Title:           Croquet
Author:          ChallengerAppeared
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/u8ERiyyZ
First Edit:      Sunday 22nd of December 2013 07:10:44 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 22nd of December 2013 07:10:44 PM CDT

>"HUZZAH! ANONYMOUS, THE HAIRLESS APE, SHALT SURELY FALL BEFORE OUR MIGHT"
"That's right, ham it up blue horse. Better for when i complete wipe the floor with you"
>"YOUR SPIRIT IS STRONG, BUT YOUR SKILLS ARE NO DOUBT LACKING"
"How about you shut up and let me take the damn shot before I come and stick this up your amble posterior"
>"WHILE WE APPRECIATE THE FOREPLAY, WE WISH TO REMIND YOU THAT OUR SISTER' S BEHIND IS FAR LARGER THAN OUR OWN"
>That first part makes you shudder
>Scratch that, this whole situation makes you shudder
>You and your big mouth, went and spouted off at Luna about being royal was so easy
>One thing led to another, and now you're trying to beat her at croquet
>Problem, you don't fucking know how to play croquet
>All you know is that it generally involves hitting balls with sticks
>Like golf, your remember seeing that on TV back on earth
>You line up your mallet, with a clear shot into a hoop
>Steady...Steady...And you've launched it clean out of the field
>Way to fucking go
"Heh-heh, oops", you stammer out as you put on your best pokerface, "Fault 1"
>You grab another ball and try again
>Same result
>Wow, you are really bad at this
>Look tentatively at Luna
>"R-right, now that you've used up both of your...what did you call it?"
"Faults?"
>"Faults, right, it is now our turn"
>Shit, did you get that right? Lucky guess
 
>Many minutes later
>How the hell do you get into these situations
>You're now teeing off atop an elaborate fountain
>"Anonymous, what ARE you doing?"
"Playing through, Celestia"
>With that, another might swing of yours has your ball sailing thought the window of a near by shop
>Hopping off the fountain, you begin doing jumping jacks
>Luna sees this and charges at you
>"PREPARE YOURSELF, FOR WE ARE GOING FOR THE BLOCK"
>She dives at you, but you nimbly jump out of the way as she sail under your feet
"8...9...10! Ha! 12 points for me! What's the score?"
>"432423 and a smiley face to... 73435 and a drawing of dick"
"BOOM! SUCK IT!"
>Today was a This is the best game ever kind of day