Title: Twilight Eats a Banana Author: CorporalPunishment Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/QPPDhBkC First Edit: Thursday 7th of March 2013 06:07:07 PM CDT Last Edit: Thursday 7th of March 2013 06:07:07 PM CDT Twilight Sparkle Eats a Banana     The alicorn princess, formally refered to as Princess Twilight Sparkle of Ponyville, Sat on her bed in her library humming as she read a book titled, The Fine Line Between Fire and Lightning: A Beginners Guide.  It was an odd book written in old equestrian, when suddenly she felt her stomach rumble, "Oh Spi-i-ike!" She called to her baby dragon assisstant, whom came running up the steps to her room, "Yeah, Twilight, Whattaya need?" he seemed out of breathe from his quick run, "I'm hungry... could you get me a banana?" She smiled and then went back to reading before calling agian, "If you do, I'll let you off early to see Rarity." she grinnned evilly to herself as she heard the dragon speed off at near mach 12, and came back with an entire bunch of bananas, "Here you go! and jeez, Twilight, you seem to have alot of bananas in the pantry... Is it normal?" Twilight then realized he was right, she had the strangest craving for bananas, cucumbers, and even cherries. It was odd for twilight, she never cared for any of those when she was just regular old twilight, but when she became a princess it was like her body needed these to live, "Yeah... Never noticed it... Oh well, go on to Rarity's before I change my--" She was cut off as spike had already closed the door to the Library. She giggled and magiced a banana over to her the long yellow fruit called to her stomach and she began to peel it, slowly the white fruit of it became visible and she moved it to her mouth and took a slow bite of it, just at the tip, munching away at the piece she had bitten off, savoring the taste as she chewed it slowly as she continued to read, nibbling across the flesh of the banana, her teeth skiming it as she swallowed the chewed bits, humming agian as she  began flipping through the pages, "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, sitting in a row, big ones, small ones some as big as your head..." _____________________________________________________________ Spike walked down the street as he left, "Jeez, Twilight is cool and all, but... bananas? That's just creepy." Spike mumbled to himself as he continued to walk. he passed Sugercube corner and then thought, 'A ruby coffee cake wouldn't hurt... would it? Nah, just a quick meal." Spike quickly walked in, "Hey Pinkie P--" He was cut off by a cotton candy pony picking him up and sitting him at a table, with waffles, pancakes, cakes, and gems sprinkled through it all, "Uhh Pinking how did you...?" He then shut up and decided to not question the magic that pinkie managed to harness and control as an earthpony. she then answered him, "WellmytailwenttwitcheywitcheywitchyandmynosewentcawunkytunkyandIcouldn'thelpbutfeelmytummygogrumblywumbleyandmyhairwentfwumpgwumppawumpadunamp! So I knew my favorite baby dragon was hungry and was coming to eat so I made food!" She giggled, and began to eat cupcakes in the same manner a vacuum eats dust bunnies, spike understood nothing but 'eat', so he gorged himself. "Uhhnn, Thanks for for the food Pinkie, but I gotta get going to see rarity, Bye." Pinkei smiled and waved as spike waddled away. "Bye spikie!" ______________________________________________________________ Spike's dragon stomach had already digested the food by now and he was coming up on the boutique when Rainbow Dash came down from sky and floated in a lazy circle around  spike, "Hey little guy, What's going on? Off to see Queen Diamond in her fortress of tassles?" She chuckled and patted spike on the shoulder with a hoof, "Just messin' with you actually before you are lost to the ages with Rarity... could I have a quick favor from you?" Spike huffed and looked at Rainbow, "Well... That depends--" Well looks like she didn't take no for an answer... or any answer at that! "Great! All I need you to do is hold a lightning rod up for me!" She then had spike dressed in metal made of a couple destroyed trash cans and hold a large steel pole up into the air. 'Why am I not running away?!' Spike's mind yelled at up but he couldn't move... he was too afraid of being cooked a la lightning! but then he found himself teleported out and found himself in Celestia's bedroom, still dressed in the trashcan armor and holding the big pole in hte air, "I Uhh, Dude, what?" He looked at the bed that Luna, Celestia and Cadence were all lieing on watching a chick-flick and crying, with a pile of banana peels, "Well... you know what, no... I quit. I QUIT!" He yelled and tossed his amror onto the bananas and walked out of hte room dropping the pole and walked to the train station. as he rode home he sighed and looked out the window, he had to fish a gem from his teeth and pay for the ticket with it. That one looked so tasty too...  but he had to sell it... and then bought a ticket... and then when he finally reached the station at Ponyville he started walking agian, and was stopped by Applejack, "Well, hey ther' sugercube, Whattaya doin' comin' from a train in the middle of th'ah day like this'un, Twiligh' got ya doin' som secret princess business fer'er?" Spike sighed and put a claw to the bridge of his nose, "Y'know what, I don't even know AJ... I don't even understand today... I was going to Rarity's for a quick chat... maybe make my moves... but I think I'm just gonna go take a- BURRRRGH!" He was interupted by a giant scroll and his armor and pole comging out of his mouth in a torrent of fire that scorched the eyebrows of AJ, The scroll read, "Dearest Spike the dragon, Please do not leave thine trash in our most wonderous castle, thou shalt be "punished" most 'severely' if thine transgressions continue, With a fond heart Princess Luna XOXO" Spike can't comprehend what he read so he sets it in the trash can along with his armor and walks away, "Bye AJ, I'm off to Rarity's." as he was half way there he saw Fluttershy leading a honeybadger away from the newest ponyville clothing store, wearing a fake leather jacket and a pair of sunglasses, "I know mister badger... You take what you want... but Oh, I know... Yes yes you cna keep the clothes." She was talking, spike just walked away from the scene and continued on towards the boutique as he opened the door, "Rarity!" He found himself in the dark with a sudden downpour of rain from outside. "Ugh.... Rarity?" From inside a light clicked on and Rarity sat at the desk in her boutique, speaking to a strange glowing screen, "Oh yes dahling, we should go on the round-a-bout trail to get to the end boss, I believe gormojack should be the first one to enter, Don't you agree?" She then clicked on things with a strange button thing, Wait... Spike saw one of these before... it was a computer they are used in Manehatten often, and some have games on them with other people, So... Rarity is playing with people on the outranet? "Uhh... Rarity?" Rarity then looked up and grinned at spike, "Oh... Spikey... do come in! would you like a hot pocket? They are simply delicious! Or perhaps a banana?" At that word spike just about faced and walked out, walking back to the library and going to bed, "No Twilight... I won't get you a banana...." he sighed and drifted off to sleep. ______________________________________________________________ MEANWHILE AT THE HALL OF JUSTICE! FORTI WAS WRITING HIS SUPER AWESEOM CELESTIA BLUEBLOOD SHIPFIC AND WAS TOTALLY JACKING IT WHILE WRITING SO HIS WRITING WAS SUFFERING SO BAD HIS NOSE FELL OFF AND HE ATE IT BECUASE IT FELL INTO HIS HUT POKET AND HE WAS LIKE "MANDAS R PAIN' AND THEN HIS ROOMATE RAN IN AND STARTING EATING COD LIVER OUT OF A BUCKET AND STARTED PUNCHING MANTEES I NTHE FACE! BUT THEN MORTI CLEMEXED AND GOT IT IN THE COD LIVE BUT HIS ROOMIE DUN CEAR AND KEPT EATING IT AND THEN ELVIS PRESLY AND PERRY MASON CAME IN AND STARTING HAVING A FIST FIGHT, PERRY WON BECUASE HE'S COOLER, ABDTUN A JIENT VIKNING CAME AND STARTED PILLAGING THE TOWN AND MADE BEER USING THE SETPEC PANK THAT MORI WAS SWINING IN AND THEN APARTHEID WAS UN-ABOLISHED AND THEN MOTI USED HIS JIANT CAN OF MANDA PAIN TO KILL THE VARKNARING AND START THE BEGINGING OF RAGNAROK AND THEN ENDING IT BECUASE HE KILLED LOWKEY AND STARTED USING MONKEYS AS JAIL ABD TUTN NELSON MANDELA KILLED GDZILLA WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICKED HE LEARNED FORM LIAM NEESON WHEN HE (Nelson Mandela) wAS SHOOTING 'SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION' AND THEN MORGAN FREEMAN CAME IN AND UN-ABOLISHED APARTHEID AND RECLAIMED HIS THRONE AS THE FRESH PRINCE OF BELLE AIR, BUT THEN JACKIE CHANG SHOT CHUCK NORRIS IN HIS GIANT GORRILLA NIPPLES AND CHOCKED HIS OWN DAUGHTER OUT WITH HIS BUTT CHEEKS,       And Liam read this thinking all the while, in his posh south korean accent, "Is jorti drunk?" and yes.... yes he is. I love you Liam... Have my babies!