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AlaskanAnon in equestria ch. 4

By: CuriousAnon on Aug 24th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 13.96 KB  |  hits: 395  |  expires: Never
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  1. >A dull glow smashes into your eyelids like a freight train
  2. >Dragging you kicking and screaming from unconsciousness
  3. >You crack your eyes open
  4. >And immediately shut them
  5. >From the brief glimpse you got, the source of your torment is an unshaded window
  6. >There was something you had to do today
  7. >Something important
  8. >What it is you have no idea, but maybe after you get up it'll come to you
  9. >You yawn and stretch your arms out
  10. >At least the bed feels good, if a bit short
  11. >The sheets are nice and soft
  12. >And so is the warm, furry body lying in the curve of your own
  13. >You wrap your arms back around it, and it sighs happily
  14. >Then it nuzzles your hand
  15. >Spooning with a p0ny...
  16. >Wait a minute
  17. >Something isn't right here
  18. >Aren't you staying at AppleJack's?
  19. >Suddenly, everything comes back to you
  20. >your arrival in this place
  21. >The acquisition of a new job
  22. >And some of the party last night
  23. >Well, almost everything
  24. >The take away is that you just woke up in an unfamiliar bed
  25. >In your boxers
  26. >You are sharing the bed with a mystery p0ny
  27. >You have no memory of getting into the bed last night
  28. >Jesus christ on a wafer thin cracker
  29. >Anything could have happened
  30. >Anything
  31. >This is all too much
  32. >You leap up from the bed
  33. >WHAM
  34. >And swiftly knock your head on the ceiling
  35. >Right, p0ny architecture is designed with p0nies in mind
  36. >You sit down on the floor and cradle your aching head
  37.  
  38.  
  39. >All the noise has woken the p0ny in the bed
  40. >It coughs and rises from the sheets...
  41. >It's Pinkie Pie
  42. >You're not sure whether to relieved or terrified by this
  43. >She's facing the headboard
  44. >And doesn't see you immediately
  45. >She goes through a stretching routine of her own
  46. >Pops her neck
  47. >Then turns around
  48. >"Hi Anonymous!  Did you sleep well?"
  49. >You open your mouth
  50. >And release a dry croak
  51. rrrrrruuuuuuugggghhhh
  52. >Your throat is as parched as the Mojave Desert
  53. >She looks at you with comprehension
  54. >You peer around the room desperately
  55. >"You might want this..."
  56. >She steps back to reveal a glass of water sitting on the nightstand
  57. >So either you weren't completely without sense last night
  58. >Or she knows what a hangover feels like
  59. >At this point, you don't care
  60. >You seize the water and gulp it down
  61. >now that your throat is in working order, you can resp0nd
  62. I... Yeah, I slept pretty well
  63. >You look around the room more slowly this time
  64. >Various articles of your clothing are laying about the floor
  65. >The night stand holds your glasses and harness
  66. >You begin clothing yourself
  67. What happened last night?
  68. >This is perhaps the most important question you could ask
  69. >She cocks her head at you
  70. >"You don't remember?"
  71. I remember some of it...
  72. >"I'm not surprised.  You partied late into the night last night"
  73. >"I've never seen anyp0ny party quite like you"
  74. >From her, you take it as a compliment
  75. >"When it finished, you were in no state to be walking all the way back to sweet apple acres through the nasty cold!"
  76. >"So I brought you to my place"
  77. Where are we, exactly?
  78. >"Above Sugarcube corner, silly filly!  This is the only bed I had open, so we had to share..."
  79.  
  80.  
  81. >Oh shit
  82. >Oh fuck
  83. >Oh sweet Emprah
  84. >all this and more swirls through your head as you p0nder your situation
  85. >It's not that you don't trust yourself
  86. >But you literally cannot remember what happened
  87. >You just have to be sure
  88. I didn't... DO anything, did I?
  89. >It takes her a moment to catch your drift
  90. >"Oh noooo!  You were a complete gentlecolt!  You even opened the door for me!"
  91. >"You fell asleep the second your head hit the pillow"
  92. I hope I didn't snore too loud
  93. >She grins at you
  94. >"I've slept through worse"
  95. >By now, you've got the rest of your clothes on
  96. >You head out the bedroom door and straight into the bathroom
  97. >And then straight back out
  98. Do you have to go?
  99. >She giggles at you
  100. >"You go ahead, I think you might need it more than I do"
  101. >You enter the bathroom and relieve yourself
  102. >You shave with your knife, doing better this time
  103. >Then you wash your face off and exit the bathroom
  104. >Pinkie Pie jumps in after you clear the doorway
  105. >As the door closes, you look around
  106. >There's another door across the hall
  107. >You can hear the faint sounds of snoring from behind it
  108. >...you'll ask later
  109. >a door that looks like it leads to a closet
  110. >And down the hall a combination kitchen/living room/dining room
  111. >Cozy
  112. >You can work with this
  113.  
  114.  
  115. >Pinkie Pie appears in the archway a few minutes later
  116. >To see you setting out ingredients
  117. >She took you in for the night when you were too drunk to walk home
  118. >Making her breakfast is the least you can do
  119. >Which reminds you...
  120. >You remember enough to know that if you were drunk last night
  121. >AppleJack and Rainbow were completely shitfaced
  122. >They weren't walking or flying home either
  123. So what happened to AppleJack and Rainbow?
  124. >"Oh, they're in the guest bedroom" she says, confirming your suspicions
  125. >"In fact, they should be waking up right abo-"
  126. >WHAM
  127. >You jump
  128. >Then both of you advance down the hallway towards the door
  129. >You reach out and open it
  130. >Rainbow Dash is laying on the floor in front of you
  131. >She definitely looks worse for the wear
  132. >Next to her is AppleJack
  133. >You're not sure they even opened their eyes before they made for the door
  134. >You suppress a chuckle
  135. >Pinkie Pie doesn't though
  136. Everything alright in here?
  137. >"mhmmrrahaaa"
  138. >They both groan at once
  139. >Now it's a race
  140. >They both get their eyes open at the same time
  141. >Rainbow shoots past AppleJack and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her
  142. >"Durn that pegasus..."
  143. Come on AppleJack, I'll get you some water
  144. >The three of you head back into the kitchen area
  145. >After pouring her a glass of water, you set the pitcher next to her on the table and get to work
  146. >First you cook some scrambled eggs
  147. >Gotta get protein somewhere
  148. >Then some hash browns
  149. >And finally, you start on the most important part
  150. >The pancakes
  151.  
  152.  
  153. >By the time the pancakes are done, AppleJack's had her turn in the bathroom
  154. >All three of them sit at the table and look at you expectantly
  155. >Time for the finishing touch
  156. >First you butter each pancake
  157. >Then you add just the right amount of syrup
  158. >finally, you roll the pancakes up into tubes
  159. >You set the plate of tube cakes down on the table next to the cooling eggs and hashbrowns
  160. Dig in
  161. >You sit down yourself and shovel a generous helping of hashbrowns and eggs on your plate
  162. >Breakfast starts with dead silence
  163. >Then Pinkie Pie picks up one of the tube cakes
  164. >She takes a bite and starts chewing
  165. >Her pupils dilate to the size of softballs
  166. >"These are the best pancakes EVER!"
  167. >"YOU HAVE TO TELL ME THE RECIPE!"
  168. Nope
  169. >"WHAT?"
  170. >You tap the side of your nose
  171. Family secret
  172. >She puts on a pout face
  173. >You stick your tongue out at her
  174. >"Haha, alright.  I won't ask you to give up family secrets."
  175. >"Rainbow, AppleJack, you have to try these!  They're fantastic!"
  176. >She generously reaches over and places a tube cake on their plates
  177. >AppleJack is the more resp0nsive of the two and picks hers up almost right away
  178. >As she bites into it, she seems to become more alert
  179. >"Those are some mighty tasty flapjacks"
  180. >It takes a bit for Rainbow to get to her tube cake
  181. >You can't imagine the combination of overwork and hangover is treating her well
  182. >She eats the whole thing without any visible reaction or change from her zombie-like state
  183. >she reaches over and grabs another
  184. >She consumes this one as well
  185. >Then she stops moving all together
  186.  
  187.  
  188.  
  189. >You resume the consumption of your own tube cake
  190. >It tastes just like you remember
  191. >Then Rainbow twitches
  192. >It starts with her left eye
  193. >after which her head jerks
  194. >Her wings flutter madly for an instant
  195. >Then a wall of sound impacts the lot of you
  196. >"HI ANON GOOD TO SEE YOU THIS MORNING.  THOSE ARE SOME DAMN FINE PANCAKES YOU COOKED, DAMN FINE PANCAKES."
  197. >"I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BITS TODAY, DID I MENTION THAT?  BECAUSE I DO, I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BITS"
  198. >Any further talking is cut off as she rapidly consumes the rest of the food on her plate
  199. >"WELL THANKS FOR MAKING BREAKFAST ANON, THOSE WERE SOME DAMN FINE PANCAKES."
  200. >She glances at the wall clock
  201. >"HO BOY, LOOK AT THE TIME, I GOTTA BE GOING.  IT'S SNOWING AGAIN AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!  BUT THANKS FOR THE FOOOOOD"
  202. >The last word dissipates as she opens a window, then zooms out it with enough speed to send loose papers fluttering about
  203. >AppleJack pivots and stares directly at you
  204. >"Whut in tarnation did you put in those pancakes?"
  205. LOVE
  206. >"Well alrighty then..."
  207. >"Of course he put love in the pancakes!  You can't cook anything without it!"
  208.  
  209.  
  210. >Pinkie Pie finishes her breakfast before both you and AppleJack
  211. >She puts her dishes in the sink
  212. >"Time for clean up!"
  213. >Then heads through a door and down to Sugarcube corner proper
  214. >The door swings shut behind her
  215. >As you and AppleJack finish your breakfasts, you can hear a noise coming from beneath your feet
  216. >It starts off as a low buzz
  217. >Then slowly gains volume and intensity as you put the remaining food away in the fridge
  218. >By the time you finish washing the dishes, you can feel a vibration in the floor
  219. >It sounds like that one time your brother dropped a chicken bone in the garbage disposal
  220. >Now it's your turn to look at AppleJack
  221. >She smirks at you
  222. >"You'll see"
  223. >You notice your winter gear in a corner
  224. >You grab it up and head down the stairs, AppleJack in tow
  225. >The noise ceases the moment you put your hand on the doorknob to the lower level
  226. >You open the door
  227. >This probably won't be pre-
  228. >The place is clean
  229. >No
  230. >Even more than that
  231. >The place is immaculate
  232. >The counter and display case shine
  233. >The detritus of last night's shindig is nowhere to be seen
  234. >And in the middle of it all stands Pinkie Pie
  235. >Grinning
  236. >You are at loss for words
  237. How...
  238. >She taps the side of her snout
  239. >"Family secret"
  240. >Figures
  241.  
  242.  
  243. >Well, you've lollygagged long enough
  244. >You have a job to do today
  245. >And you intend to dooo eeeettt
  246. >So you follow AppleJack to the plow storage shed
  247. >Inside, she takes you to a piece of paper hanging on the wall
  248. >On it are the seven days of the week
  249. >Underneath the various days you can see "AppleJack", "Big Mac", and several other names you don't recognize
  250. >"This is the schedule, we draw a new one up every week" Begins AppleJack
  251. >"For now, ya can work on the same days ah do"
  252. >"On yer designated day, ya move any and all snow that falls.  Ya keep the streets clear"
  253. >"Everyp0ny gets paid at the end of the month.  Got it?"
  254. Yeah, I got it
  255. >Seems simple enough
  256. >"Then let's get to it"
  257. >She trots over to a plow and jumps in
  258. >You head out the door
  259. >Your shovel is still in your truck
  260. >Over by Twilight's
  261.  
  262.  
  263. >You really hope Twilight's feeling alright
  264. >But you don't want to wake her up by knocking
  265. >So you get out your shovel and start shoveling
  266. >After a bit, you take off your jacket and hang it on a convenient street lamp
  267. >Then resume shoveling
  268. >"What did you do that for?"
  269. >The question comes from behind you
  270. >You turn around
  271. >Twilight is watching you
  272. Do what for?
  273. >"Why did you take off your... jacket?  You said yourself it keeps you warm"
  274. >You pause and lean on your shovel
  275. If I wear that jacket while I work, I'll get too warm
  276. IF I get too warm, I'll sweat inside my clothes
  277. Wet clothes conduct heat and cold much easier than dry clothes
  278. If my clothes are wet, I'll get cold
  279. So I take off the jacket and allow my physical activity to keep me warm
  280. >You demonstrate your logic by resuming your shoveling
  281. How are you doing, by the way?
  282. >"I'm... I'm doing better, actually.  That water you left for me really helped"
  283. Rehydrating during a hangover really does, doesn't it
  284. >You shovel for a few more minutes
  285. >"Anonymous..."
  286. >You're not so sure about that tone of voice
  287. >You turn around and look at her
  288. >"Thank you.  For last night..."
  289. >So she does remember
  290. >You stick your shovel in a snowbank
  291. >Then you kneel down in front of Twilight at head height
  292. >You put your hands on her shoulders and look deep into her eyes
  293. Twilight, you are one of the few friends I have in this place.
  294. I don't leave my friends sleeping on the barroom floor.
  295. >Then you get back up
  296. So think nothing of it, eh?
  297. >And start shoveling again
  298.  
  299.  
  300. >Twilight turns to go back in her housebrary
  301. >Then she pauses
  302. >"Oh, I almost forgot!  Celestia sent a letter back."
  303. >You pause
  304. >You don't know if she wants you to come read it or if she's going to tell you what it says
  305. >She moves to the door
  306. >"You can come in!"
  307. >Ah, the former then
  308. >You stick your shovel in a snow pile outside the housebary and duck through the door
  309. >On the table is an open scroll
  310. >You walk over with Twilight and read
  311. >The gist of the letter is that Celestia is willing to help you
  312. >She's not sure if you CAN go back, but she will try
  313. >Unfortunately, the train rail to... Canterlot is out
  314. >A vital bridge collapsed, and it can't be repaired until spring
  315. >"Well Anonymous, looks like you get to spend the winter here"
  316. >You are suddenly glad you got a job
  317. >You're gonna be here for awhile
  318. >"I can't say I'm complaining"
  319. Really?
  320. >"No.  I have all winter to ask you questions"
  321. >Oh boy
  322. Not now though
  323. >"No?"
  324. Nope.  I gotta get back to work
  325. >And with that, you stand up
  326. >"Oh come on!"
  327. I'm just kidding.  You can ask me questions as I work if you really want to.
  328. >"Okay"
  329. >That settled, you turn around and walk out the door
  330.  
  331.  
  332. >The rest of the day passes relatively uneventfully
  333. >Twilight drops in on your shoveling occasionally to pepper you with questions
  334. >Which you are more than happy answer
  335. >To be honest, it relieves some of the monotony
  336. >She even invites you to her treehouse for lunch
  337. >Which turns out to be delicious, delicious spaghetti
  338. >No meatballs, of course
  339. >But the sauce is to die for
  340. >After lunch, you resume your work
  341. >It's not long before your own and AppleJack's efforts clear the streets entirely of snow
  342. >So you opt to spend the rest of the evening at Twilight's
  343. >The questions range over most topics
  344. >You try to stay away from warfare and murder, though
  345. >She's amazed that your species has risen to such great heights without magic
  346. >You lean back against one the few bare patches of wall
  347. >Right now, you can't really think of a better way to spend the evening...