Four Cannon Journal

Drew's log

Day 1

I went to sleep last night not expecting anything eventful to happen

Imagine my surprise to wake up the next day in a fictional place called Canterlot, as a pastel Colored Mare, among countless others, Assuming this was some sort of lucid dream I went with it, Noticing that everyone around me was a Blank Flank, and A little looking and I saw I was one as well, then I tried to walk, and fell on my face

Everyone else was too, It seems that everyone around me had just entered this world too, something was wrong, this was all too consistent, to many little things, this wasn't a dream, Realizing that I was now separated from all my stuff, my Life, my form, my sex, and pretty much everyone I ever knew, I had a breakdown in the grass crying....

 

After an Hour I was out of tears but still felt like shit, most folks around me had been in similar condition, To my ad I assume everyone's collective shock/relief The Royal Sisters showed up, with of all things a very nervous looking Fausticorn, As questions were asked we found out the correlation, everyone who ever posted on the 4chan board known as /mlp/ had been transported and transformed.

 

Those that could get their bearings fastest were put on a Train to a plot of land up north by a place called Neighagra, Celestia and Luna were fully happy to welcome us to Equestria, however we were over 200,000 strong, that much population needs to be in a new town, on the topic of sending us home, Celestia says that no known magic exists that could accomplish what had happened, let alone reverse it, by all accounts our appearance should be impossible. As for us we are to stay here while the next train comes during which some trainers help us learn to walk, volunteers will be coming to the town to help us set up and keep training us in flight and magic, not sure what an earth pony like me is going to learn.

 

Day 2

Spent the day Working out walking and other basics, I can actually run now, Heard rumors that morons were making attacks on the sisters and that they were being killed for it, apparently everyone who ever poste includes bots, Fausticorn is trying to serve as a middleman (middlemare?) for our group and Equestria.

 

Met a Unicorn calling himself Rook, probably not his real name, possibly an internet handle or something, many of the other's seem intent on picking a pony names for themselves, Rook seems nice enough, then he mentions that he has a confirmed friend that came with him, I'm about to congratulate him when he elaborates that she lives in his head, Rook it seems was a Tulpa fag, questioning his sanity, especially with all the crazy shit going on, I continued talking because he seemed polite and even if he was crazy it would at least be entertaining, He Calls the little brain daemon Crysta (claims she named herself) and described her as like a robotic Mantis, well points for creativity at least.

 

Food is alright, it seems ponies are omnivorous but with a vegetarian preference, Hay Fries aren't quite like the fries I like but okay, Daffodils taste strangely of citrus, and dandelions are kind of honey like, other veggies I used to hate seem to be more palatable as well, bathrooms are well bathrooms, no changing that, but every use is another reminder of something missing. on the question of heat, we don't have to worry for about a year, as spring just passed us over, and it's said that it's not all consuming, and can be resisted with some discipline.

 

Day 3

I am finally considered ready to go out and help with the new town, so on the train I go, Rook is there and as the only guy I know in any capacity he's with me, The train is nice, first class cabins and such, with a snack vendor making her runs, she helped e with holding things in my forehooves and decided to braid my mane, odd but a relief, we went up the car to grab some work provisions, Found some sun glasses and a work vest, both useful, after years of always wearing my sunglasses I kinda need them during the day time. as for the vest, well I didn't want to be naked. Rook deflated me by pointing out I was still nude from the waist down.

 

on the way back to our cabin we noticed that some were locked, and heard noises, well I suppose the more impulsive of us would try shit sooner or later, at least they had the decency to try and be private about it, I did worry about the possibility of someone getting knocked up this soon.

 

We got off the train and saw our new hometown, to be named Four Cannon, Infrastructure is being set up, and jobs are in the making, so far housing is tentvill, but it'll get better I'm told, there is an embassy and a couple of bungalows for the magic, flight and earth skills lessons, saw bot looking Pony going into the woods, never found him, did find wild boar, looked angry, instinct took over I turned around and Bucked it straight in it's ugly face, I brought home the bacon literally, meanwhile Rook had picked out a plot of land to be out permanent house, not sure when we decided we were friends but I'm not complaining.

 

also apparently Train 2 was much less lucky, they claim it broke out into an all out orgy....

 

Day 4

Earth skill lessons, didn't recognize any of the volunteers, but I suppose we wouldn't be that lucky, Rook and I made some progress on the home, he claimed that Trixie was among the magic trainers, I was certain he was pulling my leg when I heard a mare rambling about how awesome it was that Trixie was their and how she wishes that she were still a stallion so he could court her and blah blah blah, I and a number of other anons all found ourselves simultaneously crying out "SHUT UP SETH" realizing what had just happened most of the town found itself in higher spirits to say the least.

 

Back at our soon to be home, Rook decided to formally introduce his Chalupa to me, channeling his horn he projected a sort of hologram of her, she wasn't solid and didn't speak but could grab things, apparently it was helping him work out telekinesis by acting as a focal point, still think he's a bit crazy, but if her movements were all just puppetry then it was damn skilled puppetry.

 

Beyond that I have two possible jobs, one with a sort of town safety inspection team, and another with a budding alchemist as a tester of sorts

 

Day 5

nothing much happened, heard that they found somepo-one petrified in the forest, mostly just worked on the house

 

Day 6

Rook and I decided to check out the Abandoned Diamond Dog Caverns below town for minerals, plumbing space, and possible structural weakness, the two of us(3? 2 1/2?) found the remains of some mining operations, a bucket of crystals, Quartz I think, and a handful of Petrified Diamond Dogs, seems that we have a very clear cut Cockatrice problem to deal with before we do anything, After the town was alerted plans were laid out for Mirror traps and the unicorn Trainers were told to have de-petrification spells prepared.

 

Day 7

Mirror Traps are still waiting, meanwhile I joined a little party of explorers looking for any mineral catches in the mountains, there was me, Cherenkov Light, Lucyne, Ikea Perfect, Swift Justice, Chinook, Rain Drop, and Schett Poschter, during which I pretty much failed most of the time, I got my Flank cut by a giant Crab, almost ruined negotiations with a bear (Rain remembered what show we're in), Blanked out to my old life for an hour, failed at fighting some big ass spiders, blanked out some more, jumped the gun on a possesed Rain due to some sort of Crystal thing, after missing out on fighting a flying vampire squid, and nearly got drowned by a giant fish monster that Rain Killed with a Dive bombing attack, so overall I left having gained nothing but existential worries and injuries, but we did find some Iron and Phosphorous.

 

Day 8

Me and some others went down into the caverns, We never recovered the Diamond Dog Statues, we now have doubts about the mines being easy to clear, But we killed two Cockatrices and managed to capture a baby, Rook Decided that adventuring isn't for him and is staying at home, much to his Tupper's consternation.

 

We elected a town council, I ran for the position of Quartermaster. lost a close race with Flippant Insurance, but she put me on HER council, so the only thing changing for me is answering to a higher level of authority, some annons started rambling about taking over Equestria like a bunch of dumbasses, Pretty sure they're just hot air but it was enough to make some of our citizens decide to go and find greener pastures, I wish they'd stayed.

 

Day 9

Today has been eventful

Rook and Crysta went out to help the Fa/tg/uys localise card games, Yu-gi-oh, Pokemon, Magic etc. Mean while I found myself in a shitstrom between Able, Lucyne and Nova, Able sees the world through Jade Glasses, Lucyne through Rose, and Nova.... well something else, she seems to have a good heart but she got under Lucyne's skin enough that she left for the day, Nova then began rambling conspiracy theories, then started hitting it off with Bacon Grease, now me and some others got into a debate on fertility, I went to the embassy to put in a request for some "preventative measures" to be included in our next supply package.

 

Later I met up with Rook again, we decided to wander the lip of the forest for a bit, and he found some poison joke, seriously he just fell in, and it switched him and Crysta, so now we have a Mechanical Praying Mantis, and a shimmery Unicorn...

 

I am out of whats to give.....

 

Day 10

Been having Mare Dreams, not unpleasant but there are mares and stallions in them, crap.

 

Chatted at the Inn's Bar, got a bit drunk, had a mini breakdown over the loss of my friends and family, later drunken cuddles with Rain Drop(but no further) ensued, had to bring her back to her house with a wobbly gait.

 

Checked in on Fa/tg/uys, most of the rules are hammered out, saw a bunch of Ponies trying to carve minis out of wood blocks, My life is now complete.

 

Shipment to arrive in the next couple days, I'm told it's not foolproof but we'll be able to control ourselves, Mostly....

 

Went back to bar to hang out, local gay zebra was able to help me with my orientation issues, I like what I like and there's nothing wrong with that, doesn't stop it from being weird, but I'll get over it with time.

 

Also found Poison Joke remedy for Rook in the last provisions shipment.

 

Day 11

Not much happened, A shipment of Cider Arrived from Sweet Apple Acres , Damn good stuff, Thank Applejack for us would you? Dusk (one of our aspiring guards) was kind of a drunken jerk constantly eating any meat he could get his hooves on, now going out and grabbing some fish, fin I guess, but eating the chicken we were saving and trying to steal Silver Tongue's fish, well the others at the inn and I had to intervene, he woke up glued to a bed.

 

If you are squeamish about our more personal issues you might not care to read this part.

Silver was suffering from the inability to Umm.... enjoy himself if you catch my meaning, I'm sure that with time he'll get a technique down, but Given his current difficulties, and My own anxieties that I'm trying to power through, I offered to help him with his problem, and good timing too, the manifest says the meds are coming in tomorrow, I'm not going to be like some cheap harlot, this will be done properly, with a nice date and meal in the evening to set a pleasant mood.

 

Anyway I hope this has been informative Sun Butt,

Sincerely Drew

 

Day 12

Finished building the House, We're officially Homeowners, more than I could say back on Earth.....

anyway, the Date with Silver Tongue went nicely, he seemed a bit attached but took my friends with benefits suggestion well, was very nice, Dinner was catfish followed by a piece of cake he said was made by Pinkie herself, I had forgotten that he had made the trips to Canterlot and Ponyville.

What followed eliminated any doubts I had about my mind or body, we clearly both needed that, I took some of those herbs so I should be fine, he seemed worried they might not work.

 

Day 13

New shipment of Townsfolks came in this morning, To my shock, a Unicorn Identifying by a name I knew was among them, After giving my name we confirmed, It was great, I held back some tears of joy and we hung out, Silver Tongue seems to have gotten an ego boost from last night, Not a bad thing as he was down in the dumps about himself, but he's getting rather full of himself now, Me and some others tested out a DnD system today, wasn't bad.