Celestia's Revelation

>"Please, Anon. You're the last creature I can rely on."

>You adjust your tie in the mirror and check for any blemishes as Luna continues to explain the situation.

>"I've had the best that Equestria can offer. Minotaurs that could life boulders, unicorns that could solve the most difficult of problems... but none of them could get through to her."

>She looks up to you with puppy dog eyes.

>"You're our last chance."

>Cracking your knuckles, you nod your head.

"I'll do what I can."

>Opening the throne room doors, you walk down the long room and immediately see what Luna's talking about.

>Celestia, the once elegant and beautiful princess, sits upon her throne.

>Or what you could only consider sitting.

>The poor mare doesn't even fit between the armrests!

>If morbidly obese was the highest measure of the scale of fatness, this girl was a new one all on her own.

>Celestia looks between you and Luna, confused at the intrusion.

>"Luna, what is the meaning of this?" she exclaims, her mouth filled with cake.

>Luna darts forward, sheer determination across her face.

>"This is a revelation, my dear sister. Your eating habits have become out of hoof."

>She points to you.

>"Anonymous here has agreed to help you with your problem."

>Taking a bow, your crack a sinister grin.

"They told me I was meeting a princess, not an albino narwhal. You must have eaten the memo without realizing it."

>Luna withholds a chuckles as Celestia throws you a glare.

>"Anon, please. I'm am in top shape."

>You wag a finger and head up the small stairway to the throne.

"I'm well aware that round is a shape, m'lady."

>The two guards at the doorway snort, clearly struggling not to laugh.

>"Anon, this is unnecessary. I'm fine as I am."

>Shaking your head, you giggle to yourself.

"Princess, you're far from 'fine'. Let me tell you a story."

>Jumping down from the staircase, you turn back to her and straighten your legs.

"It's about the last time you jumped on a scale. Instead of a number, you got 'to be continued'!"

>Luna can't hold it any longer.

>Her laughter echoes throughout the hall, getting the attention of the guards and servants outside.

"It was a good thing you sent Luna to the moon instead of yourself. Otherwise the thing would be gone because you thought it was really made of cheese!"

>Celestia's cheeks turn a slight pink as she cocks her nose into the air out of frustration.

>You run up to the throne and grab a piece of cake, giving Luna a wink.

>Throwing the cake up, you and everyone in the room watch as the sweet orbits around Celestia.

>Celestia peeks and catches sight of the pastry.

>She darts at it with her neck and nibbles on each pass.

"You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull!"

>The guards can no longer hold it.

>Them, along with a few maids, burst in laughter as the princess continues to peck at the cake.

>Celestia's eyes begin to water as she continues eating the cake.

>You're finally getting to her!

>One last joke should do the trick.

"It's okay, dear," you say, placing a hand on her wither, "I noticed how you've been on a diet."

>Celestia sniffles, wiping a tear from her eye.

>"Really?"

"Yeah," you say with a crooked smile. "The see food diet shows clear results!"

>The mare bursts into tears as the now crowd of ponies booms with laughter, pointing at her.

>"It's so true!"

>"Just look at her!"

>The princess attempts to fly out of her seat to get away from everyone, only to stay in place from being too heavy.

>Everyone's laughs grow louder, making the castle walls shake.

>Celestia rocks herself out of her chair, only to have it stuck to her butt as she stand on her hooves.

>At this point, you can't help but chuckle as well.

>Celestia gallops out of the room, crying her eyes out.

>Holding onto the floor, you crack one last joke as she makes for the door.

"EARTHQUAKE!"

_________________

 

>"Thank you for all your help, Anonymous," Luna says with a chipper tone. "I'm sure with this, she'll finally have the motivation to lose the weight."

>With a shrug, you take the large sack of bits and hold it in your hand.

"No skin off my nose. I just do my job as a comedian."

>Throwing your coat over your shoulder, you head out the door.

"If she becomes an anorexic in the near future, give me a call. I could use the work."