Laughter Is The Best Medicine CH6

>You glumly stare at the wall-mounted clock, the hunger panging in your stomach compounding each long minute.

>”Staring at the clock isn’t going to speed it up, you know,” Redheart sighs as she enters the room.

“I need something to focus on,” you mutter with a grimace, trying to quell this feeling in your gut. “Why do I need to starve, anyway?”

>”I told you twice already!” Redheart snaps. “For the operation, we’re going to have to put you under anesthetic, which doesn’t work if the patient has ingested food in the hours beforehand.”

“Why do I need to be under anesthetic anyway? I thought this procedure was going to be painless.”

>A perplexed frown from the pony practitioner answers your question.

>”Maybe we should go through the surgery procedure, yes? Would that help put some of your anxiety to rest?”

“I’m not anxious!” You yell, shooting Redheart a deathly glare.

>”Don’t play the fool, Anonymous, I’ve had plenty of patients and I can recognise when someone’s worried.”

>She was right, of course: butterflies were circling in your stomach, nervousness chewing away at the back of your mind.

>Redheart pulls up a chair next to you, placing a reassuring hoof on your slightly shaking hand.

>”Whatever expectations you have of the procedure, I can tell you right now that they’re wrong.”

“I’m not expecting anything,” you say, pausing to think. “I’m just having second thoughts with all this magic stuff. And if I have to admit…”

>”What is it? Is something wrong?” Redheart asks with a hint of concern.

“Well, I… I’m scared of needles.”

>Redheart blinks at you, before the corner of her mouth twitches.

“No, don’t you dare-“

>Your threat is cut short as Redheart bursts into laughter.

>”That’s it? That’s what you’re worried about?” Redheart snorts.

“Hey, I thought you were meant to reassure me and stuff, not make fun of my fears!”

>”I’m sure your ego can take this hit,” Redheart snickers. “Anyway, I do apologise for laughing. I only did because I expected you to start listing off some horrific medical complications that had slipped your mind.”

“Hey, I can if you want!” you chuckle. “Did I mention that I’m a haemophiliac? Better be careful with the scalpel, Redheart.”

>”Good thing I’m not doing the surgery then, I’d hate to get blood all over my uniform. You wouldn’t want me as the surgeon anyway, as I have a 100% mortality rate for every patient I work with.”

“You’ve killed every time you operate on someone?  I have to admit, that’s impressive.”

>Redheart smirks before her hoof once again finds itself on your hand.

>”See? Don’t you feel better now?”

“I suppose. Although, black humour isn’t really to my taste,” you say with a sigh. “I still don’t actually know what the procedure will involve though.”

>”Well, for a start, we’ll be performing a surgical cut that exposes the bone.” Redheart says, pointing at your leg.

“Why do you need to cut so deep?”

>”If we cast the healing spell from the skin inwards, it’d take a lot more effort to reach the actual bone itself, which is the part that needs to heal.”

“I understand. You said it’ll take a couple of weeks for the accelerated healing to work, right?”

>”It might be longer, but I can’t see it being longer than a month. Of course, you’ll still have to go through rehab, which isn’t going to be very pleasant.”

“And by that you mean it’s going to be hell, don’t you?”

>”Of course, but I wasn’t going to put that worry on your mind just yet. You’ve got enough to be nervous about as it is.”

“Agreed,” you mutter. “Say, where’s Pinkie Pie today? Not like her at all to not show up, especially with the operation due tomorrow.”

>”There’s a reason for that,” Redheart says with a guilty tone. “I told her not to show up.”

“Wait, what?” you exclaim in exasperation. “Why would you do that?”

>”Look, I know you and Pinkie get along great, and I didn’t want to be a jerk like this, but I couldn’t let her show up when you’re tired and undergoing the fast for tomorrow. She’d only do more harm than good.”

>You sigh disappointedly as Redheart’s frown softens.

>”It’s only a day anyway, I’m sure once you wake up from the operation, she’ll be sitting right beside your bed.”

“I know…”

>”I didn’t think you’d be this disappointed or that you’d start missing her so quickly.”

“I don’t miss her, I’m just… bored.”

>You silently fume at Redheart’s smug, knowing grin before she bursts into laughter.

>”Oh, don’t give me that look, Anon. When Pinkie’s visited you every day for the last three weeks, I’d expected you to be a little upset at her absence.”

“I’m not… Forget it. Isn’t there something else we can talk about?”

>”We can discuss the weather, gossip behind ponies backs, or I can quiz you on what the medicine was like in your world. Take your pick.”

“Where’s the option where I have a nap?”

>”Fine, be that way,” Redheart mutters sarcastically. “I’ll leave you alone then, if you need some rest.”

>You nod in response as Redheart takes her leave.

>Silence immediately descends, prompting you to shut your eyes and distance yourself from your worries.

>A metallic clang from nearby interrupts your moment of rest as you recoil in surprise.

>There, in the small gap of the open window of your room, nestles a large hook with a rope trailing downwards.

>Strained sounds of grunting reach your ears as you wait in anticipation.

>A few seconds later, Pinkie Pie pulls herself up, squeezing through the window and collapsing onto the hospital floor.

>”Guess who?” she pants, sweat soaking the pitch-black sneaking suit covering her body.

“You do realize that stealth suits only work at night, right? That’s how camouflaging wor— oh forget it.”

>”I know I really should listen to Redheart and not bother you today, but I knew the operation was tomorrow and it just wouldn’t do if I didn’t wish you good luck beforehand!”

“Damn it, Pinkie,” you groan, before tiredly raising your arms.

>The embrace that follows is unusually tender: rather than the excited, rib-breaking hug that Pinkie would normally lay upon you, it’s a softer, gentler hold.

“You’re not worried, right?”

>Pinkie’s grin falters for a second, before returning in all its glory.

>”I was worried, but then I remembered how good the doctors here were when Dashie got her wing broken. And I thought you’d rather see a smile on my face than a frown!”

“Heh, you got that right.”

>”I want to see a smile on your face as well, though! Otherwise you’ll make me all sad, and then I can’t cheer you up!”

“Don’t worry Pinkie. I promise that I’ll be positive about this,” you chuckle. “I’m going to insist on one thing though. When I recover from this, please don’t throw me a party.”

>”I wasn’t going to, Nonny. I know you don’t like surprises!” Pinkie says with a devious giggle.

“I don’t want a normal party either.”

>”Oh darn, I was hoping you wouldn’t see through that.”

>Pinkie Pie’s face contorts, before her eyes widen.

>”Oh, oh! I have an idea!”

“Lay it on me, Pinkie.”

>”Ice cream!” she exclaims enthusiastically, happily bouncing in place. “Everyp0ny knows that ice cream is the best thing after surgery!”

“Come on, Pinkie. My legs are getting operated on, not my tonsils.”

>”That doesn’t matter! Don’t you know ice cream makes everything better?” she says in an almost teasing manner. “Why do you think mares eat whole tubs of Haygen-Dazs when their coltfriends break up with them?”

>You think over the scenario for a moment, before sighing.

“I suppose it’s not quite a party, is it? And ice cream is pretty awesome… Alright, I’m game.”

>”Great! I’ll get you a cone… no, a cup! A full tub! With every topping we can think of!”

“Thanks for thinking of me, Pinkie. You don’t even know how much I appreciate it.”

>”I’m looking out for my friends! No need to thank me!” she giggles, an adorable blush forming at the corners of her smile.

>A sudden shuffling from outside the room captures both your attention, as the two of you share a startled look.

>”Shoot, I better get going before Redheart finds out. She was right though, you need your rest.”

>She approaches you once again with her forelegs raised.

>”One for the road?”

“Of course, Pinkie. One for the road.”

>You embrace your small pink friend once again, your nose buried in her sweet-smelling mane.

>After the gesture of friendship finishes, she trots back over to the window before turning round.

>”See ya tomorrow then, Anon.”

“Looking forward to it already!”

>She gives you a heart-warming smile, before mounting the rope and descending out of sight.

>You listen out for the soft sounds of her descent before shifting in your bed.

>Pinkie and Redheart were right when they insisted you needed some rest.

>Closing your eyes, you quickly drift off into a gentle sleep, filled with vague dreams of ice cream.

 

>You awaken slowly, rubbing the tiredness out of your eyes.

“Ugh, how long was I out for?” you mutter, glancing up at the clock.

>”A few hours, I’d assume,” a soft voice answers.

>You almost yelp in surprise, caught off guard by the unknown presence in your room.

>To your left sat an unusually tall pony, its ethereal-like mane blowing in a non-existent wind.

>A pair of large, delicate looking wings lays nestled by its side while a prominent crown sits nestled in front of its horn.

>You immediately recognise who this figure is from an apt description Twilight had told you a few days ago.

“Princess Celestia?”

>”My apologies for scaring you, Anonymous,” she says with a laugh. “I should have realized you’d be groggy after a nap.”

“It’s fine, er, your Majesty,” you mutter awkwardly.

>Fuck, why would she be here? Did Redheart know she was coming?

>”Majesty?” Celestia exclaims, a disbelieving smile on her lips. “My, you are polite, aren’t you?”

“It’s better than being rude,” you stutter, mind reeling for an appropriate response.

>”No need to be frightened, Anonymous. You’re acting as if I’m here to persecute or interrogate you.”

“Sorry, I… I just don’t like surprises. Ask Pinkie Pie, she’ll confirm that.”

>Celestia giggles softly, her hoof covering her mouth.

>”I would not have assumed the two of you to be such good friends, given Pinkie’s spontaneous nature. Then again, it is Pinkie Pie we’re talking about: I don’t think she’s even capable of letting a friendship go unformed.”

“She’s persistent, alright. Given how boring this place can get, it isn’t exactly a bad thing.”

>Celestia nods silently, her eyes focusing on your casted legs.

>”I am sorry that you wound up in such a predicament, especially with the strain of culture shock bearing down on you. My student, Twilight, has already informed me of the circumstances regarding your entry into Equestria and while I have never before heard of such summoning, I will do everything in my power to help you.”

“Thank you, Princess. I’m just curious though…”

>”Yes?”

“Er, why are you here?”

>She blinks in surprise, her serious demur shattered.

>”I’m sorry?”

“Why did you wait until this particular day to come visit me? Not to be rude, of course, but I would have figured meeting the cripple alien would have been higher on the pony princess priority list.”

>”I was going to attempt a visit much earlier, but the nuances of inter-kingdom politics kept me occupied for much of these past weeks. Word of advice: never try to engage in complex diplomatic conversations with a ticked-off Gryphon prince.”

“I’ll bear that in min- wait, did you say ‘gryphon’?”

>”Unfamiliar with them? They stand slightly taller than a pony, like to show off their claws and beak, and they’ve got quite the ego on them.”

“Sounds like hard work.”

>”Oh, yes, they can be right brutes if they want to,” Celestia says with cough. “I didn’t come here to unload my problems onto you, though. Please forgive my ramblings.”

“Heh, it’s alright.”

>Celestia nods before sighing.

>”Anyway, the reason I decided to organise this impromptu visit was simply to wish you good luck with the operation tomorrow. Positive thoughts can do a lot to help a person’s mood as I’m sure you’re aware.”

“I appreciate it, Princess,” you chuckle.

>”What’s so humorous?” she asks inquisitively.

“You’ve got the same twitch as Twilight.”

>”Twitch?”

“The slight hesitation when you speak, the way your foot scuffs along the floor… You’re probably dying to ask me questions, aren’t you?”

>Celestia blinks in surprise, before bursting into laughter.

>”Very good, Anonymous! I have to admire your perceptiveness,” she giggles before composing herself. “Naturally, I would love to know more about you, your world, and the beings that inhabit it. Of course, I shall not force myself upon you — I understand if you’re reluctant to divulge information to me.”

“I’m not going anywhere and it’s the least I can do to repay you.”

>”Repay me? For what?” she responds incredulously.

“Gracing me with your presence, of course.”

>”Oh, come now, Anonymous. There’s no need to be that flattering,” Celestia chuckles. “My advisors and various upper-class subordinates may enjoy being buttered-up, but I find it rather humorous.”

“I was being sincere. Back in my country, the prime minister wouldn’t just visit any normal guy in hospital, you know?”

>”But you’re not exactly normal now, are you?” Celestia says softly.

“Hah, fair point.”

>The two of you share a small chortle before Celestia raises an eyebrow.

>”What do you mean by ‘Prime Minister’ though?”

>You pause for a second, considering Celestia’s position as princess.

“Well, back in my country, we have a system where everyone over the age of 18 votes for whoever we want to be in power.”

>”A single person in charge doesn’t sound very democratic.”

“There’s also the Parliament to keep the Prime Minister in check. Anything he wants to do has to be passed by the Parliament, to prevent any corrupt individuals from taking control.”

>”I see. It sounds like quite the system.”

“It works most of the time, except for when an idiot does happen to get into power. Then you have to put up with his nonsense for 4 years before he can get the boot,” you grumble. “I take it that system would be pretty foreign here if it’s a monarchy?”

>”We have not known true democracy for well over a thousand years now,” Celestia admits.

“A thousand years? That’s a hell of a lone time to keep a monarchy going.”

>”My sister and I managed mostly fine, barring the occasional war or psychopathic hell god rampage.”

“Well, colour me impress-wait, your sister and yourself? Surely you must be mistaken.”

>”I have no reason to lie to you.” Celestia laughs.

“But that’s… that’s impossible! You’d have to be a thousand years old!”

>”And indeed we are. I assume from your shocked tone that such longevity isn’t a characteristic of your world, no?”

“I’ve heard of people that lived to be 120 or so, but damn. Pardon my tongue, but you must have seen some shit in your time, haven’t you?”

>”That’s perhaps the most appropriate phrase I’ve ever heard. Yes, Anonymous, I have definitely seen some things in my time.”

“I’d love to hear some stories, at another time perhaps… You mentioned a sister?”

>”Why yes, Princess Luna.”

“Luna and Celestia… I’m betting the astronomical connection between your names isn’t just a coincidence, right?”

>”Right you are. I am the Princess of the day and my sister is the Princess of the night.”

“So, what, you worship the sun and moon?”

>”We control the celestial bodies, actually.”

>You look her straight in the eye, before bursting into laughter.

“Pffh! For a second, I almost… thought you were… serious...” you whisper, as Celestia stares you down with a serious eye. “You’re telling the truth, aren’t you?”

>”Again, for what reason would I lie to you?”

>You rack your brain for an answer, before sighing.

“You know what? I can deal with this. Why wouldn’t a pony have the ability to control the sun?”

>”I take it your solar system abides by different rules?”

“We let gravity do the hard work. Hey, want to hear a pretty cool feat humanity accomplished a few decades ago?”

>”Please, do tell me.”

“We actually managed to set foot on the moon!” You exclaim proudly.

>”And? We can do that easily with magic.”

“We didn’t have the convenience of magic. We just strapped ourselves into giant rockets and fired ourselves into space, just to prove that we could do it.”

>”Hmm. I suppose without magic it is indeed quite the feat to travel to other celestial bodies…” Celestia muses. “I can’t imagine a world without magic, though. How do you ‘humans’ manage without it?”

“We found ways to compensate. We’ve climbed the highest mountains, explored the deepest oceans, delved into the heart of the mysteries of the universe, and taken our first tentative steps into space, all through our technological advancements and the will of man.”

>”Interesting. Given how well you humans supposedly adapt to new situations, it’s no wonder you’re getting on so well here.”

“Well, barring the magic, sun moving princesses, and talking horses, it’s no different than home really.

>Celestia smirks.

>”I’m glad you’re not feeling completely alien to this world, then.”

“Thanks. In all truthfulness, I did feel out of place when I first arrived, but everyone was too nice for those feelings to persist.”

>”That is wonderful to hear,” Celestia says sincerely. “It’s heartwarming that the magic of friendship can even transcend the social barriers you brought with you.”

>The room falls silent for a moment, before Celestia rises from her seat, towering over the bed.

>”I am afraid my time here is running rather short with so many topics yet to pursue…”

“There’ll be another time, Princess. Best of luck with the gryphon problem.”

>”And best of luck to you too, Anonymous.”

>Celestia gives you one last smile, before leaving the ward, her hoofsteps quickly growing faint.

>A strange feeling of happiness washes over you, as you mull over the conversation.

>Celestia had imbued a weird sense of hope within you, and you knew that no matter what, tomorrow would go well.

>With the Sun Princesses’ blessing of luck upon you, what could possibly go wrong?