Anon and Nona in Equestria (WiP)

 

Continuation to this: http://pastebin.com/fCDjsT4s

 

Day 463 in Equestria.

 

Anon's POV.

 

>You crack your eyes open, blinking a few times as your vision goes from blurred to 20/20.

>Holy shit your head hurt.

>You stretch out in your bed, yawning lightly as you try to wake up the rest of your body.

>That's funny, you don't remember your legs stretching over the end of the bed.

>Wait a minute.

>You jump up and spin around, surveying the bed you just woke up in as well as the surrounding room.

>There are balloons, everywhere, even the bedding is decorated with them.

>Then there is that smell. What is that?

>It smelled like...cupcakes?

>No. No no no no.

>You know where you are, this is Pinkie's room.

>The p0ny you slapped unconscious last night, literally.

>You need to get out of here.

>She may have given you a bed to sleep in, but that didn't mean she had forgiven you.

>Maybe she is waiting for you to wake up before exacting her slappy revenge.

>Shit. How did you even end up here? What happened last night?

>After you did the stupidest thing of your life, it was just hazy.

>Less thinking, more sneaking.

>P:"Good morning Anon, sleep well?"

>Gulp.

>P:"Maybe next time you play hard to get, you could do it less violently?"

>You slowly begin to turn around.

>You find the the pink mare staring up at you.

>P:"I slept great by the way, being knocked out cold and whatnot."

>Tartarus hath no fury like a mare's wrath.

"Oh, hey uh Pinkie. Uh, um. You see. Uh. Okay, Pinkie. Uh."

>Spit it out!

"You started it."

>Shit.

>P:"Excuse me?"

>This isn't going well. You can tell by her face that she is getting pretty damn angry, and your reasoning is making it worse.

>You did not want to see Pinkie angry.

>Images of suffocation by baked goods being forced down your throat started to flood your mind.

>No matter how delicious they are, that would be horrifying.

"Pinkie, I am so sorry. I was drunk and you went for um and a kiss and so then I, I...um..."

>She was eyeing you suspiciously, trying to decipher the gibberish flowing out of your mouth.

"Uhh, um."

>Say something idiot!

"You slapped me first."

>Now her eyes went wide with disbelief, eyebrows curving inward slightly to express the anger building up within her.

>You did NOT want to see her angry.

"But I know you were kidding around! I was just drunk, and I thought I was being playful too! I guess I really don't know my own strength. I'm really sorry, Pinkie."

>You really mean it, you feel bad and you are sorry.

>You also don't want cake forced down your esophagus.

>The mare was eyeing you carefully, trying to determine how apologetic you really are.

>Finally, her expression softened, and you could see happiness start to set back into her face.

>P:"Okie dokie Loki! I believe and forgive you!"

>Back to her cheery self, Pinkie made her way to the stairs.

>Thank god.

>P:"BUT..."

>NO. NOT THE CAKE.

>P:"...you owe me. Big time."

>Oh okay.

"Of course! Just wish it and it shall be done, Ms. Pie."

>You give her a warm smile as you move to her side, accompanying her downstairs.

>P:"Good! I'll keep that in mind."

>She winks at you.

>Gulp.

"Uh, Pinkie. Thanks for giving me your bed and all, but, what even happened last night that I ended up sleeping here?"

>P:"Silly filly, don't you remember?"

>You look at her quizzically as the two of you make your way to the front of the house.

>P:"No? Me neither. I just found you outside the house!"

>Well, there goes your only lead.

>Looking out the window, you can see the sun barely peaking out over the horizon.

>Nona is probably still dead asleep.

>Nona...wait.

>It came to you in a flash.

>Nona's smug face.

>Her foot extending outward as you trip and smack the ground.

>Nona knocked you out, and just left you here. She is going to pay.

>P:"Hellooooo. Equestria to Anon! Something going on in that head of yours?"

"Yes. I just remembered what happened last night."

>P:"Tellmetellmetellmetellmetellmetellme!"

"Nona. She knocked me out and left me here."

>Pinkie raises an eyebrow.

>P:"Like, she hit you over the head?"

"No no no. She tripped me, I must have fallen unconscious when I hit the ground."

>No wonder your head hurt so much.

>P:"Well, the mystery is solved then. I got to get back to baking!"

>The mare trotted off to the kitchen, already starting her job for the day.

>Fuck, you are going to get her back for this.

>She is probably going to sleep in late...especially after the party...

>Maybe you could use that to your advantage.

>As you formulate a master plan, you realize three things.

>First off, you need an accomplice of some sort.

>Secondly, you realize you are just staring off towards the kitchen, frozen in thought.

>Thirdly, Pinkie was halting her duties to wave a hoof past your face.

>Shaking your head, you snap out of your daze.

>P:"You okay there, Anon?"

>She sounds worried.

"I am fine, just thinking. Sorry."

>You sound retarded.

>Pinkie simply smiles and makes her way back into the kitchen.

>Pinkie might actually be able to help.

"Hey Pinkie."

>She turns her head to look at you, waiting for you to continue.

"How would you like to pull off a prank of sorts on Nona? I could really use your help."

>The party pony smirks.

>P:"I love a good prank, almost as much as you love owing me."

>Pinkie propped herself up against the wall behind you, supporting herself on her hind legs to reach somewhat near your height.

>This time she licks her lips seductively.

>Nervously, you scratch the back of your head and mumble.

>P:"What was that now Anon?"

>The smirk doesn't leave her face.

"Um. You know I am not really into you like that..."

>P:"Don't worry silly filly. You'll come around!"

>The mare playfully slapped you and hopped back on the ground.

>Not a second later, she freezes in place, as if expecting an encore performance of last night.

"I said it was an accident!"

>P:"Just checking, just checking!"

>You give her a small smirk as she stands there, awaiting your orders.

"Alright Pinkie, this is what I need you to do..."

 

Outside Nona and Anon's house.

 

>You carefully open the door. It'd been at least a few hours now, it's well past mid day.

>Hopefully, Nona is still out cold.

>Once you hear her snoring, you take a sigh of relief.

>Time to get to work.

>You grab onto the couch sitting in the living room and push it up against Nona's door, leaving a bit of room.

>Turning, you spot a chair and waste no time in propping it up against the door knob.

>That should keep her sealed in there. At least you hope.

>Otherwise, you'd be shaking hands with Death much sooner than you'd like.

>You make your way to the kitchen to get started, but stop.

>You need to make sure Pinkie had fulfilled her end before you did anything else.

>Making your way back outside, you peer your head around to Nona's side of the house.

>The grin on your face grew so wide, it almost hurt.

>Perfectly centered over Nona's door was a large block of rock candy.

>It was funny, here in Equestria it actually is as solid as rock.

>If you remember correctly, you lick it to eat it.

>How did Pinkie even get it here? That thing must way a ton.

>Literally.

>You shake your head.

>Better not to to question it, now less thinking, more scheming!

>You head back into the house and set a pot of water to boil.

 

Almost an hour later.

 

>The aroma of fresh pasta and tomato sauce fills the room.

>This plan is going beautifully.

>Nona is still asleep and cooking had always been a hobby of yours.

>Which is why you didn't mind making all the meals.

>Besides, Nona's cooking is shit.

>Everything she makes comes out burnt, so much so it looks like coal.

>The taste isn't far off either.

>You lay two plates of the pasta on the table alongside two tall glasses of water and silverware.

>You decide it is time, and skip to Nona's door to finally wake her up.

>Curling your hand into a fist, you begin to bang it against the wooden door.

"WAKE UP YOU FUCKING DYKE!"

>The response is an annoyed groan and the shifting of sheets.

>'Dis gon' be good.

"GET UP NONA. I MADE YOU YOUR FAVORITE DISH!"

>The groans stop, there is silence for a moment.

>You can envision her, nose pointed in the air.

>Sniffing around frantically, like a dog who got a whiff of steak.

>N:"...you made spaghetti?"

"You bet! Come on out and get it!"

>There is more shuffling, the opening of drawers. She must be getting dressed.

>Then you hear curtains being drawn back, and everything went silent.

>Looks like she found the rock candy.

>N:"...what the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!?"

>You can hear a banging, like she is trying to punch her way through the solid mass sealing off all sunlight.

"It's called rock candy Nona!"

>You cheerily sit down at the table as you prepare to feast.

"The only way to get through is to lick it, and trust me your tongue would get sore before you were anywhere near finished."

>N:"You fucking asshole, you're going to pay for this."

>No doubt, but not without taking sweet vengeance first.

>The sound of the doorknob reaches your ears, and you grin as you hear that the chair was keeping her from busting out.

>Nona went on the offensive, slamming against the door, but the couch and chair stood firm.

>After a bit, she stopped and everything went silent again.

>N:"LET. ME. OUT."

>Venom dripped from her voice.

"No."

>N:"LISTEN YOU PIECE OF SH-"

"Ah ah ah."

>You interrupt, your voice now taking a smug tone.

"I think you should be a little nicer to me, seeing as how I worked so hard on your dinner."

>There is heavy breathing.

>A punch against the wall let's you know she is good and mad.

>You could see her in your mind's eye again, grinding her teeth so hard they were about to crack.

"This is revenge for knocking me out at Pinkie's."

>N:"I tripped you, your big empty head smacking the ground is what knocked you out."

>You grab a fork and take your first bite of food all day.

>You'd really out done yourself, this was fucking delicious!

"Nona. You have to try this, I think I really did well with this batch!"

>Silence.

>You snicker to yourself as you take another bite.

"You know, if you apologize, you can start eating your plate."

>N:"I hate you."

"You know you love me.

>More silence.

"Nona, if you don't eat soon. I'll have to toss your pasta!"

>N:"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE."

"Then say the magic words."

>It was like entering into a whole new dimension of silence.

>You take another bite of your pasta and let out a loud, over exaggerated moan.

>N:"Okay. I am sorry for tripping you after the party, oh King of all cock suckers. Now will you let me out, your majesty?"

>Her sarcastic tone always gets you, and you let out a loud laugh.

>You figure that is the best you'd get out of her.

"Alright, I'll let you out right now."

>Still giggling, you stand up from the table and walk towards the door.

>You move the chair, and push the couch aside.

>Almost immediately, the door slams open.

>Nona stands there, anger burning in her eyes as she stares at you.

>You watch as the anger dissipates instantaneously once her eyes meet with her plate of food.

>She sits down in her chair and begins shoveling noodles down her throat.

>You take your seat across from her and continue eating.

"So, we even Queen of all ass lickers?"

>N:"You are lucky you made my favorite food. Yeah, we're even."

>There is a small pause.

>N:"Faggot."

>You give her your best shit eating grin before replying.

"Cunt."

>She smirks in response as you two continue your meal.

>Just another day in Equestria!