CYOA Badluck Femanon Ch 18

Chapter 18

 

>Hey, maybe you should do some breathing exercises! Those are fun!

>A knock on the door snaps you out of your daze.

>”WE HAVE ARRIVED.”

>Twilight answers the door.

>”Why hello there Miss Sparkle.”

>”Welcome Princess Luna.”

>”What, no greeting for me?”

>Twilight rolls her eyes.

>”Hello Discord.”

>You stare as the strange creature enters.

>What is he, a goat?

>With a horse body?

>And a differently shaped animal leg for each body part.

>And a dragon tail.

>Dafuq is he supposed to be?

>Just looking at him made your eyes hurt.

>He whips his body around in front of  you, and grabs your hand.

>”And this must be the lovely Anonymous! I’ve heard so much about you.”

>He kisses the back of your hand.

>”Discord’s the name.”

 

>You raise an eyebrow.

"Charmed."

>The draconequus smiles.

>"It's quite an honor meeting a human. You're more beautiful than I could have ever imagined."

>Oh great.

>You breathe a sigh.

"Listen, I've had to deal with one insane spirit pining after me for the last two weeks. I'm not about to have anoth-AH!"

>"Step off freak."

>You feel something pull you backwards.

>Mara drapes an arm around your shoulder.

>He's in that satyr form.

>Discord tilts his head.

>"Who's this guy, and why does he look like a pony sawn in half?"

>"This 'guy' is the one that has claimed the human's entire body for his own. And you're totally one to talk, blender butt."

>"Name calling is so juvenile."

>He circles around you.

"Entire body you say? Do humans accept courtship?"

>Courtship?

"Wait, hold on a sec-"

>"This is Mara. He is a very... aggravating incubus spirit."

>Princess Luna explains.

>"Incubus?"

>Discord nods a head, as if impressed.

>"I wasn't aware they had bodies now."

>"They don't... Mara is an exception. He has the magic of a changeling."

>"Well now, this is a surprise! I'm glad to see my chaos put to good use."

>A devilish smile appears on Discord's face.

>Uh oh.

>He snaps his fingers and a book appears in his hands.

>"Pop quiz!"

>You blink.

>It's Twilight's book.

>"Favorite position?"

>"Missionary."

>"Breasts?"

>"A cup."

>"Fetishes?"

“Whoa, hold on, what the fuck are you two to talking about?”

>"Fet-fetishes?"

>Mara stumbles on his words.

>"You don't know your own victim's fetishes? For shame."

>He pulls a rubber stamp from nowhere and smacks it on your forehead.

>"Courtship redacted."

>What just happened?

 

>"Wha?"

>Mara looks flabbergasted.

>Discord points to the stamp in his hand.

>"It's a royal stamp. You have to obey."

>He sticks his tongue out and pushes Mara aside.

>"Now Anon, how about you and me-"

"NO!"

>He recoils.

>"That's rude."

"We have bigger things to worry about. Like the changeling invasion?"

>Discord sighs.

>"Fair enough."

>Crisis averted.

>You breathe a sigh of relief.

>Onto the next one.

"Luna, could you and DIscord check to see if there are any changelings present?"

>The two of them nod.

>"Luna, sweetie, I'll take care of this."

>Discord disappears in a cloud of pink smoke.

>He reappears on top of Applejack's back.

>"Giddy up cowgirl!"

>"What in tarnation?"

>He rides the orange p0ny like one of those rodeo bulls.

>Applejack finally gets him off and gives him a hard buck to the face.

>He disappears before her hooves can connect.

>"Apples is good."

>You blink.

>This guy is pretty crazy, isn’t he?

>Whatever.

>You lick your fingers and rub off the stamp on your head.

>Discord proceeds to humiliate every single p0ny present.

>He tears a page out of a book in front of Twilight.

>She cringes.

>"Clear."

>Places gum in Rarity's mane.

>"How dare you!"

>Flicks Dash in the nose.

>"Hey!"

>Hands a box of tissues to Fluttershy, and gives the biggest, most overdramatic sneeze imaginable.

>"Oh my."

>She hands him a tissue.

>"All three check out."

>He blows his nose.

>His gaze comes across Pinkie Pie.

>The creature freezes.

>He rubs his chin, humming for a moment.

>"Waffles."

>He finally says.

>Pinkie's face lights up.

>"Ooh, waffles are tasty! I could really go for a Brabant Waffle right now!"

>"She's fine. You're all clear."

>Mara shakes his head.

>"Was that really necessary?"

>"Yes. Yes it was."

 

>Discord was quite the character.

>Very unorthodox.

>"What about the dragon?"

>"Spike? He sent your letters, didn't he? Changelings aren't that good."

>He pats Spike's head.

>Spike nervously scratches his neck and walks away.

>You shrug.

>Discord pulls a lawnchair from thin air and lounges in it.

>He snaps his fingers and gets a large drink with a swirly straw.

>You find yourself giggling at the sight.

>He winks at you.

>You shake your head.

>This guy wasn't that bad.

>You look at your friends.

>They look kinda annoyed.

>Except Pinkie and Fluttershy.

>Fluttershy.

"Uh, Discord? Luna? We're also missing the Element of Kindness."

>Discord does a spit take.

>"Fluttershy's Element? What happened?"

>"We don't know." Twilight says. "It just disappeared. Can you do anything about that?"

>Luna shakes her head.

>"The Elements of Harmony are beyond even us. If it is lost, we may be in a predicament."

>Damn.

>That sucks.

>"TWILIGHT!"

>Spike comes running into the room.

>He's holding a gold necklace.

>"Spike? What is it?"

>"The Element! Kindness... it was in my bed, but the gem is gone!"

>You stare at him.

>Don't dragons eat gems?

 

>”I have no idea how it got there. It wasn’t there when I woke up.”

>You stayed the night at Twilight's.

>You don't remember his snoring at midnight, when you woke up from the nightmare.

>He wasn't even in his bed, if you recall.

>You gulp.

"Spike... you don’t sleep-eat do you?"

>"What? No, I wouldn't! I couldn't! I-"

>Discord shoves his eagle claw down the dragon's throat.

>"Ugh... eew, that's not... ah!"

>He pulls out a bunch of fragments of a pink crystal.

>"SPIKE!"

>Everyone yells at once.

>Spike looks surprised.

>"N-no, I didn't!"

>"Clearly you did."

>"I didn't do it, I swear! I... -I'm being framed!"

>Spike says desperately.

>You give him a disappointed look.

"Spike... it was in your stomach."

>"Now hold on."

>Discord interjects. He starts reassembling the shards together.

>"This is only half."

>He holds up what looks to be half of a butterfly.

>One wing.

>"What happened to the other half? He didn't digest it, did he?"

>"No, Rainbow Dash." Twilight says.

>"The Elements are magical gems. They're impervious to that sort of damage. They can't melt... but they are capable of shattering if they're struck by something strong enough. Like dragon teeth."

"So, what does that mean?"

>"It means that someone has the other half. And I'm willing to bet that someone is a changeling."

 

>"Someone had to have visited the library last night. But who?"

>You really weren't in the mood for a guessing game.

>"Owlowiscious? Where are you?"

>Owlwhat'shisface?

>"Owlowiscious is nocturnal. He was up all night last night. He would have known if someone was here."

>Twilight looks around.

>"Owlowiscious!"

>She can't seem to find him.

>You sigh.

>"Twilight, it's fine. We have a god of chaos, Luna, and an incubus. I'm not too worried."

>"Well I am! Excuse me for a moment."

>She walks up to her bedroom.

>Whatever.

>If she finds something, great.

>You won't stop her.

>You turn to look at Discord and Luna.

>Something pops in your head.

>"I'm more worried about Celestia... why isn't she here? And why didn't she sign her name on the letter?"

>Luna looks at you.

>"She didn't sign her name?"

>You shake your head.

"Spike, show them."

>Spike grabs the paper and hands it to them.

>"This doesn't seem like my sister... I'm confused."

>Ditto.

>"In fact, this doesn't even look like my sister's calligraphy."

>You blink.

"It doesn't?"

>"No... it's much too sloppy to be hers."

>Twilight rushes into the room.

>"Owlowiscious... he's gone!"

>You get a bad feeling about this.

“This day just keeps getting better and better.”

>You groan.

>You should just give up.

>”That’s not a very positive outlook.”

>Mara says.

>Everyone looks at him.

>”I’m reading her mind. She just wants to give up and surrender herself to the changelings.”

>”Anon, you can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

>You snap.

>”Well, because-”

”Twilight, let’s analyze this for a moment, shall we? The changelings are after me, because they want me to be their endless supply of food, and they’ll do everything they can to capture me again. Half the Element of Kindness is gone, and we have no idea where it is, or who has it. None of the Elements will work without it, so we’re stuck relying on the God of Chaos, Luna, and a shady-as-fuck incubus.”

>”... that hurts, you know.”

“Fuck you.”

>You take a deep breath and continue your rant.

“We don’t even know if the changelings have infiltrated the town, so for all we know, half of all the p0nies in Ponyville are fake, and-”

>You hold the letter in your hand and point to it.

”-to top it all off, Luna says that this is fake. Celestia is an imposter. So please... enlighten me. Why can’t I-... Why should I not just give up right now and save you all from this trouble?”

 

>”But-...”

>Twilight’s speechless.

>”Anon, Twilight is right. We can’t give you up because we’re your friends.”

>Fluttershy says.

>”Yeah... and we.... we care about ya.”

>Applejack.

>”And we’re not about to let you become a vegetable for those absolutely horrid changelings.”

>Rarity.

>”We’ll fight those dumb cheeseheads for you.”

>Rainbow Dash.

>”And do everything in our limited but super-hope-filled power to keep you safe!”

>Pinkie Pie.

>”... Anon, we can’t just give up.”

>Spike.

>Twilight looks at you with sad eyes.

>”We love you...”

>Your heart falls.

>You watch as your best friends try to defend you.

>Justify their reasoning.

>Because.

>You’re their friend.

>You look down at the floor.

>You fight back some tears.

“I... I can’t. I can’t let you do that.”

>”The hell you can’t!”

>”Rainbow... I’m endangering the lives of everyone in Ponyville... and if they have Princess Celestia, everyone in Equestria.”

>”But- you can’t just-”

“I have to.”

>Your thoughts resonate in your head.

>’Mara, I know you can read my thoughts.’

>Mara looks at you.

>’Teleport me back to the cave. Now.’

>He sighs.

>”You sure?”

>”Sure about what?”

>”Anon?”

>You stand up.

>Give everyone one last look.

 

>And nod.

“I’m sorry.”

>Mara’s body glows red.

>”Anon, no!”

>He wraps his arms around you.

>”Wait, please! We can still-”

>You feel something grab your arm.

>A lion paw.

>Discord?

>In a flash, the world disappears.