Title:           Vanilla Ice Cream [FOODPONY][QUESTIONABLE]
Author:          BluntTongs
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/Jb8iRHfJ
First Edit:      Wednesday 16th of April 2014 05:54:53 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 16th of April 2014 05:54:53 PM CDT

>"Anon, get up!"
>what appears to have the temperature and mass of an iceberg hits you in the chest
>you happen to be somewhat asleep in bed
>"It's time for breakfast!~"
>ah, yes
>that would be Ice Cream Pony
>though you just refer to her as her namesake flavour, Vanilla
>...it's still rather early for a meal, right?
"Nnhg...Five more minutes."
>you mumble
>but Vanilla is not one to give up on punctuality
>so she simply straddles you and wipes her cold hoof on your face
>naturally, you bolt upright, eyes wide with the sudden chill
>Vanilla is thrown backwards off the bed, and lands with her back to the floor
>she's unhurt, and giggles at her little prank
>"Come on, now, let's get you something to eat."
>she gets up and leaves the room, letting you get dressed and wipe the ice cream off your face
 
>Clothes equipped, you head out of your room towards the kitchen to greet the Ice Cream pony
"Good morning, Vanilla."
>you call out through the hallway
>"Wait, hold on, it's not ready yet!" she yells back
>a door, presumably the kitchen's, slams shut
>and thusly, you make your way to the dining room, located just outside the kitchen
>you're a bit wary of the way Vanilla tend to cook
>she always incorporates ice cream into the mixtures, even if it's a simple nut mix
>...the way she works, SHE might be a simple nut mix
>yes, Vanilla's a strange one
>always eager to get along with the show, it seems
>your thoughts scatter as you enter the dining room
>a single platter is laid out over the small table in the center, along with an empty glass and some silverware
>you take the seat with the plate, and wait
>peculiar sounds emanate from the kitchen
>ones you might liken to the cry of an animal, or even the sound of pain from a sentient being
>but soon, it dies off, and you're back to reality
 
>the door to the kitchen bursts open, and out steps Vanilla, a bowl of cereal carried awkwardly in her mouth
>"Mpph mmph mm!"
>she walks up to your place on the table, and sets the bowl down
>"I mean, "It's ready!""
>you examine the pot of substance in front of you
>it's a bowl of Cheeri-o's
"...Uh..."
>"Go on, go on!"
>she smiles eagerly at you, as if she had prepared this particular bowl of cereal to be just perfect
>you take the spoon from your place setting, dip it into the mixture, and put the load into your mouth
>well, it's just a bowl of Ch-
>woah
>woah, woah, woah, wait a minute
>this milk is really delicious
>as in, the best EVER
>it's as if a goddess herself had created a holy bovine, filled with sweetness and artificial vanilla flavourings, and milked it to create the best milk there ever was
"Vanilla, this milk is amazing! It's like drinking liquid sex!"
>she blushes a bit, and giggles at your amazement
>"I knew you'd like it."
>of course, the cereal is just Cheeri-o's, nothing too interesting
>but got-dayum, that milk...
 
>after you drink the rest of the milk, you lean back in your seat and sigh
"Thanks for that, Vanilla."
>"You're quite welcome~"
>now, fully energized by your delicious drink, you head out the door with a goodbye to start the day
>leaving Vanilla to herself, to do whatever she does
>refrigerate herself, probably
 
------------------------------------
 
>Yes, Anon had no idea!
>sure, he said it was "liquid sex," but that doesn't count
>you head back into the cluttered kitchen
>the floor is strewn with rather rude things, some of them vibrating, and your 'milk' is everywhere, as well as some excess "chocolate sauce"
>but others can't tell the difference between artificial and natural nowadays anyhow
>you sigh, and go to get the mop
>on your way to the broomcloset, you stop by your room
>a calender marked with red X's denote the day's you haven't been found out, in regards to your cooking
>all the days are marked off
>you grab the red marker sitting on your desk, and mark off another one preemptively mark off today's date
>it's been a good day, so far
>and tomorrow will be much of the same...
>...And Anonymous will still be blissfully unaware of his food's peculiar source...
 
[END]