[CYOA] Burning libraries and urination

>You are in Twilight's library

>She's going on and on about some stupid book

>Something about Monkey Dicks, Quantum Theory and You, a beginners guide

>Your attention is drawn to a table of flasks filled with highly flammable chemicals

>You're becoming increasingly bored

>wat do

-----------------------------------

winning post: (ask her to grow your dick 3 sizes that day)

 

>Interrupting her during her tirade is like speaking to a brick wall

>A very talkative brick wall

>Nonetheless, she manages to hear your request past her inane babbling and her horn glows

>Your pants grow tighter and a very visible bulge appears

>You measure your new appendage

>Exactly three times the size it used to be, neat

>She's still talking

-----------------------------------

winning post: (Tell her that if she made clones of herself she could get more work done.)

 

>You suggest she make clones of herself so she could get her work done faster

>The room is now filled with Twilight Sparkles

>All of them talking

>The ruckus of her repeated use of the words monkey and dick is starting to draw attention

>Or maybe the town really is that interested in quantum mechanics

>Your head hurts from all the jibber jabber

-----------------------------------

winning post: (See how many twilightsyou can stack before the twitower falls over.)

 

>Out of madness you begin stacking Twilights like building blocks

>You get about seven high until it inevitably topples over

>One of the Twilights rolls into the table of flasks, shattering them and spilling the contents on the floor

>The burner falls with and lights up the concoction

>The library is now on fire

>The Twilights are still talking

-----------------------------------

winning post: (Throw panka in the hopes the fire will begin to sieze)

 

>You throw panka into the fire hoping to put it out

>The fire does not cease

-----------------------------------

winning post: (Run to the nearest ponies and call for the fire station/aid!)

 

>You rocket out the door in search for help

>You slam face first into a crowd of ponies

>They're all standing around gawking at you

>Or maybe it's the smoke billowing out of the front door

>Yeah, it's probably that

>"Hiya, anon!" Oh shit, Pinkie

>"Pinkie, call for help. There's a fire."

>"No worries, silly! I can help!"

>"Pinkie, no!"

>She throws confetti into the fire

>The fire grows larger

>You hear a chorus of dicks from inside the library

-----------------------------------

winning post: (Put it out with gasoline.)

 

>You quickly get off the ground and look around frantically for something to put out the fire

>You see a big red canister filled with some sort of liquid

>It stinks, but it's definitely liquid

>And as you learned during your time with the boy scouts, liquid puts out fires

>You run back and toss the contents on the fire

>For some reason the fire grows even more, now licking the ceiling

>Drats, you were sure that would work

>You hear sirens off in the distance

>Huh, you weren't aware ponies had fire engines

-----------------------------------

winning post: (Snoop dog shows up to smoke some weed)

 

>Out of nowhere, fucking Snoop Dogg

>"Smoke weed everyday" he says as he takes a puff

>A burning tree branch falls and crushes him beneath

>His time here was short, but his message will live on forever

-----------------------------------

winning post: (Spike walks out of the library to see 60 Ponkas raping you for no reason.)

 

>Spike wakes up from his nap, walks past the numerous Twilights and finds you being raped by a gang of sixty ponkas

>How you thought this would help put out the fire, you don't know

>Just then a wagon pulls up with a cross-eyed gray pegasus in a firefighter's helmet

>She stops her wee woo-ing and looks around at the debacle in front of her

>"We were alerted there was a fire in the vicinity. Can you point us in the right direction?"

>There is clearly a burning tree right in front of her

-----------------------------------

winning post: (Pee on her)

 

>You struggle your way out of the barrage of ponka rape and let them fuck each other

>You walk up to the little pegasus and unzip your fly to let a torrent of salty golden pride hit her on the head and dribble down her face

>In retrospect, you could have just urinated on the fire, but you no longer have that option

>Her eyes are beginning to tear up from the sting of your piss

>"Why would you do that?" she asks

-----------------------------------

winning post: (I get of to it.)

 

>You reply simply "I get off to it"

>She smiles at you

>"I do, too!"

>All these years, you've finally found your soul mate

>You embrace her jovially, covering yourself with your own piss

>The crowd applauds, everyone ignoring the screams and smell of burnt flesh coming from the library

>Today is a great day

-----------------------------------

winning post: (beaners show up to clean up the mess)

 

>A stampede of sombrerians rush the house while their shitty festival music plays

>They gather up all the ponkas and burnt Twilights, clean you and Derpy off and smother the fire with their bodies

>They leave as quick as they came, leaving behind the smell of Mexican food and taking all your beer as payment

>The mare you're hugging begins to cry

>Fucking beaners, taking jobs for lower wages

-----------------------------------

winning post: (Give Twilight a morpher so she can become a power ranger alongside you (feel free to pick which season))

 

>Luckily, their shoddy workmanship is apparent as they've left behind one of the dead Twilights that got herself stuck underneath a fallen bookcase

>You put a morpher in her burnt hoof and shout "Go Go Power Rangers!" at the top of your lungs

>She is now a burnt Power Ranger

>What a cunt. You wanted to be the red ranger

>You kick the corpse and the extra crispy tail falls off

>Now what

-----------------------------------

winning post: (go to church nigga)

 

>You realize what atrocities have been committed today

>You make your way to the church to beg forgiveness and expel the evil spirits

>"No, faggot"

>God has forsaken you

-----------------------------------

winning post: (Sacrifice Derpy.)

 

>It hurts, but in your heart you know what must be done

>You return for your beautiful walleyed mare and bring her to the church to begin the ritual

>She pleads for her life, but you know this is the way it's supposed to be

>You'll appease the gods by offering her up as a sacrifice

>You urinate your pants in anticipation

>At least this way she will die still loving you

>You bring the ceremonial knife down and impale her upon the altar

>"I call upon the father, the son and the holy moot!"

>It seems the gods are pleased

>It also seems you went from monotheism to polytheism in the span of a second

-----------------------------------

winning post: (Pull a "it was all a dream" and wake up having dozed off over twilight's rambling.)

 

>Sounds of thunder and lightning ring throughout the church

>You laugh like a mad man, covered in the blood and urine of your sacrifice

>You're about to request the gods aid you in world domination, but the words "monkey dick" begin to reverberate off the walls, louder and louder until

>You wake up

>It was all a dream. The clones, the fire, the Mexicans, the ponkas, your beloved...

>A single tear rolls down your cheek

>Twilight is still talking

-----------------------------------

winning post: (cum and fart while riding twilight's horn and fingering her.)

 

>You throw off your pants and mount Twilight's horn

>It fills up your asshole snugly

>You let out a fart while grinding your prostate against its smooth surface

>Cum spurts from your dick and lands on her back as you reach over and finger her furiously

>Spike has woken up from his nap and is now staring at you with his mouth agape

>Twilight has moved on to string theory and the fall of Rome

-----------------------------------

winning post: (the ass fucking friction has started a fire)

 

>You grind your asshole against her horn, faster and faster until sparks start to fly

>You let out a massive fart, the sparks igniting it and sending out a pillar of flame

>Spike is caught in the crossfire as the pillar laps at the books and sets fire to the library

>Spike is dead

>The library is on fire

>Twilight is still talking

-----------------------------------

winning post: (ask her to triple your penis size)

 

>You loudly request Twilight triples the size of your penis

>In a flash, your hog is now resting at the base of her tail, cum trailing down her fat, juicy ass

-----------------------------------

winning post: (Leave the way you came: with a horn up your ass.)

 

>You stand up and ejaculate yourself out the door

>It's a bright, sunny day

>Children are playing, libraries are burning, and grown men are standing out in the open with no pants and a unicorn hanging from their ass

>You feel the wind on your nuts

>Where to?

-----------------------------------

winning post: (Remove twilight from ass, repants self, decide to turn this into a romantic cyoa.)

 

>You pull Twilight out of your ass with a loud pop, and let out a fart for good measure

>She's still talking

>You toss her in the burning library, find your pants and cover yourself

>Suddenly, you feel... romance

>It wells up within your heart and pours out of your pockets like the pasta your grandmother used to make

>You feel like donning a beret and growing a fancy mustache

>You are now on a quest for romance, and nothing will stop you!

-----------------------------------

winning post: (You end your quest for romance, and have a heart attack.)

 

>You take a single step into the bright, new world

>And collapse

>You're having a heart attack

>Your quest for romance was cut short, and so was your life

>You die in the streets of Ponyville

>You hear you had a nice funeral; flowers, music, strippers

>Maybe not that last one, but you heard it was nice

>All in all, you lead a pretty good life

>...

>Your eyes dart open

>You're in heaven

>Celestia is looking at you strangely

-----------------------------------

winning post: (Yamino and Purple Tinker repeatedly run Celestia over with a riding lawn mower until she's dead. They tell you to check your privilege.)

 

>Suddenly, a couple of confused, tranny manladies burst forth from a cloud and run Celestia over with a riding mower

>She's stuck under the wheel and ground into a pulp

>You take one of her eyeballs for good luck

>The dickgina duo tell you to check your privilege

>Apparently you're not authorized to be in heaven

>You faintly hear them mention something about bananas as you're ejected from a cannon to the world below

>You're hurtling towards the earth at supersonic speeds

-----------------------------------

winning post: (Preform double rainboom as autisticly as possible, come back as an autistic neck bearded faggot.)

 

>You've heard about it

>You've heard legends about it

>The double rainboom

>You straighten yourself out as clouds zoom by

>You feel yourself picking up the pace

>A rainbow envelopes your form as you speed towards the earth below

>In the most embarrassing way possible, you shout "Double Rainboom!"

>You feel a beard start to form on your neck

>Your clothing turns into pony merch

>Spaghetti streams from your pockets

>Your autism meter is off the charts

>"Awww yeah, the rainboom has been doubled in ten seconds flat! I'm 20% cooler! Brohoof, world!"

>You reach breakneck speeds as you continue to spout off shitty, pony-related memes

>A thundering boom can be heard for miles around

>You tear through the fourth wall, and break every dream Lauren Faust has ever had

>You fly out the other side, crashing into the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner

>You stand triumphantly

>Having raped three little girls, you're not even trying to hide your power level

>The Cakes are looking at you in horror

>There's cheeto dust everywhere

-----------------------------------

winning post: (Feel epic amounts of shame for referencing that awful fanimation)

 

>You hang your head in shame

>That whole fucking fan episode was bad and all those involved should feel bad

>And you fucking referenced it, you autistic neckbeard piece of shit

>For shame

-----------------------------------

winning post: (go find Pinkie Pie and give her lots of Rare Candies)

 

>You quit your spaghetti-fest and dart out of the kitchen

>Now where is that pink party mare?

>"Here I am!"

>Nigger, get out of my head

>"Pinkie! I have candy for you!"

>She gasps and starts bouncing around you

>"Gimme! Gimme! Gim-"

>You cut her off as you start shoving rare candies into her mouth from your sauce-filled pockets

>What's this? It seems Pinkie Pie is evolving!

>Pinkie has evolved into Morgan Freeman!

>Pinkie learned narrate!

-----------------------------------

winning post: (Pinkie uses her new powers to put you out of your autistic misery. You stop existing.)

 

>Morgan Freeman uses his powers of ultimate narration to remove you from existence

>You are floating in a void, your power level crippled

>You float by several robots ranting about extermination and deletion or something

>You see a blue police box off in the distance

-----------------------------------

 

Story ended by winning post