Title:           Weirdest Game Ever
Author:          BallsOfFluff
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/tcLawG2d
First Edit:      Friday 6th of April 2012 04:24:08 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 6th of April 2012 04:24:08 PM CDT

Author: StrangeCreed
 
>fluffy pony is playing with one of the old baby toys you bought for her
>she burbles happily, but is stumped with trying to fit a square peg into the triangle hole
>it seems apropos as you grease up
>you crawl over to fluffy pony, erection swinging between your legs
>without a word you flip fluffy pony over
>"Wah! Pway new game?"
>you lower yourself, rubbing your savagely pulsing erection against her soft belly
>fluffy pony is still giggling and thinking its just a belly rub
>you grab the fluff of her head roughly and began grinding harder
>"Owchies! No puh! No puh!"
>you're getting closer, and you tell fluffy pony to open her mouth for a 'special treat'
>door opens
>roommate and his girlfriend walk in
>after a moment of shock they start laughing hysterically
>you start crying, but blow your load into fluffy pony's waiting mouth
>why do you smell tomato sauce
>spaghetti shot from your urethra!
>fluffy pony squeals in joy and latches onto your dick, sucking like a tiny vacuum cleaner
>roommate and whore laughing
>you ejaculate again while fluffy pony chokes out "wuv skapetties" through a mouthful of sauce-caked cock
>diarrhea starts, the force of which propels you out the window, flying like an out of control model rocket exposing your shame to the entire apartment complex
>crash and die
>fluffy pony finds better owner, still tries to fellate for more spaghetti
>you adopted a fluffy pony recently but her behavior has been troubling
>she plays loves all the things a fluffy pony should
>however, every time she climbs into your lap she tries to unzip your fly while babbling about spaghetti
>this troubles you and you're hell-bent on finding out why
>after a week long investigation, you discover that she was the fluffy pony of a dangerous pastamancer
>also, apparently he was discovered forcing his fluffy pony to give fellatio
>as you are lost in thought, your fluffy pony waddles across the couch and into your lap
>"fwuffy hungy"
>you try not to feed her only spaghetti
>you're no expert, but that diet is clearly part of the reason fluffy ponies don't live very long
>"wan spesha sketties!"
>you shove her off of your crotch
>undeterred, her supple hooves try to clumsily unzip your pants
>pick up fluffy by scruff, still wiggling to get at your junk
[fluffy pony], I do not shoot spaghetti out of my penis
>"fwuffy dun' care! spesha huggies an' den skaskeghies!"
>suddenly, a torrent of piping hot noodles flows out of fluffy pony's mouth
>it forms a terrible effigy of a man in squirming, serpentine pasta
>"I. LIVE. AGAIN."
>you are now confronted with Spaghetti That Walks
>the dread pastamancer casts Ray of Pesto, and you barely succeed your reflex save
How very clever! Using a fluffy pony as a vessel for your unholy noodle apotheosis! Have you no shame?!
>you draw you +2 Sorry Stick of Disrupting
>fluffy pony is stunned, and takes no action
>the Spaghetti That Walks utilizes its Improved Grab to slam, then pull you into a grapple, but your high CMD prevents it from using engulf
>with a mighty swing from your sorry stick, you smash the pastamancer, forcing it to discorporate
>among the remains you find a Helm of Retard Protection, Knee-pads of Allure, and an Unnatural Axe
>fluffy pony has drowned
>you look into your neckbeard GM's face
What the shit, you didn't even roll a Fort save for my familiar!
>he snerks "Hey, you wanted a fluffy pony as a familiar, you should have seen this coming."
>his group of toadies nods in agreement
Fine, do I at least level up?
>"you are now... a third level paladin."
>you begin editing your sheet
>seriously, Pathfinder with fluffy ponies
>weirdest game ever