Title:           Sorry Stick (Full)
Author:          Bronitz
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/NPGhVDXQ
First Edit:      Friday 30th of March 2012 01:14:25 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 30th of March 2012 01:14:25 AM CDT

>just bought an adorable fluffy pony from your cousin
>while you've never owned on before, you had dogs, cats, even an uncle that raised horses
>you're pretty well prepared, but you've been told a fluffy pony can cause a bit of destruction since they're quite clumsy
>spray bottle's out since drowning is a #1 cause of pony death
>shock collar could start a fire...
>when she knocks over your drink trying to get your attention, you grab a broom
>she's excited first, thinking you'll play with her
>she's surprised when swing into her like a pro golfer with the broom
THIS IS MY SORRY STICK [fluffy pony]
>she's bawling, but still doesn't understand
>you slap her across the face with the bristled end
DO YOU LIKE THE SORRY STICK?
>she's simply making terrified baby noises
>hit her again, this time with a less bristle, more pole
IS THE SORRY STICK A GOOD THING?
>"No sowwy-stick!"
WILL YOU BEHAVE?
>"No sowwy-stick!"
>jab hard in the side with the handle
>"Behave! [fluffy pony] not bweak gwass!"
Good.
>sweep up broken glass
 
>[fluffy pony] is eating from her bowl, smacking her little fluffy lips with her eager chowing down
>you try to ignore it as you drink your coffee and watch the news
>your fluffy pony finishes her food and climbs up on the couch
>with her dirty hooves
Get off the couch, [fluffy pony]
>she bounces her forelegs on your thigh "Wan pway!"
>ignoring your order, she hops into your lap
>knocking your cup and spilling your drink all over the armrest
>grabbing her by the scruff of her neck, she seems to have a fleeting memory of what happens next
>she starts running in the air, "n-no sowwy-stick! Pwease daddy, no sow-"
>you toss her into her safety room and retrieve the broom
>swinging overhead, you bring the worn head down on her back
>she yelps and tries to scamper away but you've lifted her off the ground like a spatula
STUPID FUCKING PONY, THAT COUCH COST MORE THAN A HUNDRED OF YOU
>she's gibbering broken baby-talk about the implement of your wrath
>you shove her teary-eyed face into the bristles, scraping back and forth
THAT COFFEE? THREE OF YOU! THE SORRY STICK IS WORTH FIVE!
>you hold her up by the tail and start jabbing her soft belly with the wooden handle
AM I GETTING THROUGH TO YOU?
>she's trying to speak through hiccuping terrified tears but stuttering too much to speak properly
IS IT BECAUSE YOU DON'T LOVE ME ENOUGH TO PAY ATTENTION?
>"W-wuv! W-w-wuv daddy!"
LIKE SHIT YOU DO
>you drop the fluffy pony
>she immediately retreats to her little nest of blankets, hiding in the folds
You're going to stay in here until I clean the coffee off, and don't expect play time today
>stepping over the plastic gate, you hear [fluffy pony] whimper "why sowwy-stick for twying huggies?"
 
>weeks after the coffee incident
>[fluffy pony] is the dumbest animal you've ever owned
>doesn't remember why you beat it with a broom, only that the broom isn't her "fwiend"
>she's been cowering every time you went in her safety pen, only crawling out of her nest after you've left
>you take this a little more personally that is probably sane
>she doesn't notice you as she rolls a ball around her room with nose
>when she does, it's back in the wad of blankets
>you reach in to pull her out and your hand comes out wet
>she's been pissing in her bed, and now you stuck your hand in it
>you've had enough, and latch onto the nearest fluffy limb you can
>she doesn't even cry but tries to wriggle from your grip, mewling something unintelligible
>without a word retrieve the broom
>she actually shows genuine fear now and promptly pisses herself
>you toss her up, and bat the fluffy ball into the backyard
>you get your garden hose, the lighter fluid, and your best lighter
>she whines pitiably as you spray her with freezing cold water from the hose, holding her face from the stream roughly
>still sopping wet, you hold her tightly as you burn her little blankets covered in stars and little bunnies
I'm done.
>"Sowwy daddy..."
Not anymore, you little turd. You're going to someone else's problem.
>you dry her off with a clean-ish towel and back into the pen
>drop her off at the adoption center without feeding her the very next day, buy a dog