Title:           Fluffy Fishing
Author:          Bronitz
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/SFqLLxRR
First Edit:      Sunday 29th of April 2012 03:38:49 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 29th of April 2012 03:38:49 PM CDT

Fluffy Fishing Ginger Fig 04/22/12(Sun)22:20 No.1467442
 
>Lots of stray fluffy ponies in this neighborhood.
>Nobody gives a single fuck what you do to them.
>Perfect for fluffy fishing.
>Cheap way to pass an afternoon.
>Canned ravioli makes the best bait.
>Use those three pronged hooks.
>They're more expensive, but you can snag nibblers with them.
>Stray fluffy ponies always travel in groups.
>Don't have to wait long...here comes a small herd.
>12 adult animals, some foals, not bad.
>From your front porch, cast your line out.
>Fluffy ponies are all over your lawn, fucking up the grass, eating flowers.
>At least these scamper to the bushes when they poop.
>Numerous encounters with angry yard owners have taught them that much.
>Looks like one's found the bait.
>Big grey stallion.
>Sniffs at ravioli.
>"Sketties?"
>Jackpot!
>Fluffy pony gobbles bait. "Owwies. Why sketties huwt mowf?"
>Snap line tight, set the hook.
>Fluffy pony tumbles on his face.
>"Owwwwiiiiieeee!!! Munster got fwuffy...hewp pwease!!!"
>Carefully reel him in.
>Only using 4lb test line...like a challenge.
 
>Thrashing his little legs, fluffy pony is reeled in closer to porch.
>Fluffy pony crying and begging for help.
>"Fwiends" scamper over to rescue.
>Other fluffies grab hooked friend.
>Pay out a little...don't want to break line.
>Fluffy regains his feet, tries to run.
>Let him get a few yards.
>Twang line sharply.
>Hook in his mouth yanks head around.
>Fluffy pony tumbles over on his side.
>Reel him in fast.
>Legs flailing, he can't get footing.
>Confused friends are terrified.
>They can not understand or even see fishing line.
>Hooked fluffy bawls & sobs as he is pulled further & further from friends.
>Other fluffies too scared to help anymore.
>Invisible munster has gotten their "fwiend."
>Pull him up on the porch.
>"Eeeeeee! Pwease don' huwt fluffy!"
"Easy fella, let me get that hook out..."
>Pull back lips, twist hook around a little.
>Fluffy pony is screaming and crying in pain.
>It finally pops out.
>Drop fluffy into the holding pen.
>Bait hook with another ravioli...cast again.
 
>One fluffy pony has been hooked.
>Stupid fluffy ponies remain in the yard.
>Eating grass, rooting around in flower bed.
>At least you have a good fence around vegetable garden.
>Fluffies scratch at chicken-wire in vain.
>They can see tomatoes, beans & asparagus, but can't get them.
>Cry in disappointment.
>"Good nummies! Can't get!" "Fence meanie!" "Pwease gif nummies, fence!"
>Petite pink fluffy filly finds your ravioli bait.
>She's cautious.
>Afraid other fluffies might steal her treat.
>Filly does not gobble ravioli like stallion did.
>She's a nibbler.
>Very difficult to catch.
>Snap the line tight!
>You've got her...hooked in the lip by your fast move.
>Wide eyed with terror, fluffy filly freezes and pulls.
>"Owwwiiieee!!! Mouf huwt!!!"
>Gotta be careful or she'll break free.
>Slip out a little line.
>Filly tumbles over backward.
>Now you've got her.
>Off her feet, fluffy just slides across the grass as you reel her in.
>Despite her cries, no friends come to help.
>They already know there's an invisible monster here.
>Pull filly up to porch.
>This one is easier to get the hook out of.
"Okay, that's one for each of you. Take them to the back yard."
>Grandkids are happy.
"Thanks Grandpa!"
>Hand them freshly caught fluffy ponies to play with.
"Now remember to kill them before your Mom & Dad come to pick you up. Your apartment complex doesn't allow pets."
>Grandkids nod.
"We know Grandpa."
>Granddaughter takes fluffy filly out back for a fatal tea party.
>Grandson stays with you.
"Grandpa, do you think I could try?"
 
>You are so proud.
>Grandson wants to try fluffy pony fishing for the first time.
>He's only 7.
"Okay...but use this rod."
>Give him rod strung with 12lb test line.
>He's not quite ready to use lightweight line.
>Practice his cast a few times.
"Okay...all by yourself now."
>Grandson flicks ravioli bait out near vegetable garden.
"Good cast boy!"
>There's interest right away.
>Scruffy looking blue stallion sniffs bait.
>"Sketties?"
>Other fluffies hear him.
>"Fwuffy find sketties?" "Whewe sketties?" "Sketties mine!"
>They're stamping their hooves and puffing up cheeks.
>Grandson is nervous.
"What do I do, Grandpa?"
>Put a re-assuring hand on his shoulder.
"Be patient, boy. This is how you get the really big ones."
>Fluffies continue to argue about who gets the treat.
>"Am smawty-fwiend! Sketties mine!"
>Big white unicorn with brown mane pushes all rivals aside.
>With an authoritative snort, he munches on ravioli.
"Now Grandpa?"
>Shake head.
"No...wait to see if he swallows the hook."
>Patience is rewarded...Fluffy pony swallows the ravioli, hook & all.
"Now, boy! Reel him in!"
 
>Smarty-friend realizes something is wrong.
>With a shriek, he tries to pull away.
>Digs in hooves, tries to fight the line.
>Grandson tries slipping the line to tumble him over.
>It's not very effective.
>Other fluffies aid smarty-friend.
>They do more harm than good.
>Grabbing his legs, they make him loose footing.
>Unicorn tumbles over but still manages to hang on.
>Time for a trick.
>Turn on garden sprinkler.
>Sprayed with cold water, other fluffies flee.
>Grass is now wet and slippery.
>Without help, smarty-friend can not hang on.
>Grandson reels him in slowly.
>Fluffy unicorn is crying and thrashing around.
>A little scary for grandson to catch and haul in.
>You grab it for him.
"Gladys, come look at this, and bring the camera!"
>Grandma comes out to see.
>Grandson proudly poses with fluffy unicorn still hanging from line in its mouth.
>Thrashing & struggling to get free.
>Have to hold it still so it doesn't ruin the picture.
Later...
>Daughter and her husband come to pick up the kids.
>You let Granddaughter kill grey fluffy stallion with your power drill so she doesn't feel left out.
>She already killed the pink filly at her tea party.
>Fluffy pony drowned on imaginary tea.
>Grandson kills the smarty-friend he caught.
>Everybody happy.
>That night, you die because you are old as fuck.
>Last day was a happy one.
>Grandkids remember you fondly.