Title: [FR] Pizzanon Shorts Author: Chempony_101 Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/8wJ7BBUk First Edit: Wednesday 23rd of July 2014 09:23:49 PM CDT Last Edit: Wednesday 23rd of July 2014 09:23:49 PM CDT Some shorts I wrote with Nebulus when we were messing around with the idea of Pizza Anon delivering to hungry milfs. Enjoy!   >"Sonny, I'll have you know, I had the finest legs in' all er' Equestria!" "Yes, I'm sure you did." >Granny Smith leans on the door frame of the Apple's farmhouse, stretching out her old, wrinkled legs. >"Ay' still got 'em, too!" >Yeah, sure you do. "This isn't really appropriate. Please, I just need the eight bits for the pizza." >Granny's eyes almost pop out of her head, as her surprise is only matched by your uncaring glare. >"Eight bits! Sonny, in my day, we'd get eight of those for just one bit!" "Are you saying you don't have eight bits, ma'am?" >"I've got a bit. Take it er' leave it!" "I'm sorry, ma'am, I need eight bits for this." >She gets down from the door frame, as she puts her hoof to her chin. >"I think I've got just about enough in my coin purse. Wait right here!" >And off she goes. >Maybe pizza delivery isn't your thing. >You consider switching careers to something a little more appropriate. >Whoring yourself out doesn't sound like a bad idea. >At least you get paid to fuck all these pent-up ponies. >Eventually, you could see her go back down the steps. >What the fuck was she wearing? >Was she... in a fucking bikini? >She stands in your line of sight, as she turns around to shake her wrinkly booty at you. >Did you just go blind? >Because you probably would have. >"Ai've got sumthin' better than nasty ol' bits, tiger!" "T-that's ok, pizza's free." >You throw the pizza at her, and turn around and attempt to dash off. >That is, until you crash into Big Mac on your first step. "You're not going to let me leave, are you?" >"Nope."   >You should seriously consider investing in a chastity belt.   ------   >"Go away! I'm busy here!" "It's the pizza you ordered." >"Alright, in a minute." >The door opens to reveal Cranky Doodle Donkey, wearing his signature yellow wig. >That thing always looks really weird on him. "That'll be ten bits." >"Does it look like I have pockets, wiseguy?" >What a dick. >Eh, at least he's honest. >"Come inside and wait in the living room. I'll grab your damn change." >You step into his home, as you take a seat on a plastic-covered sofa. >Why the fuck do people even use this shit on sofas? >It's so uncomfortable. >From your position, you could see his wife in bed, waiting for something. >Hopefully not what you've gotten the last seven times. >Cranky comes back, with a paltry amount of bits in his mouth. >He spits them out at you, and looks up. >"I know it's not enough. Hear me out here." >Oh, great, here we go. >"Look, I don't have what you need. But I have something you might like?" "If you're asking for what I think you are, I'm not providing extra sausage for your wife." >"How did you know I was going to say that?" "I had a feeling." >"I've got nothing for you, then. Keep the pizza." "Ok; see ya guys." >Looks like you're home safe. >Hopefully, those damn goats haven't followed you here. >You grab your pizza and open the exit door, only to be met by Pinkie Pie herself. >"Hey, Anon! How's pizza work going?" "Not very good. They couldn't pay me." >"Didn't they offer you some ass?" "How do you know that?" >Pinkie giggles a very interesting smile, as she pushes you back inside. >"I come here every Wednesday for a nice threesome. Of course, we've always wanted a fourth." "I can't do that, Pinkie." >"I didn't ask, Anon." >Wait, what? >Pinkie closes the door, locking it behind her, before she gives one last shout to the donkey couple. >"I hope you guys like sausage!"   ------   >How the hell could a house be slanted? >Better not to question Equestria's physics at a time like this. >You got a pizza to deliver. >You knock on the door, steeling your mind for the inevitable >"I'll be right down, sir!~" >Soon enough, the door opens, revealing a familiar grey mare. >At least this one's too clumsy to try anything. >"How much is the pizza, sir?" "That'll be six bits." >For once, this mare came prepared. >She counted out a couple of bits in her hoof. >You swear you see eight bits in her hoof as she hands you the money. >"A tip for being such a nice person, Anon!" >Aww, how adorable! >Your hands extend themselves, as they begin to hand the pizza over to Derpy. >She takes the pizza kindly, and turns around to walk back inside. >Of course, true to her namesake, she trips herself on her own feet. >Her fall is strange enough that it somehow sends the pizza rocketing towards you. "Oh shi-" >HEADSHOT. >Your forehead now has a pizza-box shaped mark, >"O-oh, I'm sorry! Let me help you!" >She hurries back to you, only to trip on her feet again. >Her hooves stretch themselves out, attempting to grip themselves on anything to stop her fall. >Of course, she ends up gripping your very loose shorts. >With no underwear underneath. >That damn zebra probably took them before you woke up. >"I'm s-so sorry!" >She attempts to grip your pants to pull them back up, but ends up falling backwards. >Pulling you down with her. >As soon as she hits the ground she instinctively speads her legs to lower to try and stop herself. >Of course, that only means that your member is just at the right position for... >Accidental fucking. >"Oo-o-oh!~ I'm sorry, Anon! Let me get off you." >She tries to pull herself off your cock, but only succeeds in repeatedly falling on it again and again. "Stop, Derpy. Let me do this." >She stops moving for a second, allowing you to take your cock out of her. >"I-I just don't know what went wrong, Anon."