- >You are Scootaloo
- >And you don't need those two stupid heads, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, to find your cutie mark!
- >Nope!
- >Not at all!
- >Which is why you are currently riding your namesake out of Ponyville, to Canterlot
- >There's gotta be plenty more opportunities to discover your true talent there
- >Not nearly as many as boring old Ponyville
- >You set off at mid day, after those two dimwads screwed up your brilliant plan
- >And you don't look back
- >You even practice a few tricks you dreamed up on your scooter
- >Tricks that don't go entirely unnoticed....
- >The sun pulls you from sleep with its shining glare
- >It seems somehow... brighter today than yesterday
- >You unzip your sleeping bag and crawl out
- >You finally open your eyes
- >To a technicolor nightmare
- >The world almost hurts to look at
- >This definitely isn't the campground you went to sleep in last night
- >Oh shit
- >If you've been moved, it might be gone!
- >You stand up and whirl around
- >Phew
- >Still there
- >Your Harley stands behind you, resting on its kickstand just like you left it
- >You sigh in relief and begin wrapping up your sleeping bag
- >Placing it in your saddle bags, you withdraw a canteen and a few energy bars
- >You had originally intended to have breakfast at the diner in town
- >But town is nowhere in sight
- >As you Chow down on the energy bars, something draws your eye
- >The ground under your feet isn't nearly as vivid as the rest of the landscape
- >In fact, it looks like the same dirt you went to sleep on 8 hours ago
- >Your eyes travel across the ground, eventually finding a split
- >The ground goes from drab dirt to vivid green grass
- >The divide makes a perfect circle around your and your bike
- >Damn
- >That is some wierd ass shit right there
- >But the day ain't getting any younger
- >And you need to find a town
- >Those were your last energy bars
- >In the distance, you spy what looks like a road
- >A dirt road
- >At this point, you'll take anything you can get
- >You don your riding gear and fire up your bike
- >The low rumbling is music to your ears
- >You idle across the field you're in and to the road
- >You turn right and accelerate
- >You are Scootaloo
- >And maybe leaving town today wasn't such a good idea...
- >The barks and yips have been following you for awhile now
- >Ever since you went through that section of the Everfree Forest
- >You look behind you, and your fears are confirmed
- >Following you are three timber wolves
- >They had been trying to sneak
- >But now they sense your awareness of their presence
- >And pick up the pace
- >You accordingly flap your wings and accelerate
- >No turning around now
- >You've been Running? Scootering? from these wolves for awhile now
- >...Maybe leaving Ponyville wasn't such a good idea
- >your wings are starting to get really tired
- >But you can't give up
- >You're not going to be some stupid wolf's dinner!
- >The stupid wolves are getting closer though...
- >Up ahead, you can see a dust trail approaching
- >Maybe it's somep0ny that can help!
- >You start yelling for help
- >As the dust cloud gets closer you can hear a strange roaring sound
- >Your spirits drop
- >It's just another monster
- >Not like any monster you've ever seen before
- >But definitely a monster
- >It rides along on a pair of wheels
- >And stares at you with an unblinking yellow eye, flanked by two silver stripes
- >A large, irregularly shaped black lump above the eye completes the ensamble
- >You gasp in awe as the monster roars right past you
- >And lose control of your scooter
- >"OOOOOOOOOOOH BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK"
- >As you start to tumble, you find yourself looking at the bright side
- >That monster was pretty scary
- >It could probably take care of those wolves
- >Now you had to figure out how to keep it from eating you...
- >Your head smashes into the ground, and everything goes black
- >You are riding down the road on your glorious Harley
- >This is what you live for
- >When you notice a cloud of dust approaching you
- >This is good
- >It means there are people out here
- >Which, in turn, means there has to be some form of civilization around
- >As you approach the cloud, you squint
- >That's no car
- >Or a bike
- >or even a person
- >What you see nearly melts your obsidian heart
- >A tiny orange horse... thing is riding towards you on a scooter
- >Its wings
- >Wait
- >Wings?
- >What the fuck
- >Beat furiously, driving it forward
- >50 yards behind it run three enormous wolves
- >You consider just riding past...
- >But you can't
- >You won't
- >YOur standards may be low
- >But you have them
- >And riding past a screaming child about to be eaten by wolves
- >Well, that just doesn't stand
- >You pull your bat out of your saddle bags and get ready to swing
- >You saw Wild Kelly do this once with a Doberman
- >But these aren't Dobermans
- >Same principle
- >The bat connects with the head of the wolf closest to you with a sickening crunch
- >It's not getting up anytime soon
- >The other two wolves overshoot, giving you time to dismount
- >As you watch, they both charge at you
- >You duck under the first one's leap
- >Then step back and swing at the second
- >BATTER UP!
- >CRACK
- >You're pretty sure that was the thing's neck
- >Its momentum carries it onwards
- >Taking your bat with it
- >Fuck
- >Now the real fun starts
- >The last one turns around and jumps at you again
- >It hits you this time, knocking you over
- >The legs dig and scrape, but your leather jacket keeps the claws out
- >As it snarls and snaps at you, a lightbulb goes off
- >You shove your hands inside of its mouth
- >Its eyes widen and it gags in surprise
- >Seizing the top jaw with one hand, you grab the bottom with the other and yank
- >The jaw dislocates
- >The wolf immediately gets off of you and runs off whining
- >You get up and look for the tiny horse thing
- >Its scooter seems to be fine
- >But the horse thing itself is unconsious
- >Lucky it was wearing a helmet
- >Whaaaaaaaaaaat
- >You are Scootaloo
- >And your head hurts like no tomorrow
- >You groan and open your eyes
- >Standing in front of you is the black lump off the monster
- >it towers over you
- >It has two legs
- >IT'S STANDING ON TWO LEGS
- >The top half is mostly black, and the bottom half is blue
- >the other two legs stick out on either side of the torso, a little below the head
- >They end in these wierd stumps with smaller sticks off of them
- >As you watch, it waves one of it's upper legs at you
- Hey kid, are you alright?
- >It just talked to you
- >"No"
- How many fingers am I holding up?
- >It waves two of the sticks at you
- >"Those are fingers?"
- >It looks at them
- Oh. Right. Yeah, they are.
- >"Two then"
- >The horse thing
- >The TALKING horse thing
- >stares at you like you're...
- >Not a tiny horse thing
- >Makes sense, you suppose
- >As much as anything can makes sense in this place
- Kid, what the fuck are you supposed to be?
- >"I'm a pony! What the buck are you supposed to be?"
- I'm a human
- >"Well you scared the hay out of me!"
- >Oh for the love of...
- >You turn around and walk away
- >Just walk away
- >It doesn't bear getting pissed off at a child
- >You walk over to the wolves and pick up your bat
- >You return to your motorcycle and start putting it back in the saddlebag so you can draw it quickly if you need to
- >"Thanks"
- >You turn look over your shoulder
- What?
- >"For saving me from those wolves"
- >You walk back over to the pony
- >It has re gained its hooves by now and stands looking up at you
- >Still looks a bit shakey though
- Look, we got off to a bad start before. My name is Anonymous, what's yours?
- >"I'm Scootaloo"
- So, Scootaloo, can you tell me what this place is?
- >"What?"
- Where am I?
- >She looks at you like you've grown a dick on your forehead
- >"You're in Equestria"
- >Oh shit son
- >You mcfucked up
- >Equestria?
- >Doesn't that have something to do with horses?
- >Scootaloo notices the look on your face
- >"...You aren't from around here, are you?"
- No. No I am not
- >Right now, you need some booze
- >You also need food and water, a place to sleep
- >And gas and oil for your motorcycle, eventually
- >But right now you really need a drink
- >Which dictates your next question
- Scootaloo, where is the nearest town?
- >"That's Ponyville"
- >Ponyville
- >Wonderful
- >What other surprises await you in this vibrant new land
- >"It's that way"
- >She points her hoof down the road, in the direction you were headed
- Well Scootaloo
- >You grin
- Would you like a ride?
- >"Sure, I would love a ride"
- >She starts to walk towards you, but stumbles
- >YOu catch her before she can fall
- Woah, easy now
- >Despite her protests, you carry her over to your motorcycle
- >You don't have an extra helmet for her
- >Luckily, she's got her own
- >What she does need is a pair of goggles, which you can provide
- >At the sight of the tiny filly in helmet and goggles, something happens that hasn't in a long, long time
- >Deep inside your chest, you feel your heart thaw out
- >D'aaaawwwww
- >You are Scootaloo
- >And today is lookng up
- >Anonymous has been kind enough to offer you a ride on his...
- >"What is that... thing, anyway?"
- >He looks offended, and puts a hand on the monster affectionately
- This is my pride and joy
- It's my motorcycle
- >His motorcycle
- >This could be interesting
- >As you watch, he takes some stretchy rope out of the saddlebags and ties your scooter to a rack on the back
- >Then he folds down a pair of pegs
- You put your... back hooves on these
- >He elaborates
- >He goes on to explain the essentials of being a good motorcycle passenger
- >Sit upright
- >Lean with him on turns
- >Don't rock or sway back and forth
- >Keep your... front legs wrapped around his torso at all times
- >Having finished his instructions, he picks up a strange looking helmet and puts it on
- >he puts a leg over the motorcycle and sits down on it
- Well what are you waiting for... Hop on!
- >He has to help you get up and over the somewhat higher rear seat
- >Once that's done, he turns a key and presses a few buttons
- >With a final button press and a flourish, the motorcycle roars to life
- >But it isn't like before
- >More like a purr than a roar
- >He pulls a lever, does something with his left leg you can't see, and slowly releases the first lever
- >As he plays the levers, the motorcycle rapidly picks up speed as the familiar roaring returns
- >You rest your head on his shoulder and scan ahead
- >This was fast
- >Really fast
- >Way faster than you've ever gone on your scooter
- >You're glad you're wearing the goggles he gave you
- >This must be what it's like for Rainbow Dash when she goes fast!
Pastebin launched a little side project called HostCabi.net, check it out ;-)Don't like ads? PRO users don't see any ads ;-)
Motorcycle Anon in equestria (oneshot, maybe)
Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)
create a new version of this paste
RAW Paste Data