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The Catquestria Collection

By: Cat-Anon on Mar 4th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 20.04 KB  |  hits: 89  |  expires: Never
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  1. This is the Catquestria Collection
  2.  
  3. >Day cats in Catquestria.
  4. >Wake up, Twilight is sleeping on your bed.
  5. "Get off the bed Twilight."
  6. >T:But it's so soft!
  7. "Get out or no pets, you shed quite a bit."
  8. >T:Fine...
  9. >You continue to do your morning ritual.
  10. >Shit, Shower, Shave.
  11. >You walk downstairs.
  12. >RD: Now is the time...
  13. >She pounces on your head.
  14. "Damn it RD, stop attacking random things."
  15. >RD:I can't help it, it's in my nature.
  16. "At least calm down, your making a wreak."
  17. >You go ahead and pour yourself some cereal.
  18. >You hear a crash.
  19. "Rainbow Dash!"
  20. >RD:Sorry, Twilight was showing me the red dot and I HAD to catch the red dot, I had it but it keeps getting away somehow...
  21. "Whatever, just chill."
  22. >You return to AppleJack eatting your cereal.
  23. "Damn it AJ."
  24. >AJ:I Gota eat someday.
  25. "Fine..."
  26. >You pour the bowls with dry cat food.
  27. "Let's hope that holds her long enough."
  28. >How did they convince you to let them move in?  
  29. >You hear a knock at the door.
  30. >It's Fluttershy yet again.
  31. >F:Hey Anon, is purring your fetish?
  32. >She starts to purr extremely loudly.
  33. "Stop that, it's annoying."
  34. >She continues.
  35. "Seriously stop."
  36. >No stopping at this point.
  37. "Don't make me get out the spray bottle."
  38. >She instantly stops.
  39. "Ok, now leave."
  40. >F:Pet me and I will leave.
  41. "Fine."
  42. >You give her a quick pet across the back.
  43. >You close the door.
  44. >Fucking Fluttershy.
  45. >Time to go.
  46. >You are walking to the store to get shit for yourself and the cats.
  47. >As you are walking, other cats would try to rub on your legs.
  48. >The only reason they try to do that is to get petted with your "magic fingers."
  49. >As you walk into the story you are confronted with Rarity.
  50. >R:Hello Anon, what brings you here?
  51. "It's a store, what do you think?"
  52. >R:To say hi to your best friend Rarity of corse!
  53. >She keeps staring at your hand.
  54. Well, I better be going...
  55. >R: Why not give your friend a little pet while your going?
  56. >She gives you the bedroom eyes.
  57. "Ugg, alright, only one."
  58. >You quickly give her a pet.
  59. >R:Watch the coat!
  60. "I better be going."
  61. >You hurry up and get what you need and high tail it out of there before she wants more.
  62. >You arrive at your house.
  63. >You open the door and see RD sleeping on the couch.
  64. >Aww, she looks so cute and innocent.
  65. >You proceed to give her a belly rub.
  66. >It's a trap!
  67. >Suddenly she bites you and starts kicking your hand.
  68. >Hurts like a mother fucker.
  69. "Why did you do that RD?!"
  70. >She boots it right when you said that.
  71. >Mother Fucking RD, she never acts up THAT bad.
  72. >Suddenly you see something. It looks like catnip...
  73. "So that's what's wrong with RD..."
  74. >You walk into your room to be welcomed to purple hair all over your pillow.
  75. "Damn it Twilight."
  76. >F:Hello Anon.
  77. "Holyshit.png"
  78. >There's Fluttershy with a ball of yarn.
  79. >F:Are balls of yarn your fetish?
  80. >F:No one can resist ball of yarn...
  81. "No, a ball of yarn isn't my fetish, nor well it will ever be."
  82. >You pick up Fluttershy and drop her outside the door.
  83. >You close the door quickly before she can come in.
  84. >Fucking Fluttershy.
  85.  
  86. //////////////////////////////////////
  87.  
  88. >Day Cats in Catquestria.
  89. >Wake up.
  90. >No Twilight in your bed.
  91. "What a relief."
  92. >Triple S.
  93. >Walk downstairs.
  94. >Notice RD is staring at something in between the fridge and the stove.
  95. >She gets into a pouncing position.
  96. >Suddenly she jumps into the crack and pulls out a mouse.
  97. >RD:Hey look! Breakfast.
  98. >I swear RD is like a cheetah, a fast killer.
  99. >You eat some AppleSnaps.
  100. >You pour the dry cat food into the food bowls.
  101. >You go back to check on RD.
  102. >Applejack and RD are eating the mouse.
  103. >You quickly grab the half eaten mouse and throw it into the trash.
  104. >AJ:Hey! I was eating that!
  105. "Disgusting."
  106. >Knock at the door.
  107. >It's WAY too fluffy Fluttershy.
  108. >You can nearly see her face that fluffy.
  109. >F:Hey Anon, are extremely fluffy cats your fetish?
  110. "No..."
  111. >F:Oh ya, are you going to the Cat Scratch tonight? Hear it's going to be a blast.
  112. "Forgot about that club, heard Vinyl Scratch is playing."
  113. >F:Ya it's going to be a blast!
  114. "Alright whatever."
  115. >You close the door and walk to the living room.
  116. >You see Twilight sleeping as usual on the couch.
  117. >There's purple cat hair all over,
  118. "God damn it."
  119. >T:What?
  120. "Off the damn couch."
  121. >You grab Twi and put her on the floor.
  122. >You brush the couch and lay on it,
  123. "Time to crash."
  124. >...
  125. >Wake up.
  126. >Your covered in the remaining Twi hair.
  127. >You look at the clock.
  128. >9:00pm, one hour until party at the Cat Scratch.
  129. >Don't want to show up covered in Twi hair, the others might get a idea.
  130. >You change clothes.
  131. >Eat some leftovers for dinner.
  132. "Time to go guys."
  133. >You watch as your roommates walk out of the door.
  134. >...
  135. >You arrive at the Cat Scratch Club with the Mane 6.
  136. >You can feel the music beat pass through you.
  137. >You walk inside to find every cat either chasing the lights, doing catnip, or at the bar.
  138. >The only cat that isn't going crazy is Vinyl.
  139. "Well might as well start this party off with a drink."
  140. >You walk to the bar.
  141. "I'll have some scotch please."
  142. >You pay the bartender and walk towards a table.
  143. >You're the only one that isn't going insane with the lights and catnip.
  144. "At least the music is good."
  145. >You watch as the others party.
  146. >Pinkie is already hammered.
  147. "Boy can she party."
  148. >...
  149. >It's about midnight.
  150. >The party is starting to die down.
  151. "I better be going."
  152. >You get stopped by Rarity.
  153. >R:Where in hell do you think your going?
  154. "Home..."
  155. >R: "Not without pets your not,
  156. "No pets, you seem addicted to them."
  157. >R:Why I never!
  158. >She uses her magic to force you to pet her.
  159. >R:There, it didn't kill you did it.
  160. "What am I going to do with you?"
  161. >You continue to walk.
  162. >You get stopped again by drunk Fluttershy.
  163. "What ever it is, no."
  164. >F:You're no fun Anon..
  165. >You continue walking.
  166. >F:No! Wait come back!
  167. >You didn't care if Fluttershy was following you or not.
  168. >All you wanted is to crash.
  169. >You walk up to your house.
  170. >F:Let me pleasure you!
  171. "Lolnope.png."
  172. >You quickly close the door before she can get in.
  173. >Fucking Fluttershy, I'm not having sex with a cat.
  174.  
  175. //////////////////////////////////////
  176.  
  177. >Day cats in Catquestria.
  178. >Wake up.
  179. >You feel something laying on you,
  180. "Get out of my bed twilight..."
  181. >AJ:Pardon?
  182. "Applejack? Why are you in my bed? You know you're not to."
  183. >AJ:Asshole RD took my sleeping spot in the kitchen.
  184. "Why didn't you push her out?"
  185. >AJ:Are you joking?
  186. >AJ:Do you even know how RD acts when you try to move her?
  187. >AJ:Like shoving your hand in a blender.
  188. >You walk into the bathroom to triple S.
  189. >You find twilight sleeping on one of the towels.
  190. >You flick water in her face.
  191. >T:Hey! What was that for!
  192. "No sleeping on clean towels, I use them."
  193. >T:Hey I'm clean.
  194. "Not the way I see it."
  195. >You continue with the morning routine.
  196. >Eat some AppleSnaps and fill food bowls.
  197. >Knock at door.
  198. >It's Fluttershy yet again.
  199. >F:Hey Anon, are red dots your fetish?
  200. >She shines a lazor pointer at the floor.
  201. >F:Come chase it Anon, you know you want to...
  202. >RD:RED DOT!
  203. >Rainbow tackles you out of the way.
  204. >RD:YOU THINK YOU CAN ESCAPE ME RED DOT?!
  205. >RD:Get back here!
  206. >She starts chasing the dot in circles.
  207. >You quickly grab RD and try to put her inside.
  208. >She starts scratching the shit out of your arms trying to attack the red dot.
  209. >You manage not to bleed out as you quickly close the door.
  210. "Damn it RD!"
  211. >RD:What?
  212. "Take a damn chill pill, why are you so hyperactive in the mornings?"
  213. >RD:I don't really know, my great, great, grandfather was a Cheetah.
  214. "Whatever just no more clawing, I've lost enough blood."
  215. >You walk into the bathroom to bandage your cuts.
  216. >R:Hello Anon, what brings you here?
  217. "This is my house Rarity, how did y-"
  218. >R:Shhh, you hurt your arm.
  219. >She's starting to bandage your arm.
  220. >R:There, all done, I bet I should get something in return for my generosity.
  221. >She winks and gives you the cute eyes.
  222. >No one can resist the cute eyes.
  223. "Fine, one pet."
  224. >R:How about 2?
  225. "Whatever makes you leave sooner."
  226. >You quickly give her pets.
  227. "Now leave."
  228. >R:Alright, I know you want more.
  229. "No leave, or else."
  230. >R:Or else what?
  231. "Spray bottle."
  232. >Rarity has a worried face.
  233. >R:You wouldn't dare!
  234. >You grab the spray bottle in the cabinet.
  235. >You spray her.
  236. >R:Fuck you Anon, now I have to bath myself again.
  237. >She walks out the door while stopping constantly, licking her fur.
  238. >You close the door.
  239. "Why are these fucking cats so annoying?"
  240.  
  241. //////////////////////////////////////
  242.  
  243. >Day Cats in Catquestria.
  244. >Wake up.
  245. >You feel something furry attached to your leg.
  246. >You uncover your blankets to find Twilight cuddling with your leg.
  247. "Off the damn bed!"
  248. >You push her off with the heel of your foot.
  249. >T:I don't understand why get so mad, it's just a bed.
  250. >She walks out of the room.
  251. >You continue with triple S.
  252. >Walk downstairs.
  253. >You fill the food bowls.
  254. >Eat some buttered toast.
  255. "Applejack, can you keep an eye on Rainbow for me while I'm out with Pinks?"
  256. >AJ:I'll try.
  257. "Alright thanks."
  258. >You open the door to find Fluttershy earlier than usual.
  259. >F:Oh hey Anon what are you doing this early in the morning?
  260. "None of your business rapist."
  261. >F:Oh ok...
  262. >You continue to walk out the door.
  263. >Fucking Fluttershy, why is she so obsess?
  264. >You continue to walk to the Sugarcube Corner.
  265. "Hey pinks you wanted to see me?"
  266. >P:Hey Anon, I'll be down.
  267. "Alright."
  268. >You start to make yourself a home.
  269. >You watch as Pinkie walks down the stairs.
  270. >P:Hey want anything to eat?
  271. "I'm good."
  272. >P:Ok, so want to watch some cheesy-ass movies?
  273. "What do you have?"
  274. >P:How about "The Thing that changed the World!"
  275. "That sounds extremely stupid."
  276. >P:Soo Ya?
  277. "Yep, let's watch."
  278. >...
  279. >It's half way through the movie.
  280. >Pinks is pretty damn chill.
  281. >She is probably the only cat that you can deal with.
  282. "It's funny."
  283. >P:What?
  284. "Everyone that I know said that you are a total party animal, however, you're pretty chill."
  285. >P:You really think that I'm party animal 24/7?
  286. "Wait no."
  287. >P:Haha! You're funny Anon.
  288. "You too."
  289. >Suddenly the door slams open.
  290. >It's Fluttershy.
  291. >P:Flutters what are you doing here?
  292. >F:Get your paws off him!
  293. >Fluttershy lunges at Pinkie.
  294. >F:Anon is mine!
  295. "Oh shit."
  296. >Catfight.jpg
  297. "I think I'd better get going..."
  298. >You quickly walk out the door.
  299. >All you hear is catfight.
  300. "Hopefully Applejack has the others under control..."
  301. >You walk up to your house.
  302. >You open the door to find Applejack drunk off her ass.
  303. >A:Hey Anon, found where you hid your booze.
  304. "Damn it Apple."
  305. >You look around to find RD.
  306. >You find her clawing a chair.
  307. >She is also drunk.
  308. >RD:Heyyyy Anon, how was your date with Pinkie go?
  309. "It wasn't a date, she just wanted to hang."
  310. >RD:Whatever man ill stay quiet.
  311. >She winks.
  312. "Fuck you too Rainbow."
  313. >You walk upstairs.
  314. >You open your bedroom door to find purple cat hair all over anything cloth.
  315. >T:Oh hey Anon.
  316. "What did I tell you?"
  317. >T:What?
  318. "No getting on the bed for the last time."
  319. >You grab her and throw her outside your bedroom.
  320. >Fucking Cats.
  321.  
  322. //////////////////////////////////////
  323.  
  324. >Day cats in Catquestria.
  325. >Wake up.
  326. >Damn your feet are freezing.
  327. >You take a quick look at your surroundings.
  328. >No purple hair anywhere.
  329. >Something's wrong...
  330. "Where hell is Twilight?"
  331. >You look out the window.
  332. "Awwww shit!"
  333. >You watch snow fall on a 4 inch blanket of snow.
  334. >You continue with the morning ritual.
  335. >You walk downstairs to find Rainbow crashed on the couch.
  336. "Applejack, what's wrong with RD?"
  337. >AJ:Ah she woke up early working to make the snow."
  338. "Make the snow?"
  339. >A:Nature is lazy remember?
  340. "Oh ya, that Winter Roundup thing..."
  341. >RD:Snow is wet, I hate wet.
  342. >AJ:Ya... well, I'm going to go sledding with the CMC and the girls at Sweet Apple Orchards, want to come?
  343. "Sure, as long as Fluttershy doesn't do her weird rape attempts."
  344. >AJ:Fluttershy is harmless don't worry.
  345. "You live with me for fucks sakes and you don't see!?"
  346. >AJ:Sorry then, are we going to go now?
  347. "Alright alright."
  348. >...
  349. >You are walking down the road to Sweet Apple Orchards with Applejack.
  350. >Suddenly a snowball hits the back of your head.
  351. >You turn around to see who threw it.
  352. >You are greeted by another snowball.
  353. >P:Wow Anon, your terrible at dodging.
  354. "Ah shut it Pinks, you took me by surprise."
  355. >P:Surprise? Haha Anon you crack me up.
  356. "Whatever, at least I don't obsess over cat toys."
  357. >P:You will never understand the joy of cat toys.
  358. "Ya I won't for the simple fact that I'm not a cat."
  359. >P:Ya... Ya...
  360. >AJ:You done flirting back there?
  361. "We aren't flirting."
  362. >AJ:Alright what floats your boat.
  363. "Fuck you too Applejack."
  364. >You notice Pinkie blush.
  365. "You cold Pinks?"
  366. >P:No! I mean...
  367. >AJ:Hey guys, if you stop flirting you'll notice that we're here.
  368. >Fucking Applejack.
  369. >You walk towards the hills where the CMC are at.
  370. >You find Twilight supervising the kittens.
  371. "Sup Twi."
  372. >T:zzz
  373. "Of course she is sleeping, she is always sleeping."
  374. >You throw a snowball at her.
  375. "Wake up call!"
  376. >The snowball hits her square in the back.
  377. >She falls out of her cat bed.
  378. >T:Anon! What the hell!?
  379. "I'm going to go sleding, you need to watch the kittens, it's your job."
  380. >T:Fine whatever.
  381. >You climb the hill.
  382. >At the top you find the CMC.
  383. >Holy crap they are cute.
  384. "Hello guys,"
  385. >AB:Hey Anon.
  386. "Going sleding I see."
  387. >SB:Ya, Rarity didn't want me out in the snow because I would get wet.
  388. "I can see that"
  389. >S:Are we done yapping or are we going sleding?
  390. >AB:Ya ya...
  391. "Bye then"
  392. >You hang out on the hill for a while.
  393. "Getting late."
  394. >You walk down the hill.
  395. >Suddenly you get tackled.
  396. >You take a quick glance at the attacker.
  397. >It's Fluttershy, painted as white as snow.
  398. >Who would guess?
  399. >F:Never saw me coming, did you Anon?
  400. "For once I didn't"
  401. >F:Shhhhhh, don't talk, just act.
  402. "Fluttershy, I don't have time for this, it's freezing."
  403. >She pins you to the ground.
  404. >F:Anon, just shut up and love me.
  405. "Im not having sex with a cat."
  406. >F:Who said you had a choice?
  407. >She starts biting your hand as she starts to pull down your pants.
  408. >Suddenly a snowball hits her square in the jaw.
  409. >F:The fuck?!
  410. >P:Get your paws off him.
  411. >F:No! Make me!
  412. >Pinkie tackles Fluttershy off you.
  413. >catfight.png
  414. "I'm just going to go..."
  415. >P: I think that would be best.
  416. >Fluttershy slashes her claws a Pinkie.
  417. >You go ahead and walk home.
  418. >You arrive to your house.
  419. "Damn, better start a fire."
  420. >RD:Hey Anon, I heard that you and Pinks are starting to have a thing.
  421. "We're not."
  422. >RD:Face it, you obviously like her.
  423. "Ya, whatever, I'm going to bed."
  424. >You walk to your bedroom to find purple hair all over the pillows.
  425. >Fucking Cats.
  426.  
  427. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
  428.  
  429. >Day Snuggle in Catquestria.
  430. >Wake up.
  431. >You push twilight off the bed like usual.
  432. >Twi: "Hey I was sleeping!"
  433. "We already went over this, you shed, no bed."
  434. >You continue with your morning routine.
  435. >Shit, Shower, Shave.
  436. >You walk downstairs to find Dash shredding the newspaper with her sharp-ass claws and Apple sleeping on the couch.
  437. >You let them do their own thing as you get some breakfast.
  438. >You grab some cereal and a cup of coffee.
  439. >Suddenly a knock at the door.
  440. >You open the door to find Fluttershy sitting on the porch.
  441. "Go away, I don't want to deal with you today."
  442. >She stood silent for a while.
  443. >Then she whispered something to herself.
  444. >You lean closer.
  445. "What?"
  446. >F: "I said..."
  447. >F:"SnuggleTime!"
  448. >She jumped into the air and attached to your face.
  449. >You fall backwards in shock.
  450. >She claws your face to keep on.
  451. >She then starts to rub herself on you purring.
  452. "Stop that Flutters!"
  453. >She tightens her grip as she snuggles you.
  454. >It hurts like a motherfucker.
  455. >You manage to get her grip loose.
  456. >You fling her off as you run inside.
  457. >AppleJack was watching in the window.
  458. >AJ: "Snuggles?"
  459. "Shut up."
  460.  
  461. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
  462.  
  463. >Day cats in Catquestria.
  464. >Wake up to Twilight and Rarity laying on your bed.
  465. "Rarity!? What you doing here and Twi, we've been over this a million times, you shed, no bed."
  466. >T:"Whatever Anon."
  467. >R:"Hey give her some slack, it's a comfortable bed."
  468. "I don't care, it still doesn't explain why the hell you are here Rarity..."
  469. >R:"Well I was doing some midnight walking and it started to rain, Sooo I took shelter in your house."
  470. "How did you get in?"
  471. >R:"Eh... The window was open.
  472. >You look out the window to see it pouring like hell.
  473. "Damn, this is probably the most rain we've had in months."
  474. >T: "Well we wouldn't have this storm
  475. If fucking Rainbow Dash wouldn't be so damn lazy."
  476. >R: "Ya, kinda ironic that she is the element of loyalty and she's the exact opposite."  
  477. "Whatever, I'm going to get some breakfast."
  478. >You walk downstairs to find almost half of Catville in your living room.
  479. "What in the living hell is going on!?"
  480. >In unison they say,"Umm, the window was open..."
  481. "Ok, get out, all of you."
  482. >"But it's raining!"
  483. >"Fuck you Anon."
  484. >"Hissss..."
  485. >"But... I don't like getting wet..."
  486. >They crowd out and all that is left are the other 4 elements.
  487. "Hey guys, any thought on why half of Catville was inside of my house?
  488. >RD:"Hey Anon
  489. >AJ:"Oops, sorry about that, kinda used your house as a safe haven from the rain for bits."
  490. "You could of told me first."
  491. >AJ:"Ya ya, whatever.
  492. >Pinkie wakes up from her nap.
  493. >P: Hey where did everyone go?
  494. >RD:"Anon shooed them away."
  495. >P:"Aww damn."
  496. >You walk into the kitchen to grab some coffee.
  497. >You find this pinkish-purplish Cat going through your booze.
  498. "HEY, I said SCAT!"
  499. >She runs out with your bottle of red wine.
  500. "HEY!"
  501. >Fucking cats.
  502. >You walk back into the living room.
  503.  "Alright, I'm going to go to the store because someone drank my booze."
  504. >They all stare at you in a questionable way.
  505. >RD:"Uhh... What do you mean by someone?
  506. >The amount of stupidity and annoyance hits you square in the head.
  507. "Someone; Somecat, I don't care."
  508. >You grab your wallet and walk to the doorframe.
  509. "I'll be gone, make sure that Fluttershy isn't let in."
  510. >AJ:"Eh... Sure, whatever you say."
  511. "Good."
  512. >You grab your umbrella and walk out the door into the hellish downpour of rain.
  513. >Gladly the market isn't too far
  514. from here.
  515. >Also the umbrella keeping you from soaking.
  516. >You always liked the rain.
  517. >The sound is relaxing and it feels good to the touch.
  518. >However the rest of Catville seems to make a big fuss about it.
  519. "Damn embarrassing."
  520. >You look around as you walk.
  521. >Not a soul on the streets.
  522. >You make your way up to the door of market.
  523. >You find a note taped to the door.
  524. >It reads:"MARKET CLOSED DUE TO RAIN."
  525. "Fucking shit..."
  526. >Your socks are soaked.
  527. >You make your way back to your house.
  528. >You open the door to find some of the cats from before came back.
  529. "God damn it, can't leave for 10 minutes without something crazy happening."
  530. >All the cats stop to stare at you in the doorway.
  531. "Alright, I want everyone here to leave... NOW!"
  532. >They all jump up and out the door like a flood of furriness.
  533. >All that is left are the elements chilling on the couch, high on catnip.
  534. "You all too, I want some alone time."
  535. >P:"Alright, fine"
  536. >They all walk out of your house.
  537. "Ahh... Time away from those annoying cats."
  538. >You walk upstairs to find Fluttershy napping inside your underwear and sock drawer snuggling a pair of underwear.
  539. >You wake her up.
  540. >F:"Oh hey Anon, what bring you here?"
  541. "It's my house..."
  542. >F:"Oh that's good."
  543. >She tries to act cute.
  544. >F:"You know, we are the only ones in your house..."
  545. >F:"Maybe we can-"
  546. "No get out."
  547. >F:"Come on Anon, are you sure you don't want to do any frisky business?"
  548. "I said leave, or else I'll make you do so."
  549. >F:"And that is?"
  550. "Mr. Hoover..."
  551. >Fluttershy's eyes go wide.
  552. >:F"N-no I don't w-want to see Mr. Hoover."
  553. "Oh really?"
  554. >You open you closet door and bring out a vacuum.
  555. "Hey look, Hoover has something to say."
  556. >F:"P-please don't..."
  557. "I wonder what it might be?"
  558. >F:Anon this isn't funny, I really don't want to see Mr. Hoover.
  559. "I guess we'll find out."
  560. >You turn on the vacuum in a swift motion.
  561. >F:"AHH, AHH!"
  562. >F:"STOP!"
  563. >F:"STOP IT!"
  564. >F:"IT'S SCARING ME!"
  565. >F:"LEAVE ME ALONE!"
  566. >She flys around the room like a maniac.
  567. >F:"STAPH IT!"
  568. >She then bolts through the window out into the rain.
  569. >You quickly close the window.
  570. >Fucking Cats.
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