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CJ's Autistic Adventures in College (UPDT: 9/05/2013)

By: Creeper-Jones on Sep 5th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 6.59 KB  |  hits: 36  |  expires: Never
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  1. Creeper Jone's Autistic Adventure's in College
  2.  
  3. 8/15/13
  4. >Be Creeper Jones.
  5. >Be ambiguous year in ambiguous college.
  6. >Pre-popular self, trying to find his place in the world.
  7. >Both roomates total jocks.
  8. >Hiding power level like a champ.
  9.  
  10. >Walking through exploring college.
  11. >See lanky guy with Derpy Hooves t-shirt.
  12. >Not my cup of tea, but a breath of fresh air to see someone who’s into MLP.
  13. >Casually say when passing, “Nice shirt.”
  14. >Suddenly turns, and in a completely serious tone asks me, “You want one?”
  15. >“N-nah, I’m good.”
  16. >No spaghetti spilt, no shame for anyone, I walk away like nothing happened.
  17.  
  18. 8/24/13
  19. >Be me, about a week later.
  20. >At a college fair.
  21. >AWSNAPTHEYGOTAMECHANICALBULL!
  22. >Guy comes from behind and asks if I’m planning on riding.
  23. >Tell him, “eventually,” and he suggest doing the Velcro bounce wall on the other side of the fair.
  24. >Begins telling story about his crotch getting stuck on the Velcro.
  25. >Calls it “pelvic power”.
  26. >Wut?
  27. >Decide to do it in an effort to get away from this guy
  28. >Pretty fun, I’d give it an 8.8.
  29. >Quickly realize when coming down, he followed me.
  30. >Guy is unavoidable somehow.
  31. >After an hour, I see him again, when we pass a statue of a knight on a horse.
  32. >He mentions his teacher made it.
  33. >“Ya don’t say?”
  34. >Tells me, to bro fist the horse, since it’s hoof is neck to me.
  35. >Sure why not?
  36. >Suddenly, “YOU ARE NOW ONE WITH THE BRONIES!”
  37. >Rips his button clip shirt open, revealing his pale, shirtless chest, with a lanyard covered in mlp pins, pendants, and accessories.
  38. >ClarkKentAintGotShitOnMe.jpg
  39. >Suddenly realize, this is the same guy who had the Derpy Hooves shirt.
  40. >Eyes widen, anticipating pure autism.
  41. >No surprise, when it happens.
  42. >Spend the next 20 minutes thinking of how to get out, but gradually reveal my knowledge without dropping pasta.
  43. >Don’t want to seem rude, and I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.
  44. >That strange feel when it ends with us having a meaningful conversation about the show, and a lot of the depressing undertones of Twilight, Spike, Celestia, and Trixie.
  45. >Even more surprisingly, he didn’t recognize me even though, I’m the only other black guy at this college, and my voice is recognizably deep. His subconscious just sort of gravitated to me.
  46. >Not sure if I want this guy as a friend or not.
  47.  
  48. 8/25/13
  49. >Next day.
  50. >“Oh boy, I can’t wait to act like a lazy fatass and eat until I’m sick at the cafeteria.”
  51. >It ain’t my fault, I only have one actual meal a day. Dinner is this time, and everything else is light snacking.
  52. >Go to cafeteria.
  53. >Closed because of a “Welcome Back Luau” happening in honor of the seniors.
  54. >Eat there or starve…eat or starve…well, of to the Luau.
  55. >Go to Luau.
  56. >Get some food.
  57. >Drop spaghetti trying to hula hoop.
  58. >Get more food.
  59. >Jesus Christ, it’s that brony guy again!
  60. >How did you find me?!
  61. >Begin awkward conversation.
  62. >Guy introduces me to his “pegasisters”
  63. >Both not so fat that there disgusting, but just fat enough to have that chubby chaser, pillowy status that makes me wanna stick my hands into them.
  64. >I’d hit them twice nightly.
  65. >“This is my friend ‘Creeper Jones’. He’s a brony too.
  66. >Hnnnnn.
  67. >Disguise, “I ain’t that autistic,” as “4chan doesn’t allow that word to be used,” and explain why.
  68. >At least they (probably) won’t call me a brony if they find me again, which I’m sure they will.
  69. >Begin talking with girls.
  70. >Have conversation about my roommate having quiet awkward sex below my bunch after a nap, without realizing I was still on the top bunk, quietly on the laptop with headphones on. (I had to move around and clack the keys like a mofo to alert them…and it only resulted in them continuing even more quietly after a few mumbles…I left after a very awkward three minutes on the top bunk.)
  71. >Just as awkward, and they are most comfortable talking with each other.
  72. >One of the girls mentions how pony ears are her cutest accessory.
  73. >Suddenly, spontaneous conversation about furries.
  74. >One has the fursona of a cat, the other of a fox.
  75. >OH GOD WHAT?!
  76. >Desperate to change the conversation topic, I switch over to what OTHER shoes the guys like.
  77. >They mention anime, and one of the girls actually runs the otaku club of our college.
  78. >They now want me to join.
  79. >…I dunno what I’m gonna do.
  80.  
  81. 9/05/13
  82. >Next week.
  83. >I’ve got seven years of violin playing under my belt, and not a single string group on campus that I know about.
  84. >Find out they were going to have all of the clubs on display in the quadrangle.
  85. >This is my chance to see every radical club available (and only join two or three), buuut.
  86. >“Hey Creeper, you should join us at the anime club.”
  87. >Can’t drop spaghetti with the Brony Bunch, but I can’t miss this opportunity.
  88. >Decide to get stealthy.
  89. >Put on the jacket I’ve only worn once on campus.
  90. >It stands out with its contrasting black and white scheme, but it’s the best option I got.
  91. >80 degrees outside. Screw it, hood up.
  92. >Feeling like Ezio Auditore.
  93. >People lucky they ain’t get stabbed.
  94. >Stroll through groups with my head down.
  95. >No orchestra, no string groups, no nothing.
  96. >Join the art club, because it’s what I do #SAAiE.
  97. >Continue through the many clubs, eventually getting close to reaching full circle.
  98. >Finally, only a few booths from the end, I see the sparkles, and chibi plushies of the anime club in the nearby distance.
  99. >It’s being led by one of the two girls I mentioned. She has blonde hair.
  100. >I get quiet.
  101. >Head down, hood covering as much as possible.
  102. >I begin walking around the pillar, and with a small group of people.
  103. >Going to make a massive circle away and back to recheck clubs.
  104. >Come on, gotta blend!
  105. >Suddenly, knife through the throat. The Templars role in their grave yuckin' it up.
  106. >“Creeper? Creeper! Get over here!”
  107. >Did I mention I’m one of three black guys in a university of at least 1200?
  108. >Slowly and awkwardly turn my head, with the biggest poop face grin possible.
  109. Heeeeeey.
  110. >“Creeper, you promised you’d join.”
  111. >I did?
  112. >Darn it, I think I might have said, “I’ll think about it,” but I can’t back out now. I’ll look like the biggest ass if I don’t at least sign my name.
  113. >Take my walk of shame to the list.
  114. >Name.
  115. >FB.
  116. >What the heck is…oh, it’s facebook.
  117. >Ha ha, no.
  118. >E-mail.
  119. >Shamefully write my campus e-mail.
  120. >There was no orchestra, I’m now a member of the Otaku Club, and you wanna know the worst part…I actually walked back to correct my miswritten e-mail.
  121. >Mr. Bones rapes my anus as I walk back to my dorm to proof read my Aussie Anon chapter.
  122. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2rwxs1gH9w