Kissing the Sun [LAST UPDATED 8/11/2013]

~x~ Chapter 1 ~x~

 

>Taking a seat on the bench, you let out a distraught sigh, trying to figure out your next move.

>The majestic mare takes a seat beside you, her beautiful mare flowing in the cold, unforgiving winter wind.

>She lets out a small, shrill cry as a shiver runs down her spine.

>Removing your coat, you attempt to wrap it around her body, making sure not to be too invasive on the mare.

>It proves rather difficult, especially since the coat is designed for humans and not ponies.

>After several minutes of struggling, you just hang it over her shoulders.

>"Thank you, Anon," she coos with her usual gentle tone.

>Turning your head away in embarrassment, you mumble a low, "No problem," and nervously shake your leg.

>This night couldn't go worse than it has.

>Not only were you fifteen minutes late to pick up Celestia from the castle grounds, but you even went as far as to spill your plate of spaghetti all over her back at the restaurant!

>To top it off, the weather stallion was wrong for the first time in years, saying that tonight was going to be a "mild" cold.

>Shaking your head in dismay, you feel something warm press up against your arm.

>Celestia rests her head against you, a fiery red blush spread across her face.

>"I wouldn't want you to get cold either," she murmurs, nuzzling her muzzle against you.

>The shaking in your leg intensifies as your heart beats faster than before.

>'Say something, you dult!' you tell yourself in your head. 'Now's your chance to woo her!'

"Y-you too," you blurt.

>The air grows silent; still even.

>The echo from your voice dies down after several seconds of booming across the park.

>If a god exists somewhere in these lands, you can only hope he'll strike you down right now.

>Your breath cuts short, unable to pass from the tension your body is holding.

>Celestia's cheeks puff out as her face shows clear signs of discomfort, almost as if she's in pain.

>In nervous spur, you begin chuckling, trying to lighten the mood.

>The mare breaks into giggles, pushing her head against your chest now for support.

>After a few minutes of one sided laughter, you out of the corner of your eyes as the princess nuzzles your neck.

>Now's your chance to make a move!

>Stretching your arms into the air, you attempt to fake a yawn, slowly lowering it back down around her.

>Not taking your focus off it, you bring it closer and closer to her shoulder, your palms sweating heavily.

>Closer and closer you get, only a mere inch away from her.

>And then you stop.

>The old hover hand has struck again, making your look like a complete fool once again.

>'Come on! Just place your arm on her back and grab her shoulder. This isn't hard!' you tell yourself.

>No matter how hard you try, your arm refuses to lower any more.

>Instead, it catapults forward and smacks the mare in the back of her head, sending her crown flying.

"I'm so sorry!" you exclaim, trying your best to help her without touching her. "I'll grab your crown for you!"

>"It's alright, Anon. Please, calm dow—"

>Sprinting away from the seat, you curse under your breath as you search for the head piece in the tall grass.

>After a couple of minutes of looking, you find the crown, completely covered in dirt and blades of grass.

>Using your shirt, you wipe it clean and return to Celestia who patiently waits for your return.

>Kneeling down, you place the crown on the mares head and smile.

>It's then you realize how close your face is to hers.

>Her hot breath beats against your face, smelling of a mixture of mint and lavender.

>Your heart beats faster, knowing where this is going, but your brain is still trying its best to register everything.

>The air grows still as you reach ever closer to her face, her lips puckered and eyes closed.

>This is it.

>This was the moment you painstakingly practiced on your pillow all morning for.

>Following in suit, you lean your head forward and prepare for a kiss.

>Before long, the light, warm press of her lips is against your own.

>For what feels like an eternity, you hold your position and open an eye to peek.

>Tears flow down her cheeks, leaving an unsettled feeling in the pit of your stomach.

>Releasing the kiss, the princess looks up at you with a beautiful smile.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend you or anything! Please, don't cry!"

>Celestia giggles as you pull out a handkerchief and wipe the tears from her face.

>"Anon, please calm down. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just happy, is all."

>Happy? About a kiss?

>A bit cliche in your opinion, but who are you to judge.

"Happy about what?" you question, putting the cloth back in your pocket.

>She turns her head away, avoiding your sight.

>"It's... nothing."

>She turns back to you, smile still protruding across her face.

>"All I do know is that I had a wonderful time tonight, all thanks to you, Anon."

>Your stomach untangles as a smile sneaks onto your face.

>Wrapping your arms around her neck, you embrace her in a tight hug.

"I'm glad to hear it."

>Letting go of the mare, you stand up and offer your hand in assistance to help her off the bench.

>She extends her hoof and you lift her up, bringing her to her hooves.

>As Celestia climbs down from seat, she looks up to the sky and lets out a content sigh.

>"I must be getting back home. Will I... see you again, maybe?" she mumbles, trying to hide her embarrassment.

"Of course," you reply with a nod.

>With a nod, she spreads her beautiful wings and takes to sky as you begin your venture home.

______________

 

>Waking up to the sound of birds chirping in the morning would normally send you in a blistering fury, but you were in just too good of mood to care right now.

>Throwing off the covers, you jump from your bed and walk into the bathroom to perform your usual morning routine.

>Once done, you put on a fresh set of clothes and head off to start your day.

>Walking down the path on such a beautiful day was practically a blessing.

>The sun was shining brightly, but gave off a nice, subtle warmth that was comfortable.

>Over the past few days, it was rather hot, even though it was fall.

>Passing by the usual stands, you give your morning hellos and waves.

>But something was off today.

>The ponies were acting differently around you.

>Some mockingly, some nervous, and some cold, even.

>Walking over to Roseluck's stand, you lean in and look at the flowers.

"A nice batch you got today?" you comment, trying to make small talk.

>"Sure is," she says bluntly.

>Looking up from the plants, you make contact with a deathly glare from Roseluck.

>Backing away from the stand, you continue your venture towards the large library down the street.

>The streets of Canterlot were rather "chatty", today.

>Whispers and murmurs course your ears as you walk down the brick path.

>"How dare he defile our princess!"

>"I wonder what their foals would look like?"

>"He's kind of cute now that I take a look at him."

>With breakneck speed, you reach the front door of the building and enter, slamming the door behind you.

>Twilight looks up from her desk, glaring directly at you.

>"Anon, what have I told you about slamming the door?" she whispers in an annoyed tone.

>Ever since Twilight took the position of librarian in Canterlot, your visits have been nothing but nagging and moaning.

"I'm sorry, I was just trying to get off the streets," you gasp, trying to catch your breath. "All the ponies are talking about me and I'm getting mixed results about their comments."

>"Well, you are the talk of the country right now, it would seem," she says with a blush.

>Twilight hovers a newspaper over to you with her magic aura, displaying a huge picture that makes you almost swallow your tongue.

>Displayed in big, bold lettering, the title reads, "Celestia and Anonymous - Will it last?"

>Clamping tightly onto the paper, you read over the article.

"Celestia and Anon, yada yada... dating for two weeks now... stole her first kiss?"

>You look up from the paper at the mare in panic.

"That was Celestia's first kiss?"

>Twilight slowly nods.

"In a while, right?"

>She shakes her head, a concerned frown formed on her lips.

>"You are actually the first stal— er, being, to ever kiss the princess."

>Dropping the paper, you smack your hand against your forehead and groan.

"God, damn it! After such a horrible night I had to go do that. I'm such an idiot!"

>Dropping onto your ass, you bury your face into your hands.

>Twilight exits her place at the front desk and walks over to you, placing her hoof on your shoulder.

>"It couldn't have been that bad, Anon?"

>You look up at her with a death-like stare, shaking your head.

"It was a horrible night. I spilled my dinner on her, I punched her the back of head, and then I stole her first kiss."

>Twilight winces as you make a mention of the blow to the head before trying again to comfort you.

>”I’m sure the princess had a great time. Why don’t you go talk to her?”

>Your heart sinks at the thought of facing Celestia again.

>She’ll probably throw you in a dungeon.

>Or worse...

>The friendzone.

>The heavy front door swings open, filling the room with sunlight.

>Two royal guards stand in the doorway, their eyes fixated on you.

>”Mr. Anonymous. Her majesty requests an audience with you.”

 

 

~x~ Chapter 2 ~x~

 

>Looking out the window, you let the warm sun grace your translucent mane.

>It always makes your mane look prettier when you do it. Though today is the beginning of winter, you couldn’t help but put up a warm sun for everypony to enjoy.

>You’re just so happy that you feel the need to spread the warmth, both figuratively and literally.

>“You seem to be in a good mood today.”

>Turning around, you meet the gaze of none other than Luna.

>With a chipper nod and benevolent smile, you return to your desk and take a seat.

“As a matter of fact, yes, I am,” you reply as you lift up a stack of scrolls.

>Luna furrows her brow while she approaches the desk, carrying a newspaper in her magical grip.

>“Could it be because of this?”

>She raises it to show the front of the paper, featuring a big, bold headline with your name and a picture of you and Anonymous kissing.

>You can’t help but blush as you take the paper from her and look it over yourself.

>Opening the drawer to your side, you search for a pair of scissors to snip the picture out.

>As much as you disliked the paparazzi, you had to give it to them for capturing one of the most important memories of your life.

>“Sister, have you read that yet?” Luna growls as you cut along the edge of the picture.

>You shake your head: to be honest, you couldn’t care less.

>But something catches your attention.

>A certain name, to be specific. It’s then you notice the headline.

“Princess Celestia and Anonymous - Will it last?” you read aloud. “Why wouldn’t it?”

>Reading over the article, it contains the usual dribble the media puts into it: accusations, exaggerations, and all kinds of “-ations”.

>Luna gives you an uneasy look at you glance back at her.

>“Turn to the fifth page,” she mumbles in an almost inaudible tone.

>Doing as told, you flip over to the fifth page and view the pictures it contains.

>Clear images of Anonymous spilling his meal on you, hovering his forearm behind you, and smacking you in the back of the head layer the page.

>Placing your hoof over your mouth, your resist the urge to burst out laughing. Luna watches you with a concerned express as you begin to hiccup and cough.

>“I know, sister, it’s hard to take in. I’ve had the guards bring him to the castle to so that we may confront him about stealing your first kiss.”

>And with that, your hoof flies off your muzzle as you burst into laughter.

>Luna tilts her head back in confusion as you wipe the tears from your eyes.

“Oh, Luna, you’re so funny. You really must stop believing everything you see in the paper!”

>Luna’s jaw drops as she looks back between the paper and yourself, trying to figure out what is going on right now.

>“B-but they have photos of him right there! He took your first kiss right off your lips!”

>You shake your head and sigh.

“Yes, he did take my first kiss. But do you really think I would let somepony take it without my consent?”

>Luna’s opens her mouth to object, but stops and tilts her ears back in embarrassment.

>Looking over the paper again, you can’t help but smile as you think back to last night.

>“I don’t understand,” Luna groans, looking you in the eyes with a distraught stare. “Why would you allow such a.. “being” to take something so sacred to you? From the looks of it, he’s rather clumsy.”

>Grabbing the scissors with your magically aura, you resume cutting the pictures.

“Because he doesn’t like Princess Celestia, he likes just Celestia.”

>Luna nods her head in agreement, knowing exactly where you’re coming from.

>With a subtle chuckle, you continue.

“All the stallions I’ve dated in my years have always gone out with me in hopes of gaining the royalty. Anonymous is the first one to show true feelings and get to know the real me.”

>Grabbing the clipping with your magic, you lift it into the air to take a closer look.

“As for his clumsiness, it’s something I like about him. It shows he isn’t perfect and doesn’t wish to be anypony other than himself. Also,” you add with a deeper blush, “I think it’s adorable.”

>Luna rolls her eyes and put her hoof to her mouth, pretending to gag.

>Placing the paper down, you give her a stern glare accompanied by a wicked smirk.

“I wouldn’t talk. Remember Prince Anura?”

>Luna’s eyes widen to that of saucer plates before she charges forward, flailing her hooves at you.

>“You promised you would never mention that again!” she screams, pounding her hoof against your forelegs.

>You don’t notice the guard as he stands at the doorway since you’re giggling so much at her expense.

>He clears his throat in hopes of catching your attention, but instead spooks Luna.

>Her horn glows an elegant shade of light blue before her entire self disappears into thin air.

>The guard looks nervously between the spot where Luna once stood and yourself.

>“I didn’t interrupt something, did I, Princess?” he asks, barely above a whisper.

>Shaking your head, you beckon him in, resuming your snipping of the pictures from last night.

>He continues to look at the spot where Luna was, clearly wondering why she teleported out of the room.

“She thinks you heard our conversation and panicked,” you mention, clearing his confusion. “Now, what brings you here?”

>The guard awkwardly scratches the back of his head as he looks out the door.

>“Well, we brought Anonymous here just like Luna asked and he’s waiting for you in the dining hall.”

>Sweat begins to pour down his face as he looks back to you, trying his hardest not to laugh.

“What’s the matter?” you ask, not able to hold back your grin.

>The guard begins to chuckle lightly, looking back at you.

>“For starters, and I mean no offense to you or him, but that guy has terrible luck.”

>His chuckle quickly turns into a heavy laugh as he shakes his head.

>“He tripped on the chariot as he was entering it and almost bashed his forehead. After telling us, ‘It’s alright, the rocks in my head keep me protected,’ he attempted to get into the carriage that he did not fit in. He took a seat on top and we came to a tree on the way here...”

>He stops, almost looking queasy as he attempts to finish his report.

>Raising a hoof up, you signal for him to stop.

>Waving your hoof, you dismiss the guard who bows before leaving the room.

>You step down from your desk and head towards the dining hall where Anonymous sits at the table, covered in leaves and scratches.

>He looks down at the bowl of soup in front of him, letting out a disheartened sigh as he loses himself in his reflection.

>Taking advantage of this, you sneak up behind him like a playful filly.

“Good morning,” you coo, nuzzling the back of his neck with your muzzle.

>Anonymous jumps up, banging the table that is obviously too low for him, and knocks the bowl of soup over, pouring a decent amount of the hot liquid onto his lap. He screams in agony, trying his best to get up, only to trip over his own feet and fall back in his chair.

>With a large ‘thud’, Anon bangs his head against the marble flooring, knocking him out cold.

 

 

 

~x~ Chapter 3 ~x~

 

>Opening your eyes, you look around the room.

>White curtains lining the windows, several cots standing in neat row, and medical supplies sitting on a desk make it pretty obvious that you’re in an infirmary, presumably the castle’s.

>A jolt of sheer pain courses the back of your head as you try to lift yourself from the bed, causing you to curse under your breath.

>“It’s best if you lie down. You banged your head pretty badly.”

>You look over to your side for the source of the noise and catch Princess Luna in your line of sight, sitting on bed beside yours.

>With a weary groan, you do as told and lay back, but not before scanning the room.

“Where’s Celestia?” you ask, wondering where your marefriend is.

>Luna gives you a hot glare as you continue to look at her in confusion.

>“PRINCESS Celestia had a few things to take care of. I had to convince her that you would be fine and to carry out her royal duties, so the only way to get her to leave was to promise her that I would watch over you,” she growls, not taking a moment to remove her hard stare.

>Thinking it over, you try to remember what happened before all this.

>Two guards asked you to come to the castle by request of the princess, you rode here on top of a chariot, there was the tree and the beehive, then they asked you if you were hungry.

“A bowl of soup, if you don’t mind,” you remember asking.

>When it finally got to you, you weren’t really all that hungry: you were more concerned with finding a way to apologize to Celestia for the horrible night and embarrassing her in the newspaper.

>A simple idea popped into your head, but then something scared you and, before you could tell what was going on, your groin felt like it caught fire.

>Then everything went black.

“I messed up again, didn’t I?” you groan, trying to hold back your embarrassment. “How bad is it?”

>Luna hops down from the bed, grabbing a small mirror with her magic.

>“Why don’t you look for yourself?” she asks, putting the mirror over your face.

>The reflection makes you jump a little. Bandages cover your entire head, leaving only opening for your eyes, nose, and mouth, making you look like a mummy.

>Letting out a disheartened sigh, you close your eyes and hope for the hand of death to take you away.

“Celly’s never going to let me take her out on a another date looking like this,” you say, smacking your forehead.

>Luna gives you a confused gaze as you bang your hands against the bed like a child.

>“Another date?” Luna questions, putting the mirror back in its place.

>Carefully nodding your head, you open your eyes and throw your arms into the air.

“I wanted to take her on a second date to make up for ruining the last one. I looked at the paper this morning and realized that I had her share her first kiss ever after such a horrible night. I felt guilty, so I wanted to make it up to her somehow,” you say, nervously scratching your chin. “Sounds cheesy, doesn’t it?”

>Luna’s glare changes to a paranoid stare before shaking her head and putting on a small smile.

>“Yes, it does,” she replies.

>An awkward silence fills the air as the two of stare at each other for a moment before you burst into laughter.

>Luna follows in tow, laughing even harder than you, tears swelling in her eyes.

>“You know, I’ve had a question that I’ve been meaning to ask my sister,” Luna begins, sitting down in her previous spot on the bed with a serious look plastered across her face. “How did you meet my sister?”

>You begin to chuckle, thinking back to that day. Oh, what a day it was.

“Well, it was at the Summer Sun Celebration earlier this year. Twilight took me to see Celestia raise the sun since I was kind of skeptical about it.”

>Luna raises an eyebrow suspiciously before you raise your hand.

“Listen, there were people back in my world who used to say they can raise the sun, and I’ll tell you, they most certainly couldn’t. Anyway, a few ponies were getting aggravated that I was blocking their view, being as tall as I am, and started shouting profanities and plenty of mean things at me. Twilight kept trying her hardest to help me calm them down, but it just wasn’t working. That’s when Celestia saw us on her way to the stage. She had planned to talk to me after the ceremony because I am only freak of nature of my kind in your world, but she felt that the easiest way to fix the issue was to give me a special seat next to her.”

>Luna puts a hoof to her chin, deep in thought. For a moment, she sits in that position before bursting out into laughter.

>“I remember now!” she exclaims, trying to talk over her own giggles. “You were the one whose seat didn’t fit him, so they got him a cardboard box. It ended up breaking and you crushed the oranges inside it! What was that nickname they gave you?”

>She lifts her head into air, trying her best to remember it.

>Blushing, you nervously scratch your temple and chuckle.

“The Juicer,” you mutter.

>Luna breaks into an almost maniacal laughter, grabbing a pillow to cover her face to muffle herself.

>After a moment of awkward laughter, Luna wipes the tears from her eyes and clears her throat.

>“My apologies. You may continue.”

"Anyway, after the whole ‘juicer’ incident, Celly went and helped removed the juice from my pants, which was quite nerve racking. It’s not everyday you sit a booth with a powerful ruler, only in your boxers as she cleans your pants for you. After she was finished, I thanked her for everything and asked her if she would like to go out for tea one day as payment for helping me out.”

>Luna give you look of almost utter disgust.

>“Tea? You asked a princess out for tea?”

>Nodding your head, you give her a concerned stare.

“Why, does she not like tea?” you ask worriedly. “She told me she loved tea. Don’t tell me I’ve been forcing her to have tea with me for the sake of being nice.”

>Luna shakes her head.

>“No, I’d expect something more... sophisticated, like an elegant lunch or something. Just having tea is something we do all the time!”

“Well, she seemed to enjoy it,” you reply with a shrug. “We had a great afternoon and found out we have a lot in common. So, since then, we’ve been seeing each other more and more.”

>Luna steps down from her seat and lets out a disappointed sigh.

>“I was expecting something more exciting, like you were the prince of your former land, or you fought off an army to protect her.”

>She rolls her eyes playfully.

>“I guess my sister will always have a boring relationship, no matter who she chooses. At least I know a little bit more about you.” She leans forward, a glare focused on you. “But don’t think for a second I’m not watching you. If you ever hurt my sister, I won’t hesitate to throw you into the dungeon,” she grunts before taking her leave.

>You’re not quite sure what that had to do with anything, but she seems like a caring sister.

>Not so much a great acquaintance, but a good sister nonetheless.

>Closing your eyes, you think over and over again what you’re going to do when you run int—

>“How are you feeling, Anon?”

>You nearly jump out of your skin as Celestia’s voice catches you off guard.

>Her chipper smile quickly fades as a worried frown takes its place.

>“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!” she blurts, waving a hoof into the air.

“We have to stop meeting like that,” you say with a chuckle.

>Celestia’s smile returns as she places a hoof on your shoulder.

>Her grin always lightens the atmosphere in room, no matter how gloomy it is.

>It must be really awkward when she attends funerals.

>“I heard you had a talk with Luna,” she mutters, her ears tilting back a bit in dismay. “She told me you had something important to talk about.”

>Lifting yourself up from the bed, you turn to the mare with a serious face.

>Her smile dissipates as you place a hand on her shoulder and take a deep breath.

“Yes, I do. I was hoping to do it in a more... formal manner.”

>You look down at the hospital gown and touch the bandages on your head.

“But something this important has to be addressed, no matter the condition I’m in.”

>Celestia’s eyes being to fill with tears as she mutters, “I understand.”

>A bit confused, you wipe the tears from her eyes and smile.

“So you’d be willing to go on another date with me? I want to make up for our last one.”

>Celestia shakes her head, completely bewildered.

>She opens and closes her mouth like a fish out of water, completely thrown off.

>“You mean you want to stay with me?”

>You tilt your head back, just as confused.

“Why wouldn’t I?” you ask.

>Celestia lets out sigh of relief as she wipes the tears from her eyes.

>“I was sure this whole newspaper article was going to scare you away. I only assumed the worst,” she whipsers, avoiding any means of eye contact.

>Next thing you know, you start laughing.

“That thing? Oh, no, trust me. I’m used to being a laughingstock. I was worried that you wouldn’t want to be with me because I'm a moron!”

>You both engage in a giggle fit as any fears you had are lifted from you.

“They say great minds think alike!” you joke.

>The laughter cuts short as you stop and think about what you just said.

>Idiot! That has nothing to do with this moment!

>Slapping yourself in the forehead for your arrogance, you scream in agony.

>You had completely forgot about the bee stings and scratches all over your face.

>Celestia holds back her laughter as you rub the affected area in displeasure.

>“Another date you say?” she asks, a sly smile on her face. “I most definitely will.”

 

~x~ Chapter 4 ~x~

 

>Magnificent, flowing mane?

>Check.

>Devilish, handsome smile?

>Check.

>Best stallion in existence?

>You bet.

>Prince Blueblood continues to admire himself in the mirror as his servant walks in, short of a nervous breakdown.

>The small stallion’s lips quiver as he enters the room, sweat pour down from the cerulean mane on top of his head.

>“Prince Blueblood, sire,” he mutters, refusing to look his master in the eye.

>Blueblood stops his self-admiration as he turns to the stallion, a scowl plastered on his face.

>The servant looks down at the ground, shaking in fear.

>“What is so important that you must interrupt me, Wilson?” Blueblood growls.

>Wilson nervously scratches his foreleg, looking around the room for some sort of escape.

>He swallows hard before letting out the words he dreads to say.

>“The newspapers successfully posted your article as instructed.”

>Blueblood triumphantly smiles as he turns back to his mirror.

>“But there might be a problem.”

>His scowl returns as he slowly turns back around to the servant, his eyes matching that of a murderer.

>He stops his hoof into the ground, quickly checking for any dirt it may have accumulated after.

>“I made my instructions clear, did I not Wilson?” he snarls, wiping his hoof against the curtains nearby. “If we are to ensure my place as king…”

>“...we must prevent your aunt from falling in love with the ape. Yes, I know, sire,” Wilson finishes. “But it seems a strange twist has occurred.”

> Blueblood stops his cleaning episode to give the servant a confused glare.

>“And that is?”

>Wilson takes a deep breath, trying his best to find the words that will not send his master into a blind fury.

>He lets out a defeated sigh and decides to be honest.

>“It has created another date between the two it seems.”

>Blueblood shakes his head, baffled by the result.

>Wilson continues, “It seems the ape, Anonymous, wants to take the princess on another date to ‘make up’ for the previous date.”

>The prince begins slamming his hooves against the marble tile in frantic tantrum, like that of a child being denied candy.

>“How dare that ape even consider the option!” he bellows as Wilson cowers into a corner.

>Blueblood snorts out of frustration, only to realize how brutish it seems.

>Taking a deep breath, the prince tries his best to remain cool.

>“I d-do have information pertaining to their next date, sire,” Wilson stammers, still refusing to make eye contact. “He has invited her over for dinner at his humble abode tomorrow evening.”

>Blueblood trots over to his window and looks down on the city below.

>All the land below is rightfully his, not some strange creature’s.

>If it meant that the prince had to resort to trickery and deception, so be it!

>With a devious smirk, Blueblood turns back to Wilson and chuckles.

>“Auntie Celestia will go to that dinner. But I will ensure that it is the last one she has with that human!”

_____

 

>With a sweaty brow and an aching wrist, you lift the brush from the kitchen tile and look at the reflection of a weary man staring back at you.

>You smile at him, commemorating a job well done after six long hours of scrubbing and cleaning the house from top to bottom.

>Everything was almost done, and in good time too: Celestia was going to be here in a hour.

>Wiping the sweat from your forehead, you drop the brush in the bucket and head towards the basement to dump it.

>Dumping the bucket into the sink, you can’t help but feel an itch of some sort at the back of your neck, like you’re forgetting something...

>The bucket falls from your grasp, splashing water everywhere.

>You forgot the main reason Celestia was coming over: dinner.

>Sprinting up the stairs and into the kitchen, you throw open the fridge in hopes of finding something to prepare.

>All it holds is a bottle of mustard and some cans of cider.

“The diet of a bachelor,” you mutter to yourself.

>Slamming the door shut, you begin scavenging through the cabinets for anything.

>Angel hair, linguine, rotini, farfalle; why do you have so much pasta in your house?!

>Slamming the cabinet door shut, you look around the kitchen.

>You didn’t even know what Celestia liked to eat, to be honest.

>Every time you went out with her, it was something different: squash soup, cobb salad, spinach quiche, delectable cakes; all things that you had nothing for or experience making.

>Rubbing the back of your head, you run to the front door and throw on your jacket.

>The cold winter wind whips against your face as you exit the house, making you shiver like a madman.

>Heading down the main path, you enter the market district of Canterlot. Murmurs and whispers begin to fill the air, much like yesterday morning.

>Hanging your head, you try your best to ignore them as you venture to a stall willing to serve you.

>“Anon!”

>Lifting your head, you watch as Twilight Sparkle gallops down the cobblestone path towards you, concern plastered across her face.

>“Thank goodness. I was worried yesterday when the guards whisked you away. What happened?”

>You take a couple of minutes to explain the event of yesterday as Twilight resists the urge to laugh at your expense.

>Letting out a heavy sigh, you look around at the shops and stalls.

“...and now I’m stuck here in the middle of the market district, trying to figure out what Celestia will eat for dinner. I’m not a chef, but I have to figure something out.”

>“Maybe I can assist you?”

>A stallion in a stand nearby beckons you, a sinister smile stretched across his face.

>“I know exactly what the princesses likes. They have their servants buy goods from me all the time.”

>Twilight eyes the stallion suspiciously.

>“The princesses have their own stoc—”

>“If I’m not mistaken, they have some new spell books over at Barns and Neighbles,” he interjects, pointing towards a stall down the street with his hoof.

>Twilight’s eyes widen, a spark evident in them. In a flash, she gallops down the road, leaving you with the stall owner.

>“I have just the thing you’ll need,” he says, brushing his cerulean mane to the side as he digs into his icebox.

_____

>Lifting the bottle with her magical aura, Celestia dabs a bit of perfume onto her coat and takes another look in the mirror.

>Hopefully this night will go well for Anonymous.

>The poor thing was so concerned about making sure her second date would go perfect.

>Flicking her hair back, she stands at the mirror, practicing her smile.

>“Good evening.”

>She shakes her head, disappointed in herself.

>“...No no, that sounds too formal. How are you doing tonight?”

>“I’m doing fine, thank you for asking.”

>Celestia nearly jumps out of her skin before turning to her bedroom door.

>Luna stands in the doorway, a mischievous smile stretched across her lips.

>Returning her gaze back to the mirror, Celestia lets out an annoyed sigh.

>“What’ve I told you about knocking, sister?”

>Luna chuckles, placing a hoof over her muzzle in hopes of muffling the sound.

>Celestia rolls her eyes and continues to apply her cosmetics.

>Luna leans in next to Celestia’s ear and brings her voice to a whisper.

>“So, you’re having dinner at Anon’s home? I assume you’ll be staying for coffee as well?” Luna mocks.

>Celestia’s cheeks grow a dark shade of red as she spills more perfume on herself from shock.

>“N-no! I would never do such a thing so early in a relationship!”

>She turns her head away in embarrassment. Luna leans in closer, her smirk growing wider.

>“So you do have it planned for the near future?” she mocks.

>Celestia lifts her blush and swats it at her sister, tries to fend off the mare.

>Luna giggles as she dodges the swings, making sure to blow raspberries at her sister.

>Before she knows it, Celestia begins laughing along with Luna, breaking into a giggling fit.

>The two mares hit the ground, rolling around and hanging onto their sides.

>Once the air has finally returned to their lungs, they stand clear their throats.

>“As we were saying…”

>“Yes, yes, of course.”

>Luna looks down at the ground before returning her gaze back to her sister.

>“Sister, I want you to know that I’m happy for you. I truly am. But please be careful. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

>Celestia lips curl into a meek smile as she wraps a foreleg around her sister.

>“Luna, don’t worry. I know Anon will not do anything to hurt me… at least intentionally.”

>Luna tries her best to suppress a laugh, but her face show clear signs of struggle.

>Celestia gives her a deadpan stare before continuing.

>“Now I think the question we should be asking is: when are you going to find somepony?”

>Luna’s cheeks turn a rosy shade as she directs her attention away from her sister.

>“When you and Anon get married,” she says with a hint of sarcasm.

>Celestia takes her seat at the mirror and chuckles as she continues applying her make up.

>“I’m going to hold you to that.”

 

 

~x~ Chapter 5 ~x~

 

>As soon as you enter the house, you drop the bags on kitchen counter and crane your neck towards the clock on the wall.

>Celestia is going to be here in forty-five minutes, but knowing her, she’d be ten minutes early.

>Digging through the bags, you grab the ingredients and place them on the counter.

>A head of cabbage, two bushels of almonds, an assortment of berries, and the most important part: the secret ingredient.

>The salespony said it’s Celestia’s favorite fruit and that she eats it all the time, so adding it to a nice salad would be perfect.

>Something is off about this “secret ingredient”, however.

>The smell is horrid, almost to the point where you’re considering shoving garlic up your nose.

>Just looking at the paper wrapping that holds it makes your stomach queasy.

>But if it’s something that Celestia loves to eat, who are you to deny her?

>Grabbing a cutting board, you open the door and hesitate.

>This never ends well, but it has to be done.

>Grabbing a carving knife from the drawer, you slowly place it down on the counter.

>Goosebumps cover your skin at the thought of what happened last time you used this knife.

>Poor Mr. Mittens…

You move over to the sink and run the tap; washing the parts of the salad was important to get rid of the junk that accumulated over it.

>Dripping a bit of soap on your hands, you lather the ingredients before dipping them under the water.

>Something’s off, however.

>The water is leaving a tingling sensatio—

“Ow!” you yelp, wrenching your hands away from sink.

>Every time!

>No matter how long you’ve been here, you always forget that the faucets are backwards in Equestria.

>Right is hot and left is cold.

>Running to the freezer, you swing it open and dip your hands into the small bucket of ice inside.

>The cold rushes over your hands, relieving the burning sensation.

>You stand there for a couple of minutes until the cold begins to hurt.

“Okay, that’s enough,” you mutter to yourself.

>As you pull your hands out, the bucket follows them.

>You stare at it for a moment, trying figure out what is going on.

>Then you remember: your hands were wet.

>Looking around the room, you try to find something to get you out of this trap.

>Maybe if you tap it against something hard…

>With a quick swing, you smack the bucket against the kitchen counter, only to find pain surging throughout your arms.

>What was that trick to get a tongue that’s stuck to a frozen pole?

>Oh yeah!

>Warm water!

>Moving over to the sink, you look down at it as the frostbite slowly develops on your hands.

>There’s only one problem: there’s no way to grab the handles.

>Leaning over the sink, you grab a handle with your teeth and let the hot water escape the spout.

>Carefully, you make your way to the second handle, making sure not to get caught in the stream of liquid pain.

>The cold water tap turns fine, bringing the water to a suitable temperature.

>You lift your arms up and put the bucket in the sink.

>The water begins to fill the bucket rapidly.

>The feeling slowly comes back to your hands as you pull them out of the bucket and rub them together for warmth.

>With a distraught sigh, you turn back to the ingredients and wash them, making sure that they’re squeaky clean.

>Placing the cabbage on the cutting board, you grab the knife and stare it down.

“Look. You don’t like me and I don’t like you. But just this once, can we work together?”

>The knife, obviously, doesn’t respond back.

>Covering your mouth, you tilt it back and forth and whispering, [spoiler] [/spoiler] “Sure thing, Anon!”

>Holding the cabbage with one hand, you slowly dig the blade into the vegetable, making sure your hand is clear from any damage that it may receive.

>Sure and steady, you successfully chop the cabbage up and place it into a bowl.

>Added with a couple handfuls of berries and almonds, the dish is really coming together.

>Looking over at the wrapping across the counter, you feel your stomach pull a backflip.

>Just the thought of its stench makes you retch.

>It was like someone took a rotting corpse and threw it into a pile of manure.

>As much as you detest the thing, you still had to add it to the dish for Celestia’s sake.

>With a weary hand you grab the atrocious fruit and begin to unwrap it.

>The smell seeps into your nostrils, making your stomach churn.

>The name of this monstrosity?

>The durian.

>Just the name sounded disgusting, but the contents were a hundred times worse.

>Upon stabbing your knife into the center, the smell intensifies.

>You clip a clothespin on your nose to resist the smell, but it’s no use; it still seeps through, somehow.

>Grabbing the edges, you split the fruit into two, revealing the yogurt-like “meat” inside.

>Hands shaking, you scoop out the contents and dump them into the bowl.

>Your stomach can’t take it any more.

>The texture, the smell, just the thought of this atrocity makes your stomach bubble.

>No matter how hard you try, you can’t hold it any more.

>A spray of vomit erupts from your mouth, layering the salad, the salad you so tirelessly took the time to get ready.

>Grabbing a napkin, you wipe your mouth and look into the bowl, realizing what you’ve done.

>That, and the added aroma of vomit and durian, makes your stomach churn once more.

>You rush to the sink and let your stomach empty its contents.

>After a good minute or two, you finally feel better.

>That is, until the knock on the front door echoes throughout the kitchen.

>Looking up at the clock, you check the time.

>Celestia is ten minutes early.

>Running to the door, you place your eye against the peephole.

>Sure enough, she’s right at the door, wearing a light jacket.

>Cracking a forced smile, you open the door.

“Hi Celly!”

>She gives you a suspicious glance before putting on an uncomfortable smile.

>“Good eveni—”

“Please! Come inside and take a seat!” you exclaim, wrapping your arm around her shoulder and practically dragging her inside.

>You point to the couch in the living room and chuckle.

“I’m just finishing up dinner!”

>Celestia muzzle lifts into the air, her nose taking in the air around her.

>“Anon, do you smell… smoke?”

>Your heart sinks down to your feet.

>With the speed of Kenyans, you sprint to kitchen to find a thick cloud of smoke emitting from the salad bowl.

>Both you and Celestia stare at it in awe.

"How?!” you exclaim, looking at the princess in disbelief. “Seriously? How does this even happen?!”

>Celestia shrugs as you grab the bowl and immediately drop it.

>The thing is shearing hot. As the bowl crashes down on the tile, its contents follow the shards of ceramic across the floor.

>Celestia begins to giggle as you scramble over to the sink and grab the bucket now filled with melted ice water.

>You splash it all over the kitchen, putting out the bits of fire around the room.

>Celestia helps out by extinguishing cinders with her magic, eventually clearing the room of any flames.

“Thanks,” you mutter, grabbing a broom and dustpan.

>Even after all the scrubbing from earlier today, the room looked like a warzone.

>Hanging your head, you sweep up the ashes and bits of ceramic.

>Celestia helps you by holding the dustpan as you clear the ground.

>Luckily, you were prepared for this. Grabbing the bag, you dig out a loaf of bread, some hay, daffodils, and some feta cheese.

“I hope you don’t mind sandwiches,” you mumble, a little disheartened.

>Celestia smiles and pecks you on the cheek before grabbing a plate from the dish rack.

>“Of course I don’t.”

_________

>The patio is probably your most favorite spot when home.

>This comfy hammock, beautiful mare, warm blanket, sandwiches, and starry night sky couldn’t have lifted your spirits any more.

>Celestia giggles as you tell her about your day.

>“It’s so like you, Anon. How could you forget to make dinner? It was the whole point of the date!”

“I know that,” you say, rolling your eyes. “I just spaced out while I was cleaning is all. I’m still upset that I couldn’t salvage your favorite dish, though.”

>Celestia raises her eyebrow as you let out an exasperated sigh.

>“I never told you my favorite food. How did you find out?”

>You smile and shrug.

“The salespony at the market told me you love spinach salad with fruits, especially durian.”

>You resist the urge to throw up from the thought of the smell as Celestia sits up.

>“Anon,” she starts with a stern face, “I detest durians, and spinach for that matter.”

>Looking over at her, you can’t help but smile.

“So I guess that spontaneous fire was lucky, huh?” you joke, laughing wholeheartedly.

>Celestia begins to chuckle, eventually breaking into a giggle fit.

>The two of you laugh for what seems like hours before wiping the tears from your eyes.

>You can’t help but notice how Celestia’s mane shines in the moonlight, giving it a radiant glow.

>Her eyes glisten as they meet with yours.

>Celestia inches closer, her hot breath pressing against your face.

>Her eyes close slowly as her lips pucker.

>You bring your lips to her’s and lightly press against them, taking in the smell of her perfume which smells oddly similar to a field of flowers.

>Her breathing growing heavier as you get closer and closer.

>As your lips touch, a spark ignites as time comes to a stand still.

>For what feels like an eternity, you lock lips with the mare until she breaks free.

>Celestia nuzzles your neck before closing her eyes and falling asleep on your chest.

“I guess tonight makes up for the last date,” you mutter to yourself before passing out.