Title:           Black Mage Anon Part 1: Wandering the Forest
Author:          BlackMageAnon
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/bpSkzVJS
First Edit:      Sunday 22nd of April 2012 09:38:29 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 22nd of April 2012 09:38:29 AM CDT

>Slowly, you open your eyes.
>The filtered light of a dense forest meets your gaze.
'I'm...alive?'
>Started, you quickly sit up and pat yourself down.
'Arms, legs, chest seems intact. What in Ifrit's name happened?'
>Your hands wander to your face, sliding up slowly to ruffle your short hair.
<At least I seem intact. Where am-
>Your Hat. You are missing that iconic yellow top.
>With a flash of strength, you pull yourself into a standing position, searching the ground around.
>A short distance away, you spot it, laying atop your grimoire and staff.
>As you place it on your head, you feel the old magic cover your face, shrouding your image and giving an eerie glow to your eyes.
'Happiness is a good Hat.'
>You reach down and pick up the large tome and your staff.
>Useful as they may be, your Hat is always a priority.
<Damn straight I'm yer priority!
>Even if it was the most annoying artifact you had ever met.
'Where in the realms are we?'
<Not a clue, boss. Beyond Ivalice, at least.
“I suppose I should pick a direction and begin walking, eh?”
<The journey of a thousand miles yadda yadda.
>Set and determined, destination unknown, you start forth into these strange wilds.
>Boredom sets in quickly and your faithful companion attempts to alleviate it.
<On the first day of winter, my best bro gave to me, a goblin in a red Gi!
'That was terrible. Honestly, without reservation, I think I would have preferred that the Fae had simply slain me if it means having to hear you “sing”.'
<Party pooper.
'That's me. I live to rain on your parade. My whole existence is designed to ruin your afterli-'
>You stop, pausing to listen carefully.
>In the distance you hear shouting, roaring, and the sound of woman's scream.
<Engage Knight in Shining Armor mode!
>You race through the woods, following the sounds.
>As you leap over logs and roots the noises get louder until you burst into a large clearing.
>There, you see two massive beasts with the body of a lion, the tail of a scorpion and rows of razor-sharp teeth cornered what appeared to be several brightly colored small horses.
<Woah man. How much Gyshal Green did we smoke?
'A thought for another day, Hat! We have uh...equines to save!'
>With your grimoire chained at your belt, your staff in your hand, you stride forward into the clearing, doing you best to impersonate Billy Bad-ass himself.
“Oi, ugly bastards! How about you pick on something that can give you a decent fight?”
<Dude, how do you even know we aren't disturbin' the natural balance of things? Those four don't look very intelligent.
'In our land, the best strippers have rabbit ears. Those...things were most certainly talking. Maybe we can get some answers. A little flash and sparkle, and they'll tell their “Heroes” anything.'
>As one, the two beasts turn to face you, clearly annoyed at the interruption.
>Ignoring their actions, you raise a hand, fingers curled to snap. A word leaps to your lips as your fingers strike against one another, although the roar of Thunder drowns the word in your ears.
>The first of them collapses in a smoking heap as the light and noise fade, massive burns covering its back and head.
>Seeing this, the other gives a mighty roar before it charges, ready to sunder your giblets for daring to challenge them.
>How little they know.
>You point two fingers at the charging beast and mimic the kick of a gun. A small spark flashes off your hand before exploding against the monster, covering it in fire and smoke.
>It collapses in a heap at your feet, though you spare it no attention.
>The three smaller creatures are huddled behind the relatively larger one, its horn leveled at you.
'Maybe you had a point.'
>”Get back! Not another step closer!”
>Not the reaction you were going for.
<Shit man, yer about ta get skewered by a plum pony!
'Real funny.'
“Err, miss, I mean you no harm.”
>”Why should I believe you? I've never seen anypony use magic to...to...kill.”
<...I got nothin'.
“They were trying to eat you, right?”
>The look of confusion on your face is lost in the shadow of the Hat.
“I'm uh...not. Shouldn't that be enough for a little trust?”
>You step forward again, only to watch the pony steel herself.
“I swear, by book and staff, I mean you and yours no harm. I am lost, and in need of help.”
>You bow, hoping she accepts this.
>With your eyes cast down, you hear her step forward, the smaller ones in tow.
>”What are you? And why do you smell so terrible?”
>Your head snaps up as your eyes narrow.
<Low blow, man.
“Those are my spell components!”