Title:           Feathers 'n stuff (PimpRarity pt2, Addiction pt0)
Author:          CropTool
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/Ryrt9nyH
First Edit:      Sunday 1st of April 2012 02:46:04 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Monday 26th of January 2015 01:48:56 AM CDT

>Riding the train back from Canterlot
>Rarity's still wearing a comically oversized hat, but you've dressed down
>"Listen darling, with a recommendation like the one you've got there and my business savvy we'll have no trouble finding you work in Ponyville."
"I appreciate the offer, but I'd prefer if we kept this as our little secret, ok? I get enough harassment as is from AJ and Fluttershy, I don't want it spread around town that I jerk off unicorns for cash"
>You can tell she's disappointed with your vulgarity and lack of ambition
>The rest of the ride passes in awkward silence.
 
>A few weeks later you've blown through most of your earnings
>It was supposed to last you for a couple months, but you never really good at keeping a budget
>The sick parties you threw were totally worth it
>You swallow your dignity and stop by Carousel Boutique
"If we're going in to business together, I want to lay out a few ground rules first."
>"Of course dear, we wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable. What did you have in mind?"
"First, no more unicorns. Magic fucking hurts and I want nothing to do with it."
>She nods and starts taking notes while talking quietly to herself
"Second, I want to keep this clean and professional. Hands only, nothing dirty."
>"Fair enough. This will of course limit your potential clientele, and must remember that Ponyville isn't as… developed as Canterlot. You shouldn't expect to earn that kind of money without putting in some serious time"
"Yeah, I know."
>"I simply must get back to work here. Meet me tomorrow for lunch, I've got an idea or two, but I need to develop them first."
"I suppose there isn't any way we can keep this on the down-low, is there?"
>"You don't know a thing about business, do you?"
>You sigh and walk out of the shop as fabric and mannequins come to life and start flying around.
>As you hear her singing you silently pray she doesn't come up a pimping song
 
>For the life of you, you cannot understand why Rarity overdresses the way she does.
>This was supposed to be a casual business lunch, she's wearing a flowing faux-fur coat and a giant gem-studded hat.
>You're pretty sure she's fucking with you at this point, but you can never tell with ponies
>"From my perspective you only have two options. I can get you a job at the spa, the sisters that run it are very nice but very strict. You would have to work with unicorns, but you wouldn't have to… 'jerk them off' as it were"
>You haven't held a steady job since you've arrived, and you would prefer not to go back to being managed like that.
>"Your other option is pegasi. We're nearly getting in to the season where the weather must be managed rigidly. There will be a decent amount of work for you, but you'll have to practice quite a bit before I'll let you work on anyone on the Weather Patrol. Injuries are completely out of the question."
>That doesn't sound too bad
>"Good. As I have no experience in that area myself, I've called in a consultant and she should be arriving shortly"
>Wait, what?
 
>There is not enough booze at this restaurant to drown your shame
>Rarity has spent the last twenty minutes explaining the story so far to Rainbow Dash
>Rainbow Dash has spent the last twenty minutes giggling like a schoolgirl
>She looks you in the eye for the first time since she sat down
>"This is some kind of prank, right? There's no way what Rarity just said is true."
"All of it. I was hoping she would leave out the little introduction, but here we are"
>"Well Anon, I had to explain the situation. Your silly rule about unicorns wouldn't make any sense unless she knew how you got started"
"Whatever, can you help me out or not, Dash? I'm going to need some practice and you're the best coach in town"
>Dash finally stops laughing
>"Alright, I'll play coach for you, but there's no way you're laying a finger on these babies."
>She goes full wingboner for emphasis
>"Nop0ny touches my hooves and nop0ny touches my wings. I've been grooming these for years and they're coming in perfect for the season ahead. I do know somep0ny who doesn't take as good of care as herself as I do, I'm sure she would be willing to be your test dummy"
>You can tell my the shit-eating grin on her face that you're still too sober for whatever she's about to say.
 
>Anonymous, it's four o'clock in the afternoon, why in Equestria do you have Fluttershy spread out on a table before you?
>…Because I've lost control of my life
>You're back in the Boutique (the door is locked and the shutters are closed, praise Celestia)
>Rainbow Dash is floating over your shoulder with her baseball cap and whistle
>Rarity is sitting on her fainting couch, quietly taking notes and sipping from an golden gem-studded chalice.
>"Alright Anon, Fluttershy's wings are going to be very delicate and very sensitive, so you're going to have to use a light touch"
>You haven't the slightest idea what you're doing
"OK, where should I begin?"
>"Well, she's clearly nervous, so I would start away from the wings. Start with her haunch to help her relax."
>You gently lay a single finger on her cutie mark
>Her wings snap shut and she squeals against her gag.
>You can't believe she actually gagged herself for this, at least Rarity was able to talk her out of using the straps
>Thinking back to the suite in Canterlot, you start making slow circles around her flank
>She shivers, but remains quiet. Her wings relax a bit.
>You are pretty sure this is going to take forever.
 
>Fuck this, you're gonna go work at the spa