Title:           An Attempt at Love (Poem)
Author:          Chimeragoose
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/P41Wb1Qz
First Edit:      Monday 25th of August 2014 05:14:08 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 25th of August 2014 05:14:08 PM CDT

I can't sleep at night.
These thoughts of us burning bright.
Plaguing my mind, asking if I'm alright
These questions filling the air, all through the night.
 
Calling out softly, I speak your name.
Hoping you don't hear my shame.
These words, asking if you feel the same.
But hoping you hear, justify my claim.
 
“My dear, if you knew
what you put me through.
Every time I speak to you,
The questions are raised anew.”
 
I cannot say these things directly,
lest you prove I guessed correctly,
In thinking the feeling comes solely from me.
Please, do not just let me be.
 
Please do not mix words.
All of the things that I've heard
Leave a trace of hurt,
that you feel you cannot be curt.
 
Just answer honestly,
But there's no need to be hasty.
To the happiness I seek, you are the key.
But, you shall forever be free.
 
For one cannot contain such a beautiful soul.
Even though these feelings are often out of control.
My body feeling the toll
Of days without rest, and nights with no goal.
 
I will never hurt you,
Never abandon you.
Never force you.
But, I cannot wait forever, that is true.
 
I ask for no commitments,
Only the persistence
needed when I cannot romance
and I just look like a comedy performance
 
Running this gauntlet,
I can't let
You know how I really feel about that,
I can't risk all that I've done yet.
 
I can't tell you how much you really mean to me,
I just can't let you see
Why can't this be
More simple, like me?
 
Look into these eyes,
Feel my struggle and surprise
Falling to my knees, hear these cries.
The more I wait, the more of me dies.
 
That first innocent kiss,
filling me with a monumental bliss,
Frozen with fear, shaking in nervousness,
All of this you put to rest.
 
The little things mean the most.
Holding hands, an embrace, a joking boast.
Slowing life down to a coast.
Spending time with you is what I treasure most.
 
Seeming to be pushed farther away,
but right next to you is where I want to stay.
You always know how to make my day.
There are so many things to thank that I cannot say.
 
I don't know if I should be around.
Every time I'm near you, my hope abounds.
Wishing for your arms and affection to surround
me, no matter how I sound.
 
I know I can be mean,
but I do it to preen.
To come clean.
To remain seen.
 
Because I'm afraid.
Afraid that I'll begin to fade.
Afraid that this hero wasn't born, or made.
Afraid that I'll be forbade
 
To be around
To play the clown.
To fix your frown.
To be someone you'll surpass by leaps and bounds.
 
I want to work my way into your heart,
but I don't know how to start,
Don't know if you'll depart
I wonder if I'll get the part.
 
The part I long for.
To be the one that you long for.
But I think I'm done for.
There's no place for
 
Me.
 
With you.