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Croquet

By: ChallengerAppeared on Dec 22nd, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.04 KB  |  hits: 71  |  expires: Never
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  1. >"HUZZAH! ANONYMOUS, THE HAIRLESS APE, SHALT SURELY FALL BEFORE OUR MIGHT"
  2. "That's right, ham it up blue horse. Better for when i complete wipe the floor with you"
  3. >"YOUR SPIRIT IS STRONG, BUT YOUR SKILLS ARE NO DOUBT LACKING"
  4. "How about you shut up and let me take the damn shot before I come and stick this up your amble posterior"
  5. >"WHILE WE APPRECIATE THE FOREPLAY, WE WISH TO REMIND YOU THAT OUR SISTER' S BEHIND IS FAR LARGER THAN OUR OWN"
  6. >That first part makes you shudder
  7. >Scratch that, this whole situation makes you shudder
  8. >You and your big mouth, went and spouted off at Luna about being royal was so easy
  9. >One thing led to another, and now you're trying to beat her at croquet
  10. >Problem, you don't fucking know how to play croquet
  11. >All you know is that it generally involves hitting balls with sticks
  12. >Like golf, your remember seeing that on TV back on earth
  13. >You line up your mallet, with a clear shot into a hoop
  14. >Steady...Steady...And you've launched it clean out of the field
  15. >Way to fucking go
  16. "Heh-heh, oops", you stammer out as you put on your best pokerface, "Fault 1"
  17. >You grab another ball and try again
  18. >Same result
  19. >Wow, you are really bad at this
  20. >Look tentatively at Luna
  21. >"R-right, now that you've used up both of your...what did you call it?"
  22. "Faults?"
  23. >"Faults, right, it is now our turn"
  24. >Shit, did you get that right? Lucky guess
  25.  
  26. >Many minutes later
  27. >How the hell do you get into these situations
  28. >You're now teeing off atop an elaborate fountain
  29. >"Anonymous, what ARE you doing?"
  30. "Playing through, Celestia"
  31. >With that, another might swing of yours has your ball sailing thought the window of a near by shop
  32. >Hopping off the fountain, you begin doing jumping jacks
  33. >Luna sees this and charges at you
  34. >"PREPARE YOURSELF, FOR WE ARE GOING FOR THE BLOCK"
  35. >She dives at you, but you nimbly jump out of the way as she sail under your feet
  36. "8...9...10! Ha! 12 points for me! What's the score?"
  37. >"432423 and a smiley face to... 73435 and a drawing of dick"
  38. "BOOM! SUCK IT!"
  39. >Today was a This is the best game ever kind of day
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