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CYOA Sage and Femanon

By: BrokenStylus on Aug 12th, 2013 | syntax: None | size: 13.87 KB | hits: 93 | expires: Never

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>Day Bad Sitcom in Equestria
>With Sage and Femanon
>Celestia thought it’d be wise to have the only two humans in the world as roommates.
>What she didn’t realize is that one was magical and the other was just... normal.
>And the normal one hates the magical one’s guts.
>Either way, the two of them are stuck together in connected rooms in a hotel next to Sugarcube Corner.
>Be Sage
>You’re running as fast as you can.
>You might have stolen some things.
>Scratch that, a lot of things.
>From that awful rich p0ny Fancy Pants
>Guards are chasing you down the pier.
>You jingle a pair of keys.
>They’re for Fancy Pant’s fucking fancy yacht.
>All you need is a single smooth ride down the river to Ponyville.
>Wait until Femmy sees this
>Be Femanon.
>You’re minding your own business right now.
>While sage is doing fuck knows what, you’re doing the smart thing.
>Paying for the both of you.
>Your rent.
>By working at Sugarcube Corner.
>Pinkie’s been spending the entire afternoon teaching you how to bake cakes.
>You have no idea what the hell you’re doing, just that you’ve made about thirty or so bad batches.
>This one is different.
>You’ve followed the Cake’s recipe to the letter.
>Triple fudge chocolate supreme.
>This is going to work.
>You patiently wait as the cake is baking in the oven.
>All is going better than expected.
>Until you hear a loud as fuck scream from outside.
“The hell?”
>Be Sage
>Going down the river like a motherfucking speedy salmon on cocaine.
>It’s been smooth sailing so far.
>The guards stopped chasing you a while ago.
>You notice something floating ahead.
>Is that a-
>DAM?
>You let out the girliest scream you can muster.
>”What in the world?”
>Fluttershy walks out just in time to see her precious aquatic woodeaters flying through the air.
>She lets out a scream louder than a jumbo jet.
“Sorry Fluttershy!”
>You speed down the river.
>Getting ever closer to your goal.
>Ever closer to Femmy’s surprised face.
>You can see Sugarcube Corner in the distance.
>Wait
>There’s Femmy!
>You walk out to the stern and drop anchor.
Femanon
>You can’t believe your eyes.
>It’s a boat.
>A giant ship.
“Is that a yacht?”
>You wonder what the hell it’s doing here.
>But you’ve got a feeling you already know.
>Pinkie looks outside.
>”Anon, the cake is burning!”
>You grumble.
“Can you get it Pinkie?”
>She gives you a salute.
>You have someone you need to see.
>You walk down to the river.
>On the bow, waving to you.
>It’s your dumbass roommate, Sage.
“Do I even want to know where you got the ship from?”
Sage
“Haha, it doesn’t matter! I just paid our rent next week. And for years to come!”
>You wait to see her happy expression.
>It doesn’t come.
>Instead she sighs.
>”Sage, where did you get the boat?”
>She looks pissed.
>Maybe this was a bad idea.
“I... uh, borrowed it.”
>”From?”
“My... rich uncle, yes my rich uncle.”
>”We’re stranded in a world filled with ponies. You don’t have an uncle here.”
>She looks even madder than before.
>Probably because of your stupid lie.
>You run back to the stern.
>You cast a levitation spell to pull up the anchor.
“Well it was nice chatting... But I have to go see my... mother.”
>”What mother?!”
>You kick it into high gear.
>Let’s get the fuck out of here!
Femanon
>Uncles? Mothers?
>The fuck is wrong with this guy?
>Did he go around stealing? Again?
>You’re getting really sick of him playing Robin Hood?
>You chase after the speeding boat.
>You don’t know how far the river goes, but it can’t be that far, can it?
>After a while, your legs tire out.
>You collapse in the riverbed.
>Damn it Sage.
>Whatever.
>You’ll clean up his mess later.
>He’s gotta turn up eventually, and when he does, you’ll be sure to give him a swift beating.
>You decide to go back to Sugarcube Corner.
>Pinkie sighs.
>”Well Femmy, you did your best...”
>You look at the grossly burnt cake in front of you.
>Damn it.
>Well, did it at least taste good?
>”It’s not the best triple chocolate cake I’ve ever had. But it’s pretty good, especially all the itty-bitty chocolaty unburny-bits!”
>She cuts off a lightly burnt slice.
>And sprays hot sauce all over it.
>”Want some?”
“Pass.”
>You open another recipe book.
>”You still want another go? Anon, maybe this isn’t for you...”
>You aren’t having it.
>As much as it pains you to use stereotypes, you’re a girl, damn it!
>What sort of girl doesn’t know how to bake a cake? Or cook?
>You could imagine what sage would say.
>”A useless one.”
>The voice in your head is pissing you off.
Sage
>Damn it.
>Can’t that girl learn to have some fun?
>Why is she always so upset with you?
>You thought girls just wanted to have fun
>Isn’t that how the song goes?
>With your superpowers, her hanging out with you should be a blast!
>But she always manages to be a naggy buzzkill.
>Always so boring.
>So what if what you do is a little illegal?
>You guys are roommates and you should be together.
>Well, not be together together, just...
>The two of you should hang out.
>Right?
Sage
>Well, nothing can be done about it now.
>Maybe you should just follow this river out to the ocean?
>You could go fishing.
>Or treasure hunting.
>That’s it, you’re going treasure hunting.
>Damned be Anon if she tries to get in your way.
>Not that she could catch you, you’re on a motherfucking boat.
>You head out towards the ocean.
>After some searching, you finally find some scuba gear.
>Of course Fancy Pants has scuba gear.
>But it’s not quite up to par with your human body.
>You adjust it with your magic.
>You suit up and dive into the vast ocean.
>A long afternoon of searching awaits.
Femanon
>You spent the rest of the afternoon trying to perfect your baking skills
>Correction, trying to prevent the bakery from burning down.
>After one too many fires, the Cakes send you home.
>You plop on your bed, tired.
>You watch as a waterlogged magician walks into your room.
“Where exactly have you been?”
>”The ocean! I went treasure hunting and I found some shells and shit.”
“Treasure hunting? Do ponies even have buried treasure?”
>”Let’s hope they do because I may have hidden some goods down under. Arr!”
>You blink.
>The fuck?
>Do not want.
“Take a shower. Rarity has that thing tonight, remember? The debutante ball with Sweetie Belle?”
>”Oh yeah, the thing with the rest of those munchkins?”
>Fillies.
“They’re called fillies. Not that you care to learn equestrian terms, but fuck... they’re fillies.”
>”You’re a filly.”
>Sage walks off to the bathroom.
“Nice comeback.”
>You call after him.
>You make a mental note to ask for a new roommate next time you see Celestia.
>Twilight Sparkle would be better.
>Hell, Rainbow Dash even.
>At least he wasn’t fully sleeping in the same room as you.
>Just joined suites.
>And he just so managed to remove the lock on the door.
>Fucking magic.
Sage
>After a nice shower, you put on that fancy three-piece suit Rarity made for you.
>Tailor made, to perfection.
>And it costed a pretty penny, but whatever!
>You’re an advocate of only the best and finest.
>You walk out of your bedroom to see a prettied up Femmy
>You also caught yourself staring at her fine tits
>You quickly look away.
>Naughty Sage
>Now is not the time to be thinking like that
>Maybe just one more look.
>She folds her arms over each other.
>Damn it.
“You ready to go?”
>”Yeah.”
>Her voice is monotone. Disinterested.
“So which mare are you taking? Am I picking her up?”
>”... mare? Dude, I’m not into girls.”
“C’mon, take a joke Femmy. Humor me.”
>She rolls her eyes.
>”We’re supposed to meet Pinkie outside soon.”
“Alright, alright, let me just grab my wallet and we’ll go.”
>You walk out of the hotel to find the bubbly pink pony waiting in a “sweet” dress.
>The only thing missing from her ensemble is a caramel apple.
>”Oh my gosh, are you super exited? I”m super excited. For Rarity! And Sweetie Belle too! Do you know what a debutante is? It’s her big debut! She’s finally going to have a party all to herself about how amazingly-super-sparkly-adorable she is! Do you think she’ll sing for us? Ya know, she has a really sweet voice. I guess that’s why her name is Sweetie Belle.”
>”Yes, Pinkie. We know.”
>”Ooh, maybe she’ll get her cutie mark at the ball! How amazingly perfect could that be?”
>Someone.
>Just kill you.
>Now.
>Fuck she is annoying.
>You look at Femanon.
>She doesn’t seem to mind.
>Or maybe she’s just really good at hiding her emotions.
Sage
>The three of you arrive at the ball.
>The boutique is just the place for such an occasion.
>It’s all tidied up.
>Classy decor.
>Nothing too festive.
>Though you could tell that Pinkie Pie was wanting to decorate a bit.
>”Hey Femmy, want a drink?”
Femanon
>You turn to look at Sage.
>He hands you a drink.
>It spills all over your dress.
>You sigh.
“Dammit.”
>You’re not going to get angry.
>Not this time.
>Not here.
>You grab a linen cloth on a table nearby and pat yourself dry.
>At least it didn’t stain.
>Smelled kinda strange though.
>What is that, white wine?
>You take another cup from the table and sip it.
>Fuck, that’s strong.
>But it’s sweet, and doesn’t have an aftertaste.
>No one in Equestria seemed to care for drinking ages.
>Welp, looks like you know what you’re doing.
>”Sage! Anon! Pinkie! Darlings, please won’t you join us?”
>You turn to see Rarity.
>She’s motioning for you to come to her table.
>Sweetie Belle, and the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders are there.
>Sweetie Belle doesn’t look too happy.
>She’s stuffed in a tiny dress.
>Tons of gaudy make up.
>This was supposed to make her look attractive?
>You questioned Rarity sometimes.
>You sit there peacefully.
>P0nies around you are talking.
>Apparently they are talking about Sage.
>You look over and see him doing magic tricks.
>Basic, sleight of hand, human magic tricks.
>The fuck?
>He can do real magic.
>Your mind begins to wonder.
>If you killed Sage tonight, would anyone notice?
>Or care for that matter?
>He seems to be the jester of the town, causing trouble that you had to fix.
>You could probably get away and blame it on aristocratic jealousy.
>There were quite a few earth ponies here, probably from Canterlot, that would have wanted his magic.
>Or killed him since he was misusing his.
>But how?
>You sip your wine.
>You blink.
>Alcohol poisoning should do the trick.
>Do p0nies have proper treatment for that?
>Probably not. They don’t even have a legal drinking age.
>It’s perfect.
Sage
>At the ball.
>News Flash: It’s boring as fuck.
>Talking to all of these pretentious, wealthy snobs is life-draining.
>Gotta take a leak.
>You take your opportunity to leave and excuse yourself.
>You go the bathroom and start pissing in the sink, cause fuck.
>Pony bathrooms are awkward as fuck.
>While pissing, you get a great idea.
>Your best idea of the night.
>You use your magic to create a doppelganger.
>Picture perfect copy of yourself.
>He can enjoy this snorefest.
>You then go home and play some Dragon’s Crown.
>Genius
Sage doppelganger
>You exit the bathroom and take your seat.
>Some stallion screams and runs out of the bathroom.
>You chuckle.
>”You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
>Femanon doesn’t look too happy.
>”Listen, just sit down. This thing is only for an hour. I don’t want you embarrassing me. Any time you feel like doing something stupid, any time you want to take a fucking breath, just stay quiet, keep your trap shut, and drink something. Got that?”
>Every time you breathe?
>Shit, that’s a lot.
>You find yourself drinking every few seconds.
>Breathing and drinking.
>”Sage, are you alright? Your face is positively red.”
>Eventually, you black out.
Femanon
>Ha! It worked.
>He’s out cold.
>And probably dead in a couple of hours.
>Ponies start to gather around his unmoving body.
>You finish your glass of wine, pour yourself another, and drink that too.
>”Uhh, Anon, is there something wrong with him?”
>You look at Sage.
>He’s lying face down on the table.
“Sorry... he gets this way when he drinks way too much. I’ll get him out of your hair.”
>You excuse yourself and carry him out.
>And then promptly place him behind the bushes outside the boutique.
>Face up.
>Where he can drown in his own vomit for all you care.
>You break off your heels, cause fuck pumps, and walk back to your room.
>You laugh.
>You’re free.
>”FUCKING DEMONS!”
>You blink.
>That sounds like Sage.
>You peer your head through the doorway between your rooms.
>”Again?”
>You do a double take.
>And a triple one, just in case.
>Isn’t he supposed to be-...
>Didn’t you just leave him?
>Fuck.
Femanon
>You close the door.
>Just in case.
>Maybe it’s the wine?
>Causing you to hallucinate?
>You take a deep breath, and open the door.
>He’s still there.
”You... I-... I just- we... AAAAAAGH!”
>You throw your hands up in defeat.
>Knowing him, he probably just made a copy of himself.
>Great.
>You killed the lesser of his brain cells.
>Not that he had any.
>You walk over to your bed, collapse in it, and inwardly cry.
>Outwardly, you just wail a devastated scream.
Sage
“I fucking hate this game… Why did I conjure this one?”
“FUCKING DEMONS”
>Continue playing, ready to ragequit
>This game sucks more than that dragon dildo you gave to Femmy as a gift for Christmas.
>You look over to see Femmy open the door.
>She starts babbling nonsense
>The fuck is her problem?
>She throws her arms up
>You beat her at something.
>But what?
>Fuck it.
>Continue playing
>You hear Femmy scream that daily scream
>The scream that lets you know that the day is over
>Bedtime.
/thread

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

>Day Bad Sitcom in Equestria
>With Sage and Femanon
>Celestia thought it’d be wise to have the only two humans in the world as roommates.
>What she didn’t realize is that one was magical and the other was just... normal.
>And the normal one hates the magical one’s guts.
>Either way, the two of them are stuck together in connected rooms in a hotel next to Sugarcube Corner.

>Be Sage
>You’re running as fast as you can.
>You might have stolen some things.
>Scratch that, a lot of things.
>From that awful rich p0ny Fancy Pants
>Guards are chasing you down the pier.
>You jingle a pair of keys.
>They’re for Fancy Pant’s fucking fancy yacht.
>All you need is a single smooth ride down the river to Ponyville.
>Wait until Femmy sees this

>Be Femanon.
>You’re minding your own business right now.
>While sage is doing fuck knows what, you’re doing the smart thing.
>Paying for the both of you.
>Your rent.
>By working at Sugarcube Corner.
>Pinkie’s been spending the entire afternoon teaching you how to bake cakes.
>You have no idea what the hell you’re doing, just that you’ve made about thirty or so bad batches.
>This one is different.
>You’ve followed the Cake’s recipe to the letter.
>Triple fudge chocolate supreme.
>This is going to work.
>You patiently wait as the cake is baking in the oven.
>All is going better than expected.
>Until you hear a loud as fuck scream from outside.
“The hell?”

>Be Sage
>Going down the river like a motherfucking speedy salmon on cocaine.
>It’s been smooth sailing so far.
>The guards stopped chasing you a while ago.
>You notice something floating ahead.
>Is that a-
>DAM?
>You let out the girliest scream you can muster.
>”What in the world?”
>Fluttershy walks out just in time to see her precious aquatic woodeaters flying through the air.
>She lets out a scream louder than a jumbo jet.
“Sorry Fluttershy!”
>You speed down the river.
>Getting ever closer to your goal.
>Ever closer to Femmy’s surprised face.
>You can see Sugarcube Corner in the distance.
>Wait
>There’s Femmy!
>You walk out to the stern and drop anchor.


Femanon
>You can’t believe your eyes.
>It’s a boat.
>A giant ship.
“Is that a yacht?”
>You wonder what the hell it’s doing here.
>But you’ve got a feeling you already know.
>Pinkie looks outside.
>”Anon, the cake is burning!”
>You grumble.
“Can you get it Pinkie?”
>She gives you a salute.
>You have someone you need to see.
>You walk down to the river.
>On the bow, waving to you.
>It’s your dumbass roommate, Sage.
“Do I even want to know where you got the ship from?”

Sage
“Haha, it doesn’t matter! I just paid our rent next week. And for years to come!”
>You wait to see her happy expression.
>It doesn’t come.
>Instead she sighs.
>”Sage, where did you get the boat?”
>She looks pissed.
>Maybe this was a bad idea.
“I... uh, borrowed it.”
>”From?”
“My... rich uncle, yes my rich uncle.”
>”We’re stranded in a world filled with ponies. You don’t have an uncle here.”
>She looks even madder than before.
>Probably because of your stupid lie.
>You run back to the stern.
>You cast a levitation spell to pull up the anchor.
“Well it was nice chatting... But I have to go see my... mother.”
>”What mother?!”
>You kick it into high gear.
>Let’s get the fuck out of here!

Femanon
>Uncles? Mothers?
>The fuck is wrong with this guy?
>Did he go around stealing? Again?
>You’re getting really sick of him playing Robin Hood?
>You chase after the speeding boat.
>You don’t know how far the river goes, but it can’t be that far, can it?
>After a while, your legs tire out.
>You collapse in the riverbed.
>Damn it Sage.
>Whatever.
>You’ll clean up his mess later.
>He’s gotta turn up eventually, and when he does, you’ll be sure to give him a swift beating.
>You decide to go back to Sugarcube Corner.
>Pinkie sighs.
>”Well Femmy, you did your best...”
>You look at the grossly burnt cake in front of you.
>Damn it.
>Well, did it at least taste good?
>”It’s not the best triple chocolate cake I’ve ever had. But it’s pretty good, especially all the itty-bitty chocolaty unburny-bits!”
>She cuts off a lightly burnt slice.
>And sprays hot sauce all over it.
>”Want some?”
“Pass.”
>You open another recipe book.
>”You still want another go? Anon, maybe this isn’t for you...”
>You aren’t having it.
>As much as it pains you to use stereotypes, you’re a girl, damn it!
>What sort of girl doesn’t know how to bake a cake? Or cook?
>You could imagine what sage would say.
>”A useless one.”
>The voice in your head is pissing you off.

Sage
>Damn it.
>Can’t that girl learn to have some fun?
>Why is she always so upset with you?
>You thought girls just wanted to have fun
>Isn’t that how the song goes?
>With your superpowers, her hanging out with you should be a blast!
>But she always manages to be a naggy buzzkill.
>Always so boring.
>So what if what you do is a little illegal?
>You guys are roommates and you should be together.
>Well, not be together together, just...
>The two of you should hang out.
>Right?

Sage
>Well, nothing can be done about it now.
>Maybe you should just follow this river out to the ocean?
>You could go fishing.
>Or treasure hunting.
>That’s it, you’re going treasure hunting.
>Damned be Anon if she tries to get in your way.
>Not that she could catch you, you’re on a motherfucking boat.
>You head out towards the ocean.
>After some searching, you finally find some scuba gear.
>Of course Fancy Pants has scuba gear.
>But it’s not quite up to par with your human body.
>You adjust it with your magic.
>You suit up and dive into the vast ocean.
>A long afternoon of searching awaits.

Femanon
>You spent the rest of the afternoon trying to perfect your baking skills
>Correction, trying to prevent the bakery from burning down.
>After one too many fires, the Cakes send you home.
>You plop on your bed, tired.
>You watch as a waterlogged magician walks into your room.
“Where exactly have you been?”
>”The ocean! I went treasure hunting and I found some shells and shit.”
“Treasure hunting? Do ponies even have buried treasure?”
>”Let’s hope they do because I may have hidden some goods down under. Arr!”
>You blink.
>The fuck?
>Do not want.
“Take a shower. Rarity has that thing tonight, remember? The debutante ball with Sweetie Belle?”
>”Oh yeah, the thing with the rest of those munchkins?”
>Fillies.
“They’re called fillies. Not that you care to learn equestrian terms, but fuck... they’re fillies.”
>”You’re a filly.”
>Sage walks off to the bathroom.
“Nice comeback.”
>You call after him.
 >You make a mental note to ask for a new roommate next time you see Celestia.
>Twilight Sparkle would be better.
>Hell, Rainbow Dash even.
>At least he wasn’t fully sleeping in the same room as you.
>Just joined suites.
>And he just so managed to remove the lock on the door.
>Fucking magic.

Sage
>After a nice shower, you put on that fancy three-piece suit Rarity made for you.
>Tailor made, to perfection.
>And it costed a pretty penny, but whatever!
>You’re an advocate of only the best and finest.
>You walk out of your bedroom to see a prettied up Femmy
>You also caught yourself staring at her fine tits
>You quickly look away.
>Naughty Sage
>Now is not the time to be thinking like that
>Maybe just one more look.
>She folds her arms over each other.
>Damn it.
“You ready to go?”
>”Yeah.”
>Her voice is monotone. Disinterested.
“So which mare are you taking? Am I picking her up?”
>”... mare? Dude, I’m not into girls.”
“C’mon, take a joke Femmy. Humor me.”
>She rolls her eyes.
>”We’re supposed to meet Pinkie outside soon.”
“Alright, alright, let me just grab my wallet and we’ll go.”
>You walk out of the hotel to find the bubbly pink pony waiting in a “sweet” dress.
>The only thing missing from her ensemble is a caramel apple.
>”Oh my gosh, are you super exited? I”m super excited. For Rarity! And Sweetie Belle too! Do you know what a debutante is? It’s her big debut! She’s finally going to have a party all to herself about how amazingly-super-sparkly-adorable she is! Do you think she’ll sing for us? Ya know, she has a really sweet voice. I guess that’s why her name is Sweetie Belle.”
>”Yes, Pinkie. We know.”
>”Ooh, maybe she’ll get her cutie mark at the ball! How amazingly perfect could that be?”
>Someone.
>Just kill you.
>Now.
>Fuck she is annoying.
>You look at Femanon.
>She doesn’t seem to mind.
>Or maybe she’s just really good at hiding her emotions.

Sage
>The three of you arrive at the ball.
>The boutique is just the place for such an occasion.
>It’s all tidied up.
>Classy decor.
>Nothing too festive.
>Though you could tell that Pinkie Pie was wanting to decorate a bit.
>”Hey Femmy, want a drink?”

Femanon
>You turn to look at Sage.
>He hands you a drink.
>It spills all over your dress.
>You sigh.
“Dammit.”
>You’re not going to get angry.
>Not this time.
>Not here.
>You grab a linen cloth on a table nearby and pat yourself dry.
>At least it didn’t stain.
>Smelled kinda strange though.
>What is that, white wine?
>You take another cup from the table and sip it.
>Fuck, that’s strong.
>But it’s sweet, and doesn’t have an aftertaste.
>No one in Equestria seemed to care for drinking ages.
>Welp, looks like you know what you’re doing.
>”Sage! Anon! Pinkie! Darlings, please won’t you join us?”
>You turn to see Rarity.
>She’s motioning for you to come to her table.
>Sweetie Belle, and the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders are there.
>Sweetie Belle doesn’t look too happy.
>She’s stuffed in a tiny dress.
>Tons of gaudy make up.
>This was supposed to make her look attractive?
>You questioned Rarity sometimes.
>You sit there peacefully.
>P0nies around you are talking.
>Apparently they are talking about Sage.
>You look over and see him doing magic tricks.
>Basic, sleight of hand, human magic tricks.
>The fuck?
>He can do real magic.
>Your mind begins to wonder.
>If you killed Sage tonight, would anyone notice?
>Or care for that matter?
>He seems to be the jester of the town, causing trouble that you had to fix.
>You could probably get away and blame it on aristocratic jealousy.
>There were quite a few earth ponies here, probably from Canterlot, that would have wanted his magic.
>Or killed him since he was misusing his.
>But how?
>You sip your wine.
>You blink.
>Alcohol poisoning should do the trick.
>Do p0nies have proper treatment for that?
>Probably not. They don’t even have a legal drinking age.
>It’s perfect.

Sage
>At the ball.
>News Flash: It’s boring as fuck.
>Talking to all of these pretentious, wealthy snobs is life-draining.
>Gotta take a leak.
>You take your opportunity to leave and excuse yourself.
>You go the bathroom and start pissing in the sink, cause fuck.
>Pony bathrooms are awkward as fuck.
>While pissing, you get a great idea.
>Your best idea of the night.
>You use your magic to create a doppelganger.
>Picture perfect copy of yourself.
>He can enjoy this snorefest.
>You then go home and play some Dragon’s Crown.
>Genius

Sage doppelganger
>You exit the bathroom and take your seat.
>Some stallion screams and runs out of the bathroom.
>You chuckle.
>”You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
>Femanon doesn’t look too happy.
>”Listen, just sit down. This thing is only for an hour. I don’t want you embarrassing me. Any time you feel like doing something stupid, any time you want to take a fucking breath, just stay quiet, keep your trap shut, and drink something. Got that?”
>Every time you breathe?
>Shit, that’s a lot.
>You find yourself drinking every few seconds.
>Breathing and drinking.
>”Sage, are you alright? Your face is positively red.”
>Eventually, you black out.

Femanon
>Ha! It worked.
>He’s out cold.
>And probably dead in a couple of hours.
>Ponies start to gather around his unmoving body.
>You finish your glass of wine, pour yourself another, and drink that too.
>”Uhh, Anon, is there something wrong with him?”
>You look at Sage.
>He’s lying face down on the table.
“Sorry... he gets this way when he drinks way too much. I’ll get him out of your hair.”
>You excuse yourself and carry him out.
>And then promptly place him behind the bushes outside the boutique.
>Face up.
>Where he can drown in his own vomit for all you care.
>You break off your heels, cause fuck pumps, and walk back to your room.
>You laugh.
>You’re free.
>”FUCKING DEMONS!”
>You blink.
>That sounds like Sage.
>You peer your head through the doorway between your rooms.
>”Again?”
>You do a double take.
>And a triple one, just in case.
>Isn’t he supposed to be-...
>Didn’t you just leave him?
>Fuck.

Femanon
>You close the door.
>Just in case.
>Maybe it’s the wine?
>Causing you to hallucinate?
>You take a deep breath, and open the door.
>He’s still there.
”You... I-... I just- we... AAAAAAGH!”
>You throw your hands up in defeat.
>Knowing him, he probably just made a copy of himself.
>Great.
>You killed the lesser of his brain cells.
>Not that he had any.
>You walk over to your bed, collapse in it, and inwardly cry.
>Outwardly, you just wail a devastated scream.

Sage
“I fucking hate this game… Why did I conjure this one?”
“FUCKING DEMONS”
>Continue playing, ready to ragequit
>This game sucks more than that dragon dildo you gave to Femmy as a gift for Christmas.
>You look over to see Femmy open the door.
>She starts babbling nonsense
>The fuck is her problem?
>She throws her arms up
>You  beat her at something.
>But what?
>Fuck it.
>Continue playing
>You hear Femmy scream that daily scream
>The scream that lets you know that the day is over
>Bedtime.

/thread

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