A night to remember

>The sunlight spilling in through the window warmed your face

>You sigh contentedly

>You are Anon, and this moment of simple bliss was where you belonged

>It's a real shame it couldn't last longer

>You open your eyes slowly, letting them get used to the light

>Stretching out across the bed, you enjoy the coolness of the sheets against your body

>Wait

>This isn't your bed

>Fully alert, your eyes snap open

>The room was a far cry from the familiarity of your own home

>Lilac wallpaper adorned the walls, and a solid looking armoire sat in the corner of the room

>Whose bad have you woken up in?

>It has curtains for some reason

>Oh shit

 

>You know whose bed this is

>You flinch as something stirs underneath the covers beside you

>Edging forward very carefully, you gently peel back the covers

>Rarity's slightly dishevelled form lay supine, mumbling and sporting a sleep mask

>You really fucked up this time, Anon

>Looking around in panic and desperation, you spot your clothes in a pile next to the bed

>It is at this point you realise just how incredibly naked you are

>Classy, man

>Being as quiet as possible, you slip out of the bed

>Phase one of the escape plan going well

>Picking up your clothes, you dress as fast as possible

>Which turns out to be quite difficult

>Hopping around whilst attempting to pull on an errant sock, you land on a squeaky floorboard

>Standing dead still, your eyes snap back to the bed

>Shit shit shit, don't wake up

>Rarity shouts loudly about how shirtdresses are an abomination and rolls over

>You wipe away the beads of sweat that have formed on your forehead

>That was too close

>You open the door and exit the room

>Exhaling out of relief, you make your way downstairs with difficulty

>Whatever you did last night, you don't remember a damn thing

>What in gods name possessed you to sleep with Rarity?

>You don't even like Rarity!

>Every time you come here for new clothes, she huffs and tuts and makes you feel like shit for wanting casual pants instead of suit trousers

 

>You rub your head

>It's pounding like a drum

>You just need to get home and-

>"Good morning mister Anon!~"

>Fuck I don't even

>You almost trip down the last couple of steps in surprise

>Before you stands Rarities little sister

>You think her name is Sweetie Belle, or something like that

>She's been nice enough in the past, but this isn't the morning for it kiddo

"Oh.. Hey there kid."

>You sound like you got throat raped by a sandpaper dick

>You cough to clear the crap out of it, gagging on the aftertaste of who knows what

>She's just standing there, staring at you with those big eyes and grinning

>Wait.. she can't know why you're here, right? She's just a little filly

>Right?

"Well, it's getting on in the day, I'd better clear out."

>You make your way towards the door

>As you do, she begins to hop around your legs, singing

>"I know something you don't know~"

>The state you're in, that isn't surprising

>But you bite

>Maybe she knows how you got into this mess

"Okay kid, I'll give. What's the secret?"

>She giggles

>"You and my sister were shouting at each other last night. It woke me up."

>"You kept talking about some bag, and Rarity was yelling at you for-

>She giggles

>"Peeing on her house"

>You close your eyes and frown in embarrassment

>"Why's your face all purple?"

>What?

>You touch your face

>Mistake. It feels like your face just went three rounds with a train

>You wince

"Did I get beaten up last night?"

>Sweetie shrugs and skips off

>"I dunno mister Anon"

>You rub the back of your neck

>You hadn't noticed until she pointed it out, but everything hurt

>Still, It can't be helped

"Thanks anyway!"

>You call after her

>Suddenly, a bang sounds upstairs, like a body falling onto the floor

>Not good

>"ANOOOON!!!"

>The kraken awakes

>Time to leave

 

>You wander down the wide streets of Ponyville

>By all accounts, it was a beautiful day

>However, you (and more importantly your demon of a hangover) are having none of it  

>You'd better just go home and sleep it off

>Out of the corner of your eye, two ponies walk past wearing bright saddlebags

>Something clicks in your mind

>Something Sweetie Belle said

>You'd been ranting about a bag...

>And then, in a torrent of memory, it comes back

>Yesterday

>You'd been tasked with the delivery of the annual gem tribute to Canterlot

>You were actually quite honoured

>It was a big deal, and only the resident who had shown their true worth throughout the previous year was chosen

>You reasoned that you'd only arrived here last year, but they insisted

>You still maintain that it's a race thing

>Like putting the black kid on the front of the college yearbook so everyone thinks you're 'multi-cultural'

>Still, you're pretty sure Twilight nominated you, so you were grateful for that

>A big party was held to mark your departure

>Everyone in town was there

>You remember giving a speech about not letting everyone down

>Then you walked over to the punchbowl and then...

>Nothing

>It was as if the memories you'd had of that night had been sucked out and replaced with static

>You've been drunk before, but you'd never lost an entire night

>This was something else

>And now

>Now you had no idea what you'd done, or where the tribute bag was

>You were well and truly fucked

>You slump to the floor and place your head into your hands

>Wait!

>You got beaten up last night!

>Ouch... but it's still a clue

>Now where in Ponyville would you possibly piss someone off so much that they'd beat the shit out of you?

>Climbing to your feet, you started to walk

>You didn't know for sure, but you had a pretty good idea

 

>The Rotten Apple

>The roughest bar in Ponyville

>Well, by Ponyville standards at least

>A heated argument there is what equates to a bottle-throwing bar fight back on Earth

>Whatever you did to piss them off, you didn't really want to go back there

>Then again, if you didn't get that bag back, you were dead anyway

>Twilight takes anything to do with the Princesses pretty seriously

>She'd have your balls for this if she knew

>You arrive at the bar

>What a shithole

>Gulping nervously, you push the door and enter

>You wait for your eyes to adjust to the light

>The place is pretty empty

>The stallion behind the bar stands absentmindedly cleaning a mug

>Until he notices you, that is

>He angrily slams the mug down onto the counter

>"You've got some nerve coming back here after what you did last night"

>Suspicion confirmed!

>Oh shit, suspicion confirmed

"Look, I can see that you obviously remember me, but I have no idea who you are or what happened-"

>"A likely story that is"

>He comes out from behind the bar

>The rest of the patrons are gathering round, angry looks on their faces

>Your body is not ready

>You have to defuse the situation somehow

>You resort to falling to your knees and begging

>Not one of your finest moments

"Please, I honestly don't remember anything that happened last night! You have to believe me!"

>They stop their advance, looking at you with disgust

>The bartender shakes his head at you

>"You came in here last night piss-drunk, sat down and ordered a glass of cider, and before you'd even touched it, you turned on everyone, claiming someone had stolen your bag."

>Wow, you sound like a real douche

>"Then you started to tip over tables and wreck up the place."

"And that's when you all beat me up?"

 

>He looks at you with genuine surprise on his face

>"Boy, you really don't remember a thing, do you?"

>You shake your head miserably

>"We all asked you to clam down and go home, at which point you started crying that we weren't your real friends and that you'd never cared for us. Then you turned around and ran slap bang into the wall."

>Well. Not only are you a dick drunk, you're also a retard

>"You were out cold for ten minutes, at which point you jumped up like a squirrel out of a box and ran out of the door. We didn't see where you went then."

>Oh, don't worry, you know where you went after that

>You shudder

"Can you tell me anything about where I'd come from?"

>The bartender shook his head

>"Sorry. You came in shouting about how you'd been 'Embracing your true self and being free with the animals'. Hope that helps"

>With that, he retreats back behind the bar

>Animals... animals...

>Another fragment of memory slides into place

>It's bad

>Pink and Yellow