Short story for funs

​Life is a fickle thing as it is subject to the chaos and dangers of everything and anything, while everything does have its own unique and special story,we shall be looking into the life of one of certain being hailing from the race called humanity on their home planet of earth in a little unnamed solar system in the greater galaxy of the milky way. Our tale begins with a man named Boris, now while that name entails a rather large brute of a man with the intelligence of a peanut, you would be correct in your assumption. Now Boris is a man of simple tastes as he refers to himself in the third person and he has a substantial appetite for goat cheese, which he gets from his pet two headed goat named Hillda. Hillda earned her named when Boris had found her when he was wandering the countryside of his homeland where he saw her on a rather rocky hill and he had to climb to gather the mutated goat when after he had retrieved her, Boris was accosted! “What on earth are you doing with the two headed goat, you big headed oaf!” The mysterious rhyme speaking englishman was rather curious on why a giant of man was holding a two headed goat on top of a mountain. But curiosity would drive the wandering man of Britain to ask the question that would change the both of their lives. “What is your name you blithering knave?” Boris regarded the man with a blank face and a line of drool from his his mouth to the ground until a massive hand wiped the drool and Boris spoke with a deep rumbling voice. “Boris saw goat on rock hill, Boris thought he grab goat and make  goat cheese for Boris, Boris no expect tiny funny speaking man here.” After his explanation on the reason why Boris was there the tiny British man had decided to bombard Boris with a great multitude of questions from the seemingly mundane to the most deep and impacting of philosophies until the questionings eventually returned to the matter at their hands. “What is that goats name?”  This was not a question that Boris had expected to be asked as he hadn’t given the matter much thought, even though he could barely string together a coherent thought. “Well? What in the bloody hell is the goats name, or did you claim this goat in vain?” Boris was now becoming nervous as he actually had to think of a name for the two headed goat that he had recently acquired from the top of a mountain range he considered a hill. “Found goat on hill so name her hill.” The insult spewing man had deadpanned as he asked. “Really?” The giant answered with “da” and that was how a mutated goat had brought together two unlikely friends as Boris joined with the adventuring Britbong known as Sir Clever Richard, otherwise known as Clever Dick. It had been several years since these two mismatched miscreants had met and they’ve had a great multitude of adventures together that always ended up saving the world, either it being stopping a secret society from bringing armageddon or Boris simply wandering into the wrong place at the wrong time as he was always misplacing Hillda and constantly searching for her to either cuddle with her for the night or simply milking and making cheese.

 

Our tale now actually begins with Boris searching for his two headed goat in the streets of an alien world where Hillda was created, how Boris got there is beyond me as i’m a simple writer, neverminding that last bit there. Boris was abducted as well for the copious amounts of milk and cheese he consumed  had a unique side effect of giving him alternated D.N.A whereas the drone that received the goat had mistaken Boris for its offspring, which in truth wouldn’t be that far as Boris followed the animal around like a child with its parent and the goat provided sustenance for Boris. The sheer beauty, magnificence, and prosperity of this alien world was being ignored as the moving pillar of flesh and stench moved ever onward as he would often stop every now and then to sniff about for the scent of the odd goat. When he would gain the scent again he would slowly march in the direction of the scent until losing it again and yet again Boris would stop until the scent had reached his cavernous nostrils. Boris had walked on for awhile when the giant burlap sack that Boris had hitched over his shoulder had started to move and the lone occupant had rather angrily woken up. “Stop this nonrest walk or else I shall give your high crest head a pop!” Boris was only slightly alarmed that the tiny man had drifted asleep in the sack but apart from that nothing could get past Boris, except the fact that he walked on an alien world in search of a mutant two headed goat for the sole purposes of sustenance and to cuddle. Boris slowly put the sack down to allow the miniscule man to crawl out and as soon as Richard had done so he looked to Boris with an unreadable expression. “Boris, why aren’t we at the florists anymore?” The large man simply shrugged his massive shoulders. “Boris saw light carry Hillda away, Boris follow light and he remember rant from you explaining to Boris that next time Boris go wandering to carry you. You did not specify so Boris simply put you in sack with clothes and follow light.”  The tiny British mans face is expressionless as Boris relays the tale of their shenanigan filled journey. "...We still have our lives yet from here we won't be able to see either of our wives." Boris looked confused as both him and the Englishman never had the time to court women let alone marry one but that didn't prevent Sir Clever from attempting to court women in his spare time between and during the adventures that both men had endured. "Boris curious on how you have had time to be married yet still aid Boris in his adventures?"