Title:           Fluffy Fishing 2 Fluffy Pony Pie
Author:          Bronitz
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/j0L0NW1H
First Edit:      Wednesday 30th of May 2012 11:28:39 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 30th of May 2012 11:28:39 AM CDT

>It's been a year since your husband passed away.
>He was old as fuck.
>So are you, but you are still alive.
>Husband always used to catch fresh fluffy ponies.
>Loved your fluffy pony pie.
>Tried buying fluffy pony meat.
>Few butchers carry fluffy pony meat.
>Just not worth the effort to butcher them.
>It's not very good anyway.
>Freshly slaughtered fluffy pony is best.
>Grandkids come to visit.
>Little Jimmy pulls out his Grandpa's old fishing rods.
>Going to catch you a few fresh fluffies.
>Just like Grandpa taught him.
>Granddaughter wants to learn your recipe for fluffy pony pie.
>Get the ingredients for crust ready.
>Just as crusts are being rolled flat, hear squealing from yard.
>Little Jimmy has hooked a good one.
>A few more and you'll be ready.
>Ready to make fresh fluffy pony pie.
>Pie crusts are ready.
>Little Jimmy shows you 3 fluffy ponies he's caught.
>Good ones...they look tender & well fed.
>Little Suzie eager to get started.
"What do we do first?"
>Time to clean them out.
>Pluck a terrified mare out of Little Jimmy's box.
 
>Her lip is still bleeding from fish-hook.
>"Pwease don' huwt fwuffy! Have babees...pwease wet go...babees need mummy!"
>Hold fluffy mare upside down in kitchen sink.
>Force kitchen sink sprayer up fluffy butthole.
>"Owwwwowwwwoowwwieeee! Poopies pwace huwt!"
>Butthole ring tears a little bit.
>No big deal...she'll be in a pie soon.
>Fill fluffy colon with scalding hot water.
>Plug butthole with a stopper.
"Take her outside and empty her out."
>Little Jimmy takes the first one while you fill up the second.
>Grandkids take all 3 fluffies out to the garden in turn to empty out colons.
>Fluffy ponies back in box, crying, hugging and licking wounded buttholes.
"Now gather round, children."
>Pick out first fluffy to be butchered.
>White and black colt.
>Too terrified to even beg for his life.
>Fluffy colt just thrashes his legs and cries like a baby as he's picked up by the tail.
"I'll do the first one, then you kids can try."
>Pin fluffy pony down to cutting board.
>Fluffy screams as sharp paring knife slits him from crotch to neck.
>Fluffy pony skin is very loose.
>Peel skin off like a coat.
>Strip off leg meat.
>Fillet flanks.
>Peel off back-strip.
"See, easy...who wants to try first?"
 
>Little Suzie stands on a stool at the counter.
>Other fluffy ponies in the box are bawling and begging for their lives.
>Little Jimmy plucks one out by its fluff.
>Blue mare, thrashing to escape.
>It's too much for him to hang onto.
>Fluffy mare wiggles free and runs.
>Smacks into screen door.
>Whimpering in panic, it tried to scratch thru with hooves.
"Get back here you naughty thing, don't you ruin my screen door."
>Snatch fluffy pony up by tail.
>You hold her down so Little Suzie can concentrate with the knife.
>She stabs inexpertly...it's her first time butchering a fluffy pony.
"Don't poke with the tip, dearie, slice with the blade."
>Fluffy mare is screaming in agony, foaming at the mouth.
>That's good.
>Don't know why, but fluffy pony pie comes out better when fluffy dies in great duress.
>Little Suzie finally gets the belly-slit done.
>Skin peeled off in one piece.
>Meat sliced off and put into pan.
>Little Jimmy's turn.
>Last one is a fat purple pegasus stallion.
>Again, you hold it down while grandchild does the knife work.
>This fluffy is quieter.
 
>Whimpers as tears pour from his eyes.
>"Pwease...don' undewstand...why huwt fwuffy?"
>Fluffy pony shrieks as Little Jimmy makes a swift belly cut.
>He cuts a little too deep, punctures intestines.
>Fluffy pony still wiggling in agony.
>Pinch intestines and hold them back so bacteria doesn't leak onto the meat.
>Little Jimmy finishes butchering.
"Good job, dearies."
>Show them how to season the fluffy pony meat.
>Fill pie shell.
>Bake at 400 degrees.
>Perfect fluffy pony pie comes out of oven.
>Flavor is meaty, but sweet.
>Home made fluffy pony pie is a lot of work, but it's worth it.
 
And that's the secret of grandma's fluffy pony pie.