Title:           Ninja-Lyra
Author:          Battle-Brother_Rune
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/Rc9XRiXm
First Edit:      Friday 13th of April 2012 11:28:21 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 13th of April 2012 11:28:21 PM CDT

Bon-Bon blinked her tired eyes. Something about the bedroom was off.
>She rolled over and yawned, her blurry vision landing on a dimly lit clock. 4:17.
>She shot up as it suddenly dawned on her, Lyra wasn`t in the bed.
>She put on her robe and stumbled out into the hallway, one eye shut and the other burning as it looked at the light coming from the kitchen.
>She poked her head into the kitchen, vision slowly adjusting "Lyra, are you in-"
>Her vision fully adjusted and she sighed, Lyra was standing in front of the stove cooking something.
>"Lyra? What are you doing?" Why was she up so early?
>"Making chocolate pudding." Why did Lyra sound sad? What was going on?
>"Lyra, It`s 4 o'clock in the morning. Why in Equestria are you making chocolate pudding?" Bon-Bon was a bit miffed, she had work in the morning.
>Lyra gave a small shrug and continued mixing the pudding "Because i`ve lost control of my life."
>Bon-Bon scowled, rage slowly building in her veins. "Lyra, is this about the hand incident?"
>Lyra turned her head and gave a low grunt. "I was right all along Bon-Bon, don`t you see?"
>Bon-Bon shook her head, she was not in the mood for this. "Lyra, suck it up. You stole his hoof for Celestia's sake!"
>Lyra scowled. "It`s not a hoof Bonny, it`s a hand." Why didn`t she see how important this was to her?
>Bon-Bon had enough. "Lyra, let`s go back to bed. I need to head to work in a few hours. Tomorrow, you go find that thing and ask it about its hands."
>Lyra stared at the bubbling pudding for a moment, a scowl sitting on her mint green face.
>"That`s it!" Lyra turned off the stove and poured the pudding down the sink.
>"What is it Lyra?" Bon-Bon was angry, confused, and tired. She watched as Lyra headed in to the bedroom and gave a contented sigh.
>Only for her scowl to come back full force as Lyra walked out in a Ninja-pony outfit and carrying the biggest bedroom toy they had.
>She was flabbergasted. "Lyra, what in the name of Celestia's wide world are you going to do with THAT."
>Lyra reached the door and stopped for a second, a non-existant wind blowing leaves through the house. "To embrace my destiny Bon-bon."
>She leaped out the window right next to the door. She didn`t just open the door and walk out, she crashed through the window.
>Bon-Bon seethed with anger. "Lyra, get back here! LYRA! LYRA! LYYRRRA-"
>Lyra sighed as the screaming finally quieted down. She had to find Twilight.
>She snuck through pre-dawn Ponyville wielding a dildo as a weapon. Her horn glowed faintly as she snaked through alleys and hid behind trash bins.
>She felt that she should have an eye-patch for this but no time for that, she was a Lyra on a mission.
>She felt as sense of victory as she eyed the tree-library across the road. She was to close to buck this up.
>She inhaled several times, trying to fill her muscles with oxygen. She shook her rear-end and shot like a rocket across the street.
>She slammed into the mailmare making her morning rounds and fell back onto her rump.
>Derpy, however seemed heavier then Lyra and mearely fell on her stomach.
>Derpy gasped as she looked at Lyra, surprise and confusion etched onto er face. "Lyra, why are you dressed up like that...And what are you carrying?"
>Lyra`s eyes looked up and down the street. It was clear. "I`m sorry Derpy."
>"Lyra? What are you-" Derpy was cut off as she was bashed over the head with the large dildo. She fell over spread-eagle out cold.
>Lyra grabbed Derpy by the tail and dragged her over into a pair of bushes. That was surprisngly easier than she thought.
>She beat frantically on the library door and readied her bludgeon.
>She only had one chance at this.
>The door was shoved open by a sleep-deprived spike. "What is i-" He joined Derpy in a deep sleep as the thick rubber toy bashed him over the head.
>She pushed Spike into the Library and tied him up with some rope she kept on the costume at all times.
>Now to find Twilight.
Lyra quietly inched up the stairs, taking care to slowly apply pressure so as to keep as quiet as possible.
>A grin broke out of her face as she reached the top of the stairs, where Twilight snoozed without a care.
>She slide her hooves gently across the floor, making as much noise as a mouse.
>Suddenly, Twilight's clock went off and the lavender mare started to sit up from her resting spot.
>Twilight yawned and used a hoof to wipe the sleep out of her eyes.  Her eyes flittered open, refreshed from a good nights sleep to be met with...the blood shot eyes of Lyra?
>Why was she dressed as a ninja? What in Celestia's name was she carrying?
>"Lyra, what are you doing in my house? Why are you wearing that? Why are you carrying THAT!"
>Lyra just smacked Twilight upside the head witht the large rubbery dildo. "Where is he? Where is the human thing?"
>Twilight rubbed the side of her head, Human? What was she talking about?
>"Lyra, i have no clue what a human is!"
>The ninja-pony scowled.
>"The thing that i got the hand from, where is he?"
>Twilight`s eyes widened. "Are you talking about Anon? He`s in Canterlot."
>Lyra huffed, and stared down Twilight. "I`m sorry, but i have to do this."
>Twilight sighed. "Please, just get out of my-" Twilight slumped back into her bed, the Dildo-hammer claiming another ponies conciousness.
>Lyra gathered all the magic she had. She wasn`t as good at teleporting as most ponies, but if given enough effort she could do it.
>She focused and felt the pop and strange sensation following the teleportation.
>She heard a few gasps of the late night/early morning crowd that usually hung out in Canterlot park. Hopefully, no one would recognize her.
>"Lyra, what in the world are you doing with all of that?" She turned to see the relaxed features of DJ pon-3.
>No time for for apologies, she simply thumped Vinyl Scratch over the head and took off in the direction of the palace.
>Lyra weaved through alleys and side-paths, under bridges and even over roof-tops.
>She evaded guards and snuck past citizens. She would not be stopped, she would not be slowed.
>She had a twisted hunger that only a hand could satisfy.
>Finaly, she stood in front of the palace. Balconies hung quietly from the granite and marble building.
>Se ignored the sheer awe-inspiring wonder the building usually inspired and crept over to the nearest balcony.
>She climbed up and peered into the room. Empty, just like the next one and the one after that.
>The sun would be rising soon, She had to hurry up.
>She peered into the next room and a grin broke out under her mask. Jackpot.
 
>Lyra rushed into the room with a battle-cry, the hand would be hers!
>You had finally gotten a decent amount of sleep. Sure, as an undead you didn`t need it but it was enjoyable nontheless.
>Well, enjoyable until you`re awoken by a screaming ninja-pony wielding a thick, veiny rubber dildo.
>You slide out of bed and stumble a bit. Your legs worked but they still needed to be re-worked.
>You grab your runeblade from the bed post and use it to block the rubbery bludgeon.
>To your surprise, the dildo holds against your blade. What the hell do they make these things out of here?
>Once again, Dildo meets Runeblade in a clash strong enough to produce sparks.
>You`ve given up on trying to understand this world, it makes no sense.
>Slash is met with swing, niether party giving inch as doing such would surely be painful.
>"Anon, i just want your arm!" You remember this pony, she was the one who violated you without actually violating YOU.
>"No, i don`t want part in whatever you have planned, just leave!" You shiver at the hungry look in the mare's eyes.
>With a well placed parry, you knock the green pony`s dildo away and hold your sword up in a guard style.
>Only to have it bashed out of your hand as Luna opened the door.
>Lyra gave a roar of rage, and your pretty sure a fair amount of lust and gripped your arm with her magic.
>Luna glared at the green pony and gripped your other arm, the un-stitched one ith her magic.
>You were a rag-doll in the middle of a magic tug-of-war.
>Fuck your unlife.
 
>You hear a small snap of thread come from the arm Lyra is pulling on.
>It begins.
>The jerks are getting sharper and more painful as the two mares are literaly pulling you apart.
>And they can`t hear you over the shouts that they screamed at each other.
>Another ripping sound and your arm erupts in pain, you were kind of glad that the bones hadn`t mended back together yet.
>Finally, they both give shouts of anger and pull. Your arm finally gives up and with a loud pop Lyra rips your arm off.
>She gives a shout of victory as you go flying into Luna. Lyra sticks your severed arm on her belt and leaps off the balcony.
>6 am was was too early for this shit.
>Luna lets out a scream of indignation to match your growl of annoyance.
>You look at Luna and push yourself up off the ground with your remaining arm. "Well, this morning has been fun...."
>Luna gives a small sigh. "Who was that?"
>You shrug. "Somep0ny from ponyville, i`ll have to get it back...again."