Ponyville Apartments: A Foal And Her Gems

> "So, did you get everything on your list?"

"Let me check," says Twilight. "Yep! That about does it. Thanks for helping us out, Rarity!"

"Anytime, darling. I must say that these 'supermarkets' are amazing! I haven't seen such a comprehensive selection of goods since I last visited Canterlot."

> "That's great. Any trouble with the cashier, Twilight?"

"Well, not really," says Twilight. "I'm still not used to human currency. You have so many different types of paper bills and coins."

"But don't you think that the designs are simply exquisite?" says Rarity. "Just look at the detail!"

> "I suppose," I reply. "Guess I never really considered it before."

> Though I find it refreshing to watch such reactions to human money.

> So innocent and honest. Just sad that people get killed over it.

> I glance at my watch.

> "Looks like we have time to spare. Any place you two want to visit before we head back?"

"No thanks," says Twilight. "I'm fine for today. How about you, Rarity?"

"Well, there is one thing. Would it be alright if we take a look at some nearby shops?"

"I don't really mind, but..."

> Twilight turns to me. Eh? What did I think?

> For some reason, she looks rather worried.

> On the other hand, Rarity gives me this pleading look.

> Hmm, well...

> I do suppose that she has been a good girl today.

> A little reward wouldn't hurt.

> I smile at Rarity and nod.

> "We can probably pass by that boutique at the corner, if you like."

 

---

 

"Twilight, dear? Can you come in here and help me put this on?"

"Oh, Rarity! Can't you just alter the spell to mimic the dress?"

"Of course not. I need to see how this dress actually looks and feels. A mental design is just as complex as the real thing, you know."

"Ugh, fine. Let me see that..."

> I glance over curiously as Twilight enters the changing room.

> Come to think of it, I've never seen Twilight's human form.

> For some reason, I'm unaffected by the illusion spell the ponies use.

> But if the glances they were getting earlier were any indication,

> I'd say she's quite easy on the eye.

> Since Rarity wasn't the only one grabbing attention.

> Hmm, maybe I should take a quick look and-

> "..."

> Wait, what? What the hell? How did that even pop up?

> I quickly shake off the thought.

> There wouldn't be any point peeking on them.

> I can only see their human forms through Rarity's special mirror.

> And even if I could, don't forget.

> These girls are still ponies.

"Thanks a lot, Twilight. I think I'll wear this one on the way back. It is surprisingly comfortable, and I like its style."

"Uh, sure. I still don't see the point of it, since you had to alter the spell anyway."

"Dresses are meant to be worn, Twilight. Worn."

 

---

 

> "Only three dresses? I don't get it. You tried out so many."

"It's the quality that matters," Rarity explains. "Not the quantity. Anyone can make a dress, but it takes talent to create 'Art'."

> Twilight nudges me from the side.

"Just nod and smile," she whispers. "Don't worry. I don't get it, either."

> As advised, I politely nod to Rarity in agreement.

"Miss?" interrupts the cashier. "Would you like me to wrap these for you?"

"Ah, yes please! But would you mind if I wore this one right now? It is positively lovely~"

"Sure, miss. Just let me deactivate the tag... like so."

"Thank you very much," says Rarity. "Now let me take care of the payment to your good establishment."

> The white pony opens her purse and glances inside.

> Her eyes open in surprise for a bit.

"Hmm. Well isn't this strange," she mutters.

> She starts rummaging through her bag more quickly.

> But still, nothing. She looks flustered.

> Twilight sighs and smiles politely at the cashier.

"Excuse us for a moment."

> She quickly pulls Rarity and I aside.

 

---

 

"What do you mean you forgot to bring money!?" cries Twilight.

> Her voice causes a few bystanders to stare.

> Good thing the cashier didn't hear us.

> Well, either that or she is politely pretending not to hear.

"Oh, don't get your tail in a knot!" says Rarity. "As I said, I simply brought the wrong purse when we left this morning."

"Rarity! I only brought enough money for the groceries! How are we going to pay for the dresses?"

> I sigh loudly. My wallet didn't have much, either.

> But I was never the type to ignore a damsel in distress.

> "Take it easy, girls. I can pay-"

> Suddenly, Rarity covers my mouth with a hoof.

"Not another word," she says.

> "But..."

"I appreciate your chivalry, but a lady must always act gracefully."

"Are you sure, Rarity?" says Twilight. "How are you going to pay?"

"Oh, Twilight! You make it sound like this is going to be hard."

> Rarity starts walking back to the cashier.

"Apologies, but I seem to have forgotten my wallet."

"I see," replies the cashier. "Then, you'll be returning the dresses?"

"Oh, of course not!" says Rarity. "That would be quite rude and unbecoming of a lady."

> She turns to her purse and grabs something small and shiny.

"I'll be paying for the dresses with these, instead."

> My eyes widen in shock and awe. The whole shop goes silent.

> Rarity just dropped several diamonds and rubies into the cashier's hand.

 

---

 

"B-b-buh!"

> The cashier's jaw drops, and she starts muttering incoherently.

> There must be enough gems in that pile to afford a small island!

> Rarity, however, looks unperturbed.

"Is it not enough?" she asks. "Sorry, but I'm not familiar with the exchange rate in this city."

> The cashier looks back at her, dumbfounded.

"S-sorry, Miss! B-but I don't think we can accept-"

> Suddenly, a man dressed in a fancy suit pops out from the back room.

> Looks like he is the owner of the establishment.

> The cashier holds out the pile of gems towards him.

> He walks up to the cashier, and takes one diamond from the pile.

> Then, he pulls out a jewelry magnifying lens to examine it.

> His eyes widen for a moment. Then he turns to Rarity.

"Yes, we will accept this as payment," he says. "This single gemstone is more than sufficient."

> He nods to the cashier, who quickly returns the rest of the gems.

"Oh, thank goodness!" says Rarity. "I was afraid that I didn't bring enough with me."

"Pardon me," says the owner. "But you misunderstood. I meant that this diamond is sufficient payment for all of the dresses currently on display. We can have them delivered at your convenience."

"All of the dresses? Oh, no, no, no! I'm perfectly fine with just these three."

"Just those three?" cries the owner. "B-but, Miss!"

"No need to worry," says Rarity. "You may keep the change, as it were."

 

---

 

> Upon learning that she could pay with gems, Rarity insists on visiting the rest of the shops in the area.

> Word gets around quickly, and all of the nearby shops welcome us like celebrities.

> A diamond for a pair of shoes.

> A ruby for a fancy hat.

> "Keep the change," she says again.

> Two hours later, I find myself carrying a few extra bags and packages.

"Can we go home, Rarity?" says Twilight. "I think you've bought enough for today."

"After we visit that shop. Those scarves on display are absolutely lovely!"

> She excitedly runs off ahead of us.

> Twilight sighs and turns to me.

"Sorry about having you carry all her bags."

"No problem. I'm actually surprised she didn't buy all that much."

"Yeah. Rarity is really picky when it comes to clothes and fashion."

> I decide not to mention the huge gap between the pony and human perception of value.

> We have gathered a fair amount of attention already as it is.

> But I'm fairly certain that ponies consider gemstones much less valuable than we humans do.

> Perhaps gemstones are more common in Equestria?

> In any case, I can ask Twilight about it later.

 

---

 

> Twilight and I wait patiently as Rarity checks out the shop.

"I really don't get her fascination with human fashion."

> "Yeah. Neither do I."

> But now that I think about it, Twilight hasn't bought anything for herself.

> "Hmm. Why don't you look around, too? No need to hang around with me."

"That isn't necessary," she says. "I don't keep up with fashion and trends."

> "Then have Rarity pick something out for you."

"I'd rather not bother her about it."

> "Why not? She offered several times today. Rather than bother her, I'd think that she'd enjoy it."

"Y-yeah, she probably would."

> "Then?"

"..."

> Twilight sighs and lowers her voice.

"I enjoy books. I study magic. But I'm not exactly the prettiest pony in the park, you know."

> She sighs again and gives me a sad look.

> Yep, I've seen that face on a few of my students before.

> Especially the studious ones.

> "Well, that's a shame," I say aloud.

"Eh?"

> I ruffle her mane playfully and give her a gentle smile.

> "I'm no expert on ponies, but you look pretty cute to me."

> Twilight just blushes in reply.

 

---

 

"And we're finally done!" cries Twilight. "I can't wait till we get home!"

> "Yep. Just in time for dinner. So, who's cooking tonight?"

"Rainbow volunteered today, oddly enough."

> "Rainbow Dash? Didn't she almost set the place on fire last time?"

"Don't worry. Applejack said that she'd watch over her."

> "That's good to hear. Which reminds me, last night's pasta was excellent, Rarity."

"..."

> "Uh, Rarity?"

> I turn around to see that she isn't following us.

"That's strange," says Twilight. "Why would she stop without telling us?"

> I get a bad feeling.

> Should have taught them about mobile phones.

> "Let's trace our steps and find her."

"Alright."

> Twilight and I head back the way we came.

> A suspicious man is talking to Rarity.

> Then, I see it.

> "RARITY! Get away from there!"

> But it is too late.

> A black van pulls over beside Rarity.

> The man covers her mouth and grabs her by the waist.

> He carries her inside the van. And the van drives off.

 

---

 

"What do you mean, just wait!?" cries Twilight.

> "I need to make a quick call."

"Rarity just got FOALNAPPED! We need to go after her!"

> "No way are we going to catch up to them on foot."

> I keep focused on my mobile phone. I don't really want to do this.

> But there isn't much choice. Just hope that he'd pick up.

"Are you just going to stand there?"

> Ah, good. I still had his number. Who knew this would come in useful?

> But chasing after kidnappers? This will probably not end well.

"Or are you ignoring all this just because she isn't human?"

> I quickly dial the number and hold the phone to my ears.

> "Yeah, yeah. Hold on..."

"Just because she's a pony!?"

> "Hello? Is this -"

"UGH! I've had it! I'm going to go save Rarity!"

> "Yes, it's been a long time. And yes, I haven't forgotten-"

"With or without your help!"

> "Anyway, the reason I called is that I need-"

"- so just rot here, you damn dirty APE!"

> "Sure, Twilight. Wait, what?"

> The purple pony starts galloping in the direction of the black van.

> No time to explain. I focus my attention back on the phone.

> "Yes, that's right. I need to call in a big favor."

 

---

 

> A few minutes later, a yellow taxicab pulls up in front of me.

> The car window lowers, revealing a familiar face.

"Long time no see, professor!"

> "Didn't I tell all of my students never to call me that?"

"Of course you did. And that's exactly why we do, professor."

> I shake my head as I get in the cab.

> The driver eyes the bags I'm carrying and smiles widely.

"Never thought you for a cross-dresser, professor."

> "Huh? Oh these. They belong to a friend."

"Oh, sure. Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me, professor."

> "Never mind. Did you check up on the vehicle description I sent you?"

> He suddenly stops smiling.

"Yep. Word is that the van belongs to the east side gangs."

> "So the east side are into kidnapping now?"

"Hell, no!" says the driver. "They only deal in drugs and guns. But I heard that some idiots jacked one of their vans just a couple of hours ago."

> "Oh, wow."

> I cover my face and shake my head.

> "Let's just try to catch up to them before the gangs arrive."

"Sure thing, professor."

> "And one last thing - you still never explained to me why a neurobiology major would drop out of college to be a professional cab driver."

> He only smiles at me mysteriously.

 

---

 

"Unhand me, this INSTANT!" cries Rarity.

> She raises her hoof threateningly at her captors.

> Two humans. Even by human standards, their fashion sense is absolutely dreadful!

> One of them holds her down forcefully against the back seat.

"Ain't that cute?" he says. "Yer not afraid of us, are ye?"

> The other one is seated up front. He takes a glance at the rear view mirror.

> Rarity shudders as he gives her the dirtiest smile.

"Hmmm, have a gander at this little beauty!" says the driver. "Maybe we should have a little fun with her, first."

"No kiddin!" replies the other one. "Ye gotta have a feel of her skin, man! I've never felt anythin' so soft! It's so SOFT, man!"

> Their eyes remind Rarity of crazed stallions in heat.

> She gasps, realizing that they don't know that she's a pony.

"How dare you!" she whispers. "To even consider doing such... dirty human things to a lady!"

"That's the least of your problems," answers the driver. "You're worth a king's ransom to small time criminals like us."

"Hell yeah!" adds the other one. "We'll be billionaires! That's like, 10 times a million, man!"

"So just tell us your rich father's name. I'm sure he's some CEO or Arabian prince, considering all those jewels in your purse."

> They would dare break the law and foalnap someone in broad daylight?

> What is wrong with these humans? And all this fuss over a few gemstones?

 

---

 

"Damn, man! She's like, SO SOFT!"

> The human beside Rarity starts rubbing his cheek against her leg.

> Oh, that is the last straw!

"GET OFF ME, YOU BRUTE!" she screams.

> Rarity swings her free hoof right at his face.

> It connects with his nose. A sickening crunch echoes inside the van.

> The human lets go of her and backs off.

"FUCK, MAN! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!"

"Hey!" cries the driver. "What the hell's going on back there?"

"FUCK! SHE JUST BROKE MY NOSE! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!"

> Rarity rubs her hoof painfully. Human faces are harder than they look.

> She'll need to check if she ruined her pedicure later.

"Serves you right," says Rarity. "Now you better let me go, right now! Or else, you'll be-"

> Suddenly, the injured human points something strange at her.

> A handheld device with a long hollow tube.

"OH, YOU GONNA GET IT NOW, BITCH. I'M GOING TO BLOW YER BRAINS OUT!"

"Holy shit, don't you dare shoot her!" shouts the driver. "We need her alive to get any ransom, remember!?"

"B-BUT!"

"Keeping her under control is your job! I'd like to think that a big lug like you can do that without a gun!"

"UGH, DAMN IT!"

> He lowers his hand slightly. Rarity's eyes twinkle at this chance.

> So, they want her alive, do they?

> As Applejack would say:

"ONE LIVELY LADY, COMING RIGHT UP!" cries the angry pony.

 

---

 

> "How much further is it?"

"Just a few more blocks. Don't worry, professor! They're sure to slow down as they approach the main intersection."

> This former student of mine is among the fastest cab drivers in the city.

> Rumor has it that he could get you from the west side to the east in less than half an hour.

> That is, if you offered a big enough tip. And now that I, oh shi-

> I cringe as a truck pops out from a blind corner.

"What's wrong, professor?" he says with a grin. "Not used to a little 'speed'?"

> "Err, yeah," I manage.

> Damn, this guy's crazy! His reflexes even more so!

> In fact, he somewhat reminds me of Rainbow Dash.

> Those two would probably hit it off right away.

> "..."

> And for the safety of the citizens of this city, I solemnly swear that I shall do everything in my power to make sure that they never meet.

"Woah! Look at that cutie!"

> He raises one hand to point at someone along the sidewalk.

> Hey, isn't that-

> "Turn around! I know that pon-err, girl!"

 

---

 

> I hold out my hand to her. Twilight looks at it, still unsure.

"Y-you!?" she cries. "But I thought-"

> "Get in if you want to save your friend," I said.

"What? You're actually going to help us?"

> "Of course, I am. I wouldn't be much of an apartment manager if I'd lose any of my precious tenants, now would I?"

"I-I don't understand..."

> Seems like I have to explain this in a way she could relate.

> I cleared my throat and spoke in my classroom lecture voice.

> "A famous human poet once said, 'The world only goes round by misunderstanding.' Now tell me, Miss Twilight - how do you apply this to our current situation?"

> It takes her only a few moments.

> She slowly smiles, wipes off her tears and takes my hand.

> And with one more passenger, we drive off.

"Sweet line, professor!" cries the driver. "Is this how you used to pick up those smart girls back at the university?"

> Twilight suddenly blushes beet red.

> I shake my head dismissively.

> "Ahahaha! NO. And shouldn't you be keeping your eyes on the road?"

"Sure professor. Just one problem."

> He pushes a button to turn on the radio.

> Sounds like the police band. How is this relevant to-

> Then I hear it. An accident a couple of blocks away.

> A black van just crashed into a utility pole.

 

---

 

> We arrive at the scene. The black van is badly smashed.

> It looks like it ran straight at the utility post without braking.

> A familiar white unicorn pony with purple hair walks away from it.

"Rarity!" cries Twilight. "What happened!? Are you alright?"

> The purple pony jumps out of the vehicle. I quickly follow behind her.

"Hello, Twilight!" says Rarity. "You arrived just in time to assist me."

"B-but your hooves! They're all bloody!"

> The unicorn pony glances at them, as if noticing it for the first time.

"So they are!" she says calmly. "But not to worry! This isn't anything that a good pedicure can't fix. And besides, this isn't MY blood."

> She gives us the loveliest smile as she speaks.

> A few seconds pass as I take in what she just said.

> Hello, brain? Remind me never to piss off this pony.

> "Uh, right then. So what do you need our help for?"

"With those," Rarity says.

> She points her hoof at the black van.

> From the windows, I can see two human figures.

> They aren't moving.

> "Err, you aren't planning to eat them, are you?"

"Of course not," she says. "Those two need medical attention."

"Are you crazy!?" cries Twilight. "They're FOALNAPPERS! We should just leave them and-"

> Rarity puts a hoof to her mouth, silencing her.

"We're helping them, Twilight. No excuses."

 

---

 

> Not sure if I should be impressed at Rarity's principles,

> Or worried that she is suffering from Stockholm syndrome.

> But either way, I'm not arguing against a pony who just beat the hell out of two full grown men with her bare hooves.

> After a few minutes, we manage to drag them out into the street.

"Good work!" says Rarity. "And the ambulance?"

"I've already called for one," says our driver. "They'll be here in five minutes."

"We probably should get going," says Twilight. "We don't want to be here when the authorities arrive."

> I nod in agreement. We should hurry back and-

"Ugh..."

> One of the kidnappers slowly regains consciousness.

> A big but dull-looking fellow. His eyes widen when he sees Rarity.

"OH MY GOD! I-IT'S THAT CRAZY LADY!"

> He cowers fearfully. The unicorn pony turns to him.

"And you! Do you promise never to do that again?" she asks.

"O-of course! Just please don't hurt me!"

> Rarity glares at him for a moment, then nods.

"Very good, then. Now be a good human and do only good human things from now on, alright?"

"Uh, sure. R-right."

> And with that, we start heading back to the cab.

"Wait!"

> The other kidnapper is awake now. He stares at Rarity, confused.

"Is that it?" he says. "What's the catch, lady? Why did you help us?"

> The unicorn pony turns around and smiles.

"Because this is a more beautiful way of doing things, don't you think?"

 

---

 

"Dear Princess Celestia,"

"Today, I learned that humans and ponies value things very differently,"

"And we can't just assume that our way of looking at things is the only way."

"We need to try to understand the human point of view,"

"And communicate in actions that which is often misunderstood in words."

"- Your Loyal Subject, Rarity"

 

> Rarity lowers her quill for a moment. Someone is knocking at her door.

"Oh, hello, Twilight. Is dinner ready?"

"More or less," says the purple pony. "Rainbow Dash made something I can't recognize. Applejack says it's edible, though."

"I do hope so, darling."

"And Rarity? Have you gotten rid of those gems?"

"Of course, I have. And I found the perfect way to do so."

> She closes the door as she follows after Twilight.

 

> In Rarity's room, the television is still on.

> The local newscaster discusses today's big events.

"Glad to hear that no one died in that accident, Johnny! And now for tonight's shocking news!"

"We just learned that the city orphanage has received a HUGE donation from an anonymous donor."

"But that's not all! The donation was in the form of precious gems!"

"We haven't yet received word of their exact value, but this will likely cover the cost of the new buildings and facilities that the kids need."

"Is this the start of a new trend of philanthropy and giving?"

"Who knows? Only time will tell. Now, back to you, Johnny!"