Title:           Celestia gets a belly rub (PiE)
Author:          CanadianPotato
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/049fneQE
First Edit:      Tuesday 8th of October 2013 04:29:07 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Tuesday 8th of October 2013 04:29:07 PM CDT

>You trudge up the path to your house, droplets of rain obscuring your vision.
>Another day over, thank Christ.
>You could now kick back, relax and…
>Hang on, something’s not right.
>You tense up as your front door swings open, as a strong gust of wind creeps past you.
>Senses on high alert, you walk forward, slowly entering your house.
“Hello?”
>A creaking from upstairs answers your call, and you gulp.
“Who’s there? Answer me!”
>If the mystery intruder was a thief, they’d have tried to get out by now. If it was someone who wanted you dead, then they’d have attacked you already.
>You cautiously ascend your stairs, still readying yourself for a possibly fight.
>Another creak: you suppress your fears, and stride towards your bedroom, determined to find the source of the noise.
>You push open the door to your bedroom, and stride inside.
“Who the hell are-“
>The sight before you hits you like a freight train: all your cognitive processes cease, unable to comprehend the scenario unfolding.
>Sprawled comfortably across your bed, staring back at you with magnificent violet-tinged eyes is a majestic winged-unicorn: something so familiar, yet you were still dumbfounded.
“You…” you finally whisper.
>Princess Celestia giggles. “Yes, me.”
“No. You can’t… this isn’t happening…”
>”I think you will find it is in-fact happening.”
“Shut up. You aren’t real, you can’t be real!” You knead your knuckles into your forehead, grimacing. “Ok. I’m going to turn around, count to ten, and when I look back, you’re going to be gone. That’s how this is going to work.”
>Celestia claps her hooves together.
>”Oh, is this a magic trick? I love those!” she laughs in gentle sarcasm.
>You block out her voice, spin on your heels, and shut your eyes tightly.
>As the seconds count down, you wonder what would have triggered this. Maybe it was a hallucination? Or were you just simply going insane?”
>The ten seconds pass, and you turn back to your bed. Disdain fills you as Celestia remains, a smirk plastered across her face.
>“I take it you know what I am, correct?”
“Yeah, you’re not real, that’s what!”
>”I do not doubt my own existence. Why not come over and prove it for yourself?”
>You hesitate, before striding across to her and poking her head gently.
>You recoil as your finger makes solid contact, undermining everything you know with the tiniest of touches.
“Fuck! No! This can’t be happening! You can’t be real!”
>”Oh calm down. It is not that great a deal you know” Celestia says, a hint of annoyance in her regal voice.
“Not a great deal? Not a great deal! You are an imaginary talking horse, and you are on my bed! I think that’s a big-goddamn deal!”
>”If you would sit down, preferably before you go insane and collapse, I shall explain everything.”
>You gape at Celestia, before hesitantly sitting down at the foot of the bed.
“Now, I can see that you’re confused by my presence. I know of the medium through which I am presented-“
“Wait, you know you’re from a children’s TV show?”
>”Indeed I do. Infact, I am the one who implanted my vision into the minds of the show’s creators.”
“You… this is surreal. This is too crazy to not be a hallucination.” You let out a hollow chuckle. “So, a princess from an alternate reality implants an idea of their world into the brains behind My Little Pony, and then appears in the bedroom of a guy who watches the show. There better be a good reason for this.”
>Celestia giggles again. “I have a reason, yes…”
>…
“Well, you mind sharing it?”
>”I want my belly rubbed.”
“Oh, that’s alr…. Wait, what?”
>”I want my belly rubbed. By a human.”
“I don’t even…”
>”My belly. Your hands. Rubbing.”
“Why on earth do you want that?”
>”I may be a Princess, but even I indulge in some private luxuries once in a while.”
“This is ridiculous…” You rub your eyes in frustration, before sighing.
“Look, if I give you a belly rub, will you then go home?”
>”I promise.”
>You take a few seconds to think about it.
“Fine. One belly rub, no funny business.”
>”I wouldn’t dream of it. Besides, I checked your computer, so I know you’re not one of “those” bronies.”
“You checked my computer?”
>”In fairness, given the reputation of bronies, I had to make sure I wasn’t dealing with some pervert who would try and take advantage of me.”
“You know about the fandom?”
>”Oh yes. While I personally think it’s… intriguing, I have decided to hold off proper contact with your world for at least another 20 years.”
“I can’t argue with you there. If a portal to equestrian was opened, you’d either end up with the entirety of Equestria getting raped or millions of slaughtered neckbeards.”
>Celestia nods, before stretching out, belly exposed. “I agree. But enough talk: begin the rubbing, would you please.”
“I’m still convinced that this is a dream, hoax, or some symptom of a mental illness, but I’ll be damned if I give up the opportunity to rub a princess-pony’s belly.
>”That’s the spirit!” Celestia chuckles, and you position yourself beside her.
“Ok, so…”
>”Just rub it gently. That’s all you need to do.”
>With a slight hesitation, you place your hand on her white, expansive belly.
>”Yes, that’s it.” Celestia encourages.
>Your hand trails along her belly, and you make sure to keep away from her… “private” regions.
>Celestia hums happily as your stroke her, hand moving up and down her chest.
>It’s just like stroking a dog, if said dog was a magical sentient horse princess from another dimension with a warped sense of humour.
>Celestia continues to coo, hum and whistle as you rub her down as non-sexually as you can.
>”Scratch my ears.” She says, breaking the silence.
“Huh?”
>”My ears. Scratching.”
>You stop and stare at her, before rolling your eyes.
“You better leave after all this is done.”
>Celestia smiles as your shimmy up, leaving a hand on her belly. You gently place a finger at the nape of her ear, before digging it in.
>”Oh how heavenly… I wish I had fingers…”
>You continue scratching Celestia’s ear: you have to refrain from d’awing as it begins to twitch.
>Meanwhile, Celestia’s face seems to be etched in bliss: a dreamy smile accompanying glazed over eyes.
>The hour creeps on slowly, time marked only by the gradual aching in your arms as you stroke backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards…
>Celestia suddenly stretches out, before kneeling upright on the bed.
“You done? Ready to go home?”
>”Verily. I must say, you did an excellent job.”
“I feel defiled…”
>”I’m sure you enjoyed it. Maybe I’ll be seeing more of you in the future, if my cravings demand satiation…”
“Next time, don’t bust down the door to get in.”
>”Very well. Oh, and be sure not to tell anyone of our little secret.”
“You think anyone would believe me?”
>The two of you share a laugh.
>”No, I suppose they would not. See you around…”
>With a flash, Celestia disappears, and you sit absent-mindedly feel the warmth of where she lay.
>You sure as hell didn’t expect to return home to this…
>And why the hell did she choose you out of all the people in the world?
>As you ponder these questions, a smile forms on your face.
>By leaving you with these answered questions, Celestia had guaranteed that you’d be happy to see her next time.
>The sly bitch…