AlaskanAnon in equestria ch. 14

>RRRRRIIIIIPPPPPP

>You're falling

>Shit, why are you falling?

>You don't know

>But you do know you've landed

>Right next to Princess Celestia...

>Who releases a very Un-princesslike shout

>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

>She pulls all four hooves up in front of her and punts you off the bed

Oooow, fuck

>Shit

>Oh god, this is now how you wanted this to go

>You're royally fucked

 

 

>Above you, Princess Celestia ceases her shout

>You reach down and rub your ass

>The floor is hard

>That's definitely going to bruise

>Princess Celestia is panting slightly, staring at Twilight

>Twilight has the classic "Moose in the headlights" look in her eyes

>"Anonymous, Twilight Sparkle, why are you in my room?" asks Celestia, audibly trying to reassert her calm

>Twilight emits a strangled squeak

We were hiding

>You answer from the floor

>Probably wise to stick to the truth at this point

>"And how, pray tell, did you get inside?"

>you think back to the previous night

Well, we were looking for a place to hide, and this door was the only one unlocked...

In fact, you should probably have words with your chief of security.  It was remarkably easy for us to get in here

>You say as you slowly get up off the floor

>As you put your glasses on, Celestia opens her mouth

>"You must have chanced upon the door while I was taking care of a few last minute duties.  It IS usually guarded, but the

 

guards were otherwise occupied last... night..."

>The sun goddess stops

>You can almost see the gears in her head lock

>"P-princess... Did-did you really..."

>Twilight seems to have recovered her voice

>The color drains from Princess Celestia's face

>You're tempted to cover your head

>This ain't gonna be pr-

 

 

>BOOM

>The balcony door flies open and slams into the wall

>You wheel around to face it

>On the far side is a midnight blue...

>Alicorn?  Is that what Twilight called them?

>She's roughly the same size as princess Celestia

>If a bit smaller

>Her mane is as black as the night sky, with twinkling points of light to match

>She wears a black chestpiece with the same crescent moon emblem as her flank

>Royal blue shoes similar to Celestia's golden ones

>And a crown that pokes out of her mane just above the horn

>"SISTER!  WE HEARD SHOUTING!  ART THEE IN DANGER?"

>The sheer volume and intensity of the shout presses you back a step

>Twilight and Celestia, caught unaware, are pushed off the bed along with most of the sheets

>That has to be magic

>There's no other way that much wind could come out of something that size

>She opens her mouth again and you crouch slightly, bracing yourself

>"WAS IT YON HUMAN CREATURE?"

>Oh shit

>You hear a muffled thump behind you

>"Luna, you're using the Royal Canterlot voice again"

>Celestia flies up over the bed and lands next to you

>"REALLY?  WE-I apologize" Says Luna, her voice going down several orders of magnitude

>"I am in no danger, I assure you" finishes the sun princess, with a glance up at you

>'Luna' seems to deflate now that the perceived threat has passed

>But she still eyes you wearily

>"Pray tell how yon human managed to gain entrance to thine room?"

My name's Anonymous

>"Very well.  Anonymous"

>Luna steps through the door

>"And what is thy most faithful student doing here at this hour of the morn?"

>"It seems the temporary redistribution of the Guard created more gaps in security than previously anticipated" answers Celestia

 

 

>"However, the external doors were still under watch.  How DID you get inside the castle?"

I'll tell you, but first I have a question

>"Go ahead"

>YOu point at Luna

Why do you speak in Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe?  And why do you refer to yourself as we?

>"We-I"

>She emphasizes

>"'ve been doing that again, haven't I"

>"You have, I'm afraid"

>Luna sighs

>"'It is an old habit, one whose explanation would take far too long"

Alright

>She doesn't want to talk about it

>That's fine

Well, we started off leaving the maze...

 

 

...I had no other options with Celestia coming up the stairs.  That canopy was the only hiding place in this entire room

>You conclude, pointing to the ripped canopy

I put Twilight up there first, then hoisted myself up.  We...

>Celestia's staring daggers at you

Ended up spending the entire night up there.  The shout you heard this morning was when the fabric finally gave, dumping us next to your sister

>You nod to Luna

And that's how we ended up in Celestia's room

>"Interesting.  Most of the holes you passed through would have been covered if the Guard was not... otherwise occupied"

>Celestia looks to Luna

>"Sister, I believe it's past time"

>The midnight blue alicorn yawns

>"Indeed, it is"

>As one, they turn and head for the patio door

Time for what?

>You ask Twilight

>"They're going to lower the moon and raise the sun" She whispers with quiet reverence

>Bullshit

>Magic you can accept

>Flying ponies you can accept

>But moving the sun itself?

>You rise from your spot on the bed and head for the patio door after them

>"Where are you going?"

I'm going to watch

>"What?"

You tell me they're going to do something that is nearly physically impossible, and expect me to not watch?

>You turn to the Princesses

What do you two say?  Do you two mind if I watch?

 

 

>Celestia looks over her shoulder while Luna opens the door

>"You can both watch, if you care to"

>Twilight immediately rises to her hooves and trots after you

>Princess Celestia's horn lights up

>A glimmering golden wall forms and scrapes most of the snow off the balcony through the railing

>The two of them canter through the doorway, which you duck under shortly after

>Twilight quietly joins you

>The Princesses take up positions side by side, their horns both lighting up simultaneously

>...And nothing happens

>You snort, blowing dual jets of fog into the crisp morning air

This is it?

>"sssshhhh" shushes Twilight

>You cross your arms and look up

>You knew they couldn't act-

>Wait

>Is the moon up there actually moving?

>It is

>You struggle to keep your jaw off the floor as the moon accelerates at impossible speed towards the edge of the horizon

>You swivel your head to look at the opposite horizon

>Sure enough, there's a faint golden glow

>The glow intensifies until the sun itself makes its way into view

Damn...

>"Anonymous!"

>Twilight is mortified

What?

>"Don't swear in front of the princesses!"

 

 

 

>The two sisters finally shift, the magical glow of their horns fading

>Luna turns to address the three of you

>"I will... See you all tonight?"

>Celestia gives her an encouraging nod

>"Very well"

>Luna turns, and enters her own balcony door

Is she going to bed?

>"She IS the princess of the Night" Answers Twilight

up all night, sleep all day?

>"She holds Night Court, yes"

>How original

>"Come"

>Princess Celestia beckons

>Then she turns and enters her own room

>You and Twilight follow

 

 

>"Princess, would it be alright if I used your bathroom?"

That's something I've been meaning to ask too

>"Be my guest.  In fact, you may as well catch a shower.  Neither of you smell particularly charming at the moment"

>You raise up your arm and have a whiff

>...yeah, she's right

>You start towards the bathroom at the exact instant Twilight does

>Then you both stop

>And start again

You go ahead

>"No, I can wait"

I insist

>Twilight concedes and goes into the bathroom, closing the door behind her

>After a minute, you hear the toilet flush

>Then the shower turns on

You're taking all this really well

>you comment

>"This is... not the first time something like this has occurred.  There is a reason the Royal Wardrobe is no longer kept in my room"

>She pauses

>"Anonymous, I would like to apologize for my behavior the other day.  It was... unbecoming of me"

It's done and over with, right?

>"For a time, yes"

Then we should be fine

>The pair of you lapse into silence

 

 

So, Princess Celestia, can you send me back?  To my own dimension?

>The Princess's face assumes a certain look

>One you can identify all too well, even on such foreign features

>"No, I am afraid that I cannot"

Why not?

>The Sun Goddess takes a deep breath

>"Trans-Dimensional transportation is old, old magic, and exceedingly dangerous"

>"Furthermore, I cannot send you back without first knowing where to send you to, if you understand.  Without the... errr..."

Coordinates?

>"Yes, without the coordinates of your original location you could end up in the center of your planet, or floating in space, or in another dimension entirely.  It would be sure suicide"

>You sit down on the bed heavily

>You had been half expecting this

>Well, more than half actually

>But it's still a lot to take in

>"You have my sincerest condolences..."

 

 

>Well, it's not that big of a deal, really

>Yeah

>That's the attitude to have

>You're on... less than cordial relations with what's left of your family

>You had a few good friends you would miss, sure

>But you've got friends here now, too

>"Anonymous, are you alright?"

I'm fine, I'm fine

>You look up

>You're surprised to find genuine sympathy in Celestia's magenta eyes

>"Are you certain?  In my experience, such things are not so easily dealt with..."

>You grunt

I'll live

 

 

>The bathroom door opens, and Twilight steps out, shaking her still damp mane

>Celestia clears her throat

>"Anonymous, is it true you can see through a changeling's disguise?"

I think I can... I'm still a little fuzzy on all the details here

>Twilight gets that look in her eye

>Oh boy

>Here we go

>"Do you mind if I explain, Princess?"

>"Go ahead, my student"

>Twilight takes a deep breath

>"Changelings are a race of insectile beings that occupy a region on the outskirts of Equestria.  They seem to mirror ants in that they have many drones and a single Queen, Queen Chrysalis.  The drone form, to our knowledge, is capable of the disguise magic you saw, or rather didn't see, along with limited forms of other magic schools.  They may also be capable of mental manipulation.  Changelings feed primarily off of love; the shape shifting abilities are used to-

Woah, woah, hang on a sec here

>Twilight doesn't look happy at your interruption, but stops

>"Yes, Anonymous?"

They feed off LOVE?

>"Do you think I would joke about this sort of thing?"

>No, she probably wouldn't

No, I'm sorry.  Go ahead

>"As I was saying, the changelings use their imitation magic and possible mental manipulation abilities to get close to a given p0ny and extract all of their love.  In all recorded instances, the process is fatal to said p0ny if not interrupted.

>She pauses to take a breath

>"Beyond that, we know very little about them"

 

 

>Celestia takes over

>"Canterlot has a hidden population of changelings, although how large that population is I do not know.  This is where you come in"

You need me to hunt them down?  Most Dangerous game Style?

>Celestia looks appalled

>"No Anonymous.  Your ability to see through a changeling's disguise is nearly unique; I merely request you meet periodically with Twilight under the guise of friendship studies so she can attempt to determine how exactly you manage it, and if it can be replicated"

>She looks over to Twilight

>"This is all assuming my dear student agrees to as well..."

>Twilight goggles at her

>"I would be honored... but why me?"

>In a rare display of personal contact, Celestia reaches over and ruffles Twilight's mane with her hoof

>"You're one of the best and brightest in my kingdom, Twilight.  If there's anyp0ny that could do it, it would be you"

>Twilight practically glows at the praise

>"So Anonymous?  What do you say?"

I'll do it

>"Excellent.  I'll have a laboratory made open for your collective use"

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to catch a shower.  Among other things.

>"By all means"

>You head right into the bathroom and lock the door behind you

 

 

>First order of business, take care of your bodily functions

>You've mastered the crouching squat necessary to use p0ny toilets by now

>When you've finished, you flush the toilet and take off your holster

>You're about to start stripping when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror

>You need a shave

>badly

>No razors to be found anywhere

>So you draw your knife, and wet your hand...

>When you're done, you look in the mirror again

>At this rate, you won't even have to buy a razor blade

>You put your knife back in its scabbard, and strip off the rest of your clothing

>Then you go to double check the lock on the bathroom door

>Ah, who are you kidding

>If the Sun Goddess and her protege  really want to peek, you doubt a measly lock would stand in their way

>So you head over to the shower and pull the curtain open

>Finally!

>Fuck yes!

>A shower you don't have to kneel to get under

>You crank the water on and adjust it to an appropriate temperature

>Then you jump right in and close the curtain

>Once you're thoroughly wet, you pick up one of the plethora of bottles on the shelf

>'Radiant C' mane conditioner and bodywash

>Fancy

>You dump a little in your hand and lather up

>Smells like citrus

>...

 

 

>When the last of the now slightly darker tinged soap runs down the drain, you shut the shower off and hop out

>Long showers are nice

>But you don't think the princess would take nicely to a long shower at this particular moment

>You towel off and pull some of the clothing Rarity made for you out of the cloak

>Then you pull it on, and transfer your belt, knife and assorted pocket things from your old pants

>You're really going to have to thank Rarity

>It can't have been easy making clothing for something as comparatively large and foreign as yourself

>You finally pull on your glasses, shrug on your holster and pin the cloak around your neck

>Thus fortified, you unlock the bathroom door and pull it open

>Celestia stands in front of the door, holding her various adornments in her magic

>She trots past you and into the bathroom

>"I'll meet you two at breakfast"

Sure

>Then Celestia closes the door, at which point Twilight turns to you

>"Anonymous, I want to apologize for my behavior over the past week.  It was abominable-"

>Sheesh

>Is this going to keep happening?

Hey, the way I see it I should be thanking you

>"What?"

If the rest of the Elements are anything to go by, you did an admirable job of resisting your biological imperatives.  So thank you

>"you're... You're welcome, I suppose"

>You clap your hands together

Great.  Now I don't know about you, but I could really go for some breakfast

 

 

>Twilight trots down the spiral stairs behind you

So how come you didn't recognize this place last night?

>"I've never actually been to the princess's rooms before"

Ah

>conversation lapses into silence, and for a time all that can be heard is the sound of boots and hooves on stone stairs

>Then Twilight breaks the silence

>"What were you thinking last night?  When you got us up on the canopy?"

Hmmmmm

>You ponder

I think my thoughts were something along the lines of "oh fuck oh shit gotta hide oh shit she's coming damnit there are no hiding places fuck oh wait there's one!"

>This gets a chuckle

>You're now at the bottom of the stairs

Do you know the way to the breakfast place from here?

>"The Royal Eatery?  It's this way"

Fancy

>Twilight takes the lead, and you follow her into the hallway

 

 

>The halls are even more crowded than you remember

>P0nies of all walks of life hustle and bustle about

>Heads turn as you go past

>but that's only to be expected

>Twilight leads you through the twists and turns of the castle with practiced ease

>And eventually the pair of you come to a vaguely familiar door

>Twilight opens it and trots through first

>You hear several gasps from the other side

>Then you brace yourself

>And step through the door

 

 

>"Hi Nonny!  You're back!"

Hey Pinkie, good to see ya

>Through the door is the dining room where you had dinner a few days ago

>The rest of your friends are seated around the table, which is itself covered in various breakfast goodies

>Pinkie waves enthusiastically at you as you approach the table

>Then you pull one of the chairs back and kneel in front of a plate

>Twilight takes her place as well

>Hmmmm....

>You examine your compatriots more closely

>Fluttershy makes an "eep!" and ducks under the table when you look at her, her face that special shade of crimson usually reserved for complete embarrassment

>Then AppleJack clears her throat

>"Anonymous, We're all maighty sorry fer the way we were behavin' on tha trip over here..."

>Somber nods of agreement go right around the table

>"It was most disgraceful of us" pipes in Rarity

>Even Pinkie looks suddenly apologetic

>You scratch the back of your neck

Well, I guess I can forgive you...  on one condition

>You lean in conspiratorially, and they all follow suite

>You wait a second to build the suspense

Give me a warning next time.  And a head start

>"BAAAAAHAAAHAAA!"

>Dash nearly falls off her chair

>Then Pinkie opens her muzzle

>"YAAAAAAAY!  Now we can have a Welcome back from hiding party for Anonymous!"

 

 

 

>You clap your hands together

Now that that's behind us, let's eat!

>You reach for an appetizing looking muffin

>Rarity gasps

>"Anonymous, you can't!"

Why not?  My belly is empty and there's food on the table

>"Those're mah thoughts exactly"

>You persist in reaching for the muffin, but Rarity's having none of it

>"One does not simply begin eating before the Princess arrives!"

>The muffin floats up and away from your hand in a blue glow

Awwww...  But I'm hungry!

>"It's not proper!"

Fine

>You settle in for the wait

>No point in pissing her off too much

 

 

Hey Twilight

>You ask, adding your own voice to the idle chatter

>"What?"

I've been meaning to ask for awhile now; what's that mark on your side?  Does it have a purpose?  I've seen similar marks on almost all p0nies... Is it some sort of magical job brand?

>"This is my cutie mark"

>Says Twilight, wiggling her rump for emphasis

>"It's not a 'job brand', although I'm curious as to what a brand is.  No, a p0ny's cutie mark signifies their special talent; for example, mine is magic.  Cutie marks usually appear during late childhood and adolescence"

I see

>Twilight pauses for a moment

>"Humans don't get cutie marks, do they?"

Nah

>You scratch your chin

The closest thing we have would be tattoos

>"What's a tattoo?"

>Of course p0nies don't have tattoos; they don't have any exposed skin

A tattoo is an image permanently engrained into your skin with ink and needle

>This gets almost everyone else's attention

>Fluttershy winces

>"That sounds like it would hurt..."

It does

>You look around the rest of the table

Want to see mine?

 

 

>"DO IT!"

>You pull up your sleeve, resting your arm on the table

>The tattoo is still there, just as you remember it

>On your shoulder, a wolf stands silhouetted on a snowy rock crag with an equally snow covered forest below, howling into a starlit sky at a beautiful full moon

>The detail is so fine you can see the steam jetting out of the wolf's muzzle, and the craters on the moon

>On the lower part of your upper arm is a larger image of the same wolf's face, staring inscrutably out at the world

>"Woooaaaaah" Says Pinkie

>"How'd you get that?" asks Dash

Honestly?  I don't remember.  I woke up with it after I went drinking with Sonny and a couple other buddies.  I wish I did remember though; whoever did this is crazy good

>"It's utterly barbaric!" Scoffs Rarity

>You grin

You say that like it's a bad thing

>"Well, I never..."

Besides, most people that get a tattoo while drunk wake up with 'Loretta' tattooed on their ass. I think I did pretty well.

>"Thet's a maighty strange lookin' timber wolf ya got there" comments AppleJack

That's because it's a wolf wolf.  Wolves were I come from aren't made of wood, they're flesh and blood

>Twilight looks like she wishes she had a notebook

>"I'm sure Luna would be very impressed"

 

 

>Everyone around the table jumps, including yourself

>Princess Celestia somehow managed to sneak into her position at the table without anyone noticing

>Her flowing mane no longer has the rumpled look, and she's wearing all her usual attire

>"Princess!  We... didn't notice you come in!"

>Celestia chuckles

>"It's easy to miss little things when you're paying attention to something interesting, isn't it"

>Then she sits down at her chair and begins portioning food onto her plate

>"I am serious, however.  I expect you to show that to my sister at some point in the near future"

Okay...

>You look over to Rarity

Am I allowed to eat food now?

>Rarity balks, but responds

>"Yes, Anonymous.  You may eat"

Why thank you

>You reply, piling on the sarcasm as you pile eggs on your plate

 

 

>"Hey Anonymous, how did you avoid all the guardsp0nies in the maze?"

>Asks Rainbow Dash through a mouthful of waffle

Well, it was mostly mobility.  I had snowshoes, and they didn't

>You pause for a forkload of hasbrowns

Actually, that's kind of odd.  I'm pretty sure Rarity has a working design...  So why DIDN'T they have snowshoes?

>"What do you think I've been doing the last few days, dear?"

>"Some of them did" Answers Celestia

>"And Rarity did a wonderful job of collaborating with the Royal Seamstresses, but I'm afraid there's only so much that can be done in a few days"

Ah.  I see.

>Looks like Bolt's request took care of itself

 

 

>After breakfast, most of your friends depart for the various occupations they've found in Canterlot

>Something you're going to have to address soon as well

>Before she leaves for Day Court, Celestia calls forth a p0ny in servant livery

>'Wadsworth' is instructed to give you the grand tour of the castle

>Which he proceeds to do in a very droll, butler-ly manner

>Christ, he even sounds British

>Does this place even have a Britain?

>You get to see the main mess hall, empty at the moment

>The guardsp0ny barracks

>The carriage garage

>An observatory

>The main administrative area

>The throne room where Celestia currently holds Day Court

>You wave to her

>The kitchens and servile areas, where you glimpse Pinkie bustling away

>"Party soon, fellow Anonymous"

>How in the fuck

 

 

>"And this is where Sir will be staying" Finishes Wadsworth, opening a door with a flourish

>Inside, you see a fairly ornate room with a fireplace and a nice window to the outside, along with various other trappings and furniture

>There's even a kitchenette and an attached bathroom

>With a tall shower!  

>Hell yes

>The two beds confirm your vague memories of Celestia saying you would have to share a room

>And the books piled on the table and filling the shelves tell you who your roommate-to-be is

>Ah well

>Better to room with someone you know than someone you don't

>Your investigation complete, you return to the door and the patiently waiting Wadsworth

>"Is there anything else Sir requires?"

>Hmmmm...

Is there a... oh I don't know... a range in the castle?  A spear range, or something along those lines

>"The Guard operates a spear and spell range, but Sir would have to talk to them regarding its use"

Fair enough

>"Will that be all then?"

Yeah

>"I bid you good day then"

>And with that he turns smartly and heads out the door, closing it behind him

 

 

>You consult your watch

>You asked Twilight and the rest to meet you here after lunch

>But you've got some time to kill until then

>Might as well go get the tent

>No point in leaving it out in the maze for animals to eat at

>Your course of action decided, you rise from the bed and head for the door

>Time to test out your newfound knowledge of the castle interior

 

 

>You work your way to a door to the outside

>P0nies look on curiously as you pull on your jacket, snowhsoes and other assorted winter gear

>You largely ignore them, heading out the door and for the hedge maze

>You wind your way through the corners and rows, intent upon your former refuge

>When you finally arrive, you find everything more or less as you left it

>The tent is still covered in snow

>The door was left open from last night's... scuffle, however

>So there's a fair coating of snow that blew in

>You have quite a few things in your cloak

>But a broom is not one of them

 

 

>Your first act is to pick up and shake out all the blankets and sleeping pads

>They're going to need to be dried out

>Then you pull the stovepipe off the stove and stow that as well

>The stove itself, long cold, you empty into the snow outside before putting it in the cloak

>Now, how to get the tent out from underneath all this snow

>You could shovel all the snow off it, of course

>But that would take too long

>Nah

>You've got a better idea

>You go back inside the tent and take down the poles supporting the back

>Nothing happens, just like you expected

>You take down the entire internal structure of the tent

>Still nothing

>Good

>The snow around the tent that was previously melted by the heat of the stove has refrozen into a shell of ice

>You could peel the entire tent out of here if you wanted to

>And that's exactly what you do, making sure to start from the back

>The tent turns completely inside out, emptying it of snow in the process

>Perfect

>It's the work of a moment to stick the tent into your cloak

>Your last act is to dig up and stow the remaining food from the trip

>Then you turn around and head back to the castle

 

 

>Once you're back inside the room, you get a fire started in the grate

>Then you have a quick lunch from the food in your cloak

>The rest of it's gone bad

>You can dispose of it later

>After your lunch, you withdraw a rope and string it between two light fixtures

>Then you pull the tent out in all its soggy glory and hang it up over the rope in front of the fire

>You're in the process of hanging up the sleeping mats and blankets when you hear the door behind you open

>You're currently on the fireplace side of the tent, so whoever's coming in can't see you, and you can't see them

>The thump of books setting down on the table, however, gives you a pretty good idea

>You hang the last blanket over your makeshift line and head for the edge of the tent

>"Anonymous?  Is that you?"

>You both come to the edge of the tent at the same time, ending up face to face

>Twilight jumps back a little, and you do the same

>You recover and come out from behind the curtain

Yeah, it's me

>"What in Equestria are you doing?"

I'm drying out the tent?

>"Do you have to do it in here?"

Well, where else am I going to do it?

 

 

>Twilight puts her hoof up to her face

>"Why can't you just- Oh, never mind."

>She puts the hoof back on the floor

>"What did you need us for?"

Well, I was hoping to test out those magic shells, find out what they do

>You shrug

I figured you would want watch.  What do you say?

>"Most definitely!"

>Then she pauses

>"Where are we going to shoot?  I can only imagine the noise that... shotgun puts out"

I'm told the Guard has a spear throwing range, which should work for our purposes.  We might have to collect some backstop material, but I figure it's better than shooting out on the grounds and causing a noise disturbance

>"Excellent idea!  We can ask my brother"

You have a relative in the Guard?

>"He's the Captain"

>The pride in her voice is evident

 

 

Even better.  Here, let's go

>You head to the door, and hold it open

>Twilight pulls a notebook and writing utensil off the table

>Then she trots through the door

>The purple mare leads you through the halls and into the Guardsp0ny garrison section of the castle

>You can see some of the guardsp0nies are suspicious

>But being with the Captain's sister and an Element to boot seems to keep them off you

>You both come to a large, ominous looking door, which Twilight opens

>On the other side, you see a large, rather burly white unicorn with a an ocean turquoise mane

>He's wearing a fancy red dress outfit that terminates around his midsection

>And the mark on his flank is a shield

>He's currently seated behind a large desk, doing paperwork

>His eyes light up when he Sees Twilight, who is in front of you

>"TWily!  It's been too long!"

>"Oh Shining Armor, I've missed you too!"

>He moves you from behind his desk, and they both engage in a quick hug

>you, meanwhile, hang back at the doorway

>You don't want to mess with the moment

>When the hug finishes, you step forward through the door

 

 

>When Shining Armor sees you, his expression changes momentarily

>But just as quickly it goes back to that of a jovial host

>"You must be Anonymous"

It seems my reputation precedes me

>"You did manage to avoid a fair portion of the combined Celestial and Lunar Guard, and then find your way into the Princess's room..."

Fair point

>"But I'm sure that's not why you're here!  What can I do for the pair of you?"

>"Well, Anonymous and I were hoping to use the spell-and-spear range"

>"Certainly.  It's at the end of the second right, you can't miss it"

Thank you

>You turn around and head for the door

>But Twilight doesn't

>"How's life been in Canterlot since the wedding?" she asks Shining

>"Oh, just peachy!  You wouldn't believe-"

>You clear your throat to get their attention

I'll wait for you at the range, alright?

>"That works"

 

 

>You turn around and head out the door

>You're not one to get in the way of family catch up

>You go to the second right, and down the hall

>There's a rather ominous looking door set in the end, which you open and duck through

>Inside, it looks...

>Sort of like a conventional shooting range, actually

>There are shooting lanes and a large backstop, pitted and scorched

>Out in the range there are variety of red and white bull's eye targets

>There's a line of spears along the back wall, ready for use

>Along with a massive stack of fresh targets

>And a table

>Perfect

 

 

>A solid sounding THUNK draws your attention to the far lane

>Someone's launched a spear into the target

>You walk down and peer behind the partition

>And find none other than Sunny Sky, who turns around when he hears you step around

>"Oh, hey Anonymous!  What are you doing here?"

I'm testing some shotgun ammo with Twilight... She's talking to Shining Armor at the moment

>"Nice.  What's a shotgun?"

You'll see soon enough if you stick around.  What are you doing here?

>"Mandatory practice"

Well, I've got some time to kill.  Mind if I give the spears a try?

>"Be my guest"

Thanks

>You head over and grab a few spears off the wall, then go to the booth next to Sunny Sky's

>You set four of the spears down on the counter, keeping the fifth in your hand

>Then you wind up and chuck it

>It flies over the target and bounces off the rear barrier

>...okay, so you're a little rusty

 

 

>The second spear you throw glances off the target

>And the last three make satisfying THUNKS when they stick

>You're more accustomed to chucking hatchets

>So you're happy with hitting the target

>...Wait a minute

>You do have your hatchet

>Why not

>You pull out your hatchet and judge the distance

>Finding it satisfactory, you wind up and pitch

>It smacks into the red dot, dead center

>The much abused target, already weakened by previous spear impacts, splits in half down the middle

>You pump your arm in victory

>"...Was that an axe?"

Nope!  It was my hatchet

>"Okay..."

>You glance into the next booth over

>Sunny Sky has gone through all his spears

Am I clear to go get the projectiles?

>"I got it"

 

 

>A golden aura surrounds all of the spears downrange, along with your hatchet

>You hear a few strained pants next door as the spears all float back into their racks

>Then the hatchet floats towards the firing line, and into the adjacent booth

>You walk out and around the divider to find Sunny Sky examining it

>"So it's a mini axe..."

Yup.  You chop wood with it where a regular axe is too big to fit.  

>You hold your hand out for the hatchet, which he provides

Or, if you're bored, you learn how to throw it

>You say as you heft it

>Then you hear the door to the range open

>You both turn around to see Twilight Sparkle

>"Oh, hello Sunny Sky!"

>"Hello Twilight" He says somewhat gruffly

Ready for testing?

>She floats the notebook and writing utensil up a little higher

>"Of course!"

 

 

>Sunny Sky looks on curiously as you step over the range barrier and go to the ruined target

>You stack the two pieces on top of each other

>Then you remove a nearly-gone-bad watermelon from your cloak and set it on top

This'll be your control

>You say to Twilight, who nods

I'll use regular 00 buck

>You go back to the shooting lanes, and then to the table

>You remove and set down your shotgun case, along with the seven boxes of shotgun ammo

>And then your earplugs

>...And only one set of earmuffs

Damn

>"What's the problem?"

I've only got one pair of spare hearing protectors

>"Hmmm... Give them to Sunny Sky"

You sure?

>Twilight's horn lights up, and a pair of force fields appear around her ears

>"I'll be fine"

Fair enough

>You hold the hearing protectors out to Sunny Sky

Put these on when I tell you to, alright?

>He looks confused

>"Okay..."

 

 

>The hearing protection issue taken care of, you remove one shell from each box, lining them up on the shooting bench

>Then you unlock the shotgun case itself and pull out your 870

This is a shotgun

Sunny Sky scoffs

>"It doesn't look like much"

Wait and see

>You screw your own earplugs in, then head to the bench

Put on those hearing protectors now

>Sunny Sky looks skeptical, but puts them on nonetheless

>You pick up and chamber the 00 buck shell you set out earlier

Ready?

>Twilight nods to you, force fields in place

>You take aim at the watermelon and squeeze the trigger

>There's the usual deafening boom

>And the watermelon explodes into a mass of flying green and red chunks, none bigger than your thumb

 

 

>Sunny Sky is awestruck

>"WOAH!  How'd you do that?"

>He asks as he removes the hearing protectors

The magic of gunpowder

>You reply, hopping into the range with one of the fresh targets

>Twilight busily scribbles notes down as you kick the remains of the ruined target to the side and set up the one you're holding in its place

Now to test the specialty ammo

>You say as you hop right back over the barrier

Just so you know, I have no idea what these will do

>Then you rack the slide, ejecting the 00 buck shell

>Retrieving the casing, you put it in the cloak

>Then you pick up the first shell in the line, the Pinkie Pie shell

Testing the Pinkie Pie shell

>You say as you chamber it

>Sunny Sky pulls his hearing protection back on as you observe the changes it has wrought to your shotgun

 

 

>Your shotgun is now almost entirely pink

>On either side of the stock are the trio of balloons that are Pinkie's cutie mark

>The pump is a deeper pink

>And there's a line of the same deeper pink running down the action

>On the left side of the action, in golden, swirly script similar to that which was on your pistol are the words 'Friendship is Magic'

>And on the right 'everyp0ny needs a party sometimes'

>You look to Twilight

Done with your notes?

>She nods

Good

>You aim the shotgun at the new target and pull the trigger

>There's a 'POP' like someone shot off a gigantic party popper, and the gun emits a veritable wall of confetti and streamers

>When they settle, there's a pink cord leading from the gun barrel to the target

>Along with the faint sound of Pinkie giggling

>"Do you have any idea what that was?" Asks Twilight as you rack the slide

>The edge of the spent shell cuts the cord off against the end of the action, along with the giggling

Tazer shell.  Pumps loads of electricity into the target, causing them to spasm and lock up.  Usually non-lethal.  However, this being Pinkie I have no idea what the shell would actually do to someone

 

 

>Next up is the Rarity shell

>You chamber it and examine the gun

>It's white, with her diamond trio cutie mark on the stock

>The pump and line along the action are both purple, and the line is more swirl than line

>On the left side the flowing text reads 'Friendship is Magic'

>And on the right 'Here comes Tom!'

>You shoulder the gun and touch it off

>The target gains several very exact, very precise holes

>And there's an odd tinkling sound when the projectiles hit the backstop

>Hmmmm...

Buck doesn't usually make a sound like that

>You say

>You vault the barrier and go to the backstop

>Then you dig out one of the projectiles

>...

>It's a diamond

>Wow

>You bring your find back to Twilight and show her

Diamond buckshot

>You muse

Wait.... SHIT!

>"What?"

Diamonds are way harder than steel!  My barrel's probably scratched to fuck

>You worriedly explain as you unscrew the magazine cover and yank the barrel off

>You hold the barrel up to the light

>...It's fine

>It's better than fine, actually

>That barrel is as pristine as the day you bought it

huh

 

 

>After showing Twilight and Sunny Sky the barrel and replacing it, you bemusedly pick up the Fluttershy shell

>You should be safe with this one

>Should being the operative word

>You chamber the shell and once again examine your shotgun

>It's yellow now, with butterflies on the stock

>The slide is pink, along with the line down the action

>Once again, the text on the left side reads 'Friendship is Magic'

>And on the right it reads 'Hush now, quiet now'

>You take aim and squeeze the trigger

>There's a barely audible pfft

>And a yellow and pink striped blur hits the target

>"That was... underwhelming"

You said it

>You say

>You go to vault the barrier-

>"Stop, I'll get it"

>You cease your motion as the yellow and pink blob removes itself from the target and floats back to your little group

It's a tranq dart

>you quip upon getting a closer look

>"And what's a tranq dart?"

A tranquilizer dart is like a syringe you can shoot.  Usually filled with drugs that render your target unconscious

>"Fitting"

 

 

 

>Now for the Rainbow Dash shell

>You chamber it

>Your shotgun is now cyan, with the cloud and rainbow lightning bolt mark on the stock

>The pump and line are rainbow striped

>And the text reads 'Awesomeness is its own virtue'

>When you see Twilight's done with her observances you take aim and fire

>And almost drop the shotgun when a massive gout of Rainbow-colored flame issues from the end

>The heat is intense

>When the fireball clears, you look at the target

>It's got a shit ton more holes, which are burning with the same rainbow colored flame as the fireball

Rainbow dragon's breath... it fits her

>You turn to Twilight

Think you can get one of the projectiles?

>Her horn lights up, and from the backstop floats a shining, rainbow colored, razor sharp dart

>Still hot to the touch

Rainbow dragon's breath flechettes... Nice

 

 

>Two more to go

>You thumb the AppleJack shell into the action and yank it closed

>It turns your shotgun a burnt orange, with the trio of apples on the stock

>The pump and line, however, are both red instead of blonde

>interesting

>The text reads 'Buck harder'

>You're almost afraid to shoot this one

>But you do anyway

>You feel the kick of this shell to the core of your very being

>It makes you glad you braced properly

>The roar, meanwhile, is almost unbearably loud, even through your earplugs

>When your eyes uncross, you peer downrange

>The first two rings of the target are gone completely, embedded into the backstop

>Which has a rather sizable crater of its own

>The outer ring of the target wobbles, then collapses onto the floor in pieces

Twilight...

>She coughs

That was most definitely a slug.  Can you get it?

>She nods, and her horn begins to glow

>It glows brighter and brighter

>"Rrrgh, I can't get it!"

>Sunny Sky's horn lights up as well

>Still nothing

 

 

>You hop over the barrier and walk up to the now glowing crater

>There's a stub of material sticking out of the bottom, wrapped in a purple and gold aura

>You reach into your cloak and pull out a pair of snub nosed pliers

>Then you lock them on the projectile and yank

>Still nothing

>You wrap both your hands around the pliers and pull with all your might

>And nearly fall over backwards when it finally comes loose

>You carry it, still held in the pliers, back to a panting Twilight and Sunny Sky

>It's a slug alright

>A slug in the shape of a hoof

>You whistle

>There is no deformation whatsoever

>No banana peel

>No mushrooming

>Nothing

>It's like it's fucking stubbornite

 

 

>The last shell you have to test is the Twilight shell

>You warily chamber it as Sunny Sky floats in a fresh target

>The shotgun is now purple, with Twilight's star speckled compass rose cutie mark on the stock

>The pump is a deeper purple, with a pink and even deeper purple stripe

>The stripe that runs down the slide is also pink and a deeper purple

>And the text reads 'Bring light to the darkest of nights'

>Weird

>When you pull the trigger, you hear a whine that rapidly increases in pitch and intensity

>After half a second, it peaks

>Then the gun kicks

>And emits a solid beam of purple energy

>Downrange, the target catches fire

>The backstop, being made of sterner stuff, doesn't

>It just gains a smoking, 12 gauge diameter hole

>You work the pump a final time, ejecting the empty shell

>Then you let the shotgun down

>They're both looking at you with questions in their eyes

I don't even know...

 

 

>"Does 'specialty ammo' usually have these kinds of effects?" asks Twilight

Nah.  There are cut down versions of some of those rounds, sure, but nothing that powerful

>You reply as you collect all the spent shells

>"May I take those projectiles?" She asks, motioning to the ones you have lined up on the barrier

Go ahead, I've got no use for them

>"Thanks Anonymous"

>She places them in her saddlebags

>"I'd like to go look into any residual magic these projectiles might have"

>She canters for the door, then pauses

Don't let me stop you; I've got a few other things I want to do while I'm here

>"I'll see him out when he's done" offers Sunny Sky

>"Thank you" she finishes, then she heads out the door

 

 

 

>You walk back over to one of the shooting lanes

>You want to get in a few more chucks of the ol' hatchet

>"Can I try that?" Asks Sunny Sky

>You hold your shotgun higher

What, this?

>"Yeah"

Sure, but I don't know how you'd work the trigger

>"I'll just use magic" he says

That works

>You grab a 00 buck shell and chamber it

>Then you walk over to Sunny Sky

Now, you may shoot my shotgun, but first you have to know the rules

>"Lay them on me"

Rule number one: Do not point the shotgun at anything you don't want holes in

Rule number two: Treat the shotgun as if it is loaded at all times

Rule number three: Always defer to me if you are having issues

Do you understand?

>He nods solemnly

Good

>You hold the shotgun out to him, which he takes in his telekinetic grasp

Make sure you hang on to it nice and tight, it kicks like a bitch

 

 

>Sunny Sky floats the shotgun up in front of his face, squinting down the sights

>"How do you aim this thing?"

>Shit, p0nies aren't right or left handed

>Do they even have eye dominance?

>Time to find out

You've never heard of eye dominance, have you

>"Nope"

Here, give me the gun

>He floats the gun over to you, which you grab

>You flick the safety on and set it down

Come here, we need to figure out which one of your eyes is dominant

>You sit down and form your hands into a triangle as he trots over

>Then you hold them out towards the range

Alright, look through my hands until you see that target there

>He shuffles about a bit next to you, before nodding

>"Alright, I see it.  Now what?"

Without moving your head, close your left eye.

>"Alright"

Can you still see the target?

>"Yes"

Now, still without moving your head, open your left eye and close your right.  Can you still see the target?

 

 

>"No, your hoof is in the way..."

Well there you go.  You are right eye dominant.  

>You get up and go pick up the shotgun

When you're aiming, just close your left eye and line the sights up with your right

>"Got it"

>You give him the shotgun back when he gets back to the lane, and he floats it out in front of him

>He squints down the sight with is right eye

>The shotgun roars

>Then it flies back out of his grip and smacks him in the face

>"Oh buck... oh buck oh buck oh buck..."

>He brings his hooves up to his face as the shotgun clatters to the ground

 

 

Fuck man, I toldja to hang onto it tight

>You pick up the shotgun as you crouch down to his level

Lemme see your face

>"I'm fine"

>He reluctantly lowers his hooves anyway

Aww, that ain't so bad

>And for the most part, it isn't

>His magic must have absorbed most of the recoil before it gave

>And the helmet took the brunt of what was left

>If there's any bruising, you can't see it past the hair

>"I'm fine, see!"

yeah, you're good

>You look over your shoulder

You hit the target too

>He peers around you at the target, faint surprise on his face

>"So I did..."

Just gotta work on that telekinetic grip strength

>"Yeah..."

 

 

>You put the shotgun away and get in a few more chucks of your hatchet before you decide to leave

>You need to get back to the room and check on the tent

I'm ready to go

>You announce to Sunny Sky, who nods and steps back from the firing line

>He'd been firing spells of his own, touching up on his aim

>"I need to be getting on patrol anyway"

>You head to the door and pull it open

>Outside, two stony faced guards look up at you

>"The Captain would like to speak with you"

>You get the feeling it's not a request

>Nonetheless, you look back at Sunny Sky, who shrugs

See you around then, Bolt

>"See you Anonymous"

 

 

>The two guards escort you to the Captain's office while Sunny Sky trots off, presumably to patrol

>They march close to either side of you

>Is this supposed to be intimidating?

>They both take positions on either side of the door when you finally arrive

>So you get to go face the head honcho alone

>You step through the door, to see Shining Armor standing behind his desk

>Gone is the semblance of a jovial host

>"Anonymous, I don't know who or even what you are.  I don't know where you came from, or what your intentions are."

>He pauses

>"You have proven to be mostly benign since your arrival.  I'm genuinely curious; do you plan to continue doing so?"

Yeah

>"Then I trust we won't have any problems.  You are free to go"

>You turn for the door

>"Oh, and Anonymous?"

>You stop

>"Keep your hooves off my sister"

>How honorable of him

Shit man, we're not even the same species

 

 

>Not hearing anything else, you continue through the door

>Better get out of here before he sees what you did to his range

>None of the guardsp0nies challenge your passage out of the barracks

>Which is just as well

>You go back to the room, and check on the tent and other sleeping apparatus

>Still wet

>So you stoke up the fire, and head back out

>The rest of the day you spend looking around for a job

>Several p0nies express interest in your fine detail working ability

>But everyone's full up with all the refugees pouring in from smaller towns

>You stop back in the room to fix some dinner, consuming the last of the non-spoiled food from the trip

>There's a third bed now

>Interesting

>You make a brief trip to the dumpsters before resuming your job search

 

 

>Hours later, and it's more of the same

>Everyone's full up

>EVERYONE

>You head back to the room for the night

>It's still empty

>So you start taking down the now dry tent and other things

>You're just taking the line down when you hear the door open

>Through it walks Twilight Sparkle

>And Applejack

>Well, that explains the third bed

>"Howdy Anonymous!"

Hey AppleJack, hey Twilight

>You reach over and finish untying the rope from the second light fixture

You gonna be staying with us AppleJack?

>"Yup.  They needed space fer all tha refugees coming in.  Ah hope ya don't mind..."

Nah, it ain't a problem

 

 

>After stowing the tent you make ready for bed

>You get to use the bathroom third

>You take care of your bodily functions, brush your teeth, all that good stuff

>You emerge from the bathroom and go sit down on your bed

>You remove your holster and put it on the nightstand

>Then you begin unlacing your boots

>You pull them off, along with your socks

>"Wheeeweee!  Them's some nasty smellin' boots!"

That's what happens when you wear them all day

>You respond, looking up

>Twilight's got her notebook, and is busily scribbling away

Uh, Twilight?  What are you writing about...

>"I've never seen your actual body; you've always been wearing clothes"

Huh

>You respond, pulling your pants off

 

 

>"Are all humans that pale?"

Nah, I just don't get a lot of sunlight.

>"W-would you mind taking your... shirt off?  I'd like to get a look at your torso"

Another day Twilight, I'm tired

>"Fair enough"

>You remove your glasses and put them on the nightstand

>Then you crawl under the covers

>Across the room from you, AppleJack hangs her hat on a bedpost

>Then crawls into her own bed

>Twilight stows away her notebook with a yawn

>Then she brings the lights down with her magic

>"Good night Anonymous, Good night AppleJack"

>"'Night Y'all"

Good night you two

>And so ends another day