Title:           Crazy ponies and constant headaches
Author:          Battle-Brother_Rune
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/zr4d3SiH
First Edit:      Friday 30th of March 2012 11:32:30 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 30th of March 2012 11:32:30 PM CDT

You walk up and grab the severed arm that used to call your body it`s home.
>Clean break, only some chainmail damaged and you can fix that easily enough.
>You hold the hand of your severed arm and walk to the bakery, it seemed like it had better days.
>The moment you step through the hole in the wall you`re pelted with popcorn and gummy bears.
>Chilly, the little bastard, had been watching the entire time. Apparently he wasn`t satisfied with the show.
>You lift up your severed arm and use it to flip him the bird and he repays you in kind.
>Suddenly, cupcakes, cupcakes everywhere! "By the Titan's creation! The frosting! It`s in my eyes! It`s burning my eyes!"
>You tip over something and hear a scream as your severed arm flies from your grip.
>Your fall knocked most of the icing of your face but your arm was know in the hands of a mint green pony that hadn`t left.
>She grinned at it an ran off...Fuck.
>You scrambled to chase after her but the frosting made you fall back on your face.
>She`s going..going...going..and She`s gone.
>Today wasn`t your day....
>You felt yourself hoisted up and the icing disappeared from your face.
 
>The white pony was looking at you sternly.
>"You will tell us what you are and what you plan to do here."
>You really can find no fucks to give right now, all you want is your arm back before it get`s eaten or something.
>"Fine, I`m going to say this once, and once only. My name is Anonymous, Knight of the Ebon blade."
>"I`m here because i owed someone a favor, and he botched a spell. As for planning? I just want my fel-damned arm back."
>Another bar of soap smacks you in the face.
>"Will you stop that!" You glare at the Pink pony, the first pony you met.
>"Not until you stop using naughty words, Mister Anonymous!" You rub the bridge of your nose with your remaining hand.
>"Look, can i go get my damned arm back or no?" This time several pieces of popcorn land in your hair. You really need a bath after today.
>The big one nodded and motioned to the purple pony you choked. "Twilight, go with him and retrieve his arm."
>She looks at you with a mix of fear, curiosity, and repulsion. You understood all but that last one..
>Wait, your arm is leaking greenish fluid and pink maggots are falling out of it, nevermind.
>"Follow me Mister Anonymous, i know who took your arm."
>"Good, the faster i get it back the faster i can choke my penguin."
>You got a laugh from the blue pony
>"Is that what your kind call it?"
>Fucking perverted horses.
>Finally having enough to march after the purple pony, Twilight you believe her name was.
>The walk only take several minutes until you`re staing at a small house.
>"This is Lyra and Bon-Bon's house, let me just knock an-"
>You kick the door down, tired of this shit and march through the house.
 
>A pony is throwing things at you, she has several candy marks on her flank. This must be Bon-Bon.
>You ignore the various items flying by your head, and walk through the crammped hall way.
>You see the thief laying on a couch cuddling your hand. You pullout your broken jaw and pop it back into place.
>With a sigh of irritation you rip your arm of of her grip.
>Something's wrong.
>Your arm is sticky...
>The pony looks satisfied...
>This doesn`t surprise you.
>You haul ass out of there.
>You want to find a river to clean off, and some thread to stitch your arm back on.
>"Where`s the closet place i can get a needle and some thread?" Twilight gives a huff that sound like a neigh.
>"What, don`t tell me you knit after all of this." You facepalm with your severed hand.
>"No, I`m going to stitch my arm back on, now where can i get some?"
>She motions her hoof to a prissy, carousel-esque building.