- >Twilights final exams were to be held exactly two days from now in Canterlot
- >more specifically, in Celestias School for Gifted Unicorns, and were to be conducted by Celestia herself (for obvious reasons)
- >because of this, Twilight decided it would be nice to have all her friends accompany her for moral support
- >especially since she has no idea what the test will entail
- >but why she decided to drag me along, I'll probably never know for sure
- >I can only guess it was at the express request of a certain yellow and pink pegasus
- >the same yellow and pink pegasus that drugged a ballroom of ponies and went so far as to even try to kill me
- >the same pegasus that I found licking the glue on an envelope that I put into the mailbox
- >I really don't think I'll be able to put up with this shit if she's in such close proximity to me for two days...
- >and that's not even with the added bonus of an all powerful ruler who I am sure is helping her in her deluded plots...
- >but, I digress, I'm here for Twilight, and she's gonna have my support
- >speaking of "here", we just so happen to be a very short distance from the city
- >we decided to use a carriage this time, instead of mass teleportation
- >and by we, I mean me and Rainbro
- >I don't think the others would've caved if it weren't for her, so I owe her another one
- >Fluttershy offered up the idea that she could carry me to Canterlot on my back, if I was that averse to the teleporting
- >I very hastily declined her offer
- >as we arrived in Canterlot, I decieded to not make too much of a big deal out of Fluttershy
- >it doesn't take us too long to get in front of castle, where the horses pulling the carriage let us out and began removing our luggage
- >and by "our luggage", I mean one bag per each of us, and 7 suitcases for Rarity
- >so far, we are off to a good start, and I just hope it can stay that way for at least the majority of the visit
- >I realize this is wishful thinking as I notice Fluttershy trying to get past the security mechanism that is the zipper on my bag
- >can't even get a break for one day...
- >I grab my bag from her hooves and make my way towards the front gate of the castle
- >I begin to push open the gate, but get stopped by two spears in front of my face
- >"Who goes there?"
- >are you kidding me?
- "Anon? You know, the only human in Equestria?"
- >the guards stare at me, but make no move to let me pass
- >for fuc- I go back to Twilight and let her lead us through
- >the guards see her and just allow her to go
- >they continue staring at me as I follow behind
- >we all made our way towards our own little corner of the castle, where there is a room for each of us
- >as they all start making their way towards their room, I head towards mine and slam the door behind me as I enter
- >a small "Eeep!" is heard from right outside my door
- >/sigh, Fluttershy...
- >I wait for her to leave my door and enter her room before going about my business
- >I set my bag on the bed
- >in my bag is 4 shirts, 4 pants, various underwear and socks, and all necessary toiletries
- >it was extremely hot in the carriage, so I decide to change my shirt, in the privacy of the bathroom
- >I go in, remove my shirt, and then notice that there is a hole about the size of my fist being cut into my wall
- >I simply wait with my face directly in front of the hole
- >as the piece of wall is disconnected from the rest of the wall and fall away, I see a blue-teal eye pop up
- >when she see me staring at her, she lets out a yelp and runs away
- >I start stuffing my shirt into the hole, think better of it, and stuff an extra toilet paper roll in it sideways
- >I put on my shirt, splash some water on my face, and leave the bathroom
- >no sooner had I walked out than I saw Fluttershy floating outside my window
- >I move to close the curtains, only to realize my window doesn't have any...
- >I take the blanket from my bed and drape it over the window
- >unfortunately, that isn't going to work too well at night
- >I throw my shirt in the hamper and zip up my bag
- >it seems about time for dinner, so I go out to ask Twilight about it, and she informs me that Celestia is having us as guests of honor with a small feast
- >sounds good to me
- >we tell all the girls and make our way to the dining hall
- >once we are all at the dining hall, we proceed to seat ourselves anywhere we want
- >Twilight sits next to Celestia
- >Rarity sits as far from Blueblood as ponily possible
- >Pinkie won't be constrained to one seat, and is playing musical chairs to a song only she hears
- >I take a seat near the middle, Rainbow on my right, Applejack on her right, and Fluttershy directly in front of me
- >there is some light conversation among everyone, and eventually the food comes out
- >generic stuff that is impossible for me to digest comes along and is placed in front of the others
- >when a servant sits a platter in front of me, it takes every ounce of willpower not to cry when I see that they're serving me fish
- >there is a giant taboo among everyone about eating meat, so it's pretty hard for me to find any by myself
- >when I took a bite of the fish, I had to bite back another wave of tears
- >"Hey are you alright? You don't look too good."
- > I turn to see Rainbro asking, and then swallow
- "Y-yeah, I'm fine, don't worry."
- >not long after this, Fluttershy started a very fake coughing fit
- >she lifted a hoof, to cover her mouth, but a large puff of white powder flew towards me
- >a simple flap of the wings from the blue pegasus next to me sent the powder veering away
- >and straight towards Blueblood, and he then proceeded to take a very abrupt nap in his daisy soup
- >this caught a few glances, but no one seemed too bothered
- >man, everyone must hate him
- >I turn to Rainbro
- "You know, I don't think I could ever repay you for the help you give me."
- >"I can think of a way..."
- "And what is it?"
- >"N-nothing! I'm sure you'll figure something out, it's not that big of a deal anyway!"
- >well that wasn't much help
- >ah well
- >desert was a good sized portion of some great looking ice cream for each of us
- >Fluttershy reached across the table
- >"H-here, let me add some sprinkles... I-if you don't mind..."
- > I did mind, and I let her know, but she didn't pay me any mind and added the "sprinkles"
- >I immediately noticed that they were tranquilizers
- >I pushed the ice cream away, and awaited the end of dinner
- Fluttershy...
- >after dinner is over, Celestia invites us to a visit in her gardens
- >I try to say no, but Celetia won't hear it and levitates me towards the exit
- >everyone else seems to quite enjoy the sight of me being man handled with magic
- >unfortunately, I can't share in their revelry, seeing as I'm being man handled by magic...
- >Celestia lets me loose once we get to the gardens, and I decide to see the entire thing through
- >I walk over to the nearest tree and just lean on it
- >Twilight and Celestia sit at a small table, apparently where they sat when Twilight was learning under her
- >Pinkie is confused by the lack of candy
- >Applejack is confused by the lack of apple trees
- >Rarity is just trying to stay as far from nature as possible
- >Dash seems to be glancing towards me a bit
- >can't imagine why, there aren't any interesting plants near me
- >now where is...... ah, she's standing beside me....
- >and holding a bright string
- >he points over to what can only be described as the simplest trap in existence
- >it's a very large box, being held up by a stick, which has the same bright string tied around it
- >"I think you left something over there, A-anon..."
- >I hadn't even been over there
- >I look closely and see that underneath the box is something white
- >I walk up to the box and see that it is a roll of toilet paper
- >the roll I used earlier to plug the hole...
- >I grab hold of the edge of the box, walk under the box, and grab the roll
- >she pulls the stick out, but I'm still holding the box
- >I walk out from under the box and let it fall
- >she's already scurried away, so there's nothing I can do about that
- Jesus Fluttershy...
- >after the whole "trap" thing, I went back to the others
- >Pinkie announced an idea to go walking through the more wooded part of the garden
- >from the confused expression on her face, I doubt it was really her idea
- >we all start walking through the garden, Rainbro on my right, Fluttershy on my left, and everyone else up ahead
- >"Umm, Rainbow, you should umm, go up ahead with the others..."
- >she looks up to me with a worried look, and I just shrug
- >"Sure, I'll go."
- >after she was with the others, Fluttershy pointed me to an odd looking flower
- >"That on looks like it smells great! You s-should smell one!"
- >she takes a bit longer than I would deem necessary to pick a single flower, but runs back with one nonetheless
- >I could see that it was in fact just a spray bottle with some colorful paper glued to the nozzle
- >"D-do you want a sniff?"
- >based on the excitement present in her eyes, I could tell she really thought she fooled me with it
- >I decide to play along
- >I lean in and get close to the "flower"
- >I raise my hand, turn the bottle around and spray her in the face
- >she looked confused for a second, then sneezed twice, and passed out
- >I throw the bottle into the brush and pick her up, putting her over my shoulder
- >I catch up to the rest of the group and tell them Fluttershy was just too tired, so I would take her to to her room and lay her down
- >the walk to our rooms was uneventful, thankfully, so I opened her door and walked in
- >the first thing I notice is that she has curtains...
- >I lay her down on her bed and pull back the covers
- >which is when I see a picture of me and the sweaty shirt I had thrown in the hamper
- >even worse, sweat wasn't the only liquid on the shirt
- >honestly, where the hell does she even get the time to do this shit, it isn't possible...
- >I retrieve the picture and shirt, and then cover her
- >after that, she moans and mumbles
- >"Oh anon, not there, it's too dirty...!"
- Fucking fuck?
- >wake up feeling refreshed, and the only thought I let worm through my mind is that I'm sure Fluttershy couldn't have done anything to me last night
- >I wish I could wake up feeling like this more often...
- >...maybe I should've kept that spray bottle...
- >ah well, no use regretting something
- >I go to the bathroom with a new set of clothes, and all necessary toiletries
- >after stuffing my clean towel into the hole, I get undressed
- >I open the shower curtains and nearly fall when I see Fluttershy snuggled up to the same shirt from last night
- >and I think it's even slimier than before...
- >I cover my shame with the mostly transparent shower curtain
- "How the hell are you even awake!"
- >"Oh, well, um, I think that s-since I use it so m-much, it doesn't affect me as much..."
- >son of a bitc-
- "GET OUT!"
- >after she leaves, I get in the shower and turn on the water
- >the water isn't spraying
- >I look up and see a camera hastily taped into place
- >she really didn't think that one through...
- >or any of her other plans, I suppose...
- >I get clean and dressed quickly
- >I glance at the shirt and decide to burn it before I leave Canterlot
- >I open the door to leave my room
- >all the girls are waiting for me, they all look pretty impatient
- >apparently they sent Fluttershy in to wake me up so we could all leave and eat breakfast at Pony Joes
- >also apparently, but not to the others, Fluttershy got a little carried away
- "Whatever, let's get going then."
- FlutterWHY?