Laughter Is The Best Medicine CH2

>”Do you think he’s awake?”

>”Shh, just let him be. He clearly needs his rest.”

>”But I wanna meet him already! C’mon Twilight!”

>”I said no, Pinkie! Now be quiet and leave him alone!”

>The seemingly distant voices rouse you from your aching slumber, your eyes slowly opening.

>Above you, there was a smooth white ceiling, a dull row of lights embedded in it.

>Your head weakly turns to the side source of a high-pitched beeping: you are vaguely surprised to see a heart-rate monitor standing watch over your bedside.

>Beside the monitor stood a tall IV stand, its twisting tubes leading back into your arms.

“So I’m in hospital… thank God for that…”

>”I’m not sure who ‘God’ is, but I know he’s not the only one you have to thank.”

>Slowly, you turn back to face the source of the voice, gulping hesitantly.

>Standing at the other side of the bed are two small equines, eyeing you with pity and curiosity.

“You… you can talk?” you gasp, attempting to ease yourself upright.

>”No, no, no!” The pink one squeals. “The nurse said to stay absolutely still!”

>The purple pony, sporting an unusual appendage from its forehead, sighs in frustration.

>”Pinkie, if it’s still alive after falling out of a tree, breaking both its legs and crawling half a mile through the forest, then I doubt shifting itself into a more comfortable spot will do anything to it.”

>The pink one appears to consider this for a moment, before grinning.

>”Alrighty then!” she squeals, before bouncing over to you.

>Before you can react, she’s dragged you upright, stacking pillows behind your back.

“Th-thanks, I guess…” you stammer, unsure of how to react to the presence of the talking horses.

>Your mind blanks as silence descends on the room, the ponies silently imploring you to speak.

“So I, uh… yeah. Talking… ponies…”

>”You sound surprised!” the pink one giggles. “Does that mean you’ve never ever seen a pony before, ever?”

“We have ponies, but no talking ones…”

>”That doesn’t sound very fun! How do ponies live without laughing and talking and stuff?”

“They just sort of… sit in fields and eat grass.”

>”Wait, where in Equestria are you from?” the purple pony interjects.

“Equestria? I’m from… I’m from Earth. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that I’m horribly lost, aren’t I?”

>”Hah, I get it!” the pink one giggles, and you raise an eyebrow.

>”You know, ‘go out on a limb’? It’s funny because of your-“

>”PINKIE!” The purple pony cries out. “You can’t joke about that!”

>”But he was the one joking about it, not me!”

“Uh, m-maybe we should dial this back a bit and start from the beginning.” You stammer. “Yeah, let’s maybe introduce ourselves first. I’m Anonymous.”

>The purple pony frowns. ”Anonymous? That’s your name?”

“I know it’s slightly unusual, but yes. That is my name.”

>”Well, if you say so… My name is Twilight Sparkle. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“I wish I could say the same, Miss Sparkle, but in all truth this isn’t pleasant at all…”

>You move your attention to the excited pink pony beside Twilight.

“And what would your name be?”

>”I thought you’d never ask! My name’s Pinkie Pie, it’s absolutely great to meet you!”

“Pinkie… Pie? I guess it’s… appropriate.” You chuckle. “And you thought my name was weird, Twilight…”

>Another short pause.

“So uh, how is that you two are… y’know, talking?”

>”Well…” Pinkie says. “First we open our mouths, and then we-“

>”That’s not what he meant, Pinkie.” Twilight mutters in exasperation. “He just said that he’s never seen a talking pony before.”

“Yeah, exactly Twilight. Where I’m from, animals don’t talk or think or build hospitals. This is all very… confusing.”

>”Well, you’re still on Earth, Anonymous. What region did you come from?”

“Uh, does the name ‘Europe’ ring any bells?”

 >Twilight frowns. “I’ve never heard of that place before, never seen it on a map either.”

>Twilight’s confession causes your heart to sink.

“No, that can’t be right, that can’t be possible!” you yell. “This has to be… a dream! I must have been in a car crash or something, and this is how my mind is coping with it…”

>”Is he saying we’re not real?” Pinkie inquires. “I’m pretty sure we’re real, right Twilight?”

>”Er, yeah Pinkie. We’re real…” Twilight mutters. “Listen, Anonymous. I know you’ve been under a lot of trauma as of recent, and perhaps your mental faculties aren’t all together, but I assure you… what you’re seeing and hearing right now is real.”

>You avoid the ponies’ gaze, reluctant and unwilling to accept your fate.

>”Come on Nonny! I pinkie promise everything is going to be ok!” Pinkie Pie yells, bouncing up and down excitedly.

>You close your eyes, breathing in heavily, before turning your head back to the duo.

“You promise?”

>”Absolutely! I never ever break my promises!” Pinkie exclaims triumphantly, her smile reaching ludicrous proportions.

“Fine then… I suppose we might as well discuss the elephant in the room now-“

>”There’s an elephant in the room? Where? Are we playing hide and seek with it?”

“What? No Pinkie, it’s a term of speech… never mind. What I meant was: how banged up are my legs?”

>”Well…” Twilight says hesitantly. “I suppose you could be happy that they weren’t amputated.”

“Look, I can see that they’re completely broken!” you yell, motioning to the end of the bed. There lay your legs, raised on a pulley above the mattress, adorned in plaster casts. “Just tell me how long I have to put up with this!”

>”I… I don’t know how long it would take to heal. We’ve never seen a… er, what exactly are you?”

“I’m a human. Homo Sapien, if you must know.”

>”You’re a coltcuddler? Aw, I’ve always wanted a gay friend!” Pinkie squeals in excitement.

>If you had liquid in your mouth, you surely would have spat it out at that moment.

“W-what? Coltcuddler? I never said anything about my sexuality!”

>”You’re not denying it either!” Pinkie says, giggling to herself.

“I… Homo Sapien is the scientific name for the human race. I never implied that I was gay, Pinkie Pie!”

>”Ooooooh… aw.” Her face contorts into a grimace of disappointment.

>”Don’t mind Pinkie Pie, she’s always this strange.” Twilight interjects. “I can go fetch the nurse if you want, she’d have more of an idea than I would in regards to your stay length.”

“That’d be a start, yeah… hurry back soon.”

>”I will. Pinkie, stay with Anonymous, would you?”

“Done and done!” Pinkie says, offering a mock salute to Twilight, who rolls her eyes before walking out of the room.

>As the purple pony leaves, Pinkie starts beaming at you.

“Uh, yeah…?”

>”Come on Nonny, give me a smile! It’s not so bad!”

>You put on your best frown in protest.

>”I don’t see you smiling! Let’s turn that frowny upside downy!”

>Despite your best efforts to remain sullen, Pinkie Pie’s enthusiasm is… infectious.

“Fine, you win…” you chuckle, as Pinkie beams in approval. “Hey, when Twilight said that I had someone else to thank, what did she mean? Any idea?”

>”Oh, that’s easy! It was thanks to me that we found you in the nick of time!”

“It was you…? I find that rather hard to believe.”

>”You better believe it! I woke up this morning feeling even weirder than usual and my tail wouldn’t stop twitching and I just knew something was going to happen and I thought a new pony might be arriving in town but I waited for hours and hours and hours and nop0ny arrived and I didn’t know what happened and then my Pinkie sense told me to go to the Everfree forest and Twilight was like ‘Pinkie that doesn’t mean anything’s going to happen’ and I was like ‘but what about those times when stuff did happen?’ so we went out into the forest and found you and brought you back here!”

>Pinkie pants happily as your brain tries to process the plethora of information just divulged from the exuberant mare.

“So you used your… intuition, to locate me?”

>”Yup!”

“I don’t know what to think of that…Screw it, I’m in a land of candy talking horses, a sixth sense for locating cripples is the smallest of surprises. I believe you.”

>You chuckle.

“I guess I had a guardian angel looking out for me. A cotton candy haired, hyperactive pony angel…”

>”You sure do, Nonny! Oh we’re going to be the best of friends, I just know it!”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit forward?”

>”Not at all! I love to make new friends, and I’m only happy when my friends are happy!”

“Well, I appreciate the offer Pinkie, but I’d like to get settled in here first before I make any friends. Hell, I’ll probably be going home before that time occurs anyway.”

>”Don’t be a silly billy! I can’t let you stay in this lonely hospital bed without some company! Everyone needs friends!”

“Look, Pinkie. I’m sure you’ve got good intentions, but-“

>”Aw c’mon Nonny! I did totally save your flank, you know?”

“I know, but…”

>Pinkie’s eyes widen, tears lingering the corners.

>”Pretty please?”

>How could you say no to that face?

“Fine… you can stay and keep me company, if that’s what you wish upon yourself.”

>Pinkie’s eyes widen further, and before you can react she’s wrapped you in a bear hug.

>”Woohoo! Thanks Nonny!”

“Oh god that’s still sore!” you yell, forcing the mare off you, who grins sheepishly at you.

“Just don’t call me Nonny, ok? I’ve had a host of dumb nicknames before, just stick with Anon or Anonymous.”

>”What about Mous?”

“No.”

>”But-“

“Not even once, Pinkie.”

>”Ok then, Nonny!”

“Anon!”

>”Fine! I’ll call you Anon, even though that’s really boring and not fun!”

“It might be ‘boring’, but it’s my name and I won’t settle for being called anything less.”

>You hear hooves at the door, and to your grateful surprise Twilight has returned with a nursing gown-clad pony in hand.

>”Hello there, Mister… Anonymous?”

“Hello there. I take it you’re in charge of me, yes?”

>”Indeed I am. My name is Nurse Redheart; I’m here to make your stay in Ponyville as pleasant as possible.”

“And as short as possible, I’d hope.”

>Your sarcasm elicits a small smile from the nurse, who lacked the horned appendage Twilight possessed. You really must ask about that....

>”Unfortunately, I can’t comment on the length of your stay. Your case is rather… unique, and so any predictions I could make on your incapacitation would be pointless.”

>You ponder her words, before sighing heavily.

“I suppose you aren’t sure on what to do with me, no? You’ve probably never seen a human or a pair of broken human legs before…”

>”You’d be correct in assuming that, but we here at Ponyville Hospital pride ourselves on our skill and merit. I can assure you we will do everything we can to get you back on your hooves… er, feet.”

“I can only hope you’ll live up to your word… still, thank you for treating me. I wasn’t quite sure whether you’d treat me like a regular animal or not…”

>”Absolutely not! You’re not the first non-pony visitor here, and you won’t be the last.”

“Good to hear, I can scratch xenophobia off my list of stuff to worry about…”

>”Pffh, that’s a funny word!” Pinkie giggles, oblivious to the deathly stare you give her.

>If she was already irritating 20 minutes after you formally met her, who knows how long you could last? How long until you went insane?

>”Well Mr Anonymous, I shall return back once your good company has left. You still require your rest, and I’ll be sure to enforce it.”

“You won’t need to enforce it, Pinkie here is draining enough as it is…” you mutter.

>”No need to be such a grumpy dumpy! Where’s that smile I told you to put on?”

“I left it back at the point where I broke my legs… Hey Twilight!” you yell in an attempt you change the conversation. “What’s the deal with the pointy thing on your head?”

>”My horn?”

“Yeah, the horn. Any rhyme or reason to it?”

>”Well, I am a Unicorn: why wouldn’t I have a horn? How else would I cast magic?”

>Never before in your life had a sentence had such implications.

“Magic and Unicorns… of course…”

>”Is there something wrong Nonny?” Pinkie inquires, perplexed by your sudden change of mood.

“No Pinkie, it’s just… I suddenly feel a lot further away from home now.”

>Your confession appears to sadden the pony, before she perks up.

>”Then we’ll just have to make you feel even more at home!”

>You pause for a moment, torn between gratefulness and annoyance.

“Perhaps… perhaps that wouldn’t be so bad after all.” You smile, as Pinkie Pie does likewise. “Yeah, that wouldn’t be bad at all…”