Red Neck Anon One Shot

>Day thriller in Equestria, be Redneck Anon and after a series of unfortunate, but hilarious events, you are now teamed up with Cadence.

>At the tallest building, of the empire, you and Cadence look at all the places not to go.

"We gotta get this here sombromb, away from dah Crystal Methpire!"

>"Can you PLEASE stop calling it that."

"Sorry purtty horse lady, dem words just often go tagether back home."

>The large black bomb with a distictive horn protruding out of it ticks down the seconds.

>30, 29, 28..

"Its no use! Er goose is well cooked!"

>"No, its not."

"Huh?"

>"Give me the bomb, I'll take it a safe distance away from here."

"No way, we's in this tugether, ya drank from dah koolaid with me, we's kin now. Sept I would never sleep with ya."

>"Damn it Anon, there is no time! Give me the bomb!"

"No! Ya got yer whole life ahead of ya, wit dat white horse and yer yungins."

>"How did you know I was pregnant!?"

"I lived on a farm woman!"

>10, 9,

>You look in all directions before tears swell in your eyes,

"Tell my wife/cousin, ah love her."

>You jump off the balcony and plummet to the ground.

"YEEEEEHAAA.."

>BAYSPLOSION!!! B-B-B-B-BAYSPLOSION AGAIN!!!

>Cadence weeps as the dark bomb explodes midair and away from the building. Shining Armor breaks through the door, "Cadence! Are you all right!?"

>"I'm fine sweetie, but...Anonymous."

>The two hug as the screen goes to black, much later, the two stand in front of a statue of you.

>It depicts you fighting off 4 royal guards, while holding a bottle of whiskey. Cadence wips away a tear and smiles. "That was the first time I ever saw him, do you think he's looking up at us from hell? As he would say."

>"I'm sure he's in hell right now, having the time of his life. C'mon sweetie, lets get you back home, Twilight can’t look after our kids forever you know."

The end