash and Twilight talk excitedly about their future motherhood, and their babies
>All their friends are so happy for them
>It's obvious on their face
>You even notice Cadence occasionally giving Shining a look
>Probably trying to entice him into parenthood as well
>Your mares, though...
>Their bellies are just starting to swell up, but, in the grand scheme of things, it isn't going to be long before they're ready to pop
>And, after that, who knows?
>Maybe you'll have more
>One thing is certain, though:
>You have to ask Rarity if she designs jewelry as well as clothing
>Because you needed two rings