Fuckin shit.

 

 

It all happened on a friday night after being dumped on a date with a girl he really loved. She told he that she didn't want to date a person who liked my little pony. Anon was not a brony, he watched my little pony for the intricate plot lines. Students at his school thought he was a brony, they didn't know how ever how easy to break Anon. In his sparetime, Anon made music, he played guitar. He was a good guitarist too, he had been contacted by producers so he could be a stat. Anon however had recently taken one of these off4ers. He was set to get a flight on Sunday the 22nd of 2014 at 6:00 in the morning. He had a date with his girlfriend on Friday the 27th 2014, she dumped him and he knew that he didn't belong in this world.

 

Like Dracula.

 

Anon: What do you mean we are done?

 

I mean, we are done. I can't be dating someone who watches a little kids show. I only watch mature shows for mature viewers like myself.

 

She then leaves the resturaunt.

 

Anon: God damn it, I am fuckin' done with this shit.

 

HE then leaves, gets in his car and drives home. His parents were not home as he lived in their basement, despite being a top class musician with production contracts, he drove into the lawn. He got out and didn't bother unlocking the door, he kicked it down and walked to the garage. He grabbed a ladder and some rope, and climbed to the top of his two story house. He tied one of the ends of the rope around the chimney and made a noose with the other end. The rope was only 5ft long, he then walked to the edge of the roof and pulled his phone out, then proceeding to call 911.

 

Operator: 911, what is your emergency?

 

Hello, I need you to send some officers to 2021 Hawaii avenue.

 

Operator: What is the nature of your emergency?

 

I am about to kill myself.

 

Operator: Do it faggot.

 

He then jumped off the roof, the 5ft rope snapped his neck killing him instantly. He then opened his eyes and he was in a white room.

 

What the fuck?

 

"Hello there Anon."

 

He turns around to see a white man with a white beard. He puts his hand on Anon's shoulder.

 

A-are you Santa?

 

"No, I am God."

 

Where am I?

 

"You are currently in purgatory, we have some things we need to talk about."

 

Why am I here?

 

"Well, you commited suicide like a faggot and we don't let them into Heaven and they don't want you in Hell. You must spin the wheel and go to the place it lands on."

 

What wheel?

 

"When you bust the deal, you must face the wheel."

 

All of a sudden a wheel with tones of names appear.

 

"Now spin it, faggot."

 

Anon does as he is told, the wheel spinning until it stopped, the name "Equerstria."

 

So now I have to go to Equestria?

 

"Yes, me speed Anon."

 

 

----

 

- Sweet apple acres -

 

All of a sudden something crashded into the barn. Applejack ran to as fast as hooves could carry her, she opned the door to see a white cold with dark blue hair and a guitar on his flank.

 

Applejack: "What the fuck."

 

Anon then woke up to see an orange mare with blong hair , and three apples on her left flank looking down at him.

 

"Are you alright there?"

 

Yea, where am I?

 

"Well, the one and only Sweet Apple Acres.

 

What is your name?

 

"My name is Applejack."

 

She then starts shaking his hove

 

"So, who do I blame for breaking the roof of my barn?"

 

Anon thinks to himself: 'Shit I need a name, Anon doesn't sound like a name for a colt.'

 

Um, Cordscratch.

 

"Cordcratch? Sounds like your parents hated you, not an honest name like Anon, anyway Cordie, what is your talent?

 

I play guitar.

 

"Thats nice, I will have to introduce you to my friends. But first lets get my barn cleaned up first.

 

After Anon cleaned up the barn, heedless of his broken bones, Applejack led him to town.

 

"So, where ya from?"

 

I am from Mane-Washington DC

 

"Wow, never heard of it, probably a city, what is it like in the city as I have never been to one in my life."

 

It's ok I guess. About everyone is rude, no 'sorries' or 'excusies mes'. People bump into you and to many, er ponies.

 

"wow, thats no different from here then."

 

They finally got to town and they first ran into Pinkie Pie of ponies.

 

Pinkie pie: Who is your friend Applejack, he looks injured.

 

"Yes, his name is, hehe, Cordscratch."

 

Hi I am-

 

"Cordscratch?! What kind of name is that!?!"

 

She then pulls out a bowl of salad and starts eating them.

 

"Hi I'm pinkie pie and you're a faggot aren't you, well for new faggots in town I like to throw parties and since you have such a terrible name you probably need one."

 

Actually, there is no need for a party, I like my name and-

 

Pinkie starts to tear up, overwhelmed by the brave face Cordscratch was putting on.

 

I-I mean, I would be very happy if you threw a party for me.

 

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, SEE YOU THEN, MORTAL."

 

She then runs off.

 

I take it she likes parties?

 

"In a nutshell, yes."

 

So, who are going to meet?

 

"Well, there is Princess Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Ratity. Who first?"

 

Let's meet Rarity.

 

"Alright, her house is over their."

 

They walk to the house and knock on the door.

 

Rarity: "Who is it?"

 

"It's Applejack."

 

"I'm very busy, go away."

 

As the day went on they meet Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash.

 

"And finally this is the tree where Princess Twilight lives."

 

Applejack knocks on the door, Princess Twilight opens it.

 

Twilight: "Hey Applejack, who is your friend?"

 

"This is Cordscratch."

 

"Hello, I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, nice to meet you.

 

Nice to meet you too.

 

"Where did you come from?"

 

This is why I talked you last, I need you two and your other four friends to met me with Princess Celestia.

 

"This seems competly legit, so lets do this shit."

 

They all meet at the castle. They go inside and the Princess greets them.

 

Princess Celestia: "Hello Princess Twilight, how ar- who is your new boytoy?"

 

Hello, my name is, is not Cordscratch.

 

"What do you mean, you lied to me, the element of honesty?"

 

Yes, I did. I am not of this world.