Rapture Noir : Plasmid Blues

        I wake up covered in sweat. I get out of the bed and look at the clock with bleary eyes. Its five. Most of Rapture still slept when I shuffled out of the bed and made my way over to the bathroom. The face in the mirror brings me little comfort - red eyes, deep dark circles underneath and ashen skin. Water brings little more relief as I wash the night away. But the mess in the head remains.

 

        As I make my coffee I stare at the untouched EVE hypo on my desk. I decided to take it easy on the stuff - I'm not exactly made of money and splicing stopped being funny when the shakes started. I can stand all manner of feeling ill, but not the crap I keep seeing. Coffee puts me on my feet, helps in keeping a steady hand. The morning haze dissipates.

 

        I haven't seen Elizabeth in a while now, maybe thats why I can't stop thinking about her. But the stuff I keep dreaming about ain't no lovesick dream. Ever since the bank, I keep seeing that bearded guy and Elizabeth strapped to an operating table. I got no detail of either though, everything is always blurry. I can't get to her, no matter what. Then I lose my footing and I fall. I fall for a long time, from the very sky to the bottom of the ocean. I drown and I wake up covered in sweat. Sometimes plasmids act up too and I wake up shivering or with scorched sheets. And I can't even bring myself to think about Abby. Every time I do I'm getting a terrible thirst because I know it won't go away until I drown those thoughts in something.

 

        I put on my clothes and then add the coat and the hat I got from Rock. I took to wearing those things as I kept diving into the underbelly to fish for information or to sort out stuff. I told Sullivan not to bother me anymore, I was getting tired of running errands for Ryan and the last job furnished me with enough cash to hold it out, if I didn't spend it all on EVE and booze. Not that I had a choice, I half-expected something to be dropped at my door every morning, with new problem to solve. I had enough of the bloody king of Rapture as I saw his self-righteous face in front of my office every time I opened my door.  

 

        "No gods or kings, Only Man." A reminder of what I am, every day. Of what I should be. Or at least I hope I still am, after all that splicing and urge to simply drink myself senseless. My feet take me in direction of Rapture Metro. I don't even think of where I'm going, staring blankly at the polished walls and oblivious people. For all the talk about Atlas, the city is still tranquil. Calm before the storm, one could say.

 

"I believe in no God, no invisible man in the sky. But there is something more powerful than each of us..."

        His voice is ever-present too.

 

        As I look out of the window of a diner at the city around me, I think about the time  we have left. I munch on my meal absent-minded. Under a month now, clock was ticking and for some reason I couldn't get my shit together.  Running away was always the easiest thing to do. Abigail was still somewhere out there, and I hadn't the faintest clue where she was. I was stuck between running errands, calming my nerves and fighting off headaches and convulsions.

 

        Before I know it I'm standing in the hall of Metro station in Fort Frolic. The clock showed afternoon. What the hell was I doing there? Art and shows were the last things on my mind. I would end up going to one of them, no doubt, with Abby convincing me and wanting to dress up all fancy. That is, if I was normal, I thought bitterly. As I wander around seemingly without a goal, I make my way to Poseidon Plaza. But I didn't go to Pharaoh's Fortune. I would end up thinking about Elizabeth or Abigail in there and I didn't need that. I just wanted a drink.

        'Sir Prize, Games of Chance' was where I ended up. I threw a wad of cash at the counter and received a stack of chips and a glass of scotch. It was time to test my luck and see if I could make it go up or if the fortune would piss on me again.

        I joined one of the tables and set my chips in front of me. Croupier and the other players greeted me with with a nod and we begun the game. Stacks moved, cards were dealt and I lost myself in the game.

       

        My luck held up for a while before I felt a tug. Someone was pulling on my clothes from below.

        "Daaad, I'm bored. I wanna go home!"

        I look down and I see her. "Just a moment Sal, Dad's got a lucky streak."

        "Come on dad, you come here all the time," she tugs at me some more.

        "Now Sally, thats not true, we are here the first..."

My girl is gone. The croupier looks at me strangely and the game stops. "Where is my daughter? Where is Sally?"

        I get up, my hands shake. Chips scatter all around me. Jesus Christ, I lost her. Abigail will kill me if she finds out where I lost her.

        "Sally? Sal!" I run between tables and slot machines in my frantic search.

        "Hey mister, are you ok?" someone calls out. I don't have time for it, I lost Sally!

I feel someone touching me on the shoulder. I see a man, one of the patrons of the locale. I grab him by his coattails. "Where is my daughter!?" All I get out of him is a blank stare and scared eyes.

 

        Now a circle of people surrounds me. I feel two big hands grabbing me from behind. "Sir, you seem unwell. you are scaring other patrons."

        I'm face to face with two bouncers and a man from behind the counter. I feel nauseous as they hold me.

        "Where is Sally? My g-girl, where is she?"

        "There are no children in here," the cashier replied. My nausea was getting worse and suddenly the room spins. I tear myself from their grasp only to stumble backwards and turn around towards the exit.

 

        I get out and I hold onto the wall. My jitters are getting worse as I try not to hurl. There is no Sally goddammit, this is all pink elephants. I try to move forward while holding onto a wall. My breakfast is in my throat now as I stumble in search of a vending machine.

 

"A man has a choice, I chose the impossible. I built a city where the artists would not fear..."

 

        More fucking Ryan, his words ringing in my ears as he spouted his ideals though the PA. Give a man a little power and he falls in all kinds of love with himself. But that wasn't on my mind, but rather the distant call of the vending machine. I have to stop as I feel my stomach contract and I vomit on the pavement, with few disgusted looks thrown at me as people pass by. I continue my crawl toward the vending clown.

 

...the censor, where the great would not be constrained by the small, where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality."

 

I hear the vending machine just around the corner, I am close. I gather myself up, clench my teeth and set out for a fast walk towards it. I see it and rush towards it, banging with my fits on it as I get to the dispenser.

 

"Fill your cravings at the Circus of Values!"

 

        I fumble in my pockets for money. I'm dry. All of my cash and chips were left behind in Sir Prize. I bang on the machine again and scream in frustration. The machine mocks me, as I hear that irritating clown cackle. I dig in my pockets again and come up with some change. I stuff them into the slot with trembling hands and then press the button with the blue apple on it.

 

"I chose to build Rapture. But my city was betrayed by the weak. So I ask you my friend..."

 

        The mechanism turns and the vending machine spits out the hypo. I grab it and stare at it for a moment. Then I roll up my sleeve and expose my wrist. It has few holes already.

 

...if you live with pride, would you kill the innocent? Would you sacrifice your humanity?"

 

        I prep the hypo and press the needle close to my vein. But I can't push it in. I'm feeling awful and still dizzy, but I hold out, as if waiting for some reassurance, a sign.

 

"We all make choices, but in the end, our choices make us. For a man chooses, and a slave obeys."

 

        I yell in frustration and fling the hypo at the wall. It shatters and the bits of of it mix with the pool of blue glowing liquid on the floor. Soon next to it I can see the remnants of my breakfast as my innards contort and twist. I'm too weak to move and slump next to the vending machine. I curl up and close my eyes. This was my first time I got the Blues. Its my first time without the hypo too.