SAAiE Retrospective Arc: Day Thirty Three: What's left?

DAY THIRTY-THREE: WHAT'S LEFT?

 

(Apple Bloom: All it takes is a little love.

Sweetie: And tolerance!

I really want to hang myself right now.

Scootaloo: From, Scootaloo.

SB: Sweetie Belle.

AB: And Apple Bloom.

They give each other another hug.

Just this once, I’ve made things turn out right.

Twilight: Hey Anon, do you have any plans for tomorrow?

M: Mmm, not really.)

 

        It’s noon in Ponyville. I find myself back in Twilight’s library to help her further her research. Books and questions only get you so far, so she wants to get a bit more personal. She wants biological information.

Myself: Twilight…what are you doing with that needle?

Twilight: I just need a blood sample.

M: *gulp* Okay.

I can’t stop staring at the needle.

TS: Anon, don’t tell me you have belonephobia.

M: Maybe a little.

TS: That’s…really surprising.

She blushes a little trying to cover a small smile.

I pull up my right sleeve and point to my vain.

M: Just shut up and jam it in.

TS: It’s okay. *small giggle* It’s kind of…cute.

M: Sure it is.

Poke.

Twilight slowly drains away my blood.

TS: It’s funny, up until I saw you vomiting blood a few days ago, I always thought that human blood was black.

M: Ugh.

The syringe completely fills with blood.

TS: Great, now time for the x-ray.

        Over the next dozen minutes, Twilight gets my blood, skeleton structure, and hair sample.

Myself: What’s next?

Twilight: Hmm, let me think.

M: Measurements?

TS: Got those from Rarity.

M: Dental records?

TS: Unfinished turnip.

M: You took something I…Whatever…Photographs; you never even had a camera when we-

TS: Newspapers and Fluttershy.

We start to ponder for a bit.

TS:…The other stuff I want, you won’t let me do…Fiddlesticks.

The pony Blossomforth enters,-

BF: Is the library open?

-only to have the door magically slammed in her face.

TS: Sorry, closed for research!

M: Physical stats?

TS: Last week’s play date, and general observations of your training with Pinkie.

It takes five minutes before Twilight clacks her fore-hooves together with a sparked idea.

Twilight: Retrospect.

Myself: Retrospect?

TS: RETROSPECT! A retrospective on your experience in Equestria. Princess Celestia would LOVE that!

Twilight gallops upstairs, and in the blink of an eye, returns levitating Spike, quills, scrolls, and notecards.

She magically clears the books off of her work table, and practically throws the table to Spike for him to write on.

TS: Spike, you’ll be our stenographer.

Spike: What’s a stenographer?

TS: Just write as much as you can from me and Anon.

S: Sure thing Twilight.

She brings the notecard and a pencil to herself so she can also write anything she sees as important.

TS: Okay, let’s start. *ahem* The following is a retrospective of society and the effect of Anonymous’ appearance in Equestria. [To Me] State your name and occupation?

M: Anonymous; I’m a sketch artist.   

TS: Tell me; How did you arrive in Equestria? Recall as much as you can remember.

M:…I don’t know. The last thing I remember on Earth, or rather, my Earth was myself going to sleep in my world after an average day of…I don’t remember what I was doing. I just sort of woke up in Equestria after that.

TS: In one word, how would you describe your time in Equestria?

M:…Confusing.

Twilight takes a moment to think of more questions.

TS: What were your first impressions of the citizens of Ponyville during your first week in Equestria?

M: I didn’t really have much of an opinion. Everyone hid from me, because they hated my guts. I spent a lot of time inside Fluttershy’s cottage, so no opinions due to lack of knowledge. The world looks nice though, lots of ozone and stuff.

TS: Uh huh. Well, how was your experience during this time frame?

M: Awful, for the reasons previously stated.

Getting this information off my chest compels me to bring up something that I never felt wanted to be heard.

Myself:…Ya know, back on my Earth, I had a pair of friends; Trip Codwin, and Namé (Nah-/meɪ/) Fagheli.

Spike: How do you spell those names?

M: Leave it blank, I’ll fill it myself. Anyways, we were going to head to an event in a place called New York, we were going to laugh at gross neckbeards, I was even going to platonically shake Tara Strong’s hand while hiding my power level.

Twilight: Wasn’t she that lady you drew with the large mammary glands?

M: Yeah, that one.

S: How do you spell mammary…and ‘plutawnic’.

Simultaneously: Leave it blank Spike.

TS: He’s just a baby dragon. He’ not too good with larger words.

M: Long story short; I had to give up EVERYTHING, just to end up in a world where I’m not welcomed, and an existence I’m constantly questioning. The only thing that made things bearable was Fluttershy. She’s an amazing friend.

TS: Wait, what do you even have to question?

M: You wouldn’t understand. It involves a lot of philosophy and the relative perception of reality.

Twilight gives me the most serious look possible.

TS: Don’t doubt my intellect Anon.

M: Sorry.

Better watch myself, I’m dealing with a bad@$$ over here.

M: Continue with your questions.

TS: How was your experience in Canterlot?

M: Pretty good; Lots of working out. Became good friends with the guards. Luna and Celestia were nice.

TS: Anything noteworthy? There were a couple of rumors that-

M: Nope, nothing. Just a lot of exercise and playing cards with Luna late at night.

TS: Are you sure?

M: Mmmhmm.

Straight face champion 2012.

TS: Well okay then. Last question, how do you feel about your life in Equestria now that you’ve spent an entire month here?

M: Honestly, I think things have gotten a lot better. It took a ton of time, but the ponies around here have really warmed up to me. I can actually walk up to a pony without them running in fear, I don’t think I have anyone conflicting with me, and best of all, I actually have friends now. Real, legitimate friends. I didn’t think it was possible, but I think I can finally say that I’m happy with living in Equestria. I’ll be a lot happier though when my arm gets better.

Twilight laughs a little.

TS: You sure can take a beating Anon.

M: Hehe, thanks.

TS: I don’t think I have anything else left. Thank you for your time Anon. [To Spike] This concludes our retrospective interview with Anonymous the Human. You can stop writing now Spike.

S: Thank goodness. My claws were killing me.

TS: You better ice those wrist then, we’re going to interview Fluttershy tomorrow.

Spike sighs in frustration.

TS: Anon, you still need to add those names.

M: Oh yeah.

I take a card from Twilight to fill out the names of my friends like I said I would.

M: There ya go.

TS: Thank you. Also, there was something else I wanted to ask, but it wasn’t really related to the retrospect.

M: Ask away.

TS: Well, there have been many rumors and multiple stories involving humans; ‘The Human Conspiracy of Baltimare’, ‘The Tale of the Human Apocalypse’, ‘The Well of Dream Valley’.

M: Get to the point please.

TS: Have you ever heard of Equestria, or have you possibly read a story in your world about a human in Equestria?

M: I can’t say that I have, in fact I bet I’m the only human to even know about this place now.

Once again, I’m the champion.

TS: Aww, that’s disappointing, oh well. [To Spike] We need to interview the girls, and then this retrospect will be complete.

M: Consider getting the Sweetie too, and maybe Zecora.

TS: Why Zecora?

M: She saved my life making her instantly important. Besides, she knows junk involving humans in her homeland. It might help your studies.

Twilight’s eyes widen excitedly.

TS: I didn't know that.

Awkward silence.

M: Welp, since this interviews over, I’m going to head back to Fluttershy’s.

I shake her hoof, and squat down to high five Spike.

M: Hope you two have a nice day.

I head out of the library and stroll on home only to be stopped by Pinkie in the streets.

Pinkie: Hi Anon!

Myself: Hey Pinkie.

I continue walking, and Pinkie soon follows behind.

PP: How’s your arm doing?

M: Still needs to heal.

PP: Oh…

She looks really disappointed.

M:…I can still play though, even with a slinged arm.

PP: *gasp* Really!

Instant smile.

M: Sure.

PP: That’s great news!

Pinkie gallops of and yells in the distance.

PP: I’ll see you tomorrow Anon!

What an adorable pony.

I continue strolling until I finally make it home.

As I open the door, I see Fluttershy having tea with a pair of ponies I’ve not familiarized myself with, along with a few birds, Manouri the mouse, and Angel Bunny (because that b#%&h includes himself all the time). There’s a unicorn colt with gray fur, curvy blue hair, and a telescope cutie mark, and an earth mare with an aqua mane, orange fur, and raindrops as a cutie mark.

Fluttershy: Anon, you’re home. Care for a cup of tea?

Myself: Hey Fluttershy, I’d love some tea.

I move to the table, take a seat, and grab myself a cup of tea.

I look to the mysterious colt that begins speaking.

Colt: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Star Bright, this beautiful mare next to me is Raindrops.

Raindrop giggles a little.

Raindrops: Star Bright, you’re embarrassing me.

She shoves him slightly.

M: So what brings you two here?

Rain: Well, Starry told me that he wanted to give you a gift for some reason.

Star: [To Raindrops] I really like Anon, and I thought he would appreciate a little something from one of his fans. [To Me] You wouldn’t mind me giving you something, right?

M: I guess not.

Star Bright uses his green magic to levitate a small box to me.

Star: Well go on, open it.

I open the box, and inside I see a glowing gem with a green so dark I mistook it for black.

Myself: Woah. What kind of gem is this?

Star Bright: I have no idea. It might just be a worthless rock. Give it to somepony else if you want. I’d understand.

He sounds surprisingly okay with that.

Star Bright gets up and heads to the door, Raindrop quickly follows.

Star: We’ve spent enough time here, thank you for the delicious tea Mrs. Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: Of course.

Raindrops: Have a nice day.

They finally depart.

        I pull up the gem to further examine it. It’s very unusual. Maybe it’s something from the Everfree Forest. I should have Rarity examine it later, but not now, I want to spin this time having tea with Fluttershy.

Myself: Please pass the sugar.

Hummingway drops a cube of sugar in my cup.

M: Thank you.

As I sip my jasmine lotus, I notice an opened envelope at the corner of the table. It has a stamp on it that looks like Filthy Rich’s cutie mark.

M: Did Filthy Rich send us mail?

Fluttershy begins to choke on her tea trying to get her words out.

F: *cough* Oh my! *cough cough* I *cough* forgot-

Angel smacks her back and she coughs a bit more before stopping.

M: Jeez Fluttershy, are you okay!?

F: I forgot about your letter after you were kidnapped.

M: Well what’s the big deal *sip*.

F: You’re supposed to play a song for the party.

M: WHAT!? *cough cough*

Angel rolls his eyes as I chock on my tea, and hops over to smack my back.

F: Filthy Rich said that Diamond told him that someone told her from school that she knew someone who you told that you could play guitar to. And she said that she wanted AT LEAST one song performed.

I bring my fingers to my forehead.

M: You gotta be kidding me. I only have two and a half days!

F: I’m sorry Anon, I should’ve told you sooner. Do you know anything by heart?

M: Maybe a couple of songs, but I’d still need to practice them. *sigh*  Does Pinkie have a guitar?

F: She has a lot of instruments, so maybe.

Pinkie: Sorry, I don’t.

M: WHAT THE HECK!?!?!?

Fluttershy squeks fearfully.

F:…Pinkie...What are you doing here?

PP: I wanted to make sure you were available tomorrow so we could ALL go out and play in the park.

F: I’m available.

PP: Great! I better see the others to see if they can come too.  I’ll see you guys later.

She begins to skip off.

M: Wait.

Head turn.

PP: Yeees?

M: Do you know anyone who has a guitar I could borrow?

PP: I know everypony in Ponyville. Of course I know somepony! I just need to find them.

M: Great.

PP: Buy guys.

M: Goodbye.

F: Have a nice day.

Pinkie departs.

M: God speed Pinkie…*sip*