Title:           The Legend of Dusk Bliss - Prelude
Author:          DerpeDarp
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/EHpS2hJX
First Edit:      Saturday 19th of September 2015 11:41:17 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Monday 21st of September 2015 06:39:27 PM CDT

The Legend of Dusk Bliss
by DerpeDarp
 
>You be anon
>miserable life
>miserable job
>parents were dead a long time ago
>you're the local Forever Alone guy
>watches that miserable show that they call "My Little Pony"
>visit Derpiboo and /mlp/ a lot
>those are pretty self explanatory
>you boast all four consoles from 7th/8th gen gaming
>as well as three Alienware desktops, and four desktops that you built yourself
>your game collection fills up two whole 6'x6' bookshelves
>movie collection fills three
>book collection fills six
>they're all in your basement.
>yet you spend your time lurking /mlp/ and jacking off to r34 on Derpiboo.
>what a life
>One day
>lurking one of your usual /mlp/ threads
>it's Flutterrape
>some newfag is gonna get himself banned
"What's this?"
>newfag is spewing a bunch of shit about how they discovered some secret "anthro sex dimension"
>top kek
>sit and watch
>he states some things that might actually be true
>"Normally, you would only be able to get there through a black hole, but I've found another way"
>then comes the bullshit
>"You set up a ritual, with three horse dildos, a silver necklace, and six burning candles"
>wow. Newfag is asking to get banned.
>"Place the candles in a cirle, then place the dildos upright in a triangle formation, in the center of the circle."
>he keeps going
>"Loop the silver necklace around the dildos, then jizz in the middle."
>this
>"Wait three minutes, dick dripping, and you should be teleported into the dimension."
>it stops
>newfag was probably banned.
>you go back to AiE
 
>it's almost midnight
>extremely bored, nothing is happening.
>you don't have work again until the day after, so you have time to waste
>think about newfag's instructions
>shrug
>couldn't hurt
>you have two out of three things necessary for this joke
>just need horse dildos
>luckily, next door neighbor gets a order that wasn't for him
>drops it on your doorstep
>you open it
>four horse dildos
>you throw one away, and then take the other three into your creepy old basement.
>set up the shit
>now to jack off.
>you uncomfortably whip your dick out and pull up a random thing on your phone
>it's enough
>wait three minutes
>dick is freezing, need to go upstairs
>nothing happens.
>good thing you don't ever get visitors
>walk upstairs to clean up
>then you feel like you are being shredded and put back together.