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A Very Trixie Christmas

By: ChocolateChipPancake on Dec 22nd, 2012 | syntax: None | size: 19.30 KB | hits: 212 | expires: Never

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"Did you see the strings tied to his fingers?"
"That was the dumbest, lamest trick, ever!"
"Man, we should just all go to bed..."
> I swallow nervously and force a smile.
> This is the toughest crowd I've ever faced.
> Even worse than when I tried out for stand-up.
"Get off the stage, you loser!"
"Yeah! Bring back the juggling clown!"
"Juggling clown! Juggling clown! Juggling clown!"
> Gotta think of something, quick!
> A bead of sweat rolls down my cheek.
> I pull out a handkerchief to wipe it off.
> "And now! For my next trick..."
"You're gonna disappear?"
"Yeah! That's a great trick!"
"Watching this is making me sleepy."
> I ignore the jeering and insults from the audience.
> Instead, I pull off my magician's hat and put it down.
> The timing has to be perfect. I raise my wand carefully.
> "...I shall draw out a pony from this hat."
---
"Don't you mean, 'pull out' a pony?"
"A pony? You mean like those from TV?"
> I shake my head and frown at the audience.
> "Nope. I mean to summon a pony from this hat."
"Summon? Like, real magic, kind of magic?"
"What a joke! Everyone knows pony-aliens don't exist!"
> I smile fondly at those comments.
> They remind me of a time, not too long ago...
"This guy's crazier than he dresses."
"He should be sent to the loony bin."
> ... when I thought the same way. Oh, the memories.
> I tap the hat three times with my wand and chant under my breath.
*click*
> Suddenly, a bright flash of light fills the sky.
> Everyone shields their eyes. Then, they all fall silent.
> From above, a small equine figure floats down from the sky.
"Who dares summon the GREAT and POWERFUL TRIXIE!?"
> I smile as the audience watches with their mouths agape.
> Then, as rehearsed, I kneel down before the floating figure.
> "Forgive me! But I had to call upon you for these... Unbelievers!"
"Unbelievers?" she repeats.
> The blue pony turns around to the audience.
> She conjures and puts on her robe and wizard hat.
"UNBELIEVERS!?"
---
"THEY SHALL PAY FOR THEIR INSOLENCE!"
> The audience freezes at her words.
"ALL UNBELIEVERS SHALL BE PUNISHED!"
> They look scared out of their wits.
"THEY SHALL LEARN FIRST HAND..."
> "Uh... Trixie?"
"... THE GREATEST AND MOST POWERFUL OF UNICORN MAGIC!"
> Trixie raises her hooves.
> Her horn begins to glow ominously.
"BEHOLD!"
> And at those words, something rains from the sky.
> The audience is perplexed for just a moment.
> And slowly, they all begin to cheer.
"It's candy! It's raining candy!"
"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"
> The two of us watch as the kids grab the sweets,
> And their parents give us a thumbs-up from the back.
> "Thanks for the save," I whisper.
"Hmph! Don't get ahead of yourself," says Trixie. "I only helped out because of your pathetic performance."
> "Ugh, give me a break. I'm not used to performing for kids' birthday parties."
"Let me show you how it's done, then."
> As usual, Trixie steals the rest of the performance.
> For some reason, she is really great with kids.
---
> "It isn't much, but it'll get us through the week. Here's your share."
> I hand some cash over to Trixie. She takes it with her hoof,
> And stares at it for a moment. Then, she smiles.
"Take it. We'll need to purchase some additional supplies."
> "Additional supplies? But I've already deducted for our living expenses."
"Just shut your mouth and follow me. I have a plan!"
> I shake my head as she heads off with no disguise, as usual.
> Good thing the people in this town think that I'm just a pony enthusiast.
"Let's take this one... and that one!"
"Thank you very much, Miss!"
> So far, I've hidden her true identity with a number of excuses:
> 'She is a ventriloquist dummy.'
> 'She is a pony-robot. Made in Japan.'
> 'She is a movie-set prop from a bad movie.'
> 'She has a medical condition. Please don't talk about it.'
> I still can't believe we haven't been discovered by the authorities.
"She is very lifelike," whispers the cashier. "Do you take requests? I'm a pony fan, too."
> I shake my head and almost drop the spaghetti.
"Careful!" says Trixie. "You'll break my noodles!"
> When we get back home from the shops,
> I finally realize what she plans for tonight.
> "Trixie, I don't think this is a very good idea..."
"Why not? Do you have any better ideas for Christmas?"
> "Err... not really, but-"
"Then, it's decided! This will be the Greatest and Merriest Christmas that this town has even seen!"
---
> Trixie brushes her mane as I come inside her room.
> "I'm done with the presents, like you asked."
"Really? What took you so long?"
> "..."
> I sigh and shake my head as she follows me into the kitchen.
"Not bad. These actually look pretty good."
> "Huh?"
"Maybe those 'fingers' of yours can be useful, after all."
> "Thanks, I guess."
> The blue pony examines my work closely.
> As instructed, I've melted chocolate bars and poured them into the molds:
> Christmas Tree, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus, etc.
> They came out in various Christmas-themed shapes.
"Let me put the finishing touches."
> Trixie's horn glows as she decorates the chocolate with icing.
> She signs her initials at the corner of each one, of course.
"Perfect! Now wrap these while I prepare my costume for tonight!"
> "Costume!?"
"And don't forget to put these tags on each and every gift."
> The pony passes me a bagful of tags.
> I glance at one and raise an eyebrow.
> "From the Great and Jolly Santa Claus (and friend)," I read aloud.
---
> Despite Trixie being her usual silly self, I can't help but smile.
> "I'm surprised. These handmade Christmas sweets actually look pretty good."
"Was there ever any doubt?"
> "Still can't believe we didn't spend all that much."
"The Great and Economical Trixie knows how to celebrate on a budget."
> "You had some hard times too, huh?"
"..."
> The pony falls silent at those words.
> "Uh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."
"..."
> She trots up to me and raises a hoof.
> I close my eyes and brace myself.
> But the slap never lands.
> Instead, she puts her hoof on my shoulder.
"The best gifts are made with love, not money," she whispers.
> "H-huh?"
"I learned that from an old friend of mine."
> Trixie gives me a sad smile before backing away.
"Oh, and one more thing."
> "Yes?"
"Next time, do put a little more effort in NOT being such an insensitive prick."
---
> I knock a few times on her door.
> "Hey Trixie? I'm done with the gifts."
"D-don't you dare open the door!" cries the pony.
> That's strange. What is up with Trixie?
> Doesn't she usually walk around without clothes, anyway?
> "Well, whatever."
"I just need another minute!"
> Twenty minutes later, she finally steps out of her room.
> She looks up at me nervously.
"So, what do you think?"
> "..."
> Actually, she looks stunning in the Santa Claus costume.
> The bright red contrasts beautifully against her blue coat,
> And there is something almost seductive about that cloak.
> But hell if I'm going to admit that out loud.
> "You look good, I guess..." I mumble.
"Phew! That's good to hear."
> Trixie pauses and stares at me,
> As if she notices for the first time.
> Then, she bursts out laughing.
> "Oh, wow. Thanks, Trixie!"
"I-I'm sorry," she manages. "You just look so silly in that reindeer costume."
> "Damn it, pony! You're the one who picked this out!"
"Oh come, now. On second glance, you do look kinda cute in that."
> "Just shut up. I've already loaded the presents in the car."
> She freezes at those words.
"The... CAR!?"
---
> "Well, how else do you plan to pass by every house in town?"
"W-well, I didn't really..."
> "You've already dragged me this far, Trixie."
"B-but..."
> "We aren't calling this off just because you don't like 'wheels'."
"Eep!"
> Before she can say anything, I open the car door.
> I quickly pick up the blue pony and toss her inside.
> "There. Now we can-"
"...you."
> "-finally get started on-"
"...how dare you..."
> "-this silly plan of yours. OUCH!"
> Suddenly, pain. I crumple down on the ground.
"That's for 'human'-handling me like that!"
> Did she just hit me in the stomach?
> Those goddamn hooves hurt!
"Now get up and drive!" she says. "Or would you rather pull a sleigh?"
> I force myself up and curse quietly.
> She pulls out a list from her cloak and examines it.
"Let's start with someplace nearby."
---
"There are two kids in that house, so grab two presents."
> "Huh? How do you know that?"
"By reading Santa's list, of course."
> "Santa's list? Let me see that..."
> Wait. Why does this list look familiar?
"Brilliant idea, isn't it? This way, I won't miss a single child."
> Then, I notice it. My eyes widen in horror.
> "Trixie? Where did you get this?"
"I borrowed it from that big place in the middle of town."
> "You stole the listing of registered residents from Town Hall!?"
> She quickly grabs the list from my hands.
"How else am I supposed to get that information?"
> "Ugh, forget it! Let's get this over with. So how are we getting inside?"
> Trixie walks up the front door of the first house.
"Observe," she says.
> Her horn glows for a moment.
*click*
> Then, she pushes the door open.
> "Breaking and entering!?"
"Exactly. Problem?"
> I plant my palm upon my face.
> This is going to be a long night.
---
"Hurry up and get inside," says Trixie.
> We make our way into the living room.
> Thankfully, the residents seem to be sound asleep.
> I quickly leave the two gifts under the Christmas tree.
> "Alright, done," I whisper. "We should get out of-"
"Here!"
> The pony hands me a plateful of cookies and a glass of milk.
> "What now? What is this?"
"I understand that Santa can't leave without partaking of this offering."
> "Offering? Trixie, aren't you taking this a little too seriously?"
"Passion for the performance is a key trait for any entertainer!"
> "Then, why don't you eat it?"
"I need to watch my figure," she says. "Now eat it, or I will MAKE you eat it."
> "D-damn it, all..."
> I quickly eat the cookies and drink the milk.
> After all, I don't feel like having them magically shoved up my ass tonight.
"See? Now don't you feel better for the kids?"
*burp*
"I'll take that as a yes. Now let's hurry on to the next place."
---
> Several hours later, we complete most of Trixie's season-inspired burglary.
> Only one house left. I'd like to say it all went without a hitch.
> But of course, it didn't. None of her plans ever do.
> Triggering security alarms,
> Starting a few electrical fires,
> Getting chased by dogs and angry parents,
> Breaking out of homemade-traps set by crazy kids,
"H-hey! Watch the road! You trying to get us killed?"
> "Ugh, my aching head...hic!"
> And being forced to drink all of the milk and cookies left out for Santa.
> Each and every time. Even when it isn't milk.
> The last place left eggnog, instead.
> Goddamn kids! I swear, one of these days...
"There! That's our final stop."
> I look up at the mansion on top of the hill.
> This is the biggest residence in town.
> "How many children in there?" I ask.
"Just one. A young girl."
---
> Trixie quickly trots out of the car and walks up to the gate.
"Ah. How convenient."
> She pushes the gate open with her hoof and walks inside.
> Wait, what? Why is the gate left open?
"Hurry up, reindeer! Santa Trixie wants some hot chocolate when we get home."
> "Yeah, yeah. Hold your horses."
"Very funny."
> I quickly follow after the pony.
> Trixie heads straight for the front door.
> She hesitates for a moment, then turns to me.
"Open it," she whispers.
> I reluctantly come closer and turn the handle.
> The front door isn't locked. I open it slowly.
*creak*
> None of the lights are on, and no sound can be heard
> Just an eerie silence. Seems like she notices it, too.
"..."
> Trixie motions for me to follow her inside,
> Quietly.
---
> We both step inside, knowing something is wrong.
> With questions unanswered, but not for long.
> We make our way towards the living room fire,
> And find something that fills us with fear and ire.
"Mmph! Mmph! Mmph!"
> To my panic and woe, I find my thoughts rhyming.
> Reminding myself of our worst possible timing.
> Before us, gagged and tied with ropes so tight,
> Parents and young child, eyes filled with fright.
"Mmph! Mmph! Mmph!"
> Before I can stop her, Trixie rushes to help.
> But a moment later she utters a high-pitched yelp.
> A big burly man, dressed in jolly red and white,
> Points his gun at us both while smiling this night.
"Well, isn't this cute? Another Santa and friend."
> I wonder quietly if this is how everything ends.
---
> Some time later, we find ourselves tied up, back-to-back.
> We are moved to another room with a man dressed as an elf standing guard.
"Great work," says Trixie. "Thanks to you, we're in trouble again!"
> "Thanks to me? It was your idiotic plan that got us into this mess!"
"S-Shut up! This is definitely your fault! You stupid human!"
> "My fault? You are one stuck up, arrogant pony!"
"Arrogant!? How dare you! I never asked to have such an incompetent partner!"
> "And I should have just left you out on the streets that night we met!"
"...!"
> At those words, she falls silent. Must have hit a nerve.
> But whatever. I'm really not in the mood for this pony's shit.
> Especially not with this "elf" holding us hostage at gunpoint.
"Oh God! This shit hilarious! Bwahahahaha!"
> Our captor laughs heartily at our exchange. Bastard.
> Then, the door opens. A second "elf" burglar looks around the room.
"Why aren't they gagged?" he asks.
"You gotta watch them!" says the first. "This is like some weird TV drama, man!"
"It's just ventriloquism, dumbass! Now come over here and help me with the safe."
> The two burglars leave the room. I wait a few minutes, just to be sure.
> "You alright, Trixie?"
"..."
---
> "Alright, they left. So what's the plan?"
"..."
> "With those two and the big guy, I count at least three,"
"..."
> "Maybe four if they have a guy waiting in a vehicle outside."
"..."
> No answer. I feel the pony shaking and shuffling behind me.
> "Uh, Trixie? You okay back there?"
*sob*
> Is she crying? Oh, wow. This just keeps getting worse.
> "Look. I didn't mean what I said earlier, alright?"
*sniff*
> "We both said some hurtful things. And I'm sorry."
*sob*
> "But we need to keep calm and find a way out of this!"
*sniff*
> "Those men aren't amateurs! They are going to kill us before the night ends."
*sob*
> "They'll probably kill that family, too! No witnesses and all that."
*sniff*
> Still no answer. Ah shit. Guess this is it.
> I sigh and smile sadly as I recall our past adventures.
> Ever since this pony came into my life, things changed.
> In fact, everything changed. And as much as I hate to admit it,
> She deserves to know.
> "Hey Trixie."
"..."
> "In case we die tonight, there's something I need to tell you."
"..?"
> She falls silent, listening intently.
> "Thank you," I whisper. "For everything."
> "You brought back the magic in my life."
---
"...is that so?"
> Suddenly, the ropes loosen and drop to the ground.
"Maybe you aren't so clueless, after all."
> "H-Huh? How did you do that?"
"Unicorns have magic, remember?"
> Oh, right. Before anything else, I plant my palm upon my face.
> "Err, about what I said earlier..."
"What about it?"
> "N-Nothing. Nevermind. I guess I-"
> All of a sudden, the door swings open.
> One of the burglars walks in and sees us.
"How the fu-"
> He raises his gun at Trixie.
> The pony's eyes widen in surprise.
> No time to think! I rush at the burglar,
> "POCKET TINSEL!"
"Argh!" cries the burglar. "It's in my eyes! Fuck!"
> He drops the gun and starts swinging his fists wildly.
"Get down!" says Trixie.
> I quickly duck as something large flies over my head.
*SMASH!*
> With a heavy thud, he falls down unconscious and bleeding.
> A large chair, or rather, the remains of one, lie in broken pieces nearby.
> "Wow, that must have hurt..."
"I do hope so," remarks Trixie. "Humans are such violent creatures!"
> Heh. Speak for yourself, pony.
---
> We burst out into the hallway. A burglar carrying a shotgun spots us.
> I quickly throw out another old trick from my pockets.
> The hallway is quickly filled with colorful smoke.
"What the hell-"
> The diversion is enough. Trixie rushes up to him.
> Before he can shoot, the pony raises both front hooves.
> And with a sickening crunch, she smashes the second burglar's face.
> He instantly stops moving. I kick away his weapon, just to be safe.
"Oh, that's just great," mutters the unicorn.
> "What's wrong now?"
"Gah! I think I chipped a hoof. Stupid humans!"
> "Uh, right. We probably should keep moving."
> Someone clears his throat from behind.
> We turn around. A third burglar aims his rifle at us.
"You aren't going anywhere, magic-man!"
> He pulls the trigger and fires. I'm thrown back as the shot lands.
> As I fall, I glance at Trixie. She opens her mouth and screams.
> Then, it finally registers in my brain. I've been shot.
> Pain runs up to my brain like electricity.
> Then, everything turns dark.
> "..."
---
"...ning."
> I hear a familiar voice. Slowly, I open my eyes.
"Good morning," says Trixie. "Feeling better, now?"
> "Huh? Where am I?"
> I try to sit up, but the pain kicks in.
"Careful! You might hurt yourself!"
> She quickly forces me back on the bed.
> Wait. The bed? I quickly look around the room.
"Relax," says the unicorn. "We're home now. It's over."
> Then, I recall the events of last night.
> "I was shot, wasn't I?"
"Don't worry. I already removed the bullet with my magic. The wound isn't deep."
> Damn. So really was shot last night.
> Still, that hardly explains anything.
> "Tell me what happened."
"I'll explain later, when you feel a bit better."
> "I'm not going anywhere," I add.
"Hmph, fine."
> Trixie sighs and starts to recount the events of last night.
> After I got shot, she attacked the rest of the burglars with her magic.
> Their leader, that big guy in the Santa outfit, tried to escape in a black van,
> But she used her magic to remove the wheels of the vehicle, causing it to crash.
> She rescued the residents afterward, and with their help, she got us back home.
> "That's some Christmas adventure, huh?"
"Christmas? Oh! I almost forgot!"
---
"Here! This is for you!"
> She gives me a neatly wrapped present.
> I raise an eyebrow at her as I open it.
> A magician's hat? I pull it out from the box.
"Be careful," says Trixie. "That one is enchanted with Equestrian runes."
> I look inside the hat and see several strange markings.
"I made it myself," she adds.
> "Interesting. So what does this do, exactly?"
"That's a secret!"
> She winks at me as I put it on. It fits quite snugly.
> "Thanks a lot, Trixie. But I can't accept this."
"Eh? Why not?"
> "I kinda forgot to get you a present."
> I sigh and prepare myself for a knock in the noggin.
> But to my surprise, she just gives me a sly smile.
"Don't be silly! You already gave me my present just a little while ago."
> "Huh? What are you talking about?"
> The unicorn just smiles more widely.
"It was very nice and sweet of you. Thank you."
> "Wait a sec. What did I give you?"
"Hee, hee, hee!"
> "Tell me, pony!"
> Trixie giggles as she leaves the room, closing the door behind her.
> Once out of my sight, she touches her hoof to her lips.
> She blushes slightly as she recalls the sensation.
"Merry Christmas," she whispers.

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"Did you see the strings tied to his fingers?"
"That was the dumbest, lamest trick, ever!"
"Man, we should just all go to bed..."
> I swallow nervously and force a smile.
> This is the toughest crowd I've ever faced.
> Even worse than when I tried out for stand-up.
"Get off the stage, you loser!"
"Yeah! Bring back the juggling clown!"
"Juggling clown! Juggling clown! Juggling clown!"
> Gotta think of something, quick!
> A bead of sweat rolls down my cheek.
> I pull out a handkerchief to wipe it off.
> "And now! For my next trick..."
"You're gonna disappear?"
"Yeah! That's a great trick!"
"Watching this is making me sleepy."
> I ignore the jeering and insults from the audience.
> Instead, I pull off my magician's hat and put it down.
> The timing has to be perfect. I raise my wand carefully.
> "...I shall draw out a pony from this hat."

---

"Don't you mean, 'pull out' a pony?"
"A pony? You mean like those from TV?"
> I shake my head and frown at the audience.
> "Nope. I mean to summon a pony from this hat."
"Summon? Like, real magic, kind of magic?"
"What a joke! Everyone knows pony-aliens don't exist!"
> I smile fondly at those comments.
> They remind me of a time, not too long ago...
"This guy's crazier than he dresses."
"He should be sent to the loony bin."
> ... when I thought the same way. Oh, the memories.
> I tap the hat three times with my wand and chant under my breath.
*click*
> Suddenly, a bright flash of light fills the sky.
> Everyone shields their eyes. Then, they all fall silent.
> From above, a small equine figure floats down from the sky.
"Who dares summon the GREAT and POWERFUL TRIXIE!?"
> I smile as the audience watches with their mouths agape.
> Then, as rehearsed, I kneel down before the floating figure.
> "Forgive me! But I had to call upon you for these... Unbelievers!"
"Unbelievers?" she repeats.
> The blue pony turns around to the audience.
> She conjures and puts on her robe and wizard hat.
"UNBELIEVERS!?"

---

"THEY SHALL PAY FOR THEIR INSOLENCE!"
> The audience freezes at her words.
"ALL UNBELIEVERS SHALL BE PUNISHED!"
> They look scared out of their wits.
"THEY SHALL LEARN FIRST HAND..."
> "Uh... Trixie?"
"... THE GREATEST AND MOST POWERFUL OF UNICORN MAGIC!"
> Trixie raises her hooves.
> Her horn begins to glow ominously.
"BEHOLD!"
> And at those words, something rains from the sky.
> The audience is perplexed for just a moment.
> And slowly, they all begin to cheer.
"It's candy! It's raining candy!"
"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"
> The two of us watch as the kids grab the sweets,
> And their parents give us a thumbs-up from the back.
> "Thanks for the save," I whisper.
"Hmph! Don't get ahead of yourself," says Trixie. "I only helped out because of your pathetic performance."
> "Ugh, give me a break. I'm not used to performing for kids' birthday parties."
"Let me show you how it's done, then."
> As usual, Trixie steals the rest of the performance.
> For some reason, she is really great with kids.

---

> "It isn't much, but it'll get us through the week. Here's your share."
> I hand some cash over to Trixie. She takes it with her hoof,
> And stares at it for a moment. Then, she smiles.
"Take it. We'll need to purchase some additional supplies."
> "Additional supplies? But I've already deducted for our living expenses."
"Just shut your mouth and follow me. I have a plan!"
> I shake my head as she heads off with no disguise, as usual.
> Good thing the people in this town think that I'm just a pony enthusiast.
"Let's take this one... and that one!"
"Thank you very much, Miss!"
> So far, I've hidden her true identity with a number of excuses:
> 'She is a ventriloquist dummy.'
> 'She is a pony-robot. Made in Japan.'
> 'She is a movie-set prop from a bad movie.'
> 'She has a medical condition. Please don't talk about it.'
> I still can't believe we haven't been discovered by the authorities.
"She is very lifelike," whispers the cashier. "Do you take requests? I'm a pony fan, too."
> I shake my head and almost drop the spaghetti.
"Careful!" says Trixie. "You'll break my noodles!"

> When we get back home from the shops,
> I finally realize what she plans for tonight.
> "Trixie, I don't think this is a very good idea..."
"Why not? Do you have any better ideas for Christmas?"
> "Err... not really, but-"
"Then, it's decided! This will be the Greatest and Merriest Christmas that this town has even seen!"

---

> Trixie brushes her mane as I come inside her room.
> "I'm done with the presents, like you asked."
"Really? What took you so long?"
> "..."
> I sigh and shake my head as she follows me into the kitchen.
"Not bad. These actually look pretty good."
> "Huh?"
"Maybe those 'fingers' of yours can be useful, after all."
> "Thanks, I guess."
> The blue pony examines my work closely.
> As instructed, I've melted chocolate bars and poured them into the molds:
> Christmas Tree, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus, etc.
> They came out in various Christmas-themed shapes.
"Let me put the finishing touches."
> Trixie's horn glows as she decorates the chocolate with icing.
> She signs her initials at the corner of each one, of course.
"Perfect! Now wrap these while I prepare my costume for tonight!"
> "Costume!?"
"And don't forget to put these tags on each and every gift."
> The pony passes me a bagful of tags.
> I glance at one and raise an eyebrow.
> "From the Great and Jolly Santa Claus (and friend)," I read aloud.

---

> Despite Trixie being her usual silly self, I can't help but smile.
> "I'm surprised. These handmade Christmas sweets actually look pretty good."
"Was there ever any doubt?"
> "Still can't believe we didn't spend all that much."
"The Great and Economical Trixie knows how to celebrate on a budget."
> "You had some hard times too, huh?"
"..."
> The pony falls silent at those words.
> "Uh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."
"..."
> She trots up to me and raises a hoof.
> I close my eyes and brace myself.
> But the slap never lands.
> Instead, she puts her hoof on my shoulder.
"The best gifts are made with love, not money," she whispers.
> "H-huh?"
"I learned that from an old friend of mine."
> Trixie gives me a sad smile before backing away.
"Oh, and one more thing."
> "Yes?"
"Next time, do put a little more effort in NOT being such an insensitive prick."

---

> I knock a few times on her door.
> "Hey Trixie? I'm done with the gifts."
"D-don't you dare open the door!" cries the pony.
> That's strange. What is up with Trixie?
> Doesn't she usually walk around without clothes, anyway?
> "Well, whatever."
"I just need another minute!"
> Twenty minutes later, she finally steps out of her room.
> She looks up at me nervously.
"So, what do you think?"
> "..."
> Actually, she looks stunning in the Santa Claus costume.
> The bright red contrasts beautifully against her blue coat,
> And there is something almost seductive about that cloak.
> But hell if I'm going to admit that out loud.
> "You look good, I guess..." I mumble.
"Phew! That's good to hear."
> Trixie pauses and stares at me,
> As if she notices for the first time.
> Then, she bursts out laughing.
> "Oh, wow. Thanks, Trixie!"
"I-I'm sorry," she manages. "You just look so silly in that reindeer costume."
> "Damn it, pony! You're the one who picked this out!"
"Oh come, now. On second glance, you do look kinda cute in that."
> "Just shut up. I've already loaded the presents in the car."
> She freezes at those words.
"The... CAR!?"

---

> "Well, how else do you plan to pass by every house in town?"
"W-well, I didn't really..."
> "You've already dragged me this far, Trixie."
"B-but..."
> "We aren't calling this off just because you don't like 'wheels'."
"Eep!"
> Before she can say anything, I open the car door.
> I quickly pick up the blue pony and toss her inside.
> "There. Now we can-"
"...you."
> "-finally get started on-"
"...how dare you..."
> "-this silly plan of yours. OUCH!"
> Suddenly, pain. I crumple down on the ground.
"That's for 'human'-handling me like that!"
> Did she just hit me in the stomach?
> Those goddamn hooves hurt!
"Now get up and drive!" she says. "Or would you rather pull a sleigh?"
> I force myself up and curse quietly.
> She pulls out a list from her cloak and examines it.
"Let's start with someplace nearby."

---

"There are two kids in that house, so grab two presents."
> "Huh? How do you know that?"
"By reading Santa's list, of course."
> "Santa's list? Let me see that..."
> Wait. Why does this list look familiar?
"Brilliant idea, isn't it? This way, I won't miss a single child."
> Then, I notice it. My eyes widen in horror.
> "Trixie? Where did you get this?"
"I borrowed it from that big place in the middle of town."
> "You stole the listing of registered residents from Town Hall!?"
> She quickly grabs the list from my hands.
"How else am I supposed to get that information?"
> "Ugh, forget it! Let's get this over with. So how are we getting inside?"
> Trixie walks up the front door of the first house.
"Observe," she says.
> Her horn glows for a moment.
*click*
> Then, she pushes the door open.
> "Breaking and entering!?"
"Exactly. Problem?"
> I plant my palm upon my face.
> This is going to be a long night.

---

"Hurry up and get inside," says Trixie.
> We make our way into the living room.
> Thankfully, the residents seem to be sound asleep.
> I quickly leave the two gifts under the Christmas tree.
> "Alright, done," I whisper. "We should get out of-"
"Here!"
> The pony hands me a plateful of cookies and a glass of milk.
> "What now? What is this?"
"I understand that Santa can't leave without partaking of this offering."
> "Offering? Trixie, aren't you taking this a little too seriously?"
"Passion for the performance is a key trait for any entertainer!"
> "Then, why don't you eat it?"
"I need to watch my figure," she says. "Now eat it, or I will MAKE you eat it."
> "D-damn it, all..."
> I quickly eat the cookies and drink the milk.
> After all, I don't feel like having them magically shoved up my ass tonight.
"See? Now don't you feel better for the kids?"
*burp*
"I'll take that as a yes. Now let's hurry on to the next place."

---

> Several hours later, we complete most of Trixie's season-inspired burglary.
> Only one house left. I'd like to say it all went without a hitch.
> But of course, it didn't. None of her plans ever do.
> Triggering security alarms,
> Starting a few electrical fires,
> Getting chased by dogs and angry parents,
> Breaking out of homemade-traps set by crazy kids,
"H-hey! Watch the road! You trying to get us killed?"
> "Ugh, my aching head...hic!"
> And being forced to drink all of the milk and cookies left out for Santa.
> Each and every time. Even when it isn't milk.
> The last place left eggnog, instead.
> Goddamn kids! I swear, one of these days...
"There! That's our final stop."
> I look up at the mansion on top of the hill.
> This is the biggest residence in town.
> "How many children in there?" I ask.
"Just one. A young girl."

---

> Trixie quickly trots out of the car and walks up to the gate.
"Ah. How convenient."
> She pushes the gate open with her hoof and walks inside.
> Wait, what? Why is the gate left open?
"Hurry up, reindeer! Santa Trixie wants some hot chocolate when we get home."
> "Yeah, yeah. Hold your horses."
"Very funny."
> I quickly follow after the pony.
> Trixie heads straight for the front door.
> She hesitates for a moment, then turns to me.
"Open it," she whispers.
> I reluctantly come closer and turn the handle.
> The front door isn't locked. I open it slowly.
*creak*
> None of the lights are on, and no sound can be heard
> Just an eerie silence. Seems like she notices it, too.
"..."
> Trixie motions for me to follow her inside,
> Quietly.

---

> We both step inside, knowing something is wrong.
> With questions unanswered, but not for long.
> We make our way towards the living room fire,
> And find something that fills us with fear and ire.
"Mmph! Mmph! Mmph!"
> To my panic and woe, I find my thoughts rhyming.
> Reminding myself of our worst possible timing.
> Before us, gagged and tied with ropes so tight,
> Parents and young child, eyes filled with fright.
"Mmph! Mmph! Mmph!"
> Before I can stop her, Trixie rushes to help.
> But a moment later she utters a high-pitched yelp.
> A big burly man, dressed in jolly red and white,
> Points his gun at us both while smiling this night.
"Well, isn't this cute? Another Santa and friend."
> I wonder quietly if this is how everything ends.

---

> Some time later, we find ourselves tied up, back-to-back.
> We are moved to another room with a man dressed as an elf standing guard.
"Great work," says Trixie. "Thanks to you, we're in trouble again!"
> "Thanks to me? It was your idiotic plan that got us into this mess!"
"S-Shut up! This is definitely your fault! You stupid human!"
> "My fault? You are one stuck up, arrogant pony!"
"Arrogant!? How dare you! I never asked to have such an incompetent partner!"
> "And I should have just left you out on the streets that night we met!"
"...!"
> At those words, she falls silent. Must have hit a nerve.
> But whatever. I'm really not in the mood for this pony's shit.
> Especially not with this "elf" holding us hostage at gunpoint.
"Oh God! This shit hilarious! Bwahahahaha!"
> Our captor laughs heartily at our exchange. Bastard.
> Then, the door opens. A second "elf" burglar looks around the room.
"Why aren't they gagged?" he asks.
"You gotta watch them!" says the first. "This is like some weird TV drama, man!"
"It's just ventriloquism, dumbass! Now come over here and help me with the safe."
> The two burglars leave the room. I wait a few minutes, just to be sure.
> "You alright, Trixie?"
"..."

---

> "Alright, they left. So what's the plan?"
"..."
> "With those two and the big guy, I count at least three,"
"..."
> "Maybe four if they have a guy waiting in a vehicle outside."
"..."
> No answer. I feel the pony shaking and shuffling behind me.
> "Uh, Trixie? You okay back there?"
*sob*
> Is she crying? Oh, wow. This just keeps getting worse.
> "Look. I didn't mean what I said earlier, alright?"
*sniff*
> "We both said some hurtful things. And I'm sorry."
*sob*
> "But we need to keep calm and find a way out of this!"
*sniff*
> "Those men aren't amateurs! They are going to kill us before the night ends."
*sob*
> "They'll probably kill that family, too! No witnesses and all that."
*sniff*
> Still no answer. Ah shit. Guess this is it.
> I sigh and smile sadly as I recall our past adventures.
> Ever since this pony came into my life, things changed.
> In fact, everything changed. And as much as I hate to admit it,
> She deserves to know.
> "Hey Trixie."
"..."
> "In case we die tonight, there's something I need to tell you."
"..?"
> She falls silent, listening intently.
> "Thank you," I whisper. "For everything."
> "You brought back the magic in my life."

---

"...is that so?"
> Suddenly, the ropes loosen and drop to the ground.
"Maybe you aren't so clueless, after all."
> "H-Huh? How did you do that?"
"Unicorns have magic, remember?"
> Oh, right. Before anything else, I plant my palm upon my face.
> "Err, about what I said earlier..."
"What about it?"
> "N-Nothing. Nevermind. I guess I-"
> All of a sudden, the door swings open.
> One of the burglars walks in and sees us.
"How the fu-"
> He raises his gun at Trixie.
> The pony's eyes widen in surprise.
> No time to think! I rush at the burglar,
> "POCKET TINSEL!"
"Argh!" cries the burglar. "It's in my eyes! Fuck!"
> He drops the gun and starts swinging his fists wildly.
"Get down!" says Trixie.
> I quickly duck as something large flies over my head.
*SMASH!*
> With a heavy thud, he falls down unconscious and bleeding.
> A large chair, or rather, the remains of one, lie in broken pieces nearby.
> "Wow, that must have hurt..."
"I do hope so," remarks Trixie. "Humans are such violent creatures!"
> Heh. Speak for yourself, pony.

---

> We burst out into the hallway. A burglar carrying a shotgun spots us.
> I quickly throw out another old trick from my pockets.
> The hallway is quickly filled with colorful smoke.
"What the hell-"
> The diversion is enough. Trixie rushes up to him.
> Before he can shoot, the pony raises both front hooves.
> And with a sickening crunch, she smashes the second burglar's face.
> He instantly stops moving. I kick away his weapon, just to be safe.
"Oh, that's just great," mutters the unicorn.
> "What's wrong now?"
"Gah! I think I chipped a hoof. Stupid humans!"
> "Uh, right. We probably should keep moving."
> Someone clears his throat from behind.
> We turn around. A third burglar aims his rifle at us.
"You aren't going anywhere, magic-man!"
> He pulls the trigger and fires. I'm thrown back as the shot lands.
> As I fall, I glance at Trixie. She opens her mouth and screams.
> Then, it finally registers in my brain. I've been shot.
> Pain runs up to my brain like electricity.
> Then, everything turns dark.
> "..."

---

"...ning."
> I hear a familiar voice. Slowly, I open my eyes.
"Good morning," says Trixie. "Feeling better, now?"
> "Huh? Where am I?"
> I try to sit up, but the pain kicks in.
"Careful! You might hurt yourself!"
> She quickly forces me back on the bed.
> Wait. The bed? I quickly look around the room.
"Relax," says the unicorn. "We're home now. It's over."
> Then, I recall the events of last night.
> "I was shot, wasn't I?"
"Don't worry. I already removed the bullet with my magic. The wound isn't deep."
> Damn. So really was shot last night.
> Still, that hardly explains anything.
> "Tell me what happened."
"I'll explain later, when you feel a bit better."
> "I'm not going anywhere," I add.
"Hmph, fine."
> Trixie sighs and starts to recount the events of last night.
> After I got shot, she attacked the rest of the burglars with her magic.
> Their leader, that big guy in the Santa outfit, tried to escape in a black van,
> But she used her magic to remove the wheels of the vehicle, causing it to crash.
> She rescued the residents afterward, and with their help, she got us back home.
> "That's some Christmas adventure, huh?"
"Christmas? Oh! I almost forgot!"

---

"Here! This is for you!"
> She gives me a neatly wrapped present.
> I raise an eyebrow at her as I open it.
> A magician's hat? I pull it out from the box.
"Be careful," says Trixie. "That one is enchanted with Equestrian runes."
> I look inside the hat and see several strange markings.
"I made it myself," she adds.
> "Interesting. So what does this do, exactly?"
"That's a secret!"
> She winks at me as I put it on. It fits quite snugly.
> "Thanks a lot, Trixie. But I can't accept this."
"Eh? Why not?"
> "I kinda forgot to get you a present."
> I sigh and prepare myself for a knock in the noggin.
> But to my surprise, she just gives me a sly smile.
"Don't be silly! You already gave me my present just a little while ago."
> "Huh? What are you talking about?"
> The unicorn just smiles more widely.
"It was very nice and sweet of you. Thank you."
> "Wait a sec. What did I give you?"
"Hee, hee, hee!"
> "Tell me, pony!"
> Trixie giggles as she leaves the room, closing the door behind her.
> Once out of my sight, she touches her hoof to her lips.
> She blushes slightly as she recalls the sensation.
"Merry Christmas," she whispers.

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