Laughter Is The Best Medicine CH3

>Later in the evening, you find yourself alone with Pinkie Pie, who was enthusiastically asking you questions about yourself.

>Twilight had at least foreseen your exhaustion and decided to let you recuperate your strength over night. Pinkie Pie wasn’t so considerate, however.

>Well, she was being considerate, but not in a good way. Ignorance would be a better term to label her with.

>”So what was your place back home like?”

“Eh, I’d rather not talk about that right now…”

>”Ok then, what about friends? Did you have many of them, what were their names?”

“I don’t fancy talking about that either.”

>”Okie Dokie! So, what do you think of Ponyville so far?”

“You do realise I’ve only seen the inside of this hospital room, right?”

>”And what do you think of it?” Pinkie Pie asks with a beaming smile.

“It’s functioning…” you mutter, staring at the clock on the far wall, counting down the seconds until Pinkie Pie leaves.

>Your stomach suddenly rumbles with a surprising volume, as the pink pony flinches.

>”You must be hungry!” she squeals, and you sigh.

“No, I’m fine-“

>”Don’t be a silly filly! I’ll be right back with the nurse!” she exclaims, leaping up and galloping for the door.

“You honestly don’t have… Ah, fuck it” you mutter, as the mare takes off along the corridor.

>A few seconds later and Nurse Redheart is shunted into the room, Pinkie’s head furiously pushing against her back.

>”That’s enough Pinkie!” she snaps, before clearing her throat and turning to you. “Is there something wrong, Anonymous? Is Pinkie Pie being too… taxing?”

“Well… not yet, really. What she dragged you here for was-“

>Your stomach rumbles again, inciting Pinkie Pie to bounce up and down.

>”See? He’s starving, we gotta get him some food pronto!”

“I’m honestly quite fine!” you contest, before your stomach lets loose its biggest groan of complaining yet.

>”Hmm, your stomach certainly says otherwise… Are there any dietary requirements humans have in particular? As your nurse, it’s my job to make sure you aren’t poisoned.”

“Er, I can eat everything short of hay and grass. You have normal hospital food here, right?”

>”That we do. I’ll be right back!”

>Redheart makes her way out of the room and within milliseconds, Pinkie Pie is back in your face.

“Before you start asking questions again, maybe it’d be best if I got some answers. I am in a little more precarious position, am I not?”

>”Whoopsy, of course you are! What do you want to know?”

“Well, let’s start out with something simple. How many other types of ponies are there? Twilight was a unicorn, and you’re a normal pony… Well, as normal as a talking bright pink hyperactive cotton-candy maned pony can be.”

>Pinkie Pie responds with a cheerful giggle.

>”Well, there’s earth ponies like me and Applejack, unicorns like Twilight and Rarity, and pegasi like Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy!”

“Wait, pegasi? You mean horses with wings?”

>”Ponies with wings, actually!”

“Er, right. Ponies with wings… man, this is surreal. Is all of Equestria this weird?”

>”You betcha! Once we get you back on your feet, you’re going to love it!”

“Heh, if you say so… So, when am I going to meet these friends of yours? I presume the others as well as Twilight tagged along with you on the rescue venture?”

>”You want to meet them? That’s great, we could have a party right here tomorrow!”

“I never asked for a party, Pinkie.”

>”Don’t be a shy guy, Nonny! I throw a party for every new arrival in Ponyville, and you especially deserve to have some fun!”

“Kinda hard to have fun when you fucked yourself off a tree and broke both your legs after warping to a foreign land of talking ponies for no rhyme or reason…”

>”You gotta smile through the bad times!” Pinkie squeals, ruffling your hair unhelpfully. “Besides, they say laughter is the best medicine, and what better way to get you laughing than a Pinkie Pie party!”

“The only people who say that are clowns who failed in their life-long dream of becoming a doctor.”

>”But I never wanted to be a doctor, silly bones!”

>You glumly lie there in response, before sighing in self admitted defeat.

“Fine. You can organise your inane “Pinkie Pie party” or whatever. Just don’t expect me to be in a celebrating mood, alright? And if you’re friends are as annoying as y-… if they’re annoying, then I hold the right to remove them.”

>”If that’s what it takes you to enjoy it, then I agree!” Pinkie Pie exclaims, shaking your hand enthusiastically. “Anyway, I had loads more stuff I needed to ask you! What’s your favourite type of cup-“

>”That’s enough Pinkie,” Redheart says with a tone of finality as she carts a wheeled tray into the room. “It’s time for Anonymous to eat and rest.”

>”But… but!”

>”No buts, you’ll have plenty of time to talk to him tomorrow!” She snaps, giving Pinkie a fierce glare.

>”Aw… ok then, see ya tomorrow Nonny…”

“It’s…”

>You almost chide her on the use of the annoying nickname, but her sudden dejection catches you off guard.

“Fine, cya tomorrow Pinkie.”

>You sigh in relief as the excitable earth pony leaves you alone with Redheart.

>”Here’s something to keep you going,” Redheart says as she wheels the tray over to you. “It’s not much but it’ll have to do.”

>Upon the tray sat a strange paste-like substance that vaguely of vegetables, a unidentifiable cube of jell-o and a single glass of water.

“Heh, truly the meal of kings…”

>”I don’t think you’re in a permission to complain right now.”

“I’m not complaining, I’m bitching. There’s a subtle difference.”

>You reach over and grasp your unconventional dinner tray, before digging in.

“Well, it doesn’t make me want to evacuate my digestive system through my mouth…”

>”I’ll take that as a good sign.”

>You wolf down your food at a blistering pace, satiating the growls of your stomach.

>”Good. Now, try to get some rest,” Redheart says, lowering your cast-bound legs onto the bed. “If you need me, there’s a pager on the bedside table within reach.”

“Thanks, I guess. I suppose I should be grateful that you bothered to take care of me like this.”

>”It’s what I signed up for when I became a nurse. Now, please go to sleep.”

“Yes ma’am…” you chuckle sarcastically, as Redheart turns out the light in the room.

>As the door shuts behind her, you suddenly feel strangely unnerved, the silence of the hospital almost deafening to your ears.

>You hated feeling this isolated, lying here immobilised in the middle of nowhere…

“Maybe Pinkie Pie’s company won’t be so bad.” You whisper to yourself, pulling the bed-sheets tight around you.

>Sleep did not come easy that night.

 

>The following morning you groggily open your eyes, feeling oddly drained and uninspired.

>You attempt to haul yourself out of bed, blearily wondering why your body refused to respond.

>As your eyes take in the sight before you, the memories of yesterday rush back, crushing your morale once more.

>Of course, you were still in the hospital with shattered dreams and legs: it’d be too cliché if you had just woken up in bed at home…

>You continue to lie there amongst the ruffled sheets and self-felt pity, before you decide to do something.

>Within a few moments of pressing the bedside pager, Nurse Redheart is by your side, smiling patiently.

>”Good morning, Anonymous. Did you sleep well?”

“The sleeping was fine, it’s the waking up that’s a soul crusher…”

>”Huh?” she frowns, an eyebrow raised in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I half expected… half hoped that I’d wake up somewhere that wasn’t here. Not intending that as an insult against your company, of course…”

>”Hah, don’t worry about it. The less people I have here, the better; that just means more people are fit and healthy.”

“That’s true…” you chuckle. “Has Pinkie Pie been around yet while I slept?”

>”Thankfully no, you’d know if she had been through here thanks to the confetti flotsam and lingering odour of pastry.”

“She was serious about throwing me a party, wasn’t she?”

>”Unfortunately… yes. She’s got quite the peculiar streak, that mare.”

“If it were up to me I’d wait until my fucking legs worked before I celebrated… still, I don’t doubt she’d burst into tears if I said no. She’s got that feeling about her.”

>”And at the end of the day, it’s better than staring at the hospital wall and talking to me for the next 12 hours, correct?”

“Hmm, we’ll have to see…”

>Your ears suddenly prick up, as a faint but definite humming comes into your range of hearing…

“No way, she’s coming this early?” you groan.

>”Early? But Anonymous…” Redheart giggles while motioning to the clock. “It’s 4pm.”

“You’re shitting me…”

>”You certainly needed your rest last night.”

“I was hoping for a bit of peace and quiet before I had to deal with that pink nuisance…” you mutter.

>You pick up 5 other excited voices following Pinkie Pie, steadily making their way to your room.

>A few seconds later, Twilight and 4 other ponies make their way in, carting a large wrapped box between them.

“Hey Twilight. Hello… bah, I’ll remember your names in a sec.”

>”How are you feeling?” Twilight asks, ignoring the whispers and giggles of her flanking friends.

“I feel ok, all things considered… what’s in the box? I’m going to guess it’s for me, right?”

>”Of course!” Twilight giggles, levitating the box over to you with a short burst of magic.

“Levitation, huh? That’s pretty cool.” You chuckle as you fiddle with the wrapping paper. “Say, why didn’t Pinkie come-“

>Your vision is suddenly filled with an all encompassing pink haze, as a party whistle smacks you dead in the face.

>”Surprise!” Pinkie Pie cheers, her smile as wide as possible. “Isn’t this the greatest… wait, why are you frowning?”

>”He’s not frowning Pinkie, he’s fainting!” Redheart yells, her voice strangely distant.

>Your senses dull and darken, and the last thing you see before darkness swallows you is the sheepish grin of the pink menace beaming down at you.