[CYOA] Shitty love story ending with your death

>You are Anonymous

>You are currently strolling through town square with a pink fuzzball of annoyance skipping blithely next to you

>Her voice rings in your ears like a thousand nails on chalkboard

>"So she told me, that I should add cola to the mix! Can you believe that? I mean, of all the things to put in cupcakes, you want me to put in cola? That's the silliest thing ever! What would a cola cupcake even taste like anyway? Would eating it make your nose all twitchitwitch from the bubbles? Would cola cupcakes even have bubbles? That would be super duper fun if they did! Ooh! I could make up a whole new batch with nothing but soft drinks! I bet the- Oh! Hi Caramel! Where was I? Right! So..."

>You scream internally

>You have a long day of staying the fuck away from this pony that you need to be getting to

>And she's stuck to you like glue

>You look around for any distraction you could use to get her eyes off you for a second

>"...and then I chopped her into itty bitty bits, and stuck her in the oven!"

>She's still blabbering

>Now amidst the plethora of stalls, you see carts full of fruits and vegetables and other goods

>You could probably make a break for it if you tipped something over

>But you wouldn't want to cause any undue trouble

>What's your plan of action?

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winning post: (Just smile and nod)

 

>Your skin is crawling right now

>You want to flip your shit so badly

>Instead, you take a deep breath, smile and nod politely

>"And then I put pickles in a blender! But I forgot to put the top on, and pickle pulp went everywhere! I was cleaning my mane out for weeks! Weeks, I tell you! Do you know how awful it is to smell pickles in your mane? Blech! I wonder if they make pickle shampoo? That would be gross!"

>Your eye twitches

>Your smile falters

>You want to punch her in the face

>"Heya, anon!"

>BONBON! You beautiful faggot!

>Please, save me from this evil!

>"Hiya Bonny!"

>"Pinkie, please don't call me that"

>Pinkie bounces up to her and starts chatting her ear off

>Now would be the perfect time to make your escape

>Where to?

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winning post: (Kiss Pinkie to quiet her)

 

>You have the perfect chance to run

>To get away from the pink menace

>To sail away to another country on a sweet yacht

>So why the hell aren't your feet moving?

>Oh hey, there they go

>Feet

>Feet, what are you doing?

>Feet, stop!

>Don't move towards her, run away!

>You find yourself next to the two mares

>You look down at Pinkie

>There's this feeling in your chest

>You don't know what it is, but it's making your hands move

>Down to her soft, pink coat

>They cup her head and move it to look up at you

>"Annie, what are you doing?"

>Those beautiful eyes

>Those lips that never shut the fuck up

>The sweet smell that wafts from every inch of her body

>You lean down and take your prize

>Kissing her full on the lips, in the middle of the market

>Her eyes go wide, and so do Bonbon's

>Several ponies stop and stare, some making awwing noises

>You break away and stare into those eyes

>"A-Anon, I..."

"Pinkie, I..."

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winning post: (Now continue on the business of the day. Leave her behind, if she's too stunned to move)

 

>Silence ensues between the two of you

>It seems like an eternity

>"Maybe I should leave you two alone"

>Bonbon fidgets nervously from the scene unfolding in front of her

>Pinkie finally decides to speak up

>"Anon, I never knew-"

>She stops mid-sentence as you quickly stand up, turn around, and walk away

>Both the mares follow you with their eyes as you wander off to no particular destination

>Well, you got away

>At the expense that the bane of your existence here now thinks you're in love with her

>Great. Now, where are you even headed?

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winning post: (go to the marketplaza)

 

>You stop walking

>You turn back around

>You return to the market from whence you just came

>You're standing dead center in this place

>This place of memories

>Memories that, like a bad hangover, won't fucking go away

>You see Pinkie and Bonbon some ways away, talking to each other

>Being around all this food is making you hungry

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winning post: (Gets some fucking chocolate and offer it to said ponis)

 

>You waltz on over to one of the stalls

>You ask for some chocolate, pay your fee, and walk back to the two mares you abruptly left during such an intense moment

"Hey girls, I got you some chocolate"

>Bonbon awkwardly takes it from your hand

>Pinkie pushes it away and looks up at you with a quivering lip

>"Anon! Why did you walk away? Y-You just kissed me out of the blue, then leave me like that?"

"Well..."

>What's your explanation for this?

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winning post: ("You are best pone." And then start showing her the dance of my people.)

 

>"Well?"

"You are best pone"

>She blinks in confusion, before smiling

>"You... really think that?"

>Before she can say anything more, you break out into dance

>The dance of your people

>To some beat only you can hear, you grab your belt and start swaying your hips

>You roll your arms and point to the sky

>You shake that ass

>You're fucking smooth, bro

>The mares in front of you just drop their jaws

>Bonbon drops her chocolate

>They watch in awe as you spin and slide through the market

>"Is this some kind of strange, human mating ritual?" Bonbon ponders aloud

>So big guy, what now?

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winning post: (Apologise for wasting everyone's time. Then leave Equestria forever.)

 

>You stop dancing

>This is silly

>This whole place is silly

>You're fed up with it all

>You loudly declare your displeasure

"I'm sorry, everyone, for wasting your time. I shall leave this place forever!"

>"Anon, no! Where are you going to go?" Pinkie asks sadly

>You have no idea

>You can't go back to your world

>There is no way back and there never will be

>So there's only one thing left for you to do

>You saunter over to a stall selling only two things

>Balloons and cutlery

>You pick up a large knife and place it to your throat

>"ANON! NO!"

>You bring it across your jugular in one, swift movement

>Blood gushes from your neck as you fall to your knees

>Your vision darkens

>The last thing you see before eternal sleep overtakes you

>Is Pinkie Pie, crying over you

>"But Anon..." she sniffs "I never even got to tell you about the time I had a fun day out with Derpy! T-There I was, just trotting through Ponyville, when she comes crashing into me at full speed. And I was like, 'Woah! Watch where you're going!', and she..."

>Even now, she won't stop talking

>Your hearing deafens, and as her words float away, you close your eyes for the final time

>Fucking Pinkie Pie

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Story ended by get.

 

Made at a bad time.