Pale's Sexual Misadventures

>Day 777 in Equestria.

>You are Pale Narrator.

>It must be your lucky day.

>However, knowing Bizzles and what he writes it most likely isn't.

>Being the fuckhead you are, you eat shit walking down your stairs and slam your head onto the floor below.

>"GOD DAMIT!"

>Maybe not so lucky.

>Fuck it, shit happens.

"Fuck, I think I just broke my face..."

>You get your ass off your floor and stand up.

>You walk into the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror.

>Shit.

>You most definitely broke your face.

>Hope it's not too bad.

>WAIT! You know the solution to every problem.

:{

"OUUUCH! Dammit that hurt!"

>You can't make you signature :3

>This day gets better and better.

>Hmmm perhaps Fluttershy can help you out, she is good with this kinda stuff after all.

>You get dressed and head off to Fluttershy's cottage.

>If only you noticed the bush with 5 pairs of eyes slowly following you off the side of the road.

>Well whoever they are they definitely notice you.

>They attack at the exact right time.

>When you are practicing your :3 in your mini mirror.

:{

"Mmm Nope."

:]

"Nada."

:4

"What the absolute fuck was that?"

>"TASTE MY ROYAL HOOVE PESANT!"

>WHAT THE FU-

>Luna flies through the air and hits you square in the face with her hoof.

"OH SON OF A BITCH!"

>Rage mode activated

>You jump up and prepare to attack when you see the rest.

>Stop mid-air.

>Luna, Pinkie, Lyra, Aj, and... Colgate?

>They are all just standing there.

"Umm what the fuck was that for?"

>PP" Well Silly, We just love that you spent so much time writing us we wanted to thank you!"

"Okay... Well that's swell and all but can I ask you something?

>AJ” Well shoot, I don't see why ya can't"

>L"THOU MAY ASK THY QUESTION!"

"Yeah, so if you all love me, WHY DID YOU ATTACK ME!" "AND WHY IS COLGATE HERE?"

>PP" Because Bizzles thinks it's funny to force Colgate upon you silly!"

>Bizzles what the fuck.

>Lyra” And well, you know, if we just came at you and asked to have sex with us we thought you would say no.

"Now why on earth would I say no, I mean come on you coul- wait WHAT!"

>C" We are going to rape you, it's okay, I brought my brush! Brushie Brushie, Squee!"

>Dear god.

>What is happening.

>You don't even believe in god.

>But here you are.

>There is only one thing to do.

:k

>PP"BUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Your face is still broken! Teeheheee!"

>Fuck.

>Plan B it is.

"Hahahaha...LATER!" You take off towards Fluttershy’s Cottage but it's so far away.

>Plan c.

>Into the EverFree Forest!

>You can at least buy some time in there.

>Right?

>You feel a rough thick rope latch around your right foot.

>AJ"I hope ya enjoy ya trip Pale!"

>PP" Pffft a-and pfffft se-see you next fall! Pfftahahahahahahahahaa!"

>Oh fuck me that was just horr-

>You hit the ground.

>Hard.

>C" looky here girls. It's...Dangalang time."

"Oh wow Bizzles, fuc-"

>You don't finish your sentence.

>Pinkie shoved a sock in your mouth.

>Why?

>PP" Now this is the part where we fuck! Hahahahaha, d-do you get it hahahah!"

>Fuck you irony.

>Irony" Fuck you Pale"

>Aj" D'all here that? Wha'd ya reckon that was?"

>L" Thou art not right in thyn head"

>PP" Let's just get this party started!"

>You shed a single tear as all of the ponies you love and Colgate slowly make their way towards you.

>FS"WAIT...you know, if you don't mind that is..."

>Fluttershy, She'll save you!

>Lyra" Hey Fluttershy, Didn't think you were gonna make it!"

>...damn.

>FS" How could I not show up for this. I mean, he did save me from those bandits..."

>Pinkie, your Pinkie, looks you in the eyes.

>PP :3

>"MMMNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!"

>PP" Yes my sweet"

>Pinkie takes your head with both hooves and pulls your head into her tits...located at the rear.

>That's right, anatomically correct ponies.

>Your worst nightmare.

>Hmmm they smell like cotton candy.

>This would be nice if they weren't Pinkie's breast and you weren't being raped.

>But some people just like to watch the world burn.

>Because rape, rape never changes...

>C" Take off his gag!"

>Luna trots up to you and takes it out.

"Oh for the love of god what now!"

>C"I have to make sure you have clean teeth before we put that mouth of yours anywhere!"

>...

"We-"

>She pulls a toothbrush out of her marehood, stopping you mid word.

>C" Don't worry anon, I'm just making sure it's nice and minty! Unlike toothpaste, I can get every single germ in your mouth, none of that 99.99% bull that the dentist feed you! There is a reason they call me Colgate after all!"

>She shoves the toothbrush into your mouth and vigorously scrubs away at your teeth, gums and tongue.

>Damn she's thorough.

>C" Now that we are done here, It's time for the rise!"

>The rest of the ponies hold you down as she prepares herself.

>C" Let’s see if your tongue is as good at this as it is as when you narrate"

"Nooooooo-

>She places her lips on yours.

>And not the lips on her face.

>You keep your mouth shut tight as possible.

>C" Oh anon, You have to breath sometime"

>What does she mean?

>Your nose is still free.

>Oh no.

>You spoke to soon.

>She shoves your nose into her breast cutting off all air.

>C" If you want to breathe, you have do as your told Pale! Teheeee"

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"

>You open your mouth and take in a gasp of fresh air.

>Sadly, It's not so fresh.

>Wow, she really does taste like mint.

>Oh man!

>It burns!

>C"Mmmmm, win-win for the both of us, yes? I get this and you get a super duper clean mouth!"

>Man.

>You have been at it for atleast 4 minutes.

>She gets off your face.

"Huuuuhh huuhh"

>as you sit there and pant, the rest of the ponies get up.

"Whin I gith mah handths in yauuu..."

>Man your mouth is so numb you can't even talk.

>PP"Teehee! You sound so funny! My turn!"

>Pinkie grabs you and throws you down.

>She sits on your lap and leans into your neck.

>She whispers into your ear.

>PP"don't worry Pale, I won't bite...soft."

>Wut

>Using her strange Pinkie powers, she throws confetti at you and your clothes somehow disappears into a puff of smoke.

>She jumps on your limp dick and slides her marehood across it.

>Penes pls dunt do dis

>Penis"Pael pls"

>You penis betrays you, getting hornier than Twilight in a library.

>PP"Oooo It's kinda tiny! Haha, That's okay!"

"Fluck yaaaau!"

>PP" What was that Pale? I can't understand you."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

>PP :3

>...

>You decide to kill yourself when this is all over.

>Pinkie jumps on the penis that has betrayed you while you’re not paying attetion.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

>How does something so wrong feel sooooooooooooooooooooo good?

>Wait snap out of it!

>You can't feel this way...but oh wow...

>Shit!

>Alright sad thoughts

>Hmmmmm My Little Dashie...

>Your eyes begin to tear up.

>Brain"Hey Buddy, remember the part where they fuck!"

>Oh god dam-

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

>You can't even think anymore.

>The only thing you can focus on is the pink pony bouncing up and down at the speed of well...Pinkie.

>THAT'S TOO FUCKING FAST

>You can feel yourself at the edge of cumming.

>Pinkie knows it to.

>She looks you dead in the eyes and shoves her tongue down your throat.

>That's all she needed.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

>You let off a shit storm of your seed into here poon but she doesn't stop.

>She's had her taste of you and no longer feels like sharing with the others.

>She's going to end it now.

>You feel a strong suction on your dick.

>Your eyes roll into the back of your head.

>Pinkie just went full on Hoover Vacuum on your dick with her vagina.

>You can't control yourself.

>You can literally feel your semen being sucked out.

>She sucking you dry.

>Finally, you’re at the point where you're gonna pass out from pleasure.

>Or pain.

>You're so close to passing out you don't even know anymore.

>The sucking stops.

>You slowly close your eyes and begin to enter the land of dreams.

>Right before you do you look a Pinkie.

>She is giving you the most loving stare ever.

>Maybe this wasn't so bad.

>PP"AAAACHUUUUUUU!"

>She sneezes right on your face.

>There is only one problem.

>Confetti didn't come out.

>Your sperm did.

>PP :3

 

End of Part 1.