Title:           Zen Garden
Author:          Bronitz
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/KyfD92xp
First Edit:      Saturday 11th of August 2012 03:19:43 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Saturday 11th of August 2012 03:19:43 PM CDT

Zen Garden 1/4 Anonymous 08/07/12(Tue)21:34 No.3743756
 
>you own a nice big backyard
>eight foot tall fence that is stained a dark mahogany color
>because fuck neighbors
>along the wall of both sides are rows of trimmed bamboo
>it's not legal to plant them in your county
>but fuck the county
>a nice little Koi pond with a few fish are against the back wall
>a small circular rock garden is in the center
>theres a small ground level deck coming from the house with a few chairs and metal fire pit
>the rest of the yard is a well fertizlized and manicured lawn
>you often sit on your back poarch with a drink in hand
>its one of the few calming things in your life
>but not today
>no today you come home from work to find fluffy ponies
>you angrily sip your calming beverage while you survey the scene before you
>a plank in the back corner of the fence is eskew
>must have been loose and they pushed their way in
>about a dozen fluffies are in various stages of destroying your yard
>the rock garden is filled with 8 fresh foul fluffy turds
>whole patches of grass have been chewed down to the roots
>a blue pegasus is relieving himself in your koi pond
>five fluffies are playing hide and seek by the bamboo
>a slightly swollen dam is sleeping next to the pond, she must have barely fit through the fence
>a mother and two foals are vigourously clearing another section of grass
>two like colored unicorns are fornicating on one of your deck chairs
>you step on the lawn, your bear foot squishing into what is most certainly fluffy shit
 
>"NO! Hooman munsta weave, Dis aw gwassies"
>a dark purple unicorn speaks up from the group playing hide and seek
>"HOOMAN WEAVE NOW OW HEWD GIVE YOU OWWIES" he yells
>you wipe the shit from your foot on a clean section of grass
>ignoring the puffing of cheecks and angry looks from the herd you walk to the hole in the fence
>you pry the board back a bit
"I'm going to go back in the house for a few minutes, please take this time to leave."
"You've had your fill of grass, just go somewhere else and all is forgiven."
>the fluffies seem a little confused by your demeanor and tone but they aren't buying it
>"FWUFFIES HEWE FIWST" declares the smarty with puffed cheeks and a stamp of his hoof
>this seems to settle it for the other fluffies, none seem motivated to move
>you go into the house and come back with a few tools
>the fluffies are still here and make more threats as you walk about
>you feel a slight poke on your ankle
>the swarty is 'stabbing' you with his horn "Hooman no wisten. HEWD GIVE HOOMAN BIG OWWIES NOW"
>all the males come to buck your legs
"How would you guys like some special food?"
>the smarty looks at you funny
"It's really good, I promise"
>"Gife special nummies and we not hewt hooman" offers the smarty
>You pull out a large knife and cut off a shoot of bamboo
>you sharpen the end and point it at the smarty
"It's a really special grass, go ahead and try some"
>the smarty looks at you distrustfully but he tentatively tries to take a bite
>you quickly thrust the shoot through his mouth and skewer him completely
 
>the fluffy screams bloddy murder
>you think you can make out the words bad, food, and hurt but you don't really care
>a few of the other fluffies cry, scream, and cover their eyes
>the mother turns her foals away, but they are already crying
>you pick up your new skewer, the smarties weight causes him to rotate till hes upside down
>his entire body is being barely supported by his lower jaw and his belly
>hes bleeding profusely from both ends and crying
>you walk him over to the fire pit, every slight jossel causing him to wince and cry out more
>fluffies soil themselves as you walk past
>the dam is still sleeping soundly somehow unwoken by all the commotion
>you mount the bamboo over the firepit like a spit
>some kindling, wood, and a match later you have the beginings of a fire
>the smarty is close to loosing conciousness, then you add the lighter fluid
>the fire flares up and completely engulfs the fluffy
>with strength you didn't suspect he had left he manages to make a truely terrible scream
>it appears to be his last as the only sounds coming from him afterwards are the hisses of burning flesh
>something about that scream shakes the mother out of her shock and wakes the dam
>the dam is currently the closest one to the pit "what smeww no pwetty?" she qurries sleepily
>the mother is pushing her foals towards the hole in the fence
>"wun babbehs, wun fwom munsta, pwease wun" she begs them in tears
>they apear to be too terrified to move but with her encouragement they begin to escape
>a couple of other ponies follow their lead
>the blue pegasus is "hiding" with his hooves covering his face
>an orange earth mare is staring daggers at you with tears in her eyes
 
>the dam has finally turned around and found the source of the smell
>"wah dat, it no smeww pwetty" she says looking at her former leader on the spit
>the charred mess is barely recognizable as a fluffy anymore
"That was your smarty friend"
"If you want to live you should follow them"
>you point towards the escaping fluffies
>horror creeps into her tiny mind as she begins to understand
>she waddles after the others, tears streaming down her face
>"DON't WEAVE MUMMEH, HEMP SAVE MUMMEH, HEMP SAVE BABBEHS!"
>her screams cause the hiding pegasus to peek up
>he runs to her side and tries to help her run faster to the exit
>they keep fearfully babbling about running from the monster
>now only the mare remains
>you walk over to her and she doesn't move
>"MUNSTA KIWW SMAWTY, SMAWTY SPECIAW FWIEND" she screams as she tries to bite you
>she was his mate, suprisingly loyal for a fluffy
>you pick her up "NUUUUUU, no hewt owange. Owange sowwy."
>well not that loyal
>you toss her in a high arc over the back of the fence
>she falls about 30 feet and lands with a soft crunch on the hard dirt out back
>you here a couple more screams
>from the sound of it she landed right next to some of the fleeing fluffies
>you take the burnt husk of the former smarty from the fire
>using the bamboo you toss him like a javelin in the same direction
 
>you pick up the tools you brought out and head to the hole in the fence
>using your cordless drill and some screws you secure the board to its rightful place
>you use a litter scoop to clean up as much of the poop as you can
>you hose down the rest and sigh at the bare patches of grass that you're going to be replanting
>well it could of been worse, you'll save all the work for the weekend
>better now to just refresh your drink and wind down with the fire