Blake Belladonna; Ninja of Love. Chapter 1

“...In the secret ninja city with no name, a secret ninja meeting was taking place. The Secret Ninja Council of Secret Ninjas Operating Secretly had convened to discuss secrets, and also probably ninjas. But far above them, attached to the ceiling of the secret ninja assembly hall via a creative use of grappling hooks, an even more clandestine meeting was taking place.

Toshi Rukugere and Akana Tyabunu, both the last living members of their respective ninja clans, were making hot, steamy and completely inaudible love on the ceiling. Akana had spent the last 8 months hunting down Toshi for murdering the rest of her clan (and to a lesser degree, for murdering the rest of his clan and several other clans.) It had been fraught with peril, bur Akana always got her prey; and then sometimes she slept with her prey, but not always.

‘OH Toshi!’ Akana sensually moaned in a secret ninja sign language. ‘Your dick is so stealthy, I want to be unaware of you cumming inside of me!’

‘HA HA! YOU FOOL!’ Toshi shot back ‘I already came inside you back when we first encountered each other’

‘You couldn’t possibly mean...’

‘That’s right, when we briefly made eye contact at the Dokudiwa Theatre. Even then I had already mastered my Whispering Ejaculation technique. Now you are 6 months pregnant with my child, and you were none the wiser. You didn’t feel a thing’ Toshi boasted.

‘HA HA! You are the one who is truly the fool! I knew of your plan the entire time. I only pretended not to know to lull you into a false sense of security. I’ve already given birth prematurely through a forbidden technique, and since then I’ve been training our son.’

‘Training him? For what?’

‘To kill you!’ Akana laughed maniacally with her fingers as a blade was thrust into Toshi’s heart from behind, the knife being held by none other than Soki Tyabunu.

‘My son... Why?’

‘I’m sorry father,’ Soki whispered into Toshi’s ear with sign language, twisting the blade ‘But you must pay for what you did to my mother, and to both of my clans, and also what you are currently doing to my mother.’ As the sun rose over the city, Toshi breathed his final breath and thrusted his final thrust. But Soki’s quest had only just begun. The path to becoming the Grand High Ninja Pope would not be without it’s perils, but Soki could not live without avenging his father’s death.

The story continues in the next installation: Ninjas of Love 2: The Stabbening of our Lives.”

Blake sighed and fell back onto her pillow as she finished the book. She always felt a little sad about the reaching the end of the book, but this pained was eased by rereading at least once a week. She considered herself both a collector and a connoisseur of high literature, and she considered to original Ninjas of Love to easily be the best volume in the 14 part series, if not best book she’s ever read. It even managed to beat “Huntress and Grim: A tale of Forbidden Love” and “The Pain and Pleasure of Dust”.

“HEY BLAKE! Watcha reading there?” Yang shouted as she popped up from her bunk below, abruptly shattering Blake’s lewd reverie as she desperately tried to hide the book. Ruby and Weiss glanced over to see what all the commotion was

“Oh. Uh, you mean this? It’s just, um... It’s just Karl Barx’s Faunus Manifesto. Real boring stuff, politics and all that. You wouldn’t really be interested.” Blake stammered as everyone’s eyes fell on her.

“Oh, okay then” Yang said, as Ruby and Weiss turned away and went back to having character development. But Blake could tell Yang was actually convinced, not with that sly smirk she wore as she dropped back down to her bunk. Yang knew, she always knew when it came to these things. Blake cursed society for making it shameful to appreciate TRUE romantic literature; it was EXACTLY like how humans oppressed Faunus, and just as terrible.

The room almost had time to calm down before a knock at the door broke the silence, although Blake was welcome for anything that made everyone forget they were looking at her.

“Ruby, could you please get that?” Blake asked. After all that was probably in a leader’s job description or something, right?

“I’m not going to open the door unless Weiss politely asks me to” Ruby whined, acting much brattier than usual. Sometimes Blake really didn’t like having a kid like her on their te-

“Well I’M not going to ask unless RUBY apologises for a certain incident in class today!” Weiss shot back from her bunk. “Ah.” Blake thought to herself “that explained things. It was one of THOSE nights”

“Oh my GOD you two! Just fuck already” Yang shouted from across the room for the 9th time that week. It was no longer a friendly jab to her, just a matter of routine. Blake opted to get the door herself as the other began squabbling. She opened the door to find Jaune Arc patiently waiting there.

“Good evening Jaune, how can I help you”

“Oh hey Blake; I’ve kinda, uh, lost my bag... again, and it had all my books in it. I was wondering if I could borrow the Textbooks I’ll need for Professor Jubilee’s assignment?

“Why couldn’t your team lend you theirs?”

“This isn’t the first time this has happened, and Pyrrha think if she keeps helping me I’ll never learn so she said I’m on my own. Ren destroys every book that he’s finished with for some reason, and Nora can’t read.”

“Wait, Nora can’t... Oh never mind. Hang on a moment; I’ll go get the books.” Blake walked over to her bookcase and started throwing pertinent textbooks into a pile on her desk, mumbling to herself as she worked. “Basic Botany, you’ll need that. Advanced Ignition Techniques in regard to Dust, need that. Alternate States of mind and their effects on Aura, essential. Character development for dummies; Well, YOU sure don’t need that Jaune.” Blake muttered as she looked back over at Yang. Once she completed her search she gathered up the pile and carried it back to the door, dumping them into Jaune’s arms.

“There you go, that should get you through the essays”

“Thank you so much Blake, I won’t forget this.” Jaune yelled over his shoulder as he walked back into his dorm. Blake sighed as she closed the door, between Jaune’s visit and her team still arguing, Blake had far too much social interaction tonight. Maybe she should reread Ninjas of Love again, that always relaxed her. It should just be lying on her bed where she lef-

Blake froze as she looked at her empty bed, and came to a sudden realisation. No, it WAS on her bed. Now it was in the pile of books... With Jaune

“Oh shit”